“Blake.” She sobbed. “I can’t fall out of love with you, but I can’t leave Cole either.”
“My heart beats for you. I’ll never ask for anyone but you, only you.” I whispered into her hair.
Lifting her chin her soft lips met
mine, slowly melding together. Wrapping my hand around the base of her neck I held her there, kissing her back lovingly. It was like a jumpstart to my heart. My broken heart lie beating behind my ribcage, fighting to come back to life. Trying to think of anything I could say to make her unconditionally mine, I came up empty.
“Take me, Blake.”
She rasped.
God
, why?
Just hearing her say those words was like a shot of Viagra to my dick. No amount of cold showers could erase her from my memory. The way our bodies melded perfectly together.
She was my weakness.
My kryptonite.
“Pipe, we can’t.”
“Please.” She begged. “I need you. You’re the one that makes me whole.”
Besides being past the point of
bad for me, she made me whole too. Already hard against her thigh, I sat up pulling her to me. Chest to chest, I felt her heart pounding frantically against mine.
Interlacing our fingers
, I slipped inside her heat feeling tears burning my eyes for how much I loved her, and how much this was literally killing me. Kissing her softly, we moving rhythmically together as we made love.
There was no denying
that we fit perfectly together. I thought back to the sleepless nights at the cabin and how much everything’s changed since then. Looking in her eyes wrapped in each other’s arms I was home. I knew then that I would never feel this way about another girl.
She
had me at hello and ruined me as soon as she told me, “I love you” at the airport.
I was teetering on the brink
, holding strong not wanting it to end knowing that when it did everything was going to change again. She let go as tears streamed down her face, matching mine. Finding my release deep inside her I whispered against her lips. “I love you. I always will.”
“I love you, too. I always will.”
“If I was a mistake, I hope I was your favorite.” I said kissing her forehead.
“You could never be a mistake, Blake. Never.”
“It hurts knowing that I did my best, and I still wasn’t good enough.”
“You were too
good, that’s the problem. You don’t deserve someone with as many issues as me. I know that I can’t give myself to you a hundred percent and that’s not fair to you or me. I refuse to string you along, knowing that in the end it’s going to kill us both. I can’t.”
“I’ll take you whatever way I can get you
, but please don’t do this, Pipe. Every day is fucking black. You had your life,
and
I had mine, but you’re all I cared about.”
I left out the part where
she chased me down and broke me.
“You’ll thank me one day.” She said lying on my chest right over my heart with me still inside her
.
I knew this was her way of saying goodbye.
“I hope you’re always as happy like we were.”
“Impossible.” She mumbled, closing her eyes.
I didn’t want to go to sleep
, but I knew if I didn’t who knows the next time I would. I closed my eyes and drifted off dreaming of a world where things like love last.
Morning came way too soon. Somehow I managed to stay inside her all night, neither of us moved from where we fell asleep.
I wanted to move since I was stiff, and I had to pee, but the urge to make love to her one last time trumped.
Lifting her head she looked at me with a small smile playing on her lips pushing up
on my chest and moving down onto me. Thrusting up I never wanted to be anywhere else, but I knew in a couple hours she would be back at the hospital with Cole and this would just be another mistake.
After showering and saying our goodbyes I headed back to the house.
Walking in the door Derek, Jake and Kevin were all sitting on the couch.
“Hey, guys. What’s going on?
Are you planning an intervention or something?”
“Where have you been?” Derek teased
pointing at his imaginary watch.
“
I was at Piper’s, why?”
“Just curious since we were supposed to be recordi
ng this morning and you were nowhere to be found. You also didn’t answer your phone the twelve times that we tried calling. Did you at least get back together?”
I shook my head no.
“Did you at least get laid?”
“Come on asshole, I’m not talking to you about that sort of stuff, it’s private.”
“I’ll take that as a yesssssss.”
“I think if you keep talking about Piper like that you’re going to
be walking around sporting a pair of Irish sunglasses.” Jake told him.
“Or a body cast.” I growled.
“A pair of what?” Derek asked confused.
“I think he means black eyes.” Kevin answered.
“Ah, that’s funny.” He said clutching his stomach, laughing.
“Jeez, name your price ‘cause I’ll pay anything
just for you to shut the fuck up already.” I grumbled.
Derek laughed harder
, falling off the back of the couch.
“Are you okay? Did you resolve anything?” Kevin asked concerned.
“No. We’re not back together. She’s back at the hospital with Cole now. I think last night was more of a goodbye than anything. My brain is so fried I can’t even think.”
“The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love.” Kevin said.
“Come on we’re going to Duke’s. I’m buying.” Jake proclaimed, standing up and heading to the door.
After going to
Duke’s and drinking my weight in alcohol I stumbled into bed. Staring up at the ceiling my mind started wandering, and against my better judgment I picked up the phone.
“Hello.” She breathed. I was
just going to hang up, but hearing her breathing automatically brought me back to my drunken reality. “Blake, are you there?”
“Uh-huh.” I slurred.
Fuck, maybe calling her wasn’t such a brilliant idea after all.
“It’s three in the morning. Are you drunk?” She asked, sniffling.
I could tell that she was crying again. Knowing that something had her upset, and there was nothing I could do to comfort her tore me apart. Wishing I could make her hurt go away because sometimes you just feel too much. “Why are you crying, babe?”
“I had a rough day. It’s just really good to hear your voice.”
I wanted to tell her that I couldn’t fall asleep without hearing hers, but that would just make things worse, for both of us.
“Sorry
babe, hang in there. It will get easier for the both of us. Sweet dreams.”
My head hit the pillow
, and I passed the fuck out.
CHAPTER TEN
White Blank Page
Two months later…
Piper
Thanksgiving passed, so did Christmas and New Years. I was back to working most days and helping Cole at night. With the help of his physical therapist and me he was almost back to normal. For the most part he was back to being old Cole too. He still had the occasional outburst, but nothing outlandish like before and since he couldn’t get around without some help he had no way of leaving for days at a time either. Today was a slow day and Josh just finished putting the final touches on my new tattoo. Taking a quick look in the mirror and wrapping it up we closed the shop and I headed home.
Pulling into the driveway I noticed there was another car in the driveway.
Walking up the sidewalk I opened up the door seeing Cole sitting on the couch with another guy. He looked to be in his mid to late 20’s with a fair complexion and dark hair. He turned to look at me as I set my purse on the table.
“You’re home early.” Cole said
, struggling to stand up.
“It wasn’t that busy
, so we closed up early.” I said apprehensively.
“This is my friend Adam. Adam this is Piper.”
“Hi, Piper.”
Ignoring him I went to the fridge and pulled out my leftover salad and a
bottle of water.
“Did you go to physical therapy today?”
I asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Pausing for a minute, looking at his hands he looked at me shaking his head no.
“Come on, Cole. You’re not going to get better unless you go.”
When he got in the accident he crushed his
hip bone and has been doing therapy since to help strengthen it so he would have full use again. I noticed the past week or so that he’s been slacking more. I know he hates going, but he still has to go if he wants to get back to normal.
“Look who’s talking, why don’t you start hitting the gym again
? ‘Cause your ass is getting big.”
“If you’re not fucking, feeding or financing me your opinion doesn’t matter!”
I knew that I was gaining weight, but between all the stress of the accident and everything that happened with Blake I wasn’t exactly worried about what I was stuffing my face with. I have spent the last six weeks since he got out of the hospital sleeping on the couch since he wasn’t exactly an easy patient.
“I’m going to Aubrey’s. I’ll be back later. Make sure your friend is gone
by the time I get back.”
Grabbing my keys I headed back out the door to Aubrey and Jake’s. I
pushed in the code and watched as the gates swung open. I parked in front of the fountain slamming my door shut and walking up the steps. Knocking twice Granny opened the door.
“Look
who it is. I thought you died since it’s been so long since I got a phone call from you.”
“Hi, Granny. Sorry
, it’s been hectic.”
“Yeah, yeah. I don’t want to hear it. How’s Cole doing?”
“He’s getting there.”
“Do you think you made the right decision?”
Did I? No, not really, but it was too late now.
“I made the only choice I
could.”
“
You look like shit. You need to kick him to the curb and get some action.” She grumbled.
“Granny, quit giving Piper a hard time and let her come in will ya.”
“Why does everyone expect me to sugarcoat stuff? Do I look like a fucking bakery? I just tell it like it is, and she looks like shit.”
After huffing she moved out of the way
, and I made my way to the kitchen. Aubrey came and gave me a big hug, squeezing tightly. The twins were strapped into their high chairs eating dinner. I couldn’t believe how big they’ve gotten since the last time I saw them only a couple weeks ago.
Lifting my sleeve I showed Aubrey my newest tattoo on my
tricep. It was a flock of birds with a quote scrolling around them reading, ‘take these broken wings and fly’. Josh did an awesome job on it, and I was happy to have some new ink.
Just
as I was pulling my sleeve down the front door burst open.
It was Blake with Jake hot on his heels.
“I need to talk to you.” He said brusquely to me. “Can we go outside?”
Shrugging my shoulders
, I followed him out the door.
“Sorry.” Jake whispered as I walked past him.
The second the door was closed his mouth was on mine, kissing me with fervor. Our lips melded together in a way that only ours
could
. He kissed me until I saw stars behind my eyes before pulling away. Crushing me to his chest he held me there for what felt like hours, but in reality it was only a couple minutes. He kissed my forehead before taking a step back and lightly kicking the
paver with his sneaker
.
“I’m glad I got to see you before I left. I wanted to call you, but I just didn’t know what to say.”
“You’re leaving?” I asked, feeling my heart speed up.
“Yeah. We wrapped the album up earlier today
, so I’ll be heading back to LA in a couple days to deliver it to the label.”
“Oh.”
Was all I could say. I didn’t have a clue about any of this. I guess I’ve been a shittier friend than I thought lately.
“I just wanted to thank you for everything. You helped me find myself. So I guess I owe you, huh?”
“Yeah.” I mumbled. My brain wouldn’t slow down, no matter how hard I tried. Did Aubrey try telling me this and I just wasn’t paying attention? I had no idea. I hadn’t seen Blake since Thanksgiving over a month and a half ago, and I only came because Aubrey threatened to kidnap me if I didn’t show up. Blake seemed so indifferent and it literally fucking killed me.
I
wished he’d act like a caveman and put me out my misery. I wanted him to tell me what we had was real. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him, but he didn’t seem to feel the same way anymore. After that I stayed away and focused on helping Cole get better. I was getting good at starting over. I never wanted to runaway more than I did right now.