A Walk in Heaven (27 page)

“That’s what I thought, too.” He stroked her cheek. “But just because we discovered this wasn’t Luther, doesn’t mean we have given up our search to find him.”

“So
your
Pa and brothers know?”

“Yes, I told them. Ma, however, doesn’t know. We all agreed to keep this information from her at this time.”

She cuddled her face against his palm. “Again, thank you for your help.”

Reluctantly, he pulled away. Showing his feelings for her here in the house where anyone could walk by and see was not a good thing to do.

The next two days kept Joshua busy on the ranch, which helped his frustration. Whenever he talked to
Careen
anymore, he wanted to hold and kiss her. He detected the same longing in her gaze, as well.

The night of Laura’s charity ball was upon them. Joshua really didn’t want to attend, but his mother insisted the family go. And it seemed Ma always had the last word. Betsy stayed with the twins so his mother could come.

Many people gathered in the mayor’s large house for the event, and a proud Laura was the perfect hostess. The glittery red gown she wore made her pink cheeks stand out, but she appeared quite lovely tonight. Yet, she still couldn’t hold a candle to Careen.

He shifted his stare to his sister-in-law. Although he shouldn’t, he couldn’t stop admiring her beauty. The material of the black gown she wore tonight shimmered in the chandelier light. The bell-shaped sleeves and square neck were modest enough, but showed her womanly curves more than he thought should be emphasized. Her hair was up in a bun, but not the tight wad she’d worn lately. Instead, loose curls fell over her forehead, around her ears, and along her neck.

It would be extremely difficult tonight not to imagine her in his arms while they danced. He worried that others would see the gleam in his eyes as his gaze followed her around the room. The kiss they’d shared in the stable had literally taken his breath away. Yearning had pumped through him harder than it ever had before that night. Kissing her had been mesmerizing –
a dream come
true. If not for the fire, he may have asked her to marry him then and there.

He’d done nothing but think about their special moments in the stable. She had wanted to protect him when she thought her cousin was in there. She’d purposely tried to shield him with her body for fear her cousin would try and shoot Joshua.
What a woman.

Thankfully, the fire had kept him from going against the rules of mourning.

People filled the rooms nearly to capacity, making it impossible to walk without bumping into someone. In the mayor’s ballroom, couples danced merrily. It did Joshua’s heart good to see his parents out there, smiling at each other while his father whirled his mother around the floor. Joshua hoped he’d find the same happiness between husband and wife.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Peter moseyed up to Careen. Peter joked with her, which made her laugh. Joshua’s heart twisted as jealousy consumed him again. Her eyes lit up when she conversed with his brother. A small part of Joshua wondered if she had feelings for Peter, but remembering the way she kissed him the other night chased those doubts away.

Someone bumped into his arm, and he took his attention off Careen to look at the person beside him. Natalie stood with Laura, smiling.

“I’m so glad to see you here,” Natalie said.

“Thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here.” He switched his gaze to Laura. “Your ball is a success, I think.”

“Indeed it is. I’m thrilled to have so many people come.” She maneuvered closer to him. “But I was hoping you would ask me for a dance.”

He nearly choked on his own saliva. Laura usually wasn’t forward like that. Perhaps Natalie’s personality was rubbing off on the mayor’s shy daughter. He really didn’t want to dance with anyone but Careen, but since that was impossible, he might as well keep busy so the night would pass quickly.

“I’d be delighted.” He offered his arm, which she took.

The music ended and the fiddles started up a new tune. As he led her to the dance floor, Careen was accosted by a few more men who wanted her attention. Peter’s sour expression let Joshua know his brother didn’t approve of the other men, either. He gritted his teeth, holding back the jealous words he felt like spouting.

As Joshua danced with Laura, he noticed she was definitely more forward than normal. How odd. Nonetheless, he laughed with her and bantered back and forth while their feet moved in time to the music.

After the dance was over, he escorted Laura back,
then
asked Natalie for the next dance. He couldn’t very well ask one and not the other. Natalie came willingly with him back to the circle of dancers as another tune began playing. He whirled her around a few times to the toe-tapping music.

“Joshua?”

“Yes.”

“Did you ever find that man my pa told you
was
asking about Matthew not too long ago?”

“No, I didn’t. Why?”

“Well, he came in the store again yesterday. I helped him.”

Anger shot through Joshua – as well as panic. “What did he say? Did he know about Matthew’s death?”

She nodded. “He must have because he asked about Matthew’s widow.”

Fear tightened his chest, making him slow his steps. “What exactly did he say?”

“He asked if I knew where Matthew Grayson’s family lived, and if his widow was staying there.”

“By chance, did this man give his name?”

“No, but he was certainly a southern gentleman. His accent wasn’t as strong as
Careen’s
, but he dressed very well and had explicit manners.”

Joshua forced himself to smile so he wouldn’t alarm Natalie to his fears. “So did you tell him where the Grayson family lived?”

“Of course.”
She narrowed her gaze. “Should I not have told him?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Any friend of Careen’s is a friend of ours. I just wished he would have given his name so we could tell Careen.”

Natalie shrugged. “He didn’t offer his name, and unfortunately, I didn’t ask. The store was busy with customers.”

“That’s understandable.” He glanced around the room to find Careen, who was still standing with a flock of male admirers. “Can you tell me what this man looks like? In case I run into him?”

“He’s nearly as tall as you, but not wide through the shoulders like you are. He’s more bulky around the middle too. His hair is a sandy color and was slicked back away from his face. He also had a mustache.”

“Was he old or younger?”

“He was probably a little older than you, I’d figure.”

“Thank you, Natalie. You’ve been great help.”

Joshua didn’t say much as he finished the dance. He walked her back to Laura,
then
excused himself. As he wandered through the room, he searched for Careen who had somehow disappeared. He didn’t want to worry her that her cousin may be in town, but he wanted to suggest she stay near his family at all times. That would be the only way they could protect her.

Weaving his way through the crowd, he searched for Careen. Panic settled in his chest when he couldn’t find her, especially when he saw Peter, and yet Careen wasn’t by his side.

Joshua squeezed through a circle of people to get to his brother’s side who stood chatting with a few ladies. “Excuse me ladies, I need to talk to my brother for a moment.”

After they moved away, Peter scowled. “Why did you do that? Couldn’t you see they were flirting with me?”

“Please forgive me, but I’m trying to find Careen. Have you seen her?”

Peter shook his head. “The last time I saw her she was talking with Ralph Sheffield.” He shrugged. “I know Pastor Adams was looking for her as well earlier. Is she with him?”

“No.”

“Maybe she’s gone to find Ma.”

“Yes, that’s probably where she is.” Joshua turned, and went in search of his mother, but the more he searched for Careen, the more unease washed over him. He couldn’t let Luther take her. Joshua would do anything to keep that from happening.

“Joshua!”

He turned to find the person calling his name. Natalie waved from the back of the room as she made her way toward him. He pushed past people to get to her. When they met in the middle she grasped his arm.

“I just thought I’d let you know he’s here.”

“Who is here?”

“That man – the one who was asking about Matthew and Careen yesterday.”

Fear as cold as ice claimed Joshua’s heart. “The man is here at the party?”

“Yes, I just saw him. Quickly, go find him. He just walked out the front door.”

Joshua elbowed past people, apologizing for being so rough. On his way to the door, he ran into his father and Gage. He grabbed their arms and pulled them with him.

“What’s going on, son?”

Joshua reached the door, flung it open, and stepped out on the porch. “I think Luther is here,” he said, breathlessly.

“Where?”
Gage shouted
,
rushing into the yard as his head moved from one end to the other.

“Natalie said he was here, but just left.”

“Tell us what he looks like.”

Joshua quickly described him, using the same details Natalie had given. From up the drive, a one-horse buggy rode off. “There he is!”

“I’ll fetch our buggy,” Gage said, starting into a run.

“Son, find Careen and take her home. Now! Get her as far away from this maniac as possible.”
   

Careen inhaled the fresh night air, grateful to have been lucky enough to slip away without anyone seeing. The stuffy room nearly suffocated her, and she feared if she talked about the weather to one more man spewing with sweet words, she’d scream.

She couldn’t believe how many people treated her like a friend when they didn’t even know her that well. Laura and Natalie had treated her like a sister,
which
surprised Careen, and since she’d never had a sister, she welcomed the feeling. It would be hard to leave this town behind in a couple days, but it’s something she must do.

As she wandered around the mayor’s house, she admired the manicured shrubbery, and the flower garden reminded her of her own mother’s garden before the war. Careen didn’t know if the war had completely ruined their plantation and house in Charleston, but she suspected it had. After all, thanks to the Yankees, most of Charleston had been destroyed. So if the family’s plantation was useless, why was Luther so determined to marry her for the inheritance?

A few couples
strolled
the lantern-lit walkway in the back. The half-moon and still night made for a lovely evening. She wished Joshua was out here to enjoy this with her.

Sighing deeply, she frowned. The kiss they’d shared just before the fire had been wonderful. Perfect. It made her want more. It made her want a different life with him.

Careen wondered if the passion she and Joshua shared that night had frightened him in some way. She had expected him to act differently the next day, but he still did all he could to avoid her.
Even tonight.
She rode in the two-seat buggy beside Peter with his parents sitting in the front, while Joshua and Gage rode in the one-seat buggy. Joshua didn’t try to help her down, but Peter took over that responsibility. Then inside the party, Joshua hadn’t stood by her side to talk to her, but instead danced with both Laura and Natalie. Every time Careen looked his way, he had his attention elsewhere.

Once again, he acted like the kiss had not meant anything to him as it had for Careen. And once again, she realized he still had not forgiven her.

Down the lantern-lit pathway sat a gazebo underneath a large oak tree in the shadows. As much as she wanted to sit in there for a while, just to be alone, she didn’t dare. Being alone anywhere wasn’t a good thing. Not yet. Besides, no other couples and ventured so far from the house, so she must not, either.

As she turned to head back to the house, she noticed Joshua moving quickly along the walkway, his gaze darting from one person to another. Her heart quickened in excitement, then dropped in fear. By now, she recognized his panicked expression. Something was dreadfully wrong.

She hurried toward him. When he saw her, relief washed over his face, but his determination to get to her still worried Careen. He reached her side and took hold of her hands.

“We need to get you home.”

Her heart sank. “Why?”

He took her by the elbow and practically dragged her toward the back of the house where the buggies were being tended.

“Joshua, please,
tell
me what’s wrong.”

“I believe Luther is in town trying to find you. In fact, I think he was
here
tonight.”

Panic settled in her limbs, forcing her legs to hurry faster as she kept up with him. “No, no… It can’t be happening this soon.” She clutched his sleeve. “What makes you think he’s here?”

“Last Sunday when I had a picnic with Natalie, her father told me some man had come into the store asking about Matthew’s widow. Then this evening when I danced with Natalie, she said yesterday that the man came back into the store asking the same questions.”

Fear shook through her body. “And you honestly believe
it’s
Luther?”

“Who else could it be? Everyone in town knows where Matthew Grayson lived, and everyone knows his widow is staying with us. So when a stranger comes into town asking these specific questions, I don’t know what else to think. Not only that, but Natalie told me a few minutes ago that she saw him
here.
”

“Oh, Joshua.”
Her breaths grew rapid, causing her chest to ache. Running didn’t help, either. “I have to leave.”

He nodded. “That’s why I’m taking you home. Pa and Gage are following the man we think is Luther. We’ll be going the opposite direction, so I’m confident Luther doesn’t know.” He slipped his arm around her, protectively.

She clung to him, needing his protection. The fear in his voice made her worry, though. As much as she wanted the
Graysons
to protect her, she was putting them in danger by remaining here. Leaving Montana was now something that needed to be done.
Immediately.

They stopped when they reached the buggy. Strong hands cupped her face and lifted it to his.

“Careen, I promise nothing will happen to you. I will keep you away from your cousin. He’ll not win this time!”

Emotion chocked her, keeping her from saying anything as she stared into his handsome, caring face. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe Joshua, she just
knew
there wasn’t a thing Joshua could do if Luther was in control.

Joshua bent his head and captured her lips with his in a tender kiss. It wasn’t the kind he’d given her the other night, but this one still made her head spin and her heart hammer. She loved him and would always love him. And she loved him enough to want him alive, which was why she must leave.

Breaking the kiss, he held her tight for a brief moment before pulling away and helping her into the buggy. Before climbing in, he walked to the driver’s side and fumbled with a small latch on the vehicle.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

Joshua pulled out a pistol from the secret compartment. Knowing he had a weapon made her feel much more protected.

He climbed inside and urged the horse into a fast trot. “Several years ago, my father installed these compartments in all of the vehicles.” He laid the pistol against his hip and the wall of the buggy.

“What a brilliant idea.”

Silence filled the air, except for the snorts from the horse and the clip-clop of his hooves. The buggy’s wheels crunched on the road as well, but she feared her deep, worried breaths would soon override all of the other sounds.

A chill rushed through her, and she gathered her cloak tighter around her neck. Joshua glanced her way, then slipped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. She cuddled against him, relishing his warmth.

“I’m certain Pa and Gage will capture your cousin tonight. We all saw him riding as if the devil was nipping his heels, but Pa and Gage will catch him. I’m grateful Natalie said something.”

“As am I.”

He rubbed her arm. “I want you away from your evil cousin, and I’ll do everything necessary to protect you.”

She placed her hand on his chest and looked up into his face. Why couldn’t she believe him? He spoke with such conviction, yet she still had doubts. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

They rode a little further in silence,
then
Joshua leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Careen, I wish I could convince you that you’ll be safe at the Grayson Ranch.”

She lifted her gaze to his. “It’s not that I don’t trust you or your brothers and father, but I know my cousin.”

“There’s one thing you’re forgetting, sweetheart. We are all prepared for Luther. He’s not going to want to take all of us on.”

She shook her head. “My cousin was stupid enough to shoot Matthew in the middle of town with several people mulling about. He doesn’t have any scruples, so what makes you think he won’t try to take on all of Matthew’s brothers?”

He glanced around them, and her eyes followed. They were far enough away from town, without a single soul in sight. He slowed the horse until it came to a stop then turned and grasped her shoulders.

“The difference between Matthew and what’s happening now is that my brother was
not
prepared for your cousin. He didn’t know Luther wanted to kill him. If my brother had known, he would have prepared himself. He would have been more cautious.” Joshua kissed her forehead. “Sweetheart, we
are
prepared. We will all be watching for your cousin and will be ready for anything.” He stared into her eyes. “Luther will
not
kill another Grayson. I won’t allow it.”

She wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t go through seeing another man she wanted to love, cherish, and spend the rest of her life with – die in front of her eyes.

* * * *

Joshua ran his thumbs under her moist eyes, drying her tears. The need to protect her was strong, as if he
knew
it was his calling in life. Something in the back of his mind told him he didn’t want that kind of responsibility, yet he couldn’t shake away the achy feeling growing in his heart.

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her to marry him, but suddenly, hurtful memories of when his wife had lied to him – then took her own life – throbbed through his heart. He’d forgiven Careen for lying to him…so why couldn’t he forget?

Silently, he cursed Emma for ruining him. It had been two years since she entered the lake, knowing she couldn’t swim, and he still couldn’t get over the lies she’d told him about her family being insane…how
she
had the disease and couldn’t bear having their children seeing her in such shambles.

Now, when Joshua wanted to give his heart to another woman, he couldn’t bring himself to trust her not to hurt him. And here all this time, he’d thought he held back because of the mourning period. Now he realized
he
was the one who needed to change. Not her.

Careen smiled with trembling lips and cupped his face. “Joshua, you are such a good man. How can I not trust your word?”

“Are you just saying that to keep me quiet?”

She laughed as more tears sprang to her eyes. “Do you know how much I want a normal life? For years I’ve prayed that someday the Lord would bless me in such a way. But it’s so hard to believe it will happen after all this time.
Especially now.”
She shook her head. “My cousin has always been my biggest fear, and over the years he’s gotten worse. He’s the devil’s own child, I know it.”

Joshua pulled her against him where she belonged and kissed her head again. “Oh, Careen. Have faith. God won’t let you down.” He relaxed in the seat, but urged the horses forward, clasping the reins with one hand. She clung to his jacket as if he were her lifeline. Truth be known, he really enjoyed when she did this. It made him feel more like a man than roping and branding cattle. Soon her body relaxed and her breaths were slower. Smiling, he rubbed her back, enjoying the closeness.

“Joshua?”

“Yes.”

“Were you enjoying yourself at Laura’s party?”

“Not at all.”

“It didn’t appear that way to me, especially when you danced with Natalie and Laura.”

He chuckled. “Then I put on a good show, don’t I?”

She pulled away enough to peer into his face. “You didn’t enjoy dancing with them?”

“No.”

“May I ask why?”

He grinned and stroked her cheek. “Because I’ve had a better dance
partner,
and I couldn’t help but compare them to her.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “I’d forgotten about your wife.”

Confused for a moment, he rolled her comment in his head until he realized what she was referring to. Then he laughed.
“No, sweetheart.
Emma and I never danced together. Not even on our wedding day.”