A Shameful Secret (34 page)

Paul’s eyes signalled his approval as she went downstairs. “Yes, that was exactly what I hoped for,” he murmured. “You will be the most beautiful lady present this evening, my darling.”

“I do not think so,” she said and smiled. “But it is a stunning gown and is sure to cause some comment—just as the seamstress hoped when she designed it for me.”

Paul offered his arm and she took it, proud of her ability to still the trembling that had started up inside her. However, her nerves increased during the carriage ride and she was beginning to tremble inside when the carriage drew up outside the large imposing house. There was a line of carriages, and they had to wait their turn to get down and walk up the red carpet to the house where their names were announced and the impressive butler indicated that they should proceed up the stairs.

Hester doubted that any uninvited guests would be allowed to enter here, though the reception rooms were overflowing. Their hostess had abandoned the receiving line, for music was playing and only a few stragglers were entering ahead of Paul and Hester, who had been almost the last.

They walked into a huge drawing room that was crowded with ladies and gentlemen, the sparkle of magnificent jewels flashing in the light of chandeliers. Hester was aware of heads turning to look at her and of the buzzing whisperings. She did not think that many of Charlotte’s guests were present that evening, though she did not turn her head to look, merely held Paul’s arm and kept her head high.

She noticed that some of the gentlemen acknowledged them, but the ladies appeared to be waiting for the moment. Hester felt cold all over. She had thought that Lady Jersey’s invitation meant that she had been accepted, but now she wondered if she had been invited simply so that her humiliation might be public and final.

And then, as Paul paused to speak to a gentleman who had approached him in order to be introduced, a sudden silence fell over the room. Into the silence, a woman’s voice spoke loudly and with outrage.

“I wonder that they have the effrontery to come here this evening. She is no better than a whore—and he is a murderer.”

Hester froze. She knew without even looking that the woman was Lady Blackwater, carrying out her threat to humiliate her in public.

Paul tensed beside her. She glanced at his face and saw that he was furious, and she sensed that he was about to answer Lady Blackwater’s challenge, but then a lady came towards them. She walked unhurriedly, a smile on her face, and when she drew near, she held out her hands to Hester.

“My dearest, Lady Crawford,” she said in a voice loud enough to carry. “I am so delighted that you could come this evening. And you, Paul, I am very glad to see you again. They tell me wonderful things about you. Prinny says that he thinks he shall give you the order of the garter. He is here this evening, and he wants to see you both.”

“Murderer!” Lady Blackwater cried again. “He does not deserve to be honored. He murdered my nephew.”

“That is a lie,” a gentleman said from behind them, and Hester glanced round to see a gentleman who had attended their wedding. It was Sir Justin Maybury. “I am a justice of the peace, and I witnessed it all. It was Mr. Blackwater who attempted murder, madam, and I have had the matter investigated thoroughly. I have to tell you that Henry Blackwater traded faulty cannon to the army. It was only the quick action of Captain Crawford in withdrawing them that saved more men dying and perhaps worse. Your nephew was a blackguard and a murderer, madam, and I suggest you apologize at once.”

“Apologize?” Lady Blackwater seemed to swell with indignation like a great toad. “I shall do no such thing.”

“Then I am afraid I must ask you to leave,” Sally Jersey said. “I know Captain Crawford well. He saved the lives of two gentlemen dear to me during the war, and I prefer his word to yours, ma’am. Is what Sir Justin said true, Captain Crawford?”

“On all counts, ma’am,” Paul said, a gleam in his eyes. “Henry Blackwater knew that I would expose him once I had the proof and so he tried to ruin and then kill me.”

“That is good enough for me, as I am sure it will be for all men and women of sense,” Lady Jersey said, smiling serenely. “Please come with me now if you will, for Prinny is impatient to meet you—and your lovely wife. What a wonderful gown, Hester. You must tell me the name of your seamstress, and in return, I shall give you vouchers.”

Lady Blackwater’s face looked like thunder. She tried to voice a protest, but no one listened. A buzz of laughter and chatter drowned her voice out, and several ladies and gentlemen turned their backs on her. Seeing that her outburst had gone against her, she stood for a moment glaring at the company and then stalked from the room.

“And good riddance too!” one wagg called after her, though his friends hushed him, but the feeling was mutual though unvoiced by most of the company.

Lady Jersey’s words had been heard and repeated throughout the overflowing rooms, and those privileged to be near enough were amused to see that Prinny seemed as delighted with Lady Crawford as with her husband. It was soon on everyone’s lips that Captain Crawford was to receive a high honor for his bravery in the recent war.

“Well,” said one lady who was generally taken to be a stickler for propriety, “it may not be quite the thing in general, but there is something rather delightful about a love story that ends well. Do you not think so, Lady Leominster?”

“I believe the child is adorable,” that lady remarked. “A true love child. Had it come out when Miss Weston was unmarried I could not have approved, but she seems a nice enough gel, and he has married her. I dare say she was quite the innocent in the story. I blame her father. If he had permitted the marriage at the time . . .”

Since the general opinion was much in line with this, Hester soon found herself surrounded by both ladies and gentlemen eager to congratulate her on her marriage and her husband’s impending honor.

She was besieged by partners wishing to dance with her, though she chose wisely, giving her favors to friends of her husband and to the sprinkling of his relations present that evening, while reserving three for him.

Uncle Staunton was one of the first to approach her for a dance. She smiled at him, because she knew he was her champion and there would always be a space on her card for him.

“I did not know you would be here this evening?”

“Sally is an old friend,” he told her with a wink. “I wangled an invitation once I knew you were coming. I’m not usually much for these affairs, but it was a special occasion this evening, m’dear.”

“Thank you for coming to support me, dearest uncle.”

“I doubt you’ll need much supporting from now on,” he said. “From what I can make out, you’re the latest rage. I think you’ll find you will have more invitations than you can manage next season.”

“Yes.” Hester smiled oddly. “If we come to town next season.”

“No reason why you shouldn’t.” Uncle Staunton saw the secret smile in her eyes and grinned broadly. “So that’s the way of it—always was a lucky dog, that nephew of mine. Congratulations, m’dear.”

“You will not say anything just yet, please? I am not certain and I have not spoken to Paul, but I think—”

“Well, if you think it, you are probably right,” he said. “And that should set the seal on things—particularly if you have a boy this time.”

“I shall do my best to oblige,” Hester said, her eyes dancing with laughter. “Though I cannot promise.”

“Well, I dare say there’s plenty of time,” he said and winked at her. “A healthy couple like you will probably produce a string of brats.”

Hester laughed as the music ended, and he took her back to her husband. Paul looked at her, seeing the glow in her eyes and the color in her cheeks.

“Enjoying yourself, my love?”

“Yes, very much,” she replied. “I have saved three dances for you, Paul, and I think this next is our first.”

It was a waltz, and as he took her in his arms, Hester felt as if she were floating. She felt so light, so free of care, that she felt as if she could dance forever.

It was late when they returned home that evening. Anna had waited up for her mistress, but as soon as she had helped her out of her gown, Hester sent her to bed. Sitting before her dressing table, she was brushing her long hair when Paul came to her. He took the brush as he often did, smoothing it over her shining tresses.

When he laid it down at last, Hester stood up and went into his arms lifting her face for his kiss. However, he looked down at her for a moment before taking her to him.

“Is it all right now?” he asked. “Are all the bad memories gone and the shame vanquished for good?”

“Yes, the shadows have gone,” she said. “I was offered vouchers for Almacks by two of the patronesses this evening, and I do not think that would have happened if my place was not secure.”

“I dare say a few of the tabbies will tear you to shreds in private—friends of Lady Blackwater. She may have a few left, though after tonight I think many will not bother to invite her to their homes. She would do better to retire to the country for she is not much liked.”

“The poor woman,” Hester said. “I hope people will not be unkind to her. I do not wish to see her ostracized, Paul. If we meet, I shall nod my head in passing, and so must you.”

“Indeed?” His eyes were bright with laughter. “And why must I, Hester? Am I to be petticoat ruled from now on?”

“You know better,” she said, “and I know better than to try, but you must humor me for a little. It is my right as . . . the mother of your child.”

“My . . .” His eyes darkened and then he smiled in delight. “Is it truly so, Hester? Are you carrying my son?”

“I believe I am with child,” she admitted. “I think it must have happened on our wedding eve. But I cannot be certain just yet, and I am not promising it will be a son, though I shall do my best.”

“A daughter will do just as well if you are safe,” he said and kissed her lightly on the nose. “You know that I love you, my darling, and though I am delighted with the news, it is you who will always come first with me.”

“Do you think Sylvia will feel a little jealous?” Hester said wrinkling her brow. “She has had us such a short time and now there will be a brother or sister to compete for attention.”

“We must show her that we love her just the same,” Paul said, “and while babies are very well, some time must pass before they can compete with our little charmer.”

“Yes, I know,” Hester said, her face glowing as she looked up at him. “We are so lucky, Paul. I feel as if I have everything that I could possibly want.”

“We have been blessed,” he said. He reached out to touch her face. “Do you think our son or daughter would object if I made love to you this night?”

“I do not think that he or she would object at all,” Hester said. “It will be some months yet before I begin to suffer any discomfort.”

“And this time you will have me to look after you,” he said, bending down to scoop her up in his arms and carry her gently to the bed. “This time you will be spoiled and loved, and you can be assured that both you and the babe will be loved.”

“Yes,” Hester said and laughed softly. “Why do they call a child born out of wedlock a love child do you think? I believe that any child born to us would be a child of love.”

“So wise and beautiful,” he said as he lay down beside her and gathered her to him. He stroked her hair for a moment, and then, running one hand down the satin arch of her back, he deftly removed her nightgown with the other. “And you will grow lovelier to me as our child quickens within you. I may have had a reputation as something of a rake before we married, but I promise that I shall never take a mistress as long as we live, my darling.”

“In that case I shall never take a lover,” she said, laughing huskily as she saw the fire in his eyes. “But you knew that anyway I think?”

“Do you know, Hester, I think that if you were not carrying my child, I might spank you.”

She gurgled with delight and snuggled against him, content that at last they could laugh and talk together, free of the shadows that had for so long hung over them.