A Texas Ranger's Family (15 page)

But, just in case, he'd make the best of the time he had left.

 

Erin scooted over, happy to make room for Daniel to flop down on the colorful quilt topped with an old tablecloth that she and Dana had spread in the shade. Before them was a banquet of smoked barbecue to make Thanksgiving dinner look like KFC takeout.

“You two are gonna give me a heart attack.”

They'd laid out paper platters of ribs, brisket, chicken and links along with roasted corn, baked beans, coleslaw and buttered biscuits. In the center of the feast, an empty popcorn bucket donated by the local theater awaited discarded bones that would be picked clean.

“There's enough fat here to send Goliath for a cholesterol check.”

“Oh, hush.” The back of Dana's hand thumped him on the forearm. “You're skinny as a rail to begin with and we're going to burn it all off when the cleanup starts, so dig in and enjoy.”

For the next half hour the three exchanged more moans than words. They communicated through finger licking, lip smacking, eye rolling and head bobbing. Erin believed she'd come to fully understand the science and skill of barbecue in the past few days. Today she learned there was a sign language, as well. When the cardboard container in the center of their picnic was filled with bones, corncobs and paper napkins, Dana doled out much-needed moist towelettes. Then she leaned back on her elbows and breathed in the fragrant
scent of wood-smoked meats mingled with natural outdoor aromas.

“On days like this, I understand why the cousins are happy out here in the middle of nowhere.”

“I know what you mean.” Erin nodded. “I get the same feeling in the Saudi desert. I can completely relate to why the Bedouin people wouldn't consider living any other way.”

Daniel finished wiping his hands and made a two-point toss of his wet nap into the garbage pail. “As a man who's spent a lot of time in these parts, I prefer to be where I can rinse the grit out of my teeth and have it stay like that for days at a time. I'm just a big sissy that way,” he drawled.

Erin loved Daniel's easy willingness to expose his need for creature comforts. He told her stories about car stakeouts that had lasted for days and takedowns that had morphed into wrestling matches. He was a cowboy at heart, but he had a special appreciation for hot showers and indoor plumbing.

“Well, big sissy, it's about time for the dessert judging. Shall we head over there to get in on the final tasting?” Erin asked.

“Oh, that's right!” Dana hopped to her feet and grabbed her father by the hand. She tugged with bull dog tenacity pulling him to the soles of his boots. “Come on, Daddy. Let's go see how your entry does.”

“Aww, prizes don't matter. I'm fulfilled by the appreciation in my little girl's eyes when she's got a mouthful of warm cobbler and homemade vanilla ice cream.”

“Nice try, but I know how much you want that blue ribbon,” Dana insisted.

“What makes you say a thing like that?”

“Last Christmas I gave you a new kitchen calendar. Before you even noted my birthday, your wrote WIN FIRST PLACE—in all caps—across the dates for this week.”

“Hmm, did I really do that?”

“Yes, Daddy.” Dana giggled.

Erin enjoyed the sound. It was a sweet melody that Daniel had been hearing since the day their daughter's funny bone was first tickled. How many more precious moments had they shared, just the two of them? Daddy and baby girl, having and needing only one another.

“You run on ahead and get us a good spot in the judging arena,” Daniel suggested. “Check to see if Aunt Becky saved us a seat. She's carried on all week about that sticky marshmallow cake of hers, so she's probably on the front row practicing her acceptance speech.”

Dust kicked up from Dana's feet as the heels of her boots pounded the ground in the direction of the covered arena.

Erin walked close at Daniel's right side. He captured the hand she intentionally brushed against his. She longed for him to change their course, to lead her behind the barn where they could steal a kiss like high school sweethearts. Though he shortened his stride to match hers, he continued on toward the judging.

“You're having a great time, aren't you?” she asked, even though the answer sparkled in his eyes.

“I love doing this event with my family. Daddy used to donate whatever we could afford to the boys' ranch each year but it was never as much as he wanted to give. He would be so humbled to know the family funds
a perpetual trust in his name. After all these years, the community still remembers Percy Stabler for something more important than cows. You'll see on our last night at the sunset service.”

If J.D had his way, she wouldn't be there for the memorial service to honor the patriarch of the Double-S.

“Does it get any easier for you to leave the ranch as the years go by?” she asked.

Daniel slowed for a moment as he considered her question.

“Mama still complains, but it's not hard on Dana and me because Houston really is home for us. But this year, it's gonna be different because of you. Erin, in a short time you've made a lasting impression. It'll be tough on everybody when we say our goodbyes, so let's not dwell on that today.”

They walked the rest of the way without speaking. Hundreds of animated voices in the distance absorbed the silence while Erin marveled at Daniel's comments, at his calm.

He was
expecting
her to go back to her old life and he wasn't even going to try to change her mind. Just as he had sixteen years ago, Daniel would respect and honor her personal needs.

The black-and-white terrors that had driven her at eighteen seemed light years away. At thirty-four, a myriad of colorful emotions bound her to those she'd once abandoned. It would take true courage to change the course of her life at this late date.

And according to her sister, Erin Gray was a coward.

J
ake sat at the head of the kitchen table with the fund-raising financials on a spreadsheet before him.

“After we pay the recycling and garbage services we are still above our goal by $2,200.”

A cheer went up from those who'd gathered at the ranch house after the prizes had been awarded to celebrate another banner year.

“I think we can draw even more people next year if we have a big fireworks finale,” Dana suggested.

LaVerne's family room erupted with objections. Jake held his hands up to silence the wisecracks.

“City girl, wildfires really tick off the neighbors, so we try to avoid a shower of sparks over dry grassland in the summertime.”

“Good point, Uncle Jake.”

“Every now and again…” He winked at Erin.

She was feeling like such a traitor. Here she stood in the midst of people who'd welcomed her unconditionally. They'd never raised the unanswered questions, hadn't once given voice to the criticism she surely
deserved, and always made her feel part of the family. Whatever Daniel and LaVerne had said in preface to Erin's arrival must have been nothing short of life threatening. If comments had been whispered in private, they hadn't made their way into polite conversation. Not an insignificant accomplishment with a gaggle of young girls on the property.

And tomorrow at breakfast, Erin would repay their kindness by announcing she'd likely be gone before dark. These good folks deserved better, but she owed J.D., too. He'd given her a chance when she was nobody. He'd put his reputation on the line for her more than once and she'd always repaid him in spades. How could she do any less now?

“You're awfully quiet.” Daniel settled on a bar stool beside her. With his blue ribbon hanging around his neck, he was so adorable she had to smile.

“Just tired, I suppose.”

“You're in good company.” They were all exhausted. “But everybody will be right as rain after they sleep till noon tomorrow.”

“Noon?” Erin had been roused by activity in the kitchen before five every morning.

“Me and my big mouth.” His handsome face took on the guilty look of a boy caught rifling Christmas presents on the twenty-fourth. Daniel glanced at Dana to see if she'd heard him. “I just blew the punch line.”

“Then go ahead and tell me the joke.”

“We always take a break the day after the competition wraps up. The campers can see themselves out the gate and everybody meets at Jake and Becky's for a late meal
with no barbecue on the menu
,” he stressed.

“By early afternoon we have the ranch to ourselves again. Then we take it slow for a couple of days and look forward to the sunset worship the night before we leave for home.” He checked for eavesdroppers and lowered his voice to a whisper. “The girls decided it would be a good prank to let you think you'd overslept. Now you're going to have to pretend or you'll get me in trouble.”

Father, give me the words to tell Daniel the truth
, she pleaded from her spirit.

Erin pressed her palm to his shirtsleeve and squeezed his arm as if to draw from his strength.

“I need to speak privately with you and Dana.”

 

The grip of Erin's fingers on Daniel's forearm said his world was about to be rocked. The dread he'd been brushing away as wasted worry now settled heavy, a weight on his spirit. His Ranger instincts reminded him daily that the worst could happen, but he'd begun to hope Erin wouldn't let it come to that. He'd freely given trust though she hadn't earned it. Hadn't even asked for it. If his heart got crushed, there was only one person at fault. Himself.

He signaled for Dana to join them.

“Let's take a walk down to the bunkhouse so we can have a family meeting.”

“What's this all about?” Dana quizzed her father as soon as the three excused themselves and stepped into the warm night air. “Did I do something?”

Though her face was in shadow Daniel knew her expression well. Like every child, her first reaction when anything went wrong was to assume guilt rested on her head. Though there was nothing to substantiate it, he
knew his daughter had always felt somehow responsible for her mother's absence from their lives. Whatever was about to happen, he prayed Dana would not internalize the blame.

“Everything you've done this week has been perfect.” He gave the back of her neck a tender squeeze. “I'm very proud of you. It's just we haven't had much time for the three of us, and Erin has something she wants to share.”

Satisfied with his answer, Dana chattered about the day's events during the brief walk. Erin was silent, seemingly deep in thought. Or prayer.

“Here we are.” Daniel flipped on the overhead lights and guided his two girls toward the room's oversized picnic table. He stepped first one boot and then the other over the bench and made himself as comfortable as a man can on a plank of wood. Erin and Dana faced him across the scarred surface.

“Erin, you called this meeting so tell us what's on your mind.”

She inhaled loudly, they held their breath. She crossed her arms over her chest, they leaned closer. She closed her eyes and dipped her chin, they stared hard.

“Mama?” Dana mimicked the concerned tone Daniel used to encourage her when she needed to get something off her chest. “Whatever it is, we'll help you with it.”

He ached with pride as his child reassured her mother, believing they could overcome anything together as a family.

Erin looked up through glistening eyes. At odds with the rest of her demeanor, a smile curved her lips.

“J.D. called a couple of days ago. They've offered me a new assignment. I'm going to photograph troops with
injuries similar to mine while a video crew shadows me. It's a perfect vehicle to get the plight of our wounded warriors into the public eye.”

“But that's great!” Dana gave her mama's hand an enthusiastic squeeze as she babbled on. “Are you sad because you'll have to go back to Walter Reed for a few weeks? We can handle things in Houston until you get home.”

Erin's gaze met Daniel's and he knew where the rest of the story was headed. He took pity on the brimming bronze eyes.

“The assignment's in Iraq, isn't it?” He said the words she couldn't.

Erin nodded.

“For an extended period of time?” he asked.

She nodded again. “I've never gone over with an end date on the books. That comes with the territory. I'm there until World View reassigns me. And even with a draw dawn certain for next year, I feel sure they'll move me somewhere else in the theater of war.”

Dana snatched her hand away as if Erin's flesh had turned molten. “You're not going, are you?”

“Honey, it's what I do. It's all I
can
do.”

Dana slapped both palms on the table. “No, it's not! Look how easily you fit in here. You're not like me, all crazy and freaky.” She ran her fingers through pointy hair, wiggled her many rings and tugged at the multiple piercings on her ears. “You're not only gifted with talent, you're
normal
. You can work anywhere, with anybody and be successful. You don't have to go to the other side of the planet for that.”

“It's not so simple.” Erin shook her head like there was no hope for another option.

“Then I'm going with you.” Dana folded her arms, matter-of-fact, no further discussion needed.

“No, you're not,” Daniel insisted, losing the battle to keep his voice calm. “You have two more years of high school and then college. After that you can call your own shots, but as long as I'm supporting you, I have the last say.” He couldn't believe he'd just said that! It was pompous and dictatorial, and he might as well have thrown down the gauntlet.

“Fine. Then you won't support me. I do okay when you're not around, so what's the difference?”

He deserved that shot.

“Mama told me she was on her own when she was about my age and look how well she—”

“Stop it, Dana,” Erin interrupted. “My situation was different and I would never wish that experience on another person. I had no choice. You do. Your father's right. You need to finish your education and if I'm back in the states by then, we can spend time together.”

Dana looked straight ahead, her eyes not meeting Daniel's. Her lips pressed tightly, her head nodded.

“When will you leave?”

During the moment it took Erin to answer, no one drew a breath.

“Tomorrow.”

Dana narrowed her eyes, looked first at her father and then her mother.

“So, this isn't a family meeting at all. It's just a private way for you to yank the rug out from under us without looking bad in front of the others. Well, I think it stinks like the manure that it is.”

“Don't be crude,” Daniel warned his daughter.

“Oh, so you don't have a problem with what she's doing to us, Dad? Your only concern is my language?” Dana jumped to her feet, a fist jammed on each hip. “Well, I've waited all my life to know my mama and I'm not going along with this. If I have to give up my home and my security to be with my family, that's what I'll do.”

“
The Stablers
are your family,” Erin softly reminded Dana. “They've been here for you all your life and they've earned your loyalty.”

Her young shoulders slumped. A moan of defeat escaped her lips. “That's just it. I know my daddy's family. But I need to know the other half of who I am.”

Dana scuffed the floor as she dragged her feet toward the door. She turned the handle then looked back at her mother.

“If you aren't here to teach me, who will?”

 

Erin felt the door beginning to close on her choices as it slammed behind Dana.

“I should never have come,” Erin muttered certain Daniel must feel the same.

“To Houston or Fort Stockton?” His voice was strangely soft, but she could see the anger flex in his clenched jaw.

“Anywhere inside the borders of Texas. I know God doesn't make mistakes or I'd think my birth here was a mix up. As soon as I crossed outside the state line, for the first time, my life finally started to look up. I shouldn't have come back,” she repeated. “There's nothing here for me and the people I love but pain.”

Daniel moved to her side, sat down and folded his hands on the tabletop. She longed to feel his arm around
her, to lean into him, to give into him. But give into what? He hadn't asked her for
anything
.

“Don't be absurd. The pain has nothing to do with the geography of Texas. It's all about what you keep buried up here.” He tapped a fingertip to his forehead. “And even more about what you have growing in here.” Daniel pressed his hand to his heart. “Erin, you can keep runnin' from it, but the real baggage is stuff that stays packed and can't be left behind. It'll be with you wherever you go until you deal with it. Why won't you trust me to help you?”

She closed her eyes against his words.

He took her chin in the crook of his finger and turned her face, forcing her gaze to meet his. She'd once stood at the breathtaking peak of Kilimanjaro. But in this rustic cabin in West Texas she saw the sparkle of forever in the golden flecks of Daniel's dark eyes. The comfort that stole over her was the same she'd felt at eighteen when she'd shared the secret of their pregnancy with Daniel. Without hesitation he'd declared he wanted her and their child forever.

“You're a brave lady, not afraid of risk,” Daniel whispered. “How can I convince you to take a chance on us? The lifestyle may not be exotic but there's a lot to be said for being a Texas Ranger's family.”

She couldn't think and yet her mind was crowded with thoughts. Daniel loved family above all things and a wife was his missing element. Was this his way of filling in an empty blank, closing a circle where she'd created a gap? Daniel would do anything for his daughter, and Dana was desperate to know her mother's history. He'd be meeting his child's needs but he'd never once confessed his own.

And what about Erin's needs? As Dana had pointed out, Erin was blessed with a gift for freezing a moment in time. She was free to go anyplace, was able to blend in anywhere. She could catch the unexpected because it never knew she was hovering nearby with her Nikon. Maybe the miracle that had eluded her was just another snap of the shutter away.

She still had so many photos unfinished in the lab and in her head. Someday she would slow down for that work, but right now God's purpose for her seemed to be 10,000 miles away.

“What do you say?” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Will you give it another try?”

Will you give it another try?

Daniel's choice of words amazed her. Was he asking her to spend a lifetime with him or pull the handle of a slot machine? Being part of a family wasn't something she wanted to “try” like a new recipe. If she ever traveled that road again, there would be no turning back.