A Swithin Spin: A Princely Passion (24 page)

Antal hesitated. Some semaris partners did just that. “I think we’ll ease into that one, shall we?”

Kilan’s smile looked more disappointed than relieved, but enough relief existed in his expression for Antal to know he had said the right thing. “I think next time I pick up the collar, we’ll make it…
more formal
.” Apparently, that was the right thing to say too. Today they’d used the collar as an instrument of play. Next time Kilan accepted the collar, it would be once they’d negotiated the rules and worked out what best suited them both. That might take a while.

He could only hope time would prove they had something here. He could only hope his instincts had guided him to the right kind of relationship, one that could satisfy them both.

Chapter Fifteen

The ball of light hovered above Kilan’s palm. With focused concentration, Kilan
thought
the glowing sphere over to the left. It floated through the air and settled in the same position slightly above his other hand. That simple act cleared his mind. With far less effort, Kilan directed the orb to circle him. It obeyed as if it acted like a favored pet, eager to please.

Having done what he set out to do, Kilan let the light go, blinked, and released his hold on the comet’s power.

“How’s he doing?” Antal inquired. Kilan looked up sharply, taking in Antal’s barely suppressed eagerness and then Markis’s studious gaze. Kilan swallowed, feeling the now-familiar constriction encircling his throat. How did he manage to concentrate on his lessons at all? What would Markis think of his concentration if he realized he was able to perform these feats with the added distraction of a collar?

If Markis thought Antal’s question peculiar, he said not a word. Markis hadn’t kept Kilan’s training secret from Antal. After all, it had been with Antal’s help that Kilan had first broached the subject of his being able to heal others easily with the power. They’d skirted the issue of how and why but had confessed Kilan had healed Antal’s ankle. Even so, Markis might find the question peculiar considering the source.

One could hardly disregard the fact that the prince and Antal had been spending rather a lot of time together. Had Markis noticed? Kilan believed Uly had. Even now Uly looked at him with a smile on his face that said he knew a secret that wasn’t much of a secret at all. Just how much, if anything, did these men know?

Kilan had tried to tell Markis that he had feelings for Uly’s Sonndre so many times that it felt as if kissing Antal so much had tied his tongue in knots. Of course, that wasn’t the only thing he had learned to do with his tongue. A good semaris knew how to obey orders.

He closed his eyes briefly, feeling Antal’s gaze on his face. Could Antal read his thoughts in his expression? He wouldn’t feel at all surprised if that was the case.

Markis apparently contemplated Antal’s question.

“It tires him but not as much as it does me. I think you were right, Antal. Healing is a more natural ability in Kilan. I think it’s something we could explore further at the treatment center. I think…” Markis pursed his lips with a thoughtful expression. “I think that if it can work, then you could help in the most extreme cases where we cannot save someone through other skills. If we sedated those who require your help, they need never know.”

Kilan nodded. “That would make sense. It would allow me time for other duties, and it wouldn’t tire me too much, but it might help save lives where they might otherwise be lost. They likely wouldn’t need my help too often so as not to draw attention either.”

Markis nodded. “I know you seem to use this healing ability naturally, but I don’t want others outside of our circle to know you or I can do this for reasons we’ve already discussed.”

Kilan knew those reasons very well. If people came from far and wide, it would be impossible for a hundred men accessing the power to heal everyone. Two of them stood no chance at all. It would cause riots, and he and Markis would only make themselves sick with trying.

“I also don’t want to put you at risk, and while I’m almost certain healing someone occasionally won’t harm you, I don’t know what doing this too often would do. I want you to take your time experimenting with this.”

Kilan could hear love in his brother’s voice, found it heartening. He risked a glance at Antal. Those amber eyes sparkled.
See
, that gaze said.
See, I told you how these men felt about you
. It wasn’t just a question of love. Markis had faith in him in other ways. He accepted that now. Oddly, his relationship with Antal had relaxed his attitude in many areas of his life.

“We done for the day?” Markis addressed the question to all present: to Kilan, Antal, Ryanac, and Uly. They all nodded. Kilan turned away.

He didn’t know when the right time would come for him and Antal to talk to the others about their relationship, and indeed, their
type
of relationship. Following a test of his power didn’t feel like the right time. Pity, for he had to talk to Markis soon. Evidently, whatever they felt for each other, it wasn’t going to fade overnight. If he could swear to anything, he’d swear to his love for Antal. The semaris side of their relationship was part of it, but not everything. It wasn’t even the most important part. Sexually it seemed to work for them both, bringing them the same level of pleasure, but mutual respect and affection fed the loving side of their bond.

He hadn’t understood it at first. He’d never seen himself emotionally tied to another man in such a loving way, but he hardly found it so peculiar when he gave it serious consideration. He admired Antal. There was nothing about the other man not to love, and Kilan couldn’t for the life of him imagine being in a semaris relationship with a female. He’d bedded dominant women before, or rather they had bedded him, and those experiences had been what sex had always previously meant to him:
a bit of fun
. He had fun with Antal, but their relationship was far from casual.

So he had every reason to be honest with his brother, to tell Markis that he loved Antal. Alas, the right time just hadn’t presented itself.

“
Guerk
.” As noises went, that one sounded far from princely, but the finger hooking under his collar and jerking him back choked off any other cry.

“My, my. What have we here?”

Ryanac had hooked a finger, not under the collar of his tunic, but under the collar he’d hidden beneath the scarf. Kilan widened his eyes at the sight of Ryanac’s grin. Ryanac had removed the scarf, revealing the whole of the collar. Now he pulled on the collar, effectively lifting Kilan to the tip of his toes. Kilan swiveled his eyes, gazing around, and immediately wished he hadn’t. Markis stared at the band encircling Kilan’s throat. Uly also stared, though a broad grin underlined his gaze. Markis looked surprised. Had Uly figured out something that Markis hadn’t? Or had Antal and Uly talked? Considering it now, it seemed more than likely that Antal had spoken to Uly. He was Uly’s protector, but in some things the position went both ways. Uly would have kept Antal’s secret unless he believed it jeopardized their safety. Antal had probably said they intended to tell Markis as soon as the time felt right.

“I-I was going to tell you,” Kilan stammered.

“Who?” Markis asked.

Kilan didn’t know whether to flick his gaze toward Antal or not. He made the mistake of gazing at the man who currently acted as an effective leash. Ryanac’s merriment danced in his eyes. He moved his hand just enough to disrupt Kilan’s balance, making him sway.

“Me,” Antal spoke up. “Let him go, Ryanac. Or at least stop shaking him.”

Kilan closed his eyes just for a second. He wasn’t altogether happy with his thoughts, but he couldn’t stop them.
Oh thank the comet
. If Antal hadn’t spoken up, he wasn’t sure what he would have said. Antal had made the decision for him. As much as he was prepared to believe he could handle more responsibility than he’d previously thought himself capable of, there were some things Kilan still struggled with. The fact that Antal could so calmly declare their relationship like that also told him other things. Actions spoke more eloquently than words in some instances. The stony expression on Antal’s face and the hard edge to his protest, which he directed at Ryanac spoke of love.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Markis asked. Did Markis blink in surprise? Kilan felt unsure whether his brother addressed him or Antal.

“I…” He didn’t know what to say. Ryanac showed him more teeth.

“Oh for the sake of the comet, put him down!” Antal snapped. Ryanac flicked his gaze in Antal’s direction. To Kilan’s surprise, Antal squared up to the big man; he loved him even more for it, right then, right there, falling even more deeply under the spell of that amber gaze. “Don’t pretend for our sake. Why don’t you tell Markis that this was partly your doing?”

“My doing?” If Ryanac tried to sound innocent, he failed, but then Kilan had never associated the word
innocent
with Ryanac. From what he could tell from Markis’s expression, his brother felt the same way.

“Ryanac?” Markis’s voice sounded soft. Kilan would have said soft with warning, but Markis loved Ryanac too much not to forgive him. Even so, Markis clearly wanted an explanation from someone.

“
You
,” Antal said, talking to Ryanac and not Markis. “You threw us in each other’s paths. You did what you always do.”

Ryanac’s dark gaze flicked to Markis’s face. “I didn’t throw you in each other’s paths. I knew you liked each other. I knew Kilan was interested. I just let things go from there.”

“You arranged it so we would have time alone together.” Antal sounded more indebted than accusing. He sighed. “Not that I’m ungrateful for it. But don’t pretend to Markis or any one of us here that you didn’t know. You set us up.”

Still smiling, Ryanac finally withdrew his finger from the collar. Kilan straightened up, thankful to be able to stand without straining his neck. Ryanac reached out and tidied Kilan’s garments, annoying him. Kilan batted Ryanac’s hands away and stood there glaring. Now that Antal had openly accused the big man, Kilan could see the truth of it. Ryanac had manipulated them as he did everyone. He’d clearly known about the collar for a while now. He’d purposely chosen this moment to let Markis know of its existence.

He was probably sick of waiting for you to say something.

Kilan quashed the small voice of his conscience, but not before he acknowledged maybe this was even a good thing. At least now everyone important to him knew.

“Whatever I did or may not have done hardly accounts for the type of sex you like. I’ve given you time,” Ryanac said. “I was beginning to think you’d never find the courage to talk to your brother.”

Uly had wormed his way under Markis’s arm and now rested against his side. Whether he realized it or not, Markis drew Uly tight to his body, inclining his head when Uly kissed his neck. Kilan made a mental note to thank Uly for distracting Markis and making this easier for him. The time had come to face his brother. Kilan looked at Markis from under his brow.

“I wanted to tell you, but we hardly ever have time alone, except for a lesson.”

Markis nodded in apparent understanding. When he stepped away, Uly let him go. Kilan almost stepped back, but a glance at Antal gave him courage. He was fairly certain Markis wouldn’t be upset, but even if he was mistaken, Antal was worth it.

“You’re both serious?”

Markis asked them both but stared at Kilan. Kilan didn’t have to look at Antal this time. He nodded.

“In love?”

“Yes,” Antal answered even though Markis wasn’t looking at him.

“Yes,” Kilan replied, this time staring Markis in the eyes, struggling to keep the grin from his face. Antal loved him. He’d just said so. Was Antal paying attention that he’d just reciprocated? He found it so easy to say it surprised him that he had ever struggled to recognize his feelings. He didn’t find it so easy to meet his brother’s gaze when Markis reached out to finger the collar around his throat.

“I noticed you’d been wearing scarves. Have you been hiding a collar underneath all this time?”

“Sometimes,” Kilan said. He didn’t wear it all the time, just now and then.

“My concern,” Markis said, “is you feeling that you need to hide this. Or are you just not ready to wear this in public?”

“I…” Kilan didn’t know what to say. His mind flitted back to the evening when Antal had placed it around his neck more formally. He could, if he wished, have a public acceptance ceremony, but he hadn’t wanted that until he felt certain this was love. Maybe it would soon be the right time. He looked to Antal for guidance.

“If I may?” Antal interjected. Markis gave a nod. “Kilan wanted to tell you first, and for that we needed to know for certain how we felt about one another. We needed time to decide. This part of our relationship is no one’s business but ours.”

“Of course it isn’t,” Markis responded, his gaze never leaving Kilan’s face. His fingers continued to touch the collar. “Not even Ryanac had the right to…
expose
you.” Markis used the word gently, a smile playing over his lips. “I just meant that if you’re going to have this type of relationship, then you have to decide how you’re going to feel when or if anyone notices.”

It occurred to Kilan that Markis said that for his benefit. “I’m fine with it, Markis.” He placed his hand over Markis’s where he touched the collar. “I’m Swithin,” he said, then laughed.

“I know, but you’ve often found it difficult to fit in.”

Kilan lowered his gaze. Neither Markis nor Kilan had been well loved by their father, but Kilan had struggled with academy life more than Markis ever had, precisely the reason he’d fought so hard to keep his time there short. Even at Markis’s side, Kilan had felt inadequate until…lately -- until Antal came into his life. He could understand why his brother would worry whether he could handle a semaris relationship. He squeezed Markis’s hand and looked up into his eyes.

“It’s what I want,” he said, true joy entering his voice for the first time in ages. “This makes me happy.” He searched his brother’s gaze for understanding. “
He
makes me happy. Meaning this, being this for him, makes me happy. Sharing this with him.” In truth it gave him peace, but he didn’t need to explain that to anyone; it was good enough that Antal understood.