A White Coat Is My Closet (40 page)

I kissed him once more on the cheek. “The likelihood of you making an unfavorable impression is zero.” I kissed him again. “I’d say that means the odds are pretty much in your favor. Don’t worry about it.”

I turned and was reaching for the door handle when Sergio gently caught my arm. He looked a little self-conscious as he said, “Speaking of being pushed over the cliff, before we head up the mountain, there’s something I’ve wanted to ask you.”

Rather than opening the door, I turned back to him. “What’s up?”

“This is going to sound like a funny request.” A little color crept into his cheeks as if he was embarrassed, but he maintained my gaze. “You remember when I told you last week that the owner of the restaurant asked me to be a shift manager?” I nodded. “Well, as a part of the promotion, I have the opportunity to get medical insurance.”

“And?” I nudged him to continue.

“I was filling out the forms last night, and one of the questions was who I would authorize to make medical decisions on my behalf in the event I was unable to. In fact, they provided the paperwork to designate someone as a medical power of attorney.” Then, rather than continuing to speak, Sergio looked out the front windshield as if something had suddenly grabbed his attention.

I nudged his shoulder again. “So?”

“So,” he said as he turned to me, “I was wondering if I could put your name down?” He blushed again. “Don’t worry. This isn’t like a marriage proposal or anything, but I figure you’re better qualified than anyone else. Think about it. For the past four months, we’ve been spending most of our time together, and you’re a doctor, so you would understand all the medical stuff. Also, even if I considered putting my sister’s name down, she’s out of the country so much they’d probably never be able to find her.” He smiled warmly. “I figure my life is the safest in your hands.”

A momentary silence fell between us as we just looked at each other. Sergio must have assumed his request made me feel uncomfortable because he suddenly averted his gaze and shrugged casually. “Don’t sweat it if you think that’s kind of a weird thing to ask. Truthfully, I’m cool leaving the whole thing blank. I don’t even have to fill that part out.”

I responded by pulling him into a tight hug. For a second, my heart was so consumed by such an overwhelming feeling of warmth it was impossible to speak. Not only was I flattered he’d entrust me with such a significant decision, but it confirmed for me that I was becoming a particularly important part of his life. I kissed him affectionately on the lips. “It would be an honor.” Then I pushed back to look directly at him. “But for the record, don’t get too close to that cliff. I like having all of you in one piece.” I playfully dropped my hand and squeezed his crotch.

He moved his mouth to the side of my head and nibbled on my ear before he softly whispered. “Don’t worry. I intend to be around for a long time. In fact, if something does happen to me, don’t call a mortician. Call a taxidermist. You’d be stuck with me forever.”

I pushed him towards his side of the car. “Forever’s good. But only if you’re breathing.”

W
E
GOT
out of the car, gave each other one more affectionate kiss, then walked up to the main entry, and I pushed Declan’s code into the buttons on the intercom. After a single ring, his voice came booming through the speaker. “We’re headed down. You guys good to drive, or should I get my car out of the garage?”

“We’re good. My backseat is empty. I can seat four comfortably. Meet us on the sidewalk.”

Two minutes later, Declan and John came bounding through the door. John was wearing clothes similar to mine, but both he and Declan were wearing cowboy boots. In addition, Declan was wearing a long-sleeved button-down denim shirt and a cowboy hat. Earlier in the afternoon, I hadn’t given my attire any real consideration. Now I really was embarrassed about my tennis shoes. I lifted one of my feet and compared it to everyone else’s. “Guess these make me odd man out. What’s up with the cowboy hat, Dec? Were you the Lone Ranger for Halloween?”

He pretended not to see me and intentionally pushed right past me. “Don’t be a hater, Zack, just because you came to a horseback ride dressed like a prep school boy.” He thrust his hand into Sergio’s. “You must be Sergio. I’m really pleased to meet you. We’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Declan, and this is John.” He released Sergio’s hand, and John offered his. “We should have warned you. Whoever rides with Zack is responsible for dressing him. It’s just like him to confuse a trail ride with a sorority party.” Declan broke out into a huge grin, and we all started laughing.

I looked at Sergio. “I guess the ice is officially broken.”

Declan and John piled into the backseat, and we were on our way. No sooner had the doors closed they began peppering Sergio with questions: “How long have you been in the United States? How do you like Los Angeles? How can you possibly tolerate Zack?”

As I anticipated, Sergio maintained his incredibly charming demeanor. In fact, even when they asked many of the same questions I had asked him when we initially met, rather than giving even the slightest hint of being perturbed, Sergio answered them enthusiastically and with an impressive display of humor. At one point, when one of his responses was particularly high-spirited, I couldn’t resist punching him in the arm. “How come when I asked you that same question the day I met you at the pool, you growled at me?”

He looked at me with a cockeyed grin. “I was playing hard to get.”

I shook my head. “If you had played any harder, I would have given up trying to talk to you and just gone back to swimming laps.”

“Wouldn’t have mattered. I saw the way you swam. I would have had to jump in to rescue you anyway.”

“Rescue me?” Unintentionally, his reply caused me to immediately remember our conversation from earlier that afternoon and the sexual foray that it led to. “Would that have been the same rescue technique we practiced a few hours ago?” I smiled. “Wish I had known. That would have been worth drowning for.” I gave him a seductive wink.

Declan made a face I could see in the rearview mirror. “Hello! Innocent passengers on board. I’m not sure what kind of rescue technique you guys are discussing, but I suspect if it had been demonstrated at the gym pool, you would have been arrested for lewd conduct. Now, can we change the subject? I’m in the backseat and don’t want to get carsick.”

And so the adventure began. The horseback ride over the mountain was a complete blast. Twenty-four people had made reservations, and we were broken into two groups of twelve. Our group was comprised mostly of people our age, and on such a festive occasion, everyone quickly became friends. Though all the people we rode with were more or less comfortable on the back of a horse, there were no real equestrians in our group, so the situation lent itself to a lot of good-natured teasing from the very beginning. One couple, who had only been married for a little over a month, was especially fun. They both had wicked senses of humor, and it became immediately apparent they thoroughly enjoyed teasing one another. Fortunately, their jabs were neither malicious nor insulting, and because many of their comments were entirely self-deprecating, it was impossible to be offended by anything they said. Their irreverence set the tone for the group, and soon everyone was laughing at each other. Of course, the four of us were well practiced in throwing witty barbs, so even though Sergio had only just met John and Declan, they were soon interacting like lifelong friends.

We arrived at the restaurant a little past seven thirty and were told we had an hour to eat. Eight tables had been reserved for the two groups of riders, so the four of us took one together. We ordered burritos and tacos off the menu, and shortly thereafter the first pitcher of margaritas was put down in front of us. After an hour and a half of riding horses and eating dust, we were incredibly thirsty. The first pitcher disappeared before the food even arrived, and the second pitcher was flowing freely soon thereafter.

Consuming alcohol on an empty stomach is never a good idea. The margaritas went right to our heads. They caused the hilarity of every comment to be amplified by a factor of ten. We were laughing at jokes before they were even told. At one point, we began talking about classic television shows. When the topic of our favorite
I Love Lucy
episode came up, Sergio launched into his impersonation of Lucy selling “Vitameatavegamin.” Between his Italian accent and his inability to pour water into his spoon, we were rolling. Tears were streaming down our cheeks from laughing. Equally funny was the fact that Sergio couldn’t successfully get beyond the famous “Hello, friends. Do you poop out at parties?” line without going into hysterics himself. Forget saying “vitameatavegamin.” By the second attempt, he wasn’t even able to say his own name without either stumbling or laughing.

By the time we finished dinner, I had serious doubts as to whether I would be able to get back onto my horse. The only thing that enabled me to do so was the fact that the horse was my only transportation home. It was either ride or spend the night on the restaurant porch. With both formidable effort and concentration, I put my foot in the stirrup, threw my leg over the horse, and planted my ass in the saddle. I was grateful all I had to do was point the horse in the right direction and he would follow the leader.

After an hour, we were back on the top of the mountain. Sixty minutes of being jostled back and forth on a hard leather surface had done wonders to sober us up. It was fortunate, though, because from the trail skirting the mountain peak, the view of the city was spectacular. Through the cloudless sky, we were able to see from downtown to the silhouette of Century City and beyond. Someone even commented that the faint light visible in the distant west was from the lighthouse on Catalina Island. My recollection was that Catalina only had a bell tower in its yacht club, but I appreciated the view anyway.

When we arrived back at the stable, we were all beat. A heavy meal, a ton of tequila, and having a saddle ride up your ass for an entire evening was the recipe for utter exhaustion. When we finally dismounted, we walked painfully back to the car, bowlegged. Though there continued to be a fair amount of snickering and reminiscing about our adventure, the energy on the car ride home was relatively subdued. We were all about ready to fall asleep.

I pulled up to the curve in front of Declan’s apartment, and Sergio and I both got out of the car to say good-bye to Declan and John. Because Declan had gotten out on the passenger’s side of the car, he hugged Sergio before me. He whispered something into Sergio’s ear, and they both laughed. Then he came over to me and wrapped me in a tight embrace. He whispered in a voice only loud enough for me to hear, “Okay, I forgive you. If I had the opportunity to date a guy like Sergio, I wouldn’t call you for three weeks either. Hold on to that one. He’s a keeper.” Then he drew back and punched me in the arm. “That doesn’t mean, however, that I’m letting you out of your promise. As soon as you head out of the hospital tomorrow, you have to call me. I don’t care if your ass is hungover; we’re still meeting at the gym to work out.”

I hugged him again. “You got it, Dec.” Then I too whispered in a conspiratorial soft voice. “I really do hope things between me and Sergio work out, but either way, as far as best friends go, it’s you and me forever.” Then I pushed back and punched him in the arm. “And as far as the gym goes tomorrow, I’ll bet you dinner that your ass is going to be dragging more than mine. Between medical school and residency, I’ve got sleep deprivation down to a science. I’ll be as fresh as a flower.”

Declan started walking up to the entry of his building. “Dude, once again, you’ve confused a flower with a stink weed. Either way, though, I’ll see you tomorrow. And as for you, Sergio, remember what I told you: drop him like a bad habit; you’re way out of his league.” He winked at both of us but spoke directly to Sergio. “Careful, though. If you break his heart, John and I will personally hunt you down and kick your ass. Consider yourself warned.” Everyone broke into tired grins, and Sergio threw his arm around my shoulder and kissed me on the cheek.

“Don’t worry, tough guys. Zack is in good hands. I intend to take good care of him for a long time.”

I again felt light-headed. I was either falling in love, or the night air suddenly held considerably less oxygen.

S
ERGIO
and I didn’t get back to my apartment until after midnight. I dropped an Alka-Seltzer into a full liter of water, downed four Advil, took some vitamin C, brushed my teeth, set the alarm for six o’clock, and the two of us went immediately to bed. I don’t think I even moved the entire night. I woke up four minutes before the alarm went off and was able to wipe a little pool of my drool off Sergio’s shoulder while he was still zonked.

I turned off the alarm before it sounded, slipped out of bed, and crept noiselessly into the bathroom to take a shower. When I finished, I came back to find Sergio sitting on the side of the bed, cradling his head in his hands. Without looking up at me, he whispered in a dry crackly voice, “I’m not sure which hurts more, my head or my ass.” He looked up at me but continued to keep one eye squeezed closed. “I guess my head. My ass only hurts when I try to move. My head throbs either way.”