A red tainted Silence (31 page)

Jonathan clapped my knee with one hand. “You’ve still got me, baby bro. You know that. By the way, like the earrings. Sexy.”

I grinned. “Thanks. Think so?”

He nodded. “Yeah, maybe I should get mine done.”

“Amanda --”

“Would love it. Believe me.”

I hesitated, then hugged him. “Thanks, Jon. For everything. Nicholas and I really appreciate all you’re doing for us.”

He held up one hand, stopping me. “Don’t say another word. I might get a swelled head and it would burst, and then where would you be. Heard from Mom?” I took another drag on my cigarette -- it kinda burned my throat. Really wasn’t used to this at all. “No, but she’s out with some friends tonight. I’ll talk to her tomorrow, I guess.” I grimaced. “Adam came to the house.”

“Oh, he did? What did dear brother Adam have to say?” I leaned back on the steps, took another puff, and looked up into the darkening sky. It looked heavier than usual, like we were going to maybe get some rain. A prophetic rumble echoed in the distance, followed by a flash of lightning. “Dear old Adam told me he’d give Nicholas, and me by default, two weeks to get up to speed. And, what’s more, he placed another caveat on Nick’s participation.”

Jonathan snorted. “A caveat? Like what?”

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We heard a voice call out from the kitchen, “You’d better not be smoking, Jonathan Ashwood --”Jonathan dropped his cigarette like a firecracker and stamped it out with his shoe.

“Uh, of course not, Amanda darling, why would you think I’d be doing something so vile, so gross, so nasty?”

“Gee, I can’t imagine why.”

“You love me anyway; I know it.”

“That’s beside the point. You guys need to hustle if you’re going to get their stuff in before that storm hits.”

Jonathan leaned toward me, whispering loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. “She loves me anyway, really. Can you fucking believe it?” He stood and held out his hand. “But she’s right. There’s a storm coming. Let’s get your stuff in. I want to show you your room, too. Think you’ll like it.”

I let him pull me up. “Okay.”

“So, what’s this stipulation Adam came up with?” Jonathan asked as he and I dragged my guitars and the amp into the house.

I glanced toward the kitchen, following after Jon. No dark head emerged to check our progress. He set my guitars down in the living room. My eyes immediately rested on a blank corner. “Say, can I put my keyboards there?”

“What keyboards?”

“Andy’s going to let me have some to use until I get stuff settled with the insurance company.”

He grinned. “That Andy’s such a trip. Sure, you can put them there. What did Adam say?”

We left the house again and walked back to the car and opened the other side, pulling the driver’s seat back and grabbing Nick’s box. “Oh, just that he’d better not hear that any of the guys know that ... that Nicholas and I, are, you know --”

“Banging each other?”

I slammed the box into his arms and started to snarl, but found myself nodding instead.

“Basically. He doesn’t want the other guys to know.”

“Afraid of that fag band label. I know, he told me.” I grabbed my suitcase and followed after Jonathan. “How did he end up like this, so full of hate, Jonathan?” I said. “I don’t understand it. Why does he hate gays so much?”

“I don’t know, baby bro, but he does.” He paused. “It’s likely best this way. The other guys not knowing, I mean.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

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“Although honestly?” he said, looking serious. “I’m not sure if Nicholas will be able to keep his hands off you. He’s a touchy-feely kind of guy. That’s not easy to hide.” I grimaced at that. “Yeah, I know.”

“And you react to it. I can see it every time you look at him, and it’s not just because I know what I’m seeing. You’d best be careful, Brandon, if you want to keep this under wraps.

I don’t think it’ll be easy on you.”

I thought about how a mere touch, a mere heated look, so easily sent me tumbling over the edge. I felt my dick stir from just thinking about it stirring. I gulped. “I know.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about it here. Amanda’s got a thing for gay guys and is excited about you being here. She’ll love to see you draped all over each other. I could barely peel her away from the window earlier.”

I blushed at that, frantically wondering what all she would’ve seen. I gulped, remembering how Nicholas had touched me -- “Shit.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t think she saw anything. Much.”

“Uh, does she live here, too?”

He grinned. “Let’s just say she has her own side of the closet, her own drawers in my dresser, and her toothbrush has taken up semi-permanent residence.”

“I like her, Jonathan. Going to marry her?”

He nodded. “I think so, baby bro. I think so. Come on. This way.” We went up a flight of stairs to the second floor. “Bathroom’s across from your room. Sorry about that. You’ll have to do the mad dash. I have my own bathroom, though, so at least it’ll just be for you guys.”

“That’s okay.”

“My room’s across the way. Ronnie’s is downstairs. He’s hardly ever home, though. Has his own bathroom, too. Careful of the banister, by the way. It’s a little rickety.” Jonathan pushed open the door to what was to be our bedroom. I followed after him, my surprise growing as I took in what was to be my and Nick’s first home together. “Wow,” I said.

Jonathan grinned. “Thought you’d like it.”

I did. And Nicholas would love it. In the middle of the room -- taking up most of the space -- was a giant four-poster bed. A soft white coverlet graced the mattress, with a bunch of pillows in lacy pillowcases placed at the head. Yeah, the bed was scratched a bit, and the mattress looked somewhat lumpy, but it was a beautiful bed.

“It’s Ronnie’s mom’s old bed. He just brought it home today.”

“For us?” I said, incredulous.

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Jonathan nodded. “Yeah, she was getting a new one, and Ronnie jumped on taking this one. I hope you appreciate us, boy. It was a bitch dragging this up here. All he asks is that you don’t do too many sexual gymnastics on it. He’d like it back someday.” I was too amazed at the rest of the room to blush at that. The room itself was small.

Blue-flowered wallpaper covered the walls, peeling here and there, but not too badly.

White curtains covered the windows. There was one bedside table and a dresser with brass handles, a single desk, a single closet. Neither of us had that much, though, so that didn’t matter. Pictures hung on the walls, and a nice gentleman’s toilet set graced the dresser.

A thick rug lay across the wooden floor that simply invited me to kick off my shoes and sink my feet into it.

“Hey, guys? Where are you?”

“Up here,” I called out. “Come see this, Nicholas.” I heard the sound of footsteps running up the stairs -- two sets.

“Like it then?” Jonathan said as the other two approached. He darted for the closet and opened it.

“Hey, Brandon, taste this -- Oh, wow! This is our room?”

“Yes, I do like it ...” My voice trailed off as Jonathan pulled something out of the closet and set it on the bed. I set my box down. “Jonathan,” I said, shock making my voice crack.

“Oh, wow,” Nicholas said again, but now his gaze was focused on what mine was focused on. Jonathan stood beside the bed, grinning.

Amanda came into the room, bearing a spoon with chocolate on it. But I was too embarrassed by her presence and what I could see inside the basket to do more than yelp and leap for it, scooping it behind my back so she couldn’t see.

Jonathan burst out laughing. “Uh, Brandon, Amanda was with me when I bought that stuff. It’s a housewarming gift from us both, you know.”

“Jonathan!” I moaned, melting in embarrassment right on the spot.

“Let me see,” Nicholas said, pulling the basket from my frozen fingers and jumping on the bed. “Sit down on our bed, Brandon! I can’t believe it! It’s beautiful! Isn’t this fantastic? I can’t wait to try it out, can you?”

I shook my head, giving up as he flopped himself back onto the mattress, arms and legs flung wide. He sighed happily. And I had to smile, too, remembering the crappy bed he’d had at the shelter. He sat up again, grabbing the basket and digging into its contents. I blushed as he held up a book, flipped through it, and tossed it aside again. I think the cover said Gay Sex Tips, or something like that. I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked askance at my brother. I was going to kill him.

“Taste this, Brandon,” Amanda said with an understanding grin, offering me her spoon.

I looked from her to Nicholas, but he was concentrating on the basket’s goods. “I don’t know --”

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He looked up. “Go on, babe. You’ll love it. It’s chocolate mousse, just for you. And stop blushing. This is Amanda we’re talking about. Don’t be so embarrassed.” Obviously not embarrassed himself, he dug into the basket again, pulling out a package of condoms. He held them up. “Wonderful! My favorites!”

Of course he said that right as Amanda made me take a taste from the spoon. I sucked the chocolate in wrong and started to cough.

She beat on my back. “You okay, Brandon?”

I waved her away. “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.” I wiped the chocolate from my mouth, half-dead with embarrassment. “Nicholas, please. Look at that stuff later.” Jonathan snickered. “We’ll go put the dishes on the table, leave you boys to check out your room in peace. Come on down in a minute, though.” He wagged his eyebrows at me.

“Don’t go trying any of the goodies on for size just yet. Supper will get cold.” I dropped my chin to my chest as my brother and Amanda left, closing the door behind them. I rubbed the back of my neck with one hand. I was mortified. I couldn’t believe he ...

that she ...

Nicholas patted the bed next to him. “Come on, look with me. I can’t believe they did this.” He noticed I hadn’t moved. “Brandon? You okay?” He pushed up from the bed and stood in front of me, lifted my chin up, then smiled gently at me. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.”

My face felt on fire. “I -- I’m just not used to this yet, Nicholas.”

“I know. And I’m really sorry. Forgiven?” His blue eyes danced expectantly, and that was it for me.

I nodded. “Forgiven,” I said. “I can’t resist those baby blues of yours, you know,” I said sheepishly.

“And I can’t resist those, uh, mossy greens of yours.” He kissed me, then -- but when I didn’t respond right away, he threw his arms around my shoulders and gave me a look I’d seen enough of already to know he meant business.

“Kiss me, Brandon. Now. A real kiss.” With a groan, I obeyed. Why that tone of voice, that look, melted me into submission, I didn’t know. His lips met mine -- soft, supple, grinning with triumph. I think he got off on ordering me about as much as I got off being ordered about. I slid my hands around his hips, memorizing the feel of him encircled within my grasp. My embarrassment started to melt away until it was all but forgotten. I slid my hand under his shirt to feel the silky soft skin beneath and ran my hands up his spine. He sighed, falling against me, almost purring with his pleasure -- a strangely erotic mixture of sex kitten and commando. That was my Nicholas, back then. I deepened the kiss and he stole it from me, nipping my mouth. To keep me in line, I guess. I backed off, letting him lead, responding to each foray of his tongue into my mouth, each tender brush of his lips on my now aching ones. Always following. Kissing Nicholas was everything I’d hoped for -- and 182

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better, as my body rocked in response to everything about him -- his scent, his touch, his kiss.

“Better?” I murmured, breaking away.

He nodded, pleased. “Much better. But you smoked outside, didn’t you?” I nodded. “Sorry. Toothbrush isn’t unpacked yet.” He sighed. “I’ll suffer in silence, then. I do think we’ll need even more practice, though.”

“With what? Kissing? I thought that was pretty good.”

“It was, of course. But there’s always room for improvement.” He kissed me on the cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you. I promise.” His face brightened. “And hey, guess what else is in the basket, speaking of promises,” he said, kissing the corner of my mouth with a casual nonchalance.

Jonathan was right. I didn’t know how Nicholas would keep his distance from me when we were around other people. I hated that he would have to, too. I didn’t think our secret could last very long at all.

He kissed me again, then pulled my head down so he could whisper in my ear, his warm breath fanning gently against my neck. “They bought us some lube, too. I haven’t forgotten my promise. Have you?”

* * * * *

Condoms enough to last at least a month. And the lube -- not one tube, no. Not my brother.

He had to get three. “Variety!” Nicholas had said. “Very thoughtful.” I’d thrown a condom at him for that. He’d just grinned suggestively and stuck it in his pocket.

His promise flared in my mind, heating my body as I sat across the table from him and tried to eat. The food really was good, but the sauce almost burned my tongue. Nicholas winked at me and blew me a kiss, his sloe-eyed gaze traveling with deliberate strokes down my chest. “Hot, Brandon?”

“Nicholas,” I warned.

He smiled sweetly at me. “I was talking about the sauce.” Jonathan and Amanda exchanged a knowing grin. I about died. I’d glared at Jonathan when we’d come to the table, but he’d just smiled and passed me the spaghetti sauce. “Ours is with meat,” he’d said, smirking. He nearly got it in his face.

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Finally dinner was done, and after Jonathan and I cleaned the kitchen (something we hadn’t bargained on -- Nicholas and Amanda disappeared into the living room to talk), Nicholas and I changed clothes, brushed our teeth, and left for his friend Karen’s house, lightning chasing after us the whole way.

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As we headed for the neighborhood where Nick’s friend Karen lived with her grandfather, my apprehension grew. Our drive was taking us further and further away from my comfort zone -- until I turned twelve, I’d rarely traveled out of my own neighborhood.