A Walk in Heaven (12 page)

Oh good heavens! She recognized this emotion. She was…attracted to him! Under no circumstances could she let that happen.

Inhaling deeply, she breathed in his scent of leather and spice. He smelled good, and she had the sudden urge to bury her nose in the curve of his neck and take in his scent.

She dropped her attention to his mouth. Instead of the thin line of irritation she was used to
seeing,
his lips were relaxed and parted slightly. The improper thought of kissing him crept inside of her, awakening all of her senses.

Unwanted memories of when he held and comforted her in Matthew’s room snuck upon her. Joshua was strong, and oh, so very masculine. Although she still seemed to upset him, at this moment, it didn’t matter.
Images of her lips rubbing against his flashed through her mind, turning her insides to warm honey.

Her body swayed toward his, but suddenly, his face hardened and he pushed away from her. It was as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown on her face, chilling her completely. What in heavens name had she been thinking? Definitely something she must never think again!

Joshua raked his finger through his hair and glanced down at his boots. “Careen, forgive me for saying what I did. If you want to go on the cattle drive, I won’t try to stop you. However, I strongly suggest you ask my mother to go with you. It isn’t good for a young widow, such as
yourself
, to be with single men that long without another woman present. Good night.”

He turned quickly and slammed back into the house, leaving her standing in the shadows alone. Yet now she had the memory of his smile, his laugh, and his knee-melting scent to keep her company tonight. None of which were a blessing.

Luther leaned against the telegraph office as he waited to hear from his contact. Eyes darted up and down the street as he scanned for anyone scrutinizing him as if he didn’t belong. He pulled the Stetson forward on his forehead, trying to hide his identity.

Leaving Pierre had been tricky. Not only did he have to hide in the worst smelling spots imaginable, he had to walk around dressed like an every-day cowboy. Luckily, he fit well with the rest of the town. It didn’t take him long before he escaped that town and hurried as fast as he could to the next…and the next…and the next.

He couldn’t remember all the names of the towns he passed through, but he’d been holed at Elm Springs for two days waiting to hear from his contact in Charleston. As soon as he received the telegraph, he’d leave on the next train out of this god-forsaken hole.

He didn’t dare get his hopes up, only because lately nothing had been going according to his plans. Irritation grew inside him like a weed. This was unacceptable! Luther
always
got his way. He
always
made it happen. After all, he hadn’t become powerful by sitting by and waiting for others.

Biding his time gnawed on his nerves. He balled his hands into fists. If he didn’t receive some good news soon, he’d have to release his frustration on something – or someone. His sneaky cousin needed to be caught and brought back to Iowa soon! He didn’t want anyone else. Careen had always been the woman he wanted, he wouldn’t settle for anything less.

“Mr. Kennedy?”

Luther jumped away from the wall and aimed his gaze on the man sitting behind the window. “Yes.”

The balding clerk adjusted his string tie and held out a piece of paper. The small room he occupied hummed with the constant tick of the machine. “The telegraph you have been waiting for finally arrived.”

Luther yanked the paper away. Finally!
If he had to wait another day…
No, he couldn’t think that way. He would
not
wait another day!

Contact in Ireland is impatient. STOP
Wants
to finish deal soon. STOP Advise next course of action. STOP

Anger throbbed in his head and moved throughout his body. He could not make the Ireland unhappy. But Luther needed to put him off, at the same time, ease his mind.

Using his fingernail, he picked the food out of his teeth. If he could continue to dodge the posse who were looking for him, he’d get to Virginia City within a few days. Snatching her would be easy. He’d threaten to shoot another Grayson and his sweet cousin would come with him to save the Grayson’s lives. Time was of the essence, and as each day slipped by, so did the deal with the Ireland bloke.

Crumbling the telegraph, he mentally mapped out his schedule. It would take four, maybe five days to get to Virginia City, no more than a day to find her, then less than two weeks before they could make it back to Iowa to be married. With any luck, he’d make it just in time.

The men in Charleston would be livid to think Luther had waited this long, but there was no other choice. He needed money for the shipment from Ireland, and without Careen’s inheritance, Luther couldn’t purchase the supplies needed.

He turned back to the man in the telegraph office, and leaned on the windowsill as he poked his head inside the shack-size structure.

“Can I help you sir,” the man inside asked.

“I need to send a message to Charleston, South Carolina,” he grumbled. His men needed to know Luther’s whereabouts before everything fell through.

Trip delayed. STOP
Will
arrive in a couple of weeks. STOP Let Ireland
know
the delivery will continue as promised. STOP

Luther grinned, rubbing his palms together. Within thirty days, everything would be in place. And if Careen didn’t obey him like a good wife, he’d see she was sent to heaven like her dearly departed Matthew Grayson.

* * * *

Joshua kicked his heels into the horse’s belly, urging the animal faster toward the church. The morning sun was awake as were the rest of his family who trailed behind in the wagon, but Joshua didn’t get a wink of sleep. Images of Careen filled his head every time he closed his eyes.

Since the time on the porch, he’d not been able to focus. Try as he might, he couldn’t avoid that woman. If he wasn’t staring at her during the day, he dreamed about her when he closed his eyes at night.

When Joshua and his brother were younger, Matthew’s eye was turned easily when a pretty girl walked by, but for some reason, those girls had only wanted to capture Joshua’s attention. He figured it was because he was the eldest, but whatever the reason, this had always caused arguments between the two brothers.

It worried Joshua that when he’d spoken to
Careen
on the porch, he’d detected a different attitude about her. Even the way her gaze skimmed over him was different than it’d been before. He knew that certain gleam in a woman’s eyes when she was interested, and she had gazed that way at him for a brief moment – long enough to worry him. He didn’t want one of Matthew’s girlfriends. Joshua had never wanted them.

Yet Careen wasn’t just another girl. She was Matthew’s bride…widow. Matthew wasn’t here to accuse Joshua of trying to steal his ladylove. And Joshua certainly couldn’t tell his brother he had no intention of wanting this one.

Unfortunately, his brain wouldn’t work properly because he couldn’t stop thinking about how pretty she’d been that night on the porch. He enjoyed her stubborn banter about the cattle drive. And the way her gaze darkened when she studied his face made his heart soften. For the first time in a long time, he actually enjoyed the way a woman stared at him as if he were a piece of artwork.
Heaven help me!

Joshua glanced over his shoulder at the wagon. His father held the reins as his mother sat beside him talking, her happy face energized with a smile. In the back of the wagon, Careen sat with the twins. Jessica perched on her aunt’s lap while the three of them played a game of patty-cake. When Frances missed patting a hand, they laughed with merriment.

Joshua’s daughters’ joyous voices brought a smile to his face. It’d been too long since he’d seen them like this. Frances leaned over and hugged Careen, then Jessica followed suit. The happiness on Careen’s face pulled at his heart. Then she laughed and started tickling the girls, which made them laugh harder.

Confusion swam in his head. Was it wrong to blame Careen for enticing Matthew to meet her in South Dakota? Yet Joshua couldn’t help the way he felt. And no matter how much he wanted to dislike her, he found himself watching her too much…and smiling.
Especially when she played with his daughters.

He pushed his horse faster, reaching the church before the rest of the family, so he tied his horse and moseyed inside. Mrs. Baker played the expensive organ his family had helped buy. The beautiful music rang through the church and brought peace to his heart.

Joshua selected his normal pew and waited for the family. Slowly, other church members arrived, and he greeted them with a smile and polite nod. Laura
Checketts
, the mayor’s daughter who Joshua had known since school, arrived with another woman about her age. The stranger was quite lovely. Joshua knew he wouldn’t be the only single man wondering who this woman was in their midst.

Laura saw him and smiled, then sashayed his way. For years, he’d known the girl was sweet on him, but he could never bring himself to have strong feelings for her. Several times during their adult years, he overheard her backbiting some of his friends – and some of her own. Joshua couldn’t tolerate vicious gossipmongers.

“Good morning, Joshua. It’s so good to see you.” Laura smiled and her freckled cheeks bloomed with color.

He rose to his feet. “
Mornin
’, Laura.” He switched his gaze to the woman beside the mayor’s daughter. Auburn ringlets hung from underneath her bonnet and bobbed when she moved. Her eyes were as green as Montana’s summer grass. “Who is your friend?” he asked.

The sparkle in Laura’s eyes dimmed as her smile waned. “Um, this is Miss Natalie Jones.”

Joshua put forth his right hand.
“Nice to meet you, Miss Jones.
What brings you to Virginia City?”

“My father has recently purchased the Mercantile. We’re from the Great Falls area.”

“Well, Ma’am, it’s a pleasure to have you here.” He poured on the sweetness. “Are your parents with you?”

“No, unfortunately.
They don’t attend church regularly.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Joshua said.

More people spilled in through the double doors of the building, his family amongst them. His daughters ran to him and clung to his side. “Miss Jones, these are my daughters, Jessica and Frances.”

She smiled and bent to their level.
“Nice to meet you.”
She looked up at Joshua. “They’re absolutely adorable.”

Chuckling, he nodded. “I happen to think so.”

His brothers hurried over, and Joshua made the introductions to the new woman in town. As Joshua expected, his younger siblings turned into the charming men not usually seen by the family. Both Laura and Miss Jones giggled like schoolgirls from his brother’s flirtations.

“And let me introduce you to Matthew’s bride…uh, widow,” Joshua quickly corrected.

Laura’s eyes widened, as her eyes did a quick sweep of Careen from the top of her hair to her shoes. “I had heard Matthew married, but I thought that was just gossip.”

Careen passed the other woman a forced smile. “No, Miss
Checketts
,” Careen drawled in her southern accent, “I really married Matthew.”

Laura frowned and clutched Careen’s hands. “Oh, forgive me for saying that. I didn’t mean it rude in any way. And please accept my condolences. Matthew was such a dear friend.” Tears gathered in Laura’s eyes. “He will surely be missed.”

“Thank you.”

Joshua’s mother hooked her arm with Careen’s. “I believe we should find our seats. The service will begin shortly.”

Careen nodded to the other two women. “It was nice meeting y’all.”

After everyone took their seats, Joshua tried to concentrate on the sermon, but could feel Careen’s gaze upon him from time to time. She sat on the same pew right next to Frances. When Joshua draped his arm around his daughter’s shoulder, his fingers brushed Careen’s dress, so he quickly withdrew. Every time she sang, it sounded like angels, and when she shifted in her seat, her heavenly scent of roses enveloped his scenes. Hopefully, nothing important was talked about in the sermon because he certainly wouldn’t remember a thing.

Then again, lately he hadn’t really been listening to the sermons anyway since everything had been mixed up in his head. Was what the pastor preached really the truth?

Relief swept over him when the meeting ended, but then irritation began to build the longer the available men in the congregation came up for introductions. Even Pastor Adams – who happened to be unmarried – welcomed Careen into the fold with more enthusiasm than Joshua figured the man of God should have.
Especially when the pastor didn’t act like that with Miss Jones.

The more men that came up for introductions, the more eager Joshua was to leave. He had no reason to stay and watch this spectacle, yet he couldn’t bring himself to walk away. What bothered him more was seeing how much Careen enjoyed the attention. Of course, she enjoyed it – she was still a young woman who needed a man.

At long last, his parents pushed the family out the door and to the wagon. Joshua kissed his daughter’s cheeks before mounting his horse and riding for home. The further away from the church he rode, he breathed a sigh of relief. Since the death of his wife, going to church had been torture. He continued to go to church, but deep in his gut, he couldn’t stop thinking his wife was rotting in hell for taking her own life. Sermons he’d heard before made him believe that God would not forgive those who chose to take their own life. If Emma were indeed mentally insane, it was a disease – not a choice – wouldn’t God understand? Yet the more questions he had, the more times the pastor’s words discouraged Joshua.