A Tragic Wreck (18 page)

His secretary jumped up almost immediately. “Oh, Miss Adler. How are you?” She ran over to Olivia, taking her coat and hanging it up in the closet.

“Fine, thank you. I was wondering if Alexander is around and available. I only need a few moments of his time.”

“Oh, of course. Mr. Burnham had mentioned you might stop by.”

Arrogant bastard
, Olivia thought to herself.

“He is in a meeting right now, but has instructed that you are welcome to wait in his office. He should be out within the next ten minutes.” She walked over to the large glass door and buzzed Olivia in.

“Thank you.” Olivia walked down the long corridor leading to Alexander’s office. She heard voices on the opposite side of the hallway coming from the conference room, and stopped dead in her tracks when Alexander’s voice echoed through the room. Could she really go through with this? Just hearing his voice again made her heart ache.

Opening the door to his office, thousands of memories came rushing back. The first night she met him. How he gently took care of her after Simon attacked her. The numerous times during their brief courtship that he summoned her upstairs and all the things they would do on his couch.

She walked over to the sitting area and ran her fingers across the back of the large couch. “A lot of great memories on that couch,” a voice said, interrupting her thoughts. She spun around, her heart dropping to her stomach. Alexander stood in the doorway, wearing a crisp black suit and a green tie.

“Oh my god, Olivia. Are you okay? Is something wrong?” He rushed toward her, wrapping his arms around her, electricity coursing through her body. “Are you sick or something?” Alexander took in the sight of her. She had lost too much weight. He wondered whether she had eaten at all over the past few months. And he felt partly responsible.

Tears fell from her eyes at the concerned sound in his voice. “Why does everyone ask me that?”

Alexander released his hold on her, stepping back to look at her. “Because you don’t look like yourself, Olivia. You look…upset.”

“Well, you could say that,” she replied, glancing around the room, trying to hide her eyes from him.

“Here. Have a seat.” He led her to the love seat across from the couch and helped her sit down before he took his place next to her.

“So, what is it that I can do for you today?” he asked very matter-of-factly. Mr. Businessman was back.

Olivia took a deep breath and straightened her spine, looking for the inner strength to tell him what she had come there to say. “This is kind of hard for me to say so, please, just let me get it all out before you interrupt me.”

“Okay.” He nodded.

“Here goes nothing.” She turned toward him. “Alex, I fucked up. I know that now. I pushed you away because it’s what I do. Or did. I got scared because I was getting so close to you. And I knew that, at some point, you wouldn’t be able to put up with all my craziness anymore. I thought I would never be able to make you truly happy and that killed me. I cared about you so much that I hated myself for doing that to you. So I figured I would push you away, which was the most difficult thing I ever had to do.” She took a deep breath as she stared into his green eyes. “That last morning in Newport…” she said softly.

“On the yacht?” Alexander interrupted, his voice trembling.

“I needed you one more time. I was so addicted to your body, and the thought of never being able to feel you inside of me again broke me apart.”

“So that was you saying good-bye then?” he asked, his eyes meeting hers before she looked away.

“It was the only way I knew how,” she replied, staring at her fingers.

“Look at me, Olivia.”

She obeyed, lifting her water-filled eyes to meet his.

“I knew there was something different that morning, but I never would have guessed that you would be running from me. I had a feeling you were slipping away from me, but I thought we got that spark back after the race. You say you thought I could never be happy with you. That wasn’t your decision to make. I was so deliriously happy with you, Olivia,” he said quietly, his voice full of hurt. “And I knew you were going through some issues. I was more than willing to be patient with you while you worked through those, but you pushed me away. Twice.”

“I know!” she exclaimed, clearly agitated. She took a deep breath. “Just let me finish,” she pleaded.

Alexander nodded. “Okay.”

“When I first arrived in Florida, every morning I woke up hoping, in the back of my mind, that you would show up on my doorstep, begging for me to come back. And then I met Cam and I thought he would be the perfect person to help dull the pain because I felt nothing for him. And nothing was better than the hurt. When you confronted me…god, Alexander. It took all my willpower to
not
melt into your arms. When you found me, I was secretly thrilled. You’re right. My body did betray me. I’ve never felt as fulfilled or complete as I did with you. You’re the only one that gives me an orgasm so intense that I feel my entire world shake, and it scared me all over again. So I lied. I told you what you needed to hear to leave me alone.”

Olivia stared into Alexander’s intense green eyes, tears beginning to fall down both their faces. “I’m so sorry, Alexander. I took the coward’s way out. I pushed you away to prevent myself from being hurt. But, in the end, I was the one who hurt myself. I experienced
inexplicable
pain. And then I saw all those photos of you with another woman and heard about your engagement, and I shut down. I tried to shut everything off. Because that pain, Alex…” her voice trailed off, her chin trembling. She took another steadying breath. “That pain is worse than anything I have ever experienced. Knowing that you’re with someone else is tearing me apart.” Tears continued to fall down Olivia’s face.

Alexander took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. Olivia had come back to him. It was what he always hoped for and wanted. But now that she was here, could he really dive head-first back into her life? “Olivia, do you have any idea how hurt I was when you left? Do you have any idea what the words you said in Florida did to me?”

Olivia nodded her head. “I do now. I realize the pain that I cause other people when I leave. And I swear to you, I’m done running. I’m begging you, Alexander. You need to believe me. I am ready for this, whatever it is.”

Alexander stood up, needing to distance himself from her. “I believe you, but I’m not sure I’m ready. You hurt me, Olivia. You let me go, and I had no choice but to do the same. I moved on, just as you asked me to. It was hard but, each day, it became easier to get out of bed and think about you a little less. You never left my thoughts and I don’t think you ever will, but I can’t put myself through that again.”

Olivia stood up and walked toward Alexander. She grabbed his hands in hers, that spark of electricity back.

He stared down at her, wanting to not feel that anymore.

“I understand, Alexander. Just answer me one question and, I promise, I will be out of your life.” Looking deep into his eyes, she asked, “Are you happy?”

He broke his gaze from her, looking out the large expansive windows surrounding his office. He thought about the question for a while, Olivia waiting patiently for her answer. His eyes slowly returned to hers. “I am happy. Chelsea’s not perfect but, right now, she is what I need, Olivia.”

She brought her lips together, closed her eyes, and nodded. Releasing Alexander’s hands, she walked toward the door, turning to take one last look at him. She noticed that his shoulders had dropped. “I know this is good-bye then. Before I go, promise me one thing.” She paused. “Promise that you’ll never forget me.”

“Olivia, please,” Alexander said, taking a step toward her, his eyes pleading.

She held her hand up, stopping him from getting any closer. “Let me get this out, Alexander. I need to.”

He nodded, his heart unsure of whether he could listen to her words without breaking all over again.

“Promise me you’ll always remember me. Walking out on you, then coming back here and losing you all over again has been painful enough. But as long as it wasn’t for nothing, as long as it meant something, then maybe I can move on like you have.” She opened the door and turned around once more, taking one last look at the only man who really saw her and accepted her for who she was.

“I don’t think I can go on knowing that I mean nothing to you.” Her chin quivered and she stared deep into his eyes. “I think I could have loved you, Alexander.” She took a deep breath, holding his gaze. “I just thought you should know that.”

He watched Olivia walk out his door and sank down onto the couch, wondering whether he did the right thing.

As she walked down the hallway, she heard Alexander speak one last time. “You’ll always be my Eve, love.” She was about to turn around, wondering what he meant by that, when she ran right into someone coming through the security door.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Olivia said, raising her head, unable to believe her luck. “Oh, my. You must be Chelsea.”

“Yes, that’s me. Are you friends with Alex?” Her voice was high-pitched and annoying.

“Yeah. Olivia Adler.” She held her hand out.

Chelsea just stared at her. “You’re Olivia? Jeez, I thought he had better taste.”

“Listen, I’ve had a rough day. I just got my heart stomped by that man in there. You won, okay? You get to keep him. I hope you appreciate just how wonderful of a human being he is. I mean,
really
appreciate it. He deserves someone like that. He is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. He deserves to have every happiness so you better make him happy…”

Chelsea simply stared at Olivia as she took a deep breath, her lip trembling. She didn’t know why she had been so catty to her. Chelsea could tell that she was hurt and in pain. But if it meant that Alexander turned her away, Chelsea was okay with it because that could have easily been her pain.

Olivia lowered her voice, her chin quivering with emotion. “I wanted to be the one to do that, ya’ know? Make him happy. But I didn’t realize that soon enough. And now that I have, I guess it’s just too late. But it’s hard to tell your mind to forget about someone when your heart aches for that person.” She walked into the reception area, sobbing uncontrollably, desperately needing to get away from everything that reminded her of Alexander. She pushed the button for the elevator and got in before realizing that she had forgotten her coat.
Fuck it
, she thought.
I don’t need it
.

After watching Olivia practically run into the elevator, Chelsea turned to see Alexander standing inside the doorway to his office. He had overheard every word.

He was beginning to think he had made a terrible mistake.

“C
HERYL
,
PLEASE
TELL
ME
you have some good news,” Donovan said calmly into his phone. “It’s been nearly three months!”

Cheryl laughed. “Well, I have some for you. I just read Carter’s reports from last night. Olivia is back, and here’s the kicker… She just left Burnham’s office. I was in a briefing with him and stayed a few minutes after to discuss some things with a few of the other agents when I overheard her in the hallway. She stormed out of there pretty quickly.”

“Has she left the building?” Donovan asked, standing from his desk, his mind racing.

“Yes, sir. I grabbed some camera feeds and she was seen leaving the building on foot through the front doors, turning right onto State.”

He exhaled loudly, thankful that, after several quiet months, he finally had a location on the girl. He didn’t care that he had promised Simon that he could finish her off. She had disappeared and now that she was back, he needed to act. “I’m on it. Thank you, Cheryl. Keep me posted.”

“Yes, sir.”

He hung up and immediately dialed another number. “Grant. It’s me. It’s go time. She was seen leaving Burnham’s building on foot. Get on it,” he growled.

“Yes, sir.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A gentle knock woke Alexander from his daydreaming. Chelsea was going on and on about some shopping spree she just went on and, of course, various wedding plans. All he could do was think about Olivia and whether he had made the right decision sending her away.

“Come in,” he said.

His secretary entered carrying a red belted coat. “Sorry to interrupt you, sir, but Miss Adler left without this. I tried to stop her, but didn’t get to her in time. I apologize.”

He grabbed the coat from her. “Thank you. I’ll make sure it is returned to her.” His secretary turned and left. He looked out the windows and noticed that snow was falling from the sky.

“Shit,” he muttered.

“What?” Chelsea asked, annoyed at the fact that Alexander had interrupted her story about some bridal boutique she had visited earlier in the day.

“It’s snowing and Olivia doesn’t have her jacket.”

Chelsea exhaled loudly. “Who cares? She’s a big girl. She’ll be okay. I mean, you don’t really need a jacket in a car anyway.”

“She wouldn’t have driven over here,” Alexander said, realizing how much he really did know about Olivia and how little he knew about Chelsea. He knew Olivia was probably walking around the city at that moment. How could he just let her leave? He should have at least made sure she got home okay. He hadn’t been thinking clearly and now he feared for her safety.

He looked over at Chelsea as she filed her nails. “I have to go.” He ran out the door, leaving her.

“Alex, wait!” Chelsea said loudly.

Alexander ignored her cries and ran down the hallway, thinking how it was the second time in so many days that he walked out on Chelsea. He called Martin quickly, telling him to meet him outside with the SUV immediately. Within a few minutes, he jumped into the car.

“Martin, she’s walking around out here without a jacket. I need to find her. Just drive to her house. Maybe we can catch her on the way.”