A Sense of Duty: A Former Navy SEAL Falls in Love and Begins a New Journey with his Private Consulting Company: Dark Horse Guardians (26 page)

Ben held her so tightly she could hardly breathe. His face was now buried in her hair. His breathing became irregular. Lara knew he didn’t want her to witness the feelings that had overpowered him. Remaining in his strong embrace she clung to him as he heaved and coughed. Feeling guilty, Lara realized she had just ruined this highly anticipated homecoming for Ben. A few minutes passed. Then he gently pulled away. Ben's beautiful blue eyes lit up when he looked into her eyes. "I'll get the divorce, I promise." he said with his Irish brogue. There was a glimmer of hope in his eyes. As he tenderly embraced her, Ben leaned in and kissed her. His blue eyes closed as his lips lightly brushed hers, tentatively at first. Lara's lips slightly parted. Taking his cue, Ben teased Lara with a French kiss that sent a rush of heat through her entire body. Her heart was racing. Ben slipped the ring onto her finger as silent tears of joy slid down Lara's cheek. How did he know her ring size? He definitely knew her style. No one else in the world would have a ring like this one. "I have insured it for you." Ben smiled with dimples. "It cost a pretty penny."

Just as he said that, she handed him the gift she had purchased from Rupert. He opened it and held the ancient coin in his hand. "Oh God, Lara, I love it." The coin depicted a Celtic god. She imagined it was Ben in another life. The detail was amazing. The facial features and locks of hair were raised giving it a two dimensional texture. The gold was thick and heavy. The ancient coin was museum quality. "This has great meaning for me. I will carry it with me always as a talisman." He smiled and turned the coin over in his strong hand. "Merry Christmas, my handsome Navy SEAL Lieutenant," Lara said softly as she kissed his cheek and she finally whispered the words she knew he was longing to hear, "I love you."

Ben was exhausted and Einstein was already comfortable in Lara's parlor. It was Christmas day, and she felt an incredible surge of happiness inside
.  Ben was home safely from his overseas journey. Breaking the quiet din of the low television noise in the background, a text message chimed on Lara's phone. A quick glance told her it was a text from Sienna, Ben's wife. The message included her phone number, inviting Lara to call her. Stunned, Lara looked at the words again, wondering why Sienna would contact her on Christmas Day. A chill ran down her spine. She didn't want to disturb Ben. He was in a sleep coma on her sofa with Einstein. Lara pondered sending a reply to Sienna. She instinctively messaged back: "I will call you."

Later in the day, when she looked at her phone there was a voice mail message from Sienna. Lara listened to it. Sienna's voice was calm and soft in the recording. She invited Lara to talk with her before getting too involved with Ben. It sounded like a warning. Lara played Sienna's voice message three times before she got up the courage to make the phone call. Sienna answered on the second ring, her voice feminine and sweet. "Thank you for calling me, Lara. I know this isn't easy to do. I know Ben is involved with you. What I am going to tell you about Ben is strictly for your own benefit. First, you should know that Ben has never been a husband to me or a father to William. He never had time for us. He was too busy being a Navy SEAL. And, when he started his own business, I thought things might change but it only got worse. I just want you to know going into a relationship with him, it is a lonely life to be married to this guy. Think long and hard before you jump in. He's handsome and sexy, but women throw themselves at him constantly wherever he goes. You'll spend your life alone, feeling lucky to get a phone call from him. You'll never be able to hold him for long. He's a wild one."

Lara responded, "We are only friends. It's not what you think. I am not one of the women chasing Ben. I'm holding out for marriage. Yes, I know that I am considered a freak in this day and age, but I am not sleeping with your husband. Your marriage and divorce is your business. I am sorry to see anyone's marriage end. Believe me. I had nothing to do with his decision to divorce you. He was well into that long before I met him. Ben and I are neighbors and I'm a designer. He hired me to design his office at the university." Sienna listened intently. "That's interesting. Actually, I have someone texting me, and telling me a different story and I have received photos." Lara was shocked. Who was texting Sienna? Sending her photos? What photos? Lara spoke with conviction, "This is strange. I don't know who is sending you photos and text messages. But, I'm telling you the truth." Sienna seemed to hesitate; maybe she wanted to believe Lara. Then she abruptly said, "I need to hang up now, someone's at the door." Lara had a feeling there would be more phone calls like this.

As Ben continued napping, Lara slipped into his apartment to make it tidy. She had shopped and stocked his fridge
a few days before and placed fresh flowers in every room. Lara wrote a note to Ben on his kitchen chalkboard,
"Missed you terribly, but got what I wanted for Christmas - you! All my love, Lara".
Sienna's words burned into her brain: you'll never be able to hold him for long. She hurried back to her apartment. Ben and Einstein had not moved. They were both snoring. Lara snapped a photo of them with her phone. They looked so innocent sleeping on the sofa together. Einstein was so happy to be with Ben. And, Ben looked peaceful. His black hair was slicked back and his skin was wind burned. His sleeping face had an innocence that melted her heart. Lara could not stop herself from wondering what their child might look like. She had the most wonderful Christmas gift any woman could possibly want: Ben napping with Einstein on her sofa. She cooked Eggs Benedict for Ben earlier and he polished off the Christmas cookies she had baked with Eric.

Ben was sprawled awkwardly on the sofa. Lara watched his chest rise and fall. To make him more comfortable she gently placed a soft pillow beneath his head. With his beautiful blue eyes closed, she noted how black his brows and lashes were. He hadn't shaved for days. As Lara removed his shoes and socks he did not move. His six-foot two-inch frame was lying before her and she contemplated what he looked like without clothes. She carefully unbuttoned his shirt examining his chest and torso. He did not have a tattoo on his chest, but he had plenty of scars. She couldn't stop herself from running her hand over his powerful chest. Her fingers traced his torso, skimming over his solid abdominal core. She placed his dangling arm upon the sofa. He briefly stirred, but he was sleeping soundly. She had an overwhelming desire to lie upon his chest and listen to his heartbeat. She slipped his shirt off one arm and then the other, admiring the powerfully elongated muscles in his biceps and forearms. She ran her finger over the Celtic cross tattoo on his right bicep. Her hands followed the curves and contours of the muscles of his arms, admiring scars and all. Even his wrists had muscles. She felt him move slightly as she removed his shirt, but he was out cold. She scrutinized the scars that covered his chest and arms, curious but afraid to know what caused them. The scars fell into three categories: bullet wounds, lacerations, and burns. The scar tissue left pink disfigured flesh and pock marks. She lightly caressed each scar with her fingers. Carefully, she unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. He stirred but did not wake. She noticed he wore boxers and had a knife tucked inside his waistband. She gently slipped his pants off. She did not touch his legs fearing she might wake him. But she
studied the contour of his perfectly formed thighs, knees and calves. God, even his ankles had scars. Feeling she had already gone too far, Lara took a cotton blanket and covered the sleeping warrior.

Being a realist, she knew there were serious impediments to having Ben as her husband. Top on the list was Sienna. Then, there were Ben's jealous outbursts about Eric. And, there was Eliot Stone. She sensed Ben's dislike of Eliot. But, an ever looming barrier was Ben's secret life and his dedication to Dark Horse. His frequent absences would eventually take a toll on any relationship. She knew she had to tell him about the conversation with Sienna.

Ben woke from his nap and
Lara noticed his smile. "Hey what happened here, my shirt is off and my pants are gone…." Lara was laughing. She confessed, "I was curious and you were sound asleep…." Ben smiled with his whole face, responsive to the idea. "Hey, let's do this exploration when I am
awake
. I think it would be much more enjoyable for me that way." Lara smiled, "Not just yet." Ben was treated to a perfectly prepared Christmas dinner, planned by Lara especially for him. "This is the best tenderloin I've ever had," he smiled as he ate voraciously. She loved watching Ben eat. He enjoyed food and was not shy about expressing his pleasure. His favorite dessert waited in her kitchen, fresh berries and whipped cream. As they fed one another, she playfully dabbed whipped cream on his nose, then on his lips. He placed whipped cream on Lara's lips with his finger and she playfully licked it off. Ben took a deep breath, "Be careful, young lady, you are in dangerous waters right now…"

~Ben~

The nap and wonderful dinner was exactly what Ben needed to restore his depleted energy. Lara had a way of knowing what he needed. When he woke from his nap, he was more than surprised that Lara had removed most of his clothing. There was no doubt in his mind that she was becoming interested in him physically. He imagined her examining him as he slept and smiled to himself. He wished he could have been slightly awake to have observed her reaction.

With regret, Ben replayed the outburst he delivered earlier. He was insatiably jealous with the thought of Eric receiving Lara's affection. Just knowing she was in her apartment alone with another man drove him crazy. Ben savored every moment with Lara. He had waited two long years to meet her. His overseas trip seemed like an eternity while he was away from her. There was no doubt Lara was the woman he wanted to marry. She was an incredible beauty, but the fact that she was gorgeous was frosting on the cake for him. It was Lara's mind, personality and soul he was in love with. She was sharp, witty, intelligent, sensitive, charming, and trustworthy and could keep up with him on every subject. Although she was defensive and careful at first, once she trusted him, he found her to be gentle and kind. Lara exceeded his expectations in every way. He sometimes felt he wasn't worthy of her. He knew he loved her more than any other guy possibly could. He reminded himself of his mission: to marry her.

~Lara~

Lara's phone rang. After glancing at it, she shut the ringer off and ignored it. This piqued Ben's curiosity, "Aren't you going to answer that?" Lara had to tell him. "Not right now. I've been having conversations with Sienna. Please don't be angry. During these calls, Sienna talks and I listen. She talks a lot about herself. Actually, I think it has been a positive outlet for her." Lara held her breath as she watched Ben's face. He wasn't so much angry as surprised. "Why the hell is she calling you?" He wondered aloud. "I think, originally, she was trying to run you down and interfere with our relationship. But, lately the calls have been different. She talks more about her life and fear of losing William. I think she feels very much alone." Ben said he didn't like the idea, but if the conversations stayed positive and non-threatening, he saw no harm. "Please, Lara, take into consideration her frame of mind if she says anything negative about me." Lara sighed. "I don't view this as a burden or intrusion. I am genuinely concerned about her welfare. After all, she is the mother of your son. If it gets out of hand, I'll let you know. In fact, I will tell you what the conversations are about. I can tape them, if you'd like." Ben nodded, "Keep me posted. I won't get too worried just yet…I trust your judgment."

Due to sheer exhaustion, Ben was ready to crash on Lara's sofa but she convinced him that his place was bigger, more comfortable, and ready for his return. Lara agreed to come with him. Walking into his condo Ben's face lit up with surprise. His laundry had been done, kitchen cleaned and stocked with fresh food, and the rooms filled with flowers. But, it was the note written on his kitchen chalk board that touched him. "Lara, you are spoiling me." he said with pleasure. "Do you know which words mean the most to me in that message?
All my love.
That's what I want, Lara,
all of your love
." She was thrilled to make him joyful for that moment. Simultaneously she was thinking the same, that's what I want, Ben, all of your love. You need to get that divorce before I can give you all of myself.

Gingerly, Lara delved into the delicate subject of his secret employment, asking about his recent trip. Ben worked long hours, morning, noon, and night. "So, can you tell me what you are doing, or would you have to kill me?" she asked jokingly. Ben looked at her with a little smile and said, "You're not far off, saying that." He continued to be evasive when it came to this subject. Lara had to find some way to engage him. "Just exactly what
is
it that you do?" she finally asked point blank. Ben wrinkled his brow trying to avoid her direct question. After drawing a deep breath he said, "Lara, I really cannot give you details because what I am doing is classified." Not satisfied, she pressed him further, "Ben, I am your confidant. Whatever is spoken between us will remain between us." He still dodged the subject. She sensed he was squirming inside, trying to find a way to change the subject, and that's exactly what he did. "I'll tell you this, Lara," he said with a wink and a smile, "if you let me take you to a faraway place on a white sandy beach for spring break, I will tell you everything you need to know. In fact, I will let you torture a confession out of me." She smiled. "What did you have in mind, Ben?" She noticed the excitement in his voice, "I'm so glad you asked. I have a little tropical bungalow, really the closest thing to heaven on earth, and would love to take you with me."