Against All Odds (11 page)

“Can I help you with that?” He licks his lips, heat coiling the space between us.

I don’t answer his question. I shoot him a narrowed, light hearted glare and swim to shore, dropping my sundress. As I stand at the edge of the water, I look out at Gray’s body. My tummy flutters, sending warmth trailing over my skin. The fact he’s here with me is not lost on me. I want to see him happy, loved, and taken care of. A small part of me wishes I could be that girl. The one who gives him everything.

He deserves that.

It makes me sad to think he’s wasting time on me. But I know the man Gray is. He’s pure to the core. He’d do anything and everything to see me happy.

He glances over his shoulder to see what’s taking me so long and I smile before heading back.

“What were you thinking about?” he whispers.

I shake my head, my smile small. “I don’t think you want to know what goes through my crazy mind.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong.” He pulls me close. “I always want to know what’s going through that sexy head.”

My pulse flutters as I feel his body. I should pull away, but instead, I twine my arms around his neck and wrap my legs around his waist. This isn’t a friendly position, but I don’t want to fight his warmth. It’s been so long since I’ve felt more than just lust with a man. With Gray, it’s deeper. We have a friendship, and I like his arms around me, bringing the contentment I crave so badly. We’re stepping over boundaries, but as usual, my toxic self enjoys pushing limits. I just hope I don’t bring him down with me. Hands settling on my waist, his heated eyes connect with mine.

“What are we doing?” I ask, my voice unsteady.

“I don’t know. But I don’t want to stop.”

“We can’t, Gray. It isn’t right.”

“Maybe it isn’t, Ky. But I don’t care. You need someone to love you, and I want to be that guy.”

“Why now?” I ask.

“It’s not a question of why now, Kylie. I’ve wanted to be that guy for you for a while. I’ve just tried to be respectful of your boundaries. But the reasons to stay away from you don’t make sense. I shouldn’t be off limits. If anyone is equipped to take care of you, it’s me.”

“Gray…” His words settle deep in my gut, stirring an ache in my core. He makes me feel wanted.
It’s wrong.
I’ll never feel for him what I do for Cooper, but I need it. My soul is freezing and craves heat.

“You’re beautiful. Every time I look at you I fall a little more.”

“You can’t say stuff like that,” I whisper, my face heating from the compliment.

“It’s true. Every fucking word is true.” His voice is smooth like rich chocolate. He pulls me closer and buries his face in my neck.

He feels so good this close.

We’re asking for trouble. I know it; he knows it. But we ignore it. I shiver as I breathe in his scent, trying to infuse it deep inside me. I want to take the comfort he gives me and use it when I feel life crushing me. Something warm and wet slides against my neck, and I realize he’s licking a path to my ear. A groan slips from my mouth, my legs trembling with need.

“Jesus, you taste good,” he whispers.

I whimper. I should put a stop to this, but I can’t. When our eyes meet, all I see is desire and hunger. He looks at me in a way I haven’t seen, felt, or experienced in years. I want him. I shouldn’t, but I do. I want to feel loved, savored and cherished.

“Say it, Kylie. Ask me,” he pleads.

My mind and heart war with each other. One pleads for me to take the leap, the other begs me not to. “I’m scared. What about Coop?”

He puts a finger to my lips. “Don’t. He knows exactly where I stand when it comes to you.”

Confused but entranced, I’m unable to resist the lure of temptation. My heart wins out, seeking what it’s thirsty to find—
affection
. “Kiss me, please.”

“About damn time,” he breathes, eyes flashing with relief.

His hands trace my face, his palms warm. I close my eyes and spread my lips, wrapping my legs tighter. My desire calls out for him, asking for something it shouldn’t have. It begs for his caress along the most intimate parts of my body. Ones his eyes shouldn’t explore. I feel his breath, feather soft against my mouth, and hold still.

Anticipation runs wild.

Then his lips touch mine, making contact. They’re soft like the caress of satin. My body sparks. My closed heart cracks its eyes open after years of sleep. His tongue drags across my bottom lip and those sparks ignite. I pull his face closer, wanting more. He groans, and that groan sends a spiral of bliss through me. His tongue touches mine, and those ignited sparks flame. All of my thoughts are lost on Gray as I taste him for the first time.

God, he tastes sweet and addictive. Our tongues pass back and forth. Wetness seeps from my sex, an ache sidling in, causing my muscles below to clench.

Oh this is…
I can’t finish the thought. It’s just too good.

We kiss for a minute longer, holding each other tight. Then he stops.

I open my eyes, catching his smiling ones.
God, he’s amazing.
Sexy, sweet… perfectly Gray.
My heart buckles, falling into my stomach.

“Jesus, you’re incredible,” he says.

My face burns at the compliment, and shyness creeps in. As my eyes leave his, they catch something in the distance.

My heart stops. Completely stops. I stare at the blank face of my husband. He stands behind the deck with both hands braced against the railing, his eyes burning holes through the back of Grayson’s head. His face is unreadable, but his body language betrays him. His fists are coiled tight, his shoulders are stiff, and his chest is heaving.

He’s angry. Very fucking angry.

His eyes bounce to mine, imprisoning me. Behind their depths is a potent blend of anger, hurt, betrayal, and another fleeting emotion…

Yearning…

I see yearning in Cooper’s eyes. My body—already in shock—freezes. But my heart that had stopped beating a moment ago, slowly starts to pump.

My first instinct is to push Gray away. But I’m transfixed by the look in Cooper’s eyes. The reflection I see in them sets my heart aflame. I want to run to him, wrap my arms around him and whisper how sorry I am. But I don’t. Still fresh in my mind is the last time we were together and the last couple days he’s been ignoring my calls and texts. I feel the urge to taunt him—maybe even hurt him—take over.

I look at Gray and he goes rigid. He hasn’t realized that Coop’s standing on the deck but he sees the mixture of emotions that are smeared liberally across my face.

“Hey, whoa… what’s wrong?” he whispers.

“Nothing. Can I ask you something?”
Don’t do it …

“Of course,” he says, bringing a palm to my cheek.

My heart constricts at the thought of what I’m about to do to this sweet man. “Can you kiss me again?” I ask, swallowing the guilt.

Surprise dances behind his eyes for a second, but is quickly replaced by hunger. He strokes his fingers across my cheek, weaving them through my hair to grip my neck. “I’d love nothing more.”

Oh God, why are you doing this?

My body tightens with what I’m about to do. I should stop it, but I’m powerless to the self-destruction that continues to rule my life. He moves his mouth toward mine, and I angle my face slightly, forcing my eyes open. I stare at my husband as I meet Gray’s lips. I kiss Gray with passion, fervor, and yearning, the way I wish I could kiss Cooper.

I never, not once, drop my eyes from his.

Everything in me bellows and claws. The broken part of my soul chants, “No, no, no! Please stop. Don’t do this!” But the fucked up part is cheering me on. Emotionally, I’m lost. My heart’s a mess, my conscience is destroyed, but the passion I see in Cooper’s emerald eyes as he watches me kiss his best friend bewitches me. The intensity of his anger, hurt, and longing blazes an inferno inside me, egging me on.

I slide my hands through Gray’s hair, deepening the kiss, and move up and down his body. I see Cooper register the movement. His heaving chest becomes out of control as he lets go of the deck railing and starts pacing. I see the torment seeping through him, creating a tornado that’s about to devour us all.

His pacing stops. He turns toward us, and an angry growl floats from his chest. It’s so loud that Gray releases me, startled. I push back, and my eyes spring with tears. I’ve gone too far. His breathing rapid, Gray turns toward the house. I see his body stiffen, bracing for a fight. He mutters a curse and looks at me with resignation and disappointment.

“Stay here, Kylie. Don’t come up there. Swim to shore and wait,” he orders, his voice gruff.

Before I can respond, he’s moving like a tiger to the house, ready to confront his prey. Cooper surges toward him at lightning speed. His fists are clenched, his face pained, and fear stirs inside me. My head becomes foggy, and my breathing becomes shallow. I feel as if I’m standing in quick sand, and fear is swallowing me whole.

What have I done?

I watch them yell at each other. Gray grabs Cooper’s shoulder, yanking him harshly, and Cooper swings and connects with Gray’s face. I want to scream, but I feel paralyzed. Gray roars, his hands shaking as he points toward the house. I can’t make out exactly what they’re saying, but I hear Cooper say, “Fuck you,” loud and clear.

Grayson stills, his body going completely taut. “Get inside the fucking house, Bailey. Don’t make me dismantle your ass in front of her.”

Oh God.

Cooper shifts his attention to me. I stand frozen to my spot. Pure hurt seeps off him, slamming and slicing through my chest. I start to cry, my heart breaking as he shakes his head and moves inside.

When they disappear from my sight, I swim to the shore. I get out and all the adrenaline gushing through me leaks at my feet. I sink to the soft grass and sob, gutted by my own dysfunction, by who I’ve turned out to be. I know I’m doing wrong, but the biting sting of Cooper’s rejection runs deep. The feeling so rampant it eats at my insides. The feeling of worthlessness is etched into who I am now.

I just hurt the two people I love most. I might have just ruined a friendship that’s spanned a lifetime. I should get up and confront the pain I’ve caused.
I’m such a coward. A stupid, pathetic coward.

I cry for a while, trying to pull myself together. I’m going to make this right. No matter what’s going on with Cooper and me, or what’s happening between Gray and me, they can’t suffer. I’ll fix this. Scared or not, I need to confront it.

I sit up and swipe at my wet cheeks. I take a couple of deep breaths and stand. I’m afraid. Afraid of what they’ll say and what I might find inside. Once I reach the door, I open it and step inside the cool house. Complete silence greets me, along with thick tension. Goose bumps pepper my frame as I turn into the living room. My chest aches as I take in Gray and Coop. They sit on opposite sides of the room, not talking. The anger and frustration between them is palpable.

As I enter the room, Gray’s eyes find mine, and he smiles weakly. Cooper offers nothing, no acknowledgment of my presence at all. My throat tightens.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, tears welling in my eyes.

Gray stands, coming toward me quickly, and puts his hands on my face. One of his eyes is swollen. I suck in a devastated breath.
My God. What have I done?
Tears drip down my face as I look into eyes that show nothing but affection. There’s not even a hint of anger over what I’ve just done.

Grayson…

“Shh… It’s okay.” He uses his thumbs to wipe my tears, stroking the sides of my face. “It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you, remember?”

“My life gets worse by the minute,” Cooper mutters, the ache of defeat clear in his tone.

I flick my eyes to him and notice he’s looking at the door. He’s getting ready to leave. No way, I can’t let him. We need to talk.

“Cooper,” I plead, my pitch rising slightly with my panic.

“What?” he snaps, whipping his head toward me.

“Don’t leave. We need to talk.” I move my eyes back to Gray, begging, pleading for privacy.

His face hardens, but reluctantly he nods and places a small kiss on my cheek. “If you need me, just yell. I’ll wait on the deck.”