After It's Over (10 page)

***

“Kade!” Joan’s irritated voice woke him. He had fallen asleep on his desk, thinking of Paige.

“What?” he answered.

I can’t believe I fell asleep at work. A million stakeouts and that’s never happened before.

“There’s a highway patrolman who’s been waiting for over an hour to talk to you.” Joan’s hands rested on her thick hips as she glared at him.

From the way she acts, you’d think she was the sheriff. I have got to talk to her about her attitude. But not now. That will have to wait until I feel better.

“Go file something, Joan.”

“I don’t have anything to file.”

“Then go file your nails. Just bring in the patrolman and go.”

“Maybe if you actually went on one of those dates we’ve set you up on, you wouldn’t be so darn grumpy!” Joan turned on her heel, yanked his door open, and stomped out.

Kade had to get the highway patrolman himself and after a brief conversation about trash along the highway, he realized his errand couldn’t wait any longer. He ignored the daggers shooting from Joan’s eyes and walked out.

***

Kade knelt down in front of the Birches’ graves. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here yesterday. I got a bad case of food poisoning. I will never eat another tamale again.” He knelt down to wipe away the dirt and leaves that had gathered around their tombstones.

“I couldn’t get your flowers, Mrs. B. I’m sorry. I know how much you like them.” He spoke in a low voice. The cemetery appeared empty, but he still didn’t want anyone seeing the sheriff talking to a couple of graves.

“I stood up that girl, Erin, she’s the one my mom wanted me to go out with. Well, she paid me back by selling your flowers. She might be cute, but she’s also crazy.” Kade rocked back on his heels.

This was the wrong time to give up tobacco.

He pulled the yellow canary diamond ring out of his pocket.

I’m getting my house in order.
At the time, I thought she meant literally, but now…maybe what happened wasn’t about the pregnancy. Was Mrs. Birch sick? Did she plan what happened? Maybe it’s time I do some digging.
Or maybe I need a vacation because I’m starting to read too much into things that aren’t there.

“Well, you were right about Drew. I served him divorce papers last week though; in his defense that wife of his was no walk in the park. It’d take a saint to make it work with a gal like that. I’m glad I didn’t give him the ring. I thought about it when I heard he was getting married, but then I remembered what you said and thought better of it.” He sighed as he looked at Mrs. Birch’s tombstone. “Thought I was finally going to be able to give this to Paige about a year ago, but life just had to get in the way. I’m not so sure we’re meant to be together anymore. There’ve been so many obstacles.”
And so much pain.

Kade stood up and wiped the dirt from his pants.

“Well, I should get back to work. I’ll see you next month, and you can be darn sure I’ll have your flowers.” He gave the graves one last look before he left. He’d lived in the past long enough for one day.

CHAPTER TEN

“Paige,” Ben nibbled on her ear and whispered her name.

Her eyes flew open and her body stiffened.

“What’re you doing?” she asked.

“I’m nibbling on your ear,” he replied.

“I meant what’re you doing in this bed?”

What is going on with him lately?

Paige rolled over onto her back and studied her husband. He was dressed in his pajama bottoms; he rubbed his bare chest as he smiled at her.

He’s trying to be seductive. Great. Just great.

“Well, it’s our bed, so I slept here last night.”

“Why?” The question slipped out; she couldn’t help herself. 

Ben made a frustrated sound and rolled onto his back. He put his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.

“I was trying to be nice.”

“Oh.” Paige bit her lip to keep from saying something sarcastic. She knew that would lead to him jumping out of the bed and either locking her out of the bathroom or running out of the house altogether.

If he hadn’t volunteered to drive the girls to school today, I would definitely dig for what’s behind this sudden change of heart, but I don’t want to make him mad. Not when I have a chance to actually be on time to work for a change.

“I appreciate your effort to be nice. I was just surprised because you
never
sleep here,” she said.

“Well, I did last night. I even tried to cuddle with you, but you were asleep.”

Paige rubbed her eyes. “Uh...”

I have no idea what to say to that. He hates cuddling. The only time he ever does that is when he wants sex. Is that what this is about? Because he is not getting that.

“But you hate sleeping in the same bed with me,” she said.

“I don’t hate it. I just don’t know what to do when you wake up crying…or screaming. It’s like sleeping in a war zone.” Ben propped himself up on his elbow.

“I don’t have a handbook, but I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to give me a hug or make a comforting gesture of some kind.”

“Hmm…do you need a hug now?” He rubbed her back and nuzzled her neck. His breath was minty and his hair was combed.

He’s obviously been awake for a while.

Paige looked over at him; he raised his eyebrows in a suggestive way. She didn’t know whether to scream, laugh, or run like hell. But being that Ben was the easily angered type, she really didn’t have a choice in how to respond.

“I could always use a hug…sweetie.” She forced the last word out through clenched teeth and flashed her best beauty pageant smile.

I have to try. He’s being nice now, so I have to try at least a little. Don’t I?

Ben wrapped his muscular arms around her and gave her a tight squeeze. She felt his hands wander down her back until they reached the bottom of her nightshirt. He lifted it up and put a hand down her underwear.
That is so not going to happen.
Paige sprung out of bed.

“Where are you going? It’s early enough that I thought we could—”

“I’m going to be late for work. Big case. Have to shower.” She practically ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

“How about we shower together?” Ben asked, trying to turn the doorknob.

I hate showering with him. He can’t stand hot water, so it’s always lukewarm and he makes me stand on the other side while he gets to be under the showerhead—which means I freeze. I am definitely not sharing a shower with him!

Paige moved to the toilet and lifted up the lid. “I’m not feeling very well.” She leaned over the toilet and made the loudest gagging sound she could muster.

“Are you puking in there?”

“Yes!”

“Never mind. I’ll go see if the girls are getting ready for school.”

The sound of the bedroom door closing was a relief to Paige. She dropped the toilet lid and sat down on it with a thump.

I can’t sleep with Ben when all I can think about is Kade. I miss him so much. Where’s that photo album?

Paige opened the cabinet under the bathroom sink. She kept a stockpile of hair supplies in the cabinet and as a result, Ben never bothered to store anything down there. She pulled out the boxes and set them on the floor. In the very back, past the pipes, was a small black album that she hadn’t looked at since the last time she saw Kade. Paige pulled it out and wiped off the dust. She opened the album and her soul flinched. The very first picture was Kade’s high school graduation photo.

Why did I take this album? It hurts too much to see his face. If Dr. Sorenson hadn’t been so persistent, I would not be torturing myself with this thing right now.

Paige thought back to the night she ran into Kade’s father. Grimacing, she recalled the embarrassing circumstances that led to their chance encounter.

***

Paige had been coming out of the liquor store when Dr. Sorenson passed her on the sidewalk. At first, she’d done a double take. She wasn’t sure if it was really Kade’s dad. The last time she’d seen him, he was in his late forties and an active tennis player with a persistent tan. Now his skin was leathery and pale; his hands and face were dotted with liver spots.

“Are you headed to midnight Mass too?” Dr. Sorenson asked.

“Nope,” Paige replied, clutching a brown paper bag.

Whose brilliant idea was it to build a liquor store near a church anyway?

“I’m so glad that I ran into you. I have something for you.” The old man held out a small black photo album.

Paige adjusted the liquor bag so it was under one arm and took the album from him. She flipped through it, a page at a time.

It’s a scrapbook of Kade’s life from high school on.

“I can’t take this,” her voice was higher than normal. Paige handed the album back to Kade’s father.

It’s too hard to see him, especially after what I just went through with Matt. I don’t need a reminder of the great guy I lost.

“You have to take it,” Dr. Bob Sorenson said, thrusting the album into her hands.

“I can’t.” She took a step back and bumped into a guy that looked like he was in a hurry to get to the liquor store.

“Sorry,” she apologized to her fellow patron.

Dr. Sorenson lowered the album to his side, deterred. Paige felt his eyes go to the paper bag she now clutched to her chest. She knew that he could see the bag contained a large bottle of Vodka. Her cheeks warmed with embarrassment.

“Paige, would you like to go somewhere and talk? We could catch up.” Dr. Sorenson’s voice had the sympathy of a physician and the patience of a father.

Paige looked at her feet. “I don’t know. I have other plans…”

“Well, if your plans can wait, I would like to buy you a cup of coffee.”

“That would be nice,” Paige said.

I could use a conversation with a friendly face.

“Do you mind driving? My wife dropped me off. My eyesight isn’t so great at night,” Dr. Sorenson said.

“Sure.”

They walked to her car; she unlocked it, and they got in.

“Where to?” Paige asked, pulling out of the parking lot.

“Let’s go to Kapp’s. They’re always open at this hour.”

She nodded and drove off. They made the short drive with little conversation.

***

Built in the decade before World War II, Kapp’s was a favorite among the locals. The waitress seated them in a corner booth and seemed disappointed the doctor only ordered coffee. She tried to talk him into a piece of pie, but he passed. When she was gone, Dr. Sorenson cleared his throat and took off his glasses.

“We’ve missed you, Paige. I wish things had worked out differently for you and Kade.” He gave her a questioning look. Paige ignored its implication.

“What are you up to these days?” he asked.

“I’m working at a firm downtown, and I own a house in the Narrows,” she replied.

“The last I heard you were in Europe. When did you move back?”

“I came back to the States for college and law school. I moved back to Tacoma a couple of years ago.” Paige sipped her water.

It’s not like I had anywhere else to go.

“You have to go home someday, right?” Dr. Sorenson smiled at her and set the album down on the table.

Home is where Kade is. Did I really just think that? It must be because I’m sitting across from his dad.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Paige shrugged.

Her eyes were trained on the album. She wanted to snatch it, tear through it and absorb every second of Kade’s life that she had missed in the last thirteen years. Dr. Sorenson noticed her fixation and held it out to her. Slowly, she reached out and took the album.

“How is he?” she asked. She gently set the album on the table in front of her, not daring to open it.

I don’t want to cry in a public place, and I just might if I see Kade’s face. How awful would that be?

“Great. My boy is doing well. He went to the University of Washington. I know he always said he’d be a Cougar, but he became a Husky like his old dad. Did you know that?”

Paige nodded. Of course, she knew where he went to college. She had heard bits and pieces of information from high school friends. The waitress returned with a coffee for Dr. Sorenson and a Rum and Coke for her. She gratefully sipped her drink.

“I never pegged you as a drinker.”

“Um…”

Paige sat back against the wall of the booth and stared at her glass. She was half Irish and drinking was just a way of coping in her family. She’d never given the habit a second thought. She wanted to be cool, to wave a hand dismissively and say that her drinking was none of his business, but she couldn’t. Dr. Sorenson had known Paige for a very long time and at one point, he was more of a father than the one who had raised her. Her face crumbled and tears welled up in her eyes. She made several attempts to speak, but only ended up choking on her sobs.

Dr. Sorenson took her hand and patted it. “There, there.”

Finally, Paige cleared her throat and wiped her eyes with a paper napkin.

“My fiancé cheated on me and dumped me. I’ve been drinking ever since.”

Dr. Sorenson nodded, as if he understood her pain, though she highly doubted he did. Kade’s parents were high school sweethearts that had endured the Vietnam War, cancer and the death of their oldest child. Their marriage was the stuff of romance novels and cheesy Rom-Com movies.

“Church is a healthier place to grieve than a bar, dear.”

“I haven’t been to church since before…I mean I haven’t been to church since my mother was alive.”

My presence only seemed to make people uncomfortable, and I haven’t known what to believe in for a very long time.

“I see.” Dr. Sorenson stroked his chin for a moment. “That boy cheating on you and leaving you—it had nothing to do with you. It was about him.”

“How can I not blame myself? It’s me everyone chooses to leave. I’m just not worth sticking around for.” Paige sobbed, blamed the Rum for her honesty and chugged the rest of her drink.

“I have a son that—after thirteen years—is still waiting for you to come around. He never would have left you, Paige.”

The waitress returned and pointed to Paige’s empty glass. Dr. Sorenson politely asked her for water and not a refill.

“I don’t deserve to be happy,” Paige said in a small voice that barely carried above the noise coming from the adjacent bar.

He frowned. “You most certainly do, but until you believe that, it’s just going to be one unhappy relationship after another.”

She nodded and dabbed her eyes with the paper napkin.

“I believe in you, Paige, and I know that when the time is right, you will find your way back to the people who truly love you.”

She smiled at Dr. Sorenson. He smothered a yawn as his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled the phone out and squinted at the screen.

“My wife is coming to pick me up. Are you okay to drive home?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He nodded and frowned. “That album is what you’ve missed in these many years, and I suppose it’s a reminder of the life that you could still be a part of. Not sure my boy would have appreciated me showing it around the church anyway. He just got a commendation and I was hoping to show Father John pictures from the ceremony.”

“Commendation? Since when do doctors get commendations?”

“You didn’t hear? Kade is a police officer. He decided after…” Dr. Sorenson faded off, and then cleared his throat. “Let’s just say he was very affected by what happened to your parents and it inspired him to take a different career path.”

“I had no idea,” Paige chewed on her lip.

My life’s course wasn’t the only one completely and totally altered. Their deaths changed Kade too.

“He’s a good cop. Of course, he would have made a fine doctor too.”

“I don’t doubt it. Are you sure it’s okay for me to keep this?” she asked.