A Shameful Secret (25 page)

“When two people love as we do, nothing can spoil it,” she said. “I want this as much you, Paul. One day makes no difference. Love me now, my dearest.”

“You are sure? You will not take it as a sign of disrespect?”

“No, of course not. I love you, and I want you.”

She undid the ties of her silken robe, letting it fall to the floor in a heap at her feet, the curves of her lovely body clearly revealed beneath it through the sheer gauze of her night chemise. Paul gave a deep shuddering sigh and reached to stop her as she would have pulled the ties open. She smiled and let him do it for her, standing perfectly still as his fingers worked at the ribbons. Then he eased the shift upwards, pulling it over her head as she lifted her arms to allow its removal. For a moment, his eyes seemed to devour her, his hot gaze moving over her body with a slow sensuous pleasure. Her breasts were full and round, her waist slender, her hips perfectly proportioned, soft and firm beneath his hand as he cupped her buttocks, holding her close.

“You are lovely, as beautiful as I knew you would be,” he breathed huskily. “I shall always love you, Hester. Always.” He reached out for her and in one fluid movement scooped her up in his arms, carrying her to the bed. She had one slender arm about his neck as he bent to kiss her before lowering her to the bed, and then he was stripping off his clothes to lie in a heap at the side of the bed.

* * * *

Hester watched, enjoying the strong contours of his body, his long legs and lean torso strong and honed to perfect fitness, a sprinkling of dark hair shadowing his flat stomach to the evidence of his throbbing manhood. She shivered with anticipation as he lay beside her, for dimly she recalled pain when Richard had taken her maidenhead, but when Paul paused and looked at her anxiously, she put her arms about him, clasping him to her.

“I am not afraid,” she murmured close to his ear. “I love you, want you in every way.”

His flesh seemed to burn hers as they lay entwined in a feverish embrace, their mutual desire sweeping away all the doubts that might have troubled either or both. Paul’s lips and tongue worshipped her body as he licked delicately at the dark rose of her nipples; he sucked at her gently, making her arch her back and moan as the desire rippled through her in great waves. He moved lower, tracing the soft smooth skin of her naval, his tongue laving her, seeking out each tiny part of her, even to the citadel of her femininity. At the first touch of his mouth here, she gave a little scream of pleasure, her nails digging into his shoulder because the pleasure was almost too much to bear.

Ripple after ripple of sensation made her gasp and pant, and when he moved on top of her to ease himself inside her, she was moist and ready so that there was no pain but a wonderful feeling of belonging, of rightness as their bodies moved in perfect unison.

“Paul . . .” she sighed as she drifted with him, carried to the far edges of some distant shore, her breath coming faster as at last  she moaned with pleasure. “I love you so much.”

“And I adore you, my darling.”

Afterwards, when they lay still, Paul still stroking the silken arch of her back, their legs entangled, faces close together, he whispered of his love and his hopes for the future. Hester’s cheeks were wet with tears of happiness, and she slept in his arms, safe, content and secure in the happiness that they had found together.

* * * *

Hester woke to a tingling sense of well-being. It was her wedding day, though in truth she had anticipated her wedding night, but she could not regret it for it had been wonderful. She knew what awaited her as Paul’s wife and could hardly wait for the day to begin.

Paul had left her after she had fallen asleep, and the pillow beside her was smooth and cold, as if he had shaken it before he left. Out of concern for her reputation, she had no doubt, though she was also sure that somehow the servants would know what had been going on. They always knew, but it did not matter. It was her wedding day, and very soon now she would be Paul’s wife.

Charlotte was the first to come to her room. She presented Hester with a small parcel, which, when she opened it, she discovered was the deed to a house and the sum of fifteen thousand pounds in the form of a trust fund.

“My lawyers will administer the trust for you until you are thirty,” she told Hester. “After that, you may do as you please with the capital—but you may wish to keep it intact for your children.”

“But this is far too much,” Hester protested, jumping out of bed to throw her arms about her cousin and hug her. “You have already been so good to me, Charlotte. Had it not been for you, I should never have met Paul. To give me all this money and a house.”

“The house was given me by my first husband,” Charlotte said. “I have no use for it these days, and I thought it might be useful for you. It is in Norfolk and quite close to the sea.” Charlotte took her hand. “Araminta told me about the child, Hester. What she did was wicked, a shameful thing—and I thought perhaps if you wanted to have the child cared for properly you might . . .”

“Oh, Charlotte, that is a wonderful idea,” Hester said. “Yes, I could give her a home of her own, couldn’t I? I could visit her there and know that she was being looked after as she ought to be.” It was not as good as having her child to live with her, but it was the next best thing. “Thank you so much. I shall talk to Paul about it very soon.”

“Yes, well, I am sure that he will not deny you, Hester. You are very fortunate in your choice of a husband, my dearest.”

Charlotte went away as the maid entered with Hester’s breakfast tray. Soon after, she received a visit from her future mother-in-law, who also brought her a gift, this time a beautiful piece of lace wrapped in paper and scented with lavender.

“This was given to me by my mother,” Lady Longstanton told her with a smile. “I have kept it by me, for I thought I might use it for a Christening robe, but my mother-in-law gave me a robe for Paul’s Christening, and I did not have another child. I thought that you might like to use if for your first child.”

“That is so kind of you,” Hester said. “It is beautiful, and I shall certainly have it made into a Christening robe.”. Although not for her first child. Hester felt a little guilty that Lady Longstanton had not been told the truth. She would have preferred to be open with her, but Paul had advised against it. “You and Lord Longstanton have already given me so many gifts—and Paul, of course. He is the best present I could ever have.”

“What a sweet girl, you are. I am so glad that Paul found you, my dear. I know that you will make him happy, and that means that I shall always love you as my daughter.”

Hester kissed her and she went away. Lady Longstanton’s visit was followed by one from Hester’s mother, who also brought her a small gift.

“This was given me by someone of whom I was fond,” she said with a little blush and pushed a rather old and faded velvet box at Hester. “I have never worn it for Mr. Weston would not have been pleased to see it—but I always kept it hidden.”

Hester opened the box to find a diamond pendent in the shape of a heart. It was beautiful, set in reddish gold with a loop to hang it from a ribbon about her throat.

“This is lovely, Mama,” Hester said, looking at her curiously. “Who gave it to you?”

“The gentleman I ought to have married,” Araminta said and sighed. “He must have beggared himself to buy me this for he had hardly any money. He was the third son of a country gentleman and had to earn his living as a doctor—but he was kind and generous, and I have often wished I had disobeyed my mother and married him.”

“Poor Mama,” Hester said. “It is good of you to give it to me—but are you sure you wish to part from it?”

“Yes, of course. I always meant it for you one day. I hope when you look at it you will not think too harshly of me?”

“I shall not think harshly of you at all,” Hester said and kissed her. “Thank you, dearest Mama. I pray you will not think of the past at all. It is over and cannot hurt us now if we do not let it.”

“Yes, we must hope so,” Mrs Weston said and smiled. “You are a good girl, Hester, and you deserve to be happy. I shall leave you now, for it is time for you to get ready. You will not want to keep Paul waiting.”

“No, I must not keep him waiting,” Hester agreed. Feeling a little flutter of butterflies in her stomach, she turned to her maid as her mother went out. She had no real fears, for this marriage was everything she wanted, but still she could not quite control a few nerves. “I am ready now, Anna.”

The young woman smiled at her.  First, she brought Hester her silk shift, and then the three petticoats she needed to wear under her voluminous wedding gown, which was a beautiful ivory lace creation that fitted into her waist and then blossomed into wide skirts with a small train at the back. Once she was dressed in her petticoats, Anna dressed her hair high on her head, allowing one ringlet to fall on her creamy shoulders. Her hair was dressed with flowers and ribbons, and Anna helped her to fasten the string of pearls that Paul had given her as a wedding present. She decided to secure the diamond heart her mother had given her to the pearls, and wore the diamond drops Paul’s father had given her in her ears.

“You look beautiful, Miss Weston,” the maid said. “I must wish you happy, and that is the wish of us all at the Hall.”

“Thank you, you are so kind,” Hester said. She had already received the gift of a beautiful wooden sewing box from the staff and had thanked them through the housekeeper. “I am such a lucky girl.”

“I’m sure you deserve it, miss.”

Hester smiled, feeling her throat tighten as she prepared to go downstairs. Just as she was ready to leave, a knock came at her door. Charlotte had returned to see if she was ready.

“Oh, my love,” Charlotte said. “You are beautiful, quite beautiful. I think Paul will believe himself a fortunate man to have secured such a bride.”

“Oh no, I am the lucky one,” Hester said, but her cousin smiled and shook her head. She picked up the bouquet of white roses and scented lilies that Paul had sent her, preparing to leave.

“Are you wearing your blue garter for luck?” Charlotte asked.

“Yes, thank you, and I have a lace handkerchief that Ellie lent me.”

“Very well, I shall go down now and tell them that you are coming.”

Hester waited for two minutes and then followed her cousin down. Her mother and Charlotte were waiting together with her brother Robert, who was to give her away. He grinned at her, seeming pleased with himself.

“You look very nice, Hetty,” he said and kissed her cheek. “You’ve done us proud, love. I’m glad you’re happy at last.”

“Thank you, Robbie,” she said. “I hope you will find happiness yourself soon.”

“Oh, I shall rub along very nicely,” her brother said. “Can’t say I’m in a hurry to settle down just yet—but we’ll see.”

They went out to the waiting carriage, where most of the staff had gathered to see Hester off. The family had gone on ahead to wait at the church, only Charlotte and Robert remaining to escort the bride.

The bridesmaids were young girls and all related to the Longstanton family in some way. Hester knew them only by name and sight, as Janet and Sarah, but they made a fuss of her when she arrived at the church, arranging her dress at the back and smiling at her.

She began the long walk down the aisle to where Paul was waiting for her. He had one of his cousins as his best man, for the honor would have gone to Josh Farnham had he not been on his own honeymoon. As she took her place by his side, Hester happened to glance to her right and saw a man standing just behind one of the massive stone pillars. Her heart raced as she recognized him as Henry Blackwater, and wondered what he was doing at her wedding. She had not invited him, and she did not think that Paul had either.

However, in the next moment, she saw Paul smiling at her, and she forgot about the unwanted guest as the ceremony began. When it came time for the Vicar to ask that any man having cause to deny the marriage should speak now, Hester held her breath. Would someone stand up and denounce her as the mother of an illegitimate child?

Thankfully, the moment passed without incident, and then she and Paul were signing the registry before walking out of church to the sound of bells proclaiming them man and wife. Outside, tenants and village people met them, and joined in the custom of showering them with rose petals and paper confetti.  An anxious mother pushed forward a small girl to present the bride with a straw doll bedecked with flowers, and another gave her a horseshoe tied with blue ribbons.

Then Paul was taking her arm, urging her into the carriage. As the horses moved off, he drew her into his arms, kissing her tenderly on the lips and caressing her cheek with his fingertips.

“My lovely bride,” he said in a voice husky with emotion. “At last you are mine—to have and to hold until death us do part.”

“Paul . . .” She tangled her fingers in his hair as he kissed her, responding as passionately as she had in bed the previous night. “I am so happy . . . so very happy.”

“I have decided to go down to my own estate this evening,” Paul told her. “We shall spend a few days there before we set out on our wedding trip. I thought we might go to Italy—if that appeals to you, my dearest? But first I want you to see your new home, and then you may order any changes you want made before we return.”