Absolution (The Protectors, Book 1) (16 page)

Mace

As hard as I was and as much as I wanted to take this next step with Cole and Jonas, the idea of bottoming terrified me because I’d only done it on a few occasions and it had either been a painful, humiliating experience or I’d been too drunk to care either way. I also knew that this would be Cole’s first time with another man but I wasn’t sure if he’d had anal sex with women. But Cole must have sensed my trepidation because as soon as we reached the bedroom after a quick stop in the kitchen to grab the lube and condoms he’d bought while he’d been out, Cole said, “Same rules apply to you…nothing happens that you don’t want.”

I nodded. “Just go slow because it’s been a while for me.”

Cole’s response was to kiss me long and slow and deep. “I can still taste him,” Cole whispered against my mouth and we both turned to eye Jonas who’d gotten stuck near the doorway. Cole shifted us so that Jonas could see everything we were doing and then his hands went to work just learning my body. I was still fully dressed but Cole was shirtless, so I took advantage and began exploring the rigid muscles of his abdomen. He had a slight smattering of chest hair that descended down his middle and disappeared into his pants which he’d left unzipped but had secured the button to keep them up. I rubbed my palm over his cock which was already starting to harden again but Cole grabbed my wrist and forced it and my other hand above my head. As soon as he was satisfied that I would leave them there, he reached for the hem of my shirt and pushed it up and off of me. His eyes fell on my tattoos and I realized he hadn’t seen them before then.

“Beautiful,” he muttered and then he was skimming his lips over my ink. My head fell back at the feel of his silky smooth tongue tasting me but I let out a moan when his fingers flicked my nipple piercing. When they grazed my other nipple he said, “I think you should get this one done too so Jonas and I can play at the same time.”

I heard Jonas suck in a breath at that and I settled my hand on the back of Cole’s head as his tongue laved my unpierced nipple. “I think he likes that idea,” I murmured as I maintained the eye contact with Jonas. He still hadn’t moved from the door but his eyes hadn’t left us even once. I hated whatever it was that held him back from us despite the longing in his gaze but I resisted the urge to ask him to join us.

“Does he?” Cole asked knowingly. I knew even as Cole stepped around me and put his hands on my waist what he was doing and I was more than happy to go along with it. He turned me so that I was facing Jonas and then stood behind me and began kissing the top of my shoulder as his hands reached around me to play with both of my nipples at the same time. The contact felt so good that I leaned my head back against Cole, exposing my neck in the process and his mouth instantly closed over my thrumming pulse. He continued to play with my unpierced nipple but let his other hand slowly glide down my chest and abdomen before dipping inside of my pants. I groaned as soon as he fisted my cock.

“Open your eyes, Mace,” Cole breathed into my ear. “See what you do to him.”

I did as Cole told me and sucked in a breath at the sight of Jonas playing with himself. His position mirrored mine only it was his own hands bringing him pleasure. Jonas watched everything that Cole did to me but I saw the instant something inside of him changed, because his eyes softened and his hands stilled. At first I thought we’d somehow pushed him too hard but when he stepped forward, I wanted to cry out in relief. There was no hesitation when he reached me. He simply pulled my head down for a kiss and then his hand was joining Cole’s in my pants. I cried out at the exquisite pleasure that rippled through me as they both played with me but it wasn’t enough.

Jonas released my mouth only to seek out Cole’s and I reveled in the sight of them loving each other over my shoulder. I didn’t know which one ended the kiss but Jonas’s next stop was my nipple – my pierced one - and he didn’t even play around. He just grabbed it between his teeth and gently tugged before biting down on me. The sting of pain amped up the pleasure and his soothing lick a second later just drove me higher.

“I’m not going to last,” I had to admit as both men continued to bathe my body with their blend of sensual torture. Jonas was the one who led me to the bed. He kissed me as his fingers worked my jeans open. I managed to kick off my shoes just before he pushed my pants and underwear down. But I nearly swallowed my tongue when he reached for his own clothes and began peeling them off. He was considerably leaner than me and Cole but had good muscle definition. I wanted to touch him to see if his skin was a smooth as it looked but I didn’t dare. I saw him hesitate when he reached for his pants but it only took a moment and then he was shoving them down along with his briefs. He stood in front of me, his earlier tension back but he held his ground.

“Would you touch me, Mace?” he asked.

They were the words I’d been waiting to hear but once he said them, a tremor of uncertainty went through me. What if I did something that scared him? What if I fucked up the only chance Cole and I had with him?

I felt Cole’s hands on my back again but they weren’t doing anything but resting there. He was giving me this moment…this first with Jonas.

I bent my head to kiss Jonas as I settled my hands on his neck. I used my fingers to rub gentle circles into his skin as I moved my hands slowly down his chest. I kept my exploration confined to his upper body and it didn’t take long for Jonas to respond and reciprocate. And then something seemed to switch inside him again because he became the aggressor. His mouth teased every muscle and plane on my chest as his fingers settled on my hip. I felt Cole’s hands moving again but it was to urge me to lie down on the bed. Jonas followed me down as did Cole and they took turns kissing me and exploring my chest. And in between, they tasted and pleasured each other. By the time Cole rolled me on my side so that I was face to face with Jonas, I was desperate for relief. When I accidentally shifted my hips so that my cock brushed Jonas’s, I stilled at his gasp but it only lasted a second because then Jonas was doing the exact same thing.

I was so focused on Jonas that I didn’t even feel Cole’s finger until it pressed against my entrance. I jerked at the contact and then slid my eyes shut as Cole began massaging the sensitive skin. The lube felt cold compared to how hot I felt everywhere else. My whole body was tense as I waited for Cole to push his finger inside of me but when he just continued to tease me, I began to relax and focus on Jonas who’d started playing with my piercing again. Cole’s lips settled at the back of my neck but it wasn’t enough and I turned my head and sought out his lips. As his tongue greeted mine, I felt his finger bear down on me and I automatically pushed back. The sting of his entry stole my breath for a moment but it shifted over to a wonderful burn that began to radiate throughout my entire ass and then my whole body.

“More,” I urged against Cole’s mouth. He obliged me and sank his finger all the way inside of me. My body adjusted quickly to the intrusion and when he pulled his finger back before plunging it back in, I was sure I was going to come before I got the part of Cole I really needed.

Cole teased me with a couple more twists and turns of a single finger before he added a second. I flinched at the bite of pain that accompanied the addition.

“Okay?” Cole asked. He’d stopped kissing me at some point but I was so wound up that it didn’t matter. Jonas was lying in my arms, his light eyes watching me intently. It was a heady feeling – being watched by these two men whose only concern was my pleasure.

I nodded. “Don’t stop, please,” I begged as the pain receded. Cole must have heard how close I was because he twisted his fingers in my body a few times before he withdrew them. I felt the head of his condom covered cock slip between my ass and bump up against my entrance and all the tension Cole had managed to work out of me came back. As his body began to breach mine, I felt Jonas’s fingers briefly ghost over my face. He didn’t need to say anything because it was written all over his face.

As my body fought to accept Cole’s cock, I felt his and Jonas’s hands clasped together on my outer thigh and I reveled in the feeling of completeness that went through me. My body finally gave up the fight once Cole pushed past my outer muscles and when he bottomed out inside of me, I felt tears sting my eyes. Cole didn’t move at all except to lever himself up enough so that he could lean over me and kiss me long and hard.

“So fucking perfect, Mace. It’s so fucking perfect.” He kissed me again and then he and Jonas were kissing. As Cole slowly withdrew from me, I dragged Jonas to me and sealed our mouths together. He took every grunt and groan I gave him as Cole began a steady pace of gliding in and out of my willing body. But when long fingers fisted around my cock, I nearly cried out in relief. I knew whose hand it was because I’d already memorized the nuances of each man’s touch.

“You don’t have to,” I said against Jonas’s mouth.

“I know,” was all Jonas said before he kissed me again. And then he shifted his hips forward and our cocks brushed as he held both of them at the same time. Jonas began thrusting his hips to match Cole’s rhythm and I moaned as they fucked me in nearly perfect unison. And I could do nothing but lie there as they shared my body and worked together to send me higher and higher. Cole’s fingers bit into my thigh as he began to hammer into me, and Jonas frantically began jerking us off. Sweat clung to my body as the orgasm began to build and roll over me in sweeping waves.

I was so close but I couldn’t speak – I couldn’t do anything to beg them to send me over. But Jonas heard me anyway because he bit gently down on my piercing and I felt it everywhere – my ass, my balls, my dick. A flood of sensation rocketed through me and I screamed as I was flung off the precipice. I felt Cole’s cock pulse inside of me and then he roared in my ear as his arm wrapped around my chest to hold me as close to him as he could. Jonas let out a ragged moan as my come shot all over both of us and then his release followed a moment later. He kept pumping our dicks together to draw out the orgasm before he gently released his hold on both of us.

The only thing I processed after that was Cole’s withdrawal from my body and Jonas’s gentle kisses on my neck and jaw. And then there was just blackness and my last conscious thought was that I had to find a way to make sure I never lost this second chance at perfection that I’d been given.

* * *

“You okay?” I heard Cole ask as he came out onto the porch. The sound of the screen door creaking seemed loud in the night air.

“Yeah,” I said and I wasn’t surprised when he came and sat down next to me on the porch swing. “Was thinking we should start taking turns taking watch.”

“Okay,” Cole said, though I could tell from the way he said it that he didn’t really believe me. His entire body pressed against mine and I both loved and feared how it settled the agitation rolling around inside of me.

“Jonas still asleep?” I asked, more to fill the silence than anything else since it was two o’clock in the morning and Jonas hadn’t stirred even once as I’d extricated him from my arms.

“Yeah,” Cole murmured. “Mace, I didn’t hurt you did I?”

I looked over at him. There was enough moonlight flooding the front yard for me to see his concerned expression.

“Are you kidding me?” I said with a laugh. “You fucking slayed me, Cole.”

I saw his whole body relax at that.

“If I hadn’t known better, I would have guessed you’d done that before.”

“I googled it,” Cole said.

“What?”

Cole chuckled. “While I was at home checking on my father, I googled a few things so I’d know what to expect.”

I couldn’t help but laugh and it felt so good that I leaned over to kiss Cole. “That must have been quite educational,” I said as I drew back.

“It was. I saw some things I don’t ever want to see again but a few things I think we definitely need to try.”

My laughter died in my throat as a whole host of images flashed through my brain. The things I wanted to do with my men…

Except they weren’t my men.

“Hey,” Cole said softly and I turned my focus back to him. “We’re going to figure this out.”

I shook my head and looked out over the moonlit yard. “You know what I am, Cole. What I’ve done. You’re saying you’re okay with that?”

Cole was silent for so long that I was tempted to get up and leave so I wouldn’t have to endure his unspoken answer.

“A few weeks ago, I would have said no. I would have made the argument that we have laws and rules for a reason. But when I think about what those men did to my sister, to Jonas, what they’re still doing…they’re no better than the terrorists who steal countless innocent lives in the name of a religion they’ve distorted and twisted to meet their own needs.”

I felt Cole’s eyes on me. “We’re not so different, Mace. The things I’ve done may have been sanctioned by our government but I’ve still killed to protect the innocent…to get justice for the fallen.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.

“Why are you really out here?” Cole asked softly.

I drew in a deep breath. “Because I’m fucking terrified that the more time I spend with you and Jonas, the harder it’s going to be when I lose you.”

I knew what Cole was about to say so I cut him off. “Don’t tell me I’m not going to lose you, Cole. Because I wasn’t supposed to lose Evan either. I wasn’t supposed to shit all over my marriage by cheating on my wife more times than I can count, and I sure as hell wasn’t supposed to beat up my own father because he tried to take my car keys away when I was too drunk to drive!”