Against All Odds (14 page)

“We haven’t had a lot of time to talk over the last three weeks,” Cali says. “Do you want to tell me why you’re staying with Gray, Coco?”

I’m not sure how to say it, so I just spit it out. “Cooper had a
moment
.”

Cali becomes quiet, very, very quiet. I give her time, letting her take what she wants from my statement. I open my eyes and meet hers.

“Did he touch you?” she asks, her body shaking slightly.

“No. Yes. Sort of.” I’m not sure how to communicate what happened. “He just sort of lost it. I’ve put him through a lot. I’m not making excuses for him, but he’s dealing with too much right now. Gray’s being over-protective and doesn’t want me to go home, but I’m fine. I just miss Coop. Why does it have to hurt this bad?”

“Because you love him,” she whispers.

“I know, but is it enough, Cali? I don’t know anymore. I keep telling myself I’ll wait. He’ll forgive me. But I don’t know if I can. I’m not sure I can get through to him. He’s too angry.” I admit, my eyes filling with tears.

My body pines for something it can’t have. I check my phone to see if he responded, but there’s nothing. I decide to send him another message, hoping it’ll make a dent in his hardened heart.

Me: I miss you.

I hold my breath, wishing for a response. I desperately will him to give me something, but all I get is the usual deafening silence. I feel distress setting in, an overwhelming feeling of abandonment pressing against my chest. Then my phone lights up, and renewed hope sets in.
Maybe he’s thinking about me too.
I glance at the display.

But the name skipping across the screen makes my stomach drop. My hope is dashed, and a tear drips down my face.

Nate: Are you ready for round two? Cause I can’t stop thinking of that sweet pussy.

I’m slammed by anger: at Cooper for acting as if I’m dead, at Nate for thinking there’ll be a round two, and at myself for getting involved with a slimeball. I set the phone down and inhale a cleansing breath. No way in hell will I text him back. That was a mistake, one I’m eager to put behind me. I’m sick of men. I don’t want to deal with them anymore. I just want the feelings that sex creates, not the baggage that goes with it.

I want to be free.

I hope I’m strong enough to break this cycle I’ve put myself in. But without a little communication from Coop, I’m not sure how long I can last. I look at Cali, at the compassion in her blue eyes. She smiles, but it’s forced. She sees my broken heart and knows that I’m struggling to get my life in order.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I know you love him, and I know he loves you. He’s just being an asshole. You guys have been through so much, and he’s overwhelmed. If it makes you feel any better, he’s looked like shit for the past couple of weeks.”

That
statement gets my attention. Cooper prides himself on looking put together. He prides himself on pretending he’s the perfect man. My stomach dips in dread.

“What do you mean?”

“He looks like he hasn’t been sleeping, like something’s bothering him. He’s not his arrogant self. He’s looked a mess.” Her forehead creases. “Of course, Layla’s been there picking up the pieces.” She rolls her eyes.

“Wh …What pieces?” I stammer, starting to freak out.

“Like I said, he’s seemed off. He hasn’t been paying attention. He’s been barking orders, which is typical Cooper, but the last couple of weeks have been different. He’s stressed. Overtired. Overworked. He looks like something’s on his mind.” She sighs, sadness swirling in her blue eyes. “I’m sorry, I don’t know if I should even tell you this, but I think something’s going on with him and Layla. After he got back from Key West, I noticed things between them heating up. I tried to keep an eye on them. Cooper’s pretty good at keeping up appearances, but I saw him leave the office with her two weeks ago. They’ve been taking the same car home every night since.”

My chest burns as if it’s been set on fire. Cooper’s left the office with Layla. Cooper’s left the office with Layla in the same fucking car, every night.

Oh God…
Did he fuck her in my bed?

I’m assaulted with hurt. Nausea kicks in. “God damn it, that son of a bitch better not have taken that whore to my house.”

I feel myself shake, rage burning in my veins and sending me into a tailspin of emotion. I try to calm myself down.
He wouldn’t do that to you. He wouldn’t.

Cali’s eyes simmer with pity. I hate pity, but coming from her, it makes me feel better. She knows I’m stuck.

“It’s going to get better,” she says.

I don’t believe that anymore. I need him back. Every day, the reality of that happening slips further and further away. My hopelessness grows more defined with every passing minute. Suddenly I just want to go home, crawl into bed, and sleep until Cooper comes back for me. “I need to get home.”

“It’s getting late anyway,” she says, laying her hand on mine. “Just remember one thing, Coco. With every new day comes a new opportunity. Give it some more time. Don’t give up. If you two are meant to be, you’ll be.”

I look at my friend, thankful to have her in my life. “I love you, Cali girl.”

“I love you more.”

We link arms and walk back to the club entrance. I tell her I’ll call her in the morning, and we hop in separate taxis. Hers heads home, and mine goes to a place that’s slowly becoming more and more promising with every passing day. Grayson’s house holds no pain, just a man who promises to give me what I need. I try to remind myself that three weeks ago, I was ready to wait for Cooper forever. But now I wonder if he’ll ever be ready to forgive me and move on.

How long can I hold on to a dream that may be dead?

The reality of that thought is terrifying. I will myself to keep living in a bubble of false hope that at any time he could come back to me and bring me home. But Cali’s confession about Layla hangs heavy in my heart. Just weeks after I threw myself at him, he’s chosen someone else. He keeps saying he needs more time, and I guess I’m stupid enough to give him that.

I need a fix. Something to soothe this aching hole inside me. If Cooper has Layla, then I can have someone too… someone like Gray.

I’m thankful for the dark silence that greets me as I stumble through the front door. I’m really not in the mood to have Grayson watch me melt down. I need silence and privacy.

I head for the liquor cabinet, grab the whiskey, and take some slugs straight from the bottle. I’m sure I’ll pay for it in the morning, but right now, I really don’t care. I move to the kitchen and grab a glass. I set the booze on the granite countertop, fill the glass with water, and take a sip. My head feels muddled, but the warmth of the whiskey slowly works itself through my cells. I alternate between the two until I feel blissfully unaware of the information dropped on me tonight.

I shift my head, feeling a prickle coat my skin. Something on the refrigerator catches my eye. I tug the mystery item out from under a post card. It’s a picture of Cooper, Grayson, and me at a family barbeque two and a half years ago. My heart hammers, and pins and needles slash through me as I follow Cooper’s hand to my swollen belly. Air drains from my lungs as the image in front of me triggers a memory so intense I stumble back, hitting the counter.

“Kylie, I’m so sorry, but we have to take the baby now,” the nurse murmurs, her tone full of sadness and compassion.

I look at Kayla on my chest and start to shake. I hold her as tightly as I can without hurting her and lay my face on her head. “No, you can’t have her. Please, I’m not ready.”

She stares at me, tears in her eyes. I’m sure she doesn’t know what to do, but I’m not giving her my baby.

She’s mine.

“Okay, honey. How about a little more time then.”

I hoist Kayla up on my shoulder, laying her precious face in the crook of my neck, and I press mine against her cold skin. I close my eyes and breathe her in, whispering in her ear. I rub her back, loving her dead body without a thought of ever letting her go.

I open my eyes and see Cooper staring at me. He looks devastated. The nurse whispers something in his ear, and he grimaces, his eyes springing with tears. He nods and reaches for his phone, typing something. I clutch Kayla tighter. Unease slithers across my skin when he walks to me slowly, taking a deep breath.

“Hey, sweet girl.” He smiles weakly. “We need to start saying our good-byes now.” A couple of tears drip down his face as he looks at me and his princess. He drags a hand tenderly across her head and places a delicate kiss on it. He lifts his face to mine and lays a palm on my cheek. “Can I hold her? Would that be okay? I need you to kiss her and say good-bye. I need a minute with her, Kylie.”

I look at him in disbelief. I know what’s happening, but I don’t want to accept it. Denial flows thickly through my veins.

I bring my mouth down to Kayla’s ear. “Don’t worry, my little star. Daddy’s going to give you right back to me. Mama’s just giving him a couple minutes.” I kiss her cheek and smile at Cooper as I lay her in his arms.

“Kylie,” he whispers, his voice cracking.

“It’s okay, Coop. You can talk to her, hold her. Just make sure you give her back, okay?”

“Kylie.” His body is frozen, and fear edges his features.

“No!” I pin my eyes to his. “I’m not ready. I’m not saying good-bye. I can’t.”

With tears streaming down his face, he shakes his head and takes a seat. Softly crying, he speaks delicate words into her ear. My heart trips over itself as I watch him rain kisses along her cheeks. The nurse comes in a couple minutes later with Grayson behind her. She lays a hand on Cooper’s shoulder. My pulse thunders murderously as I watch Cooper nod, look at the baby, and back at me. I take a breath and hold my arms open in a silent demand he return Kayla.

He shakes his head and walks toward me. His composure slips with every step. Once at my side, his emerald eyes look lost. “One last kiss.” His voice is almost inaudible. “It’s time.”

I look between him and Kayla. “Give her to me, Cooper” I command, my throat clogging with tears.

“I can’t, Ky,” he sobs. “I want to. More than anything in the world I want to, but I can’t. There’s nothing I can do. It’s time.”

A scream rips from my chest as my body trembles. My heart cries for my daughter, my soul desperate for its creation… the little girl who owns me. As panic overtakes me, I claw my way off the bed to get to her. My feet hit the icy floor while Cooper moves back, holding Kayla tightly, with shock plastered on his face. The nurse takes my baby from his arms, looking at me with sadness and distress.

I trip over my legs toward them, the IV catching in my arm. I hear a commotion as Cooper stands paralyzed, unable to move. Warm hands wrap solidly around my waist, and I’m hoisted into gentle arms before I can take another step forward. I kick, bite, scream, and fight with every fiber of my being. But Gray holds tighter and whispers soothingly in my ear. I feel as though I’m dying. Physically I’m in pain, but emotionally I was just murdered.

All my energy drains as my body gives out and sadness takes over. I want to die. Grayson holds me securely, protectively cradling me.

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to shake myself out of the memory as gut-wrenching sobs rip through me. I’m desperate to block out the image of my child being taken. Warm hands wind around my waist. Gray picks me up and settles us on the floor, rocking back and forth. He murmurs calming words in my ear.

“It’s going to be okay. Everything’s okay. I’ve got you.” He keeps telling me these things and reminding me to breathe.

Eventually I calm, my adrenaline waning. I let his scent bring me the peace I so desperately seek. He pulls back and looks into my eyes, his flashing with concern.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

I point an unsteady finger toward the fridge. He twists around and looks at the picture now lying on the ground.

He lowers his face and scrubs a palm across it. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that was there.”

“Gray…” I whimper, feeling like my heart has been torn out.

He looks at me, his eyes filled with remorse and sorrow. “It’s okay. I’m right here, Kylie. I’m not going anywhere.”