A red tainted Silence (15 page)

Nicholas. My Nicholas. Asleep in my bed.

Simply fucking amazing.

I sat back in the chair and watched him for a while, the rise and fall of his chest. He moved once, startling me as he flung one arm to the side and stretched across the bed.

A bed hog. Great. And a violent one, too.

I longed to climb in with him anyway, but knew that would be stupid -- he’d let me in some, but I knew that, thanks to Percy, I’d be foolish to rush him.

Rush him toward what, though? What did I want from him?

I sighed as I stood. I wasn’t entirely sure myself what I wanted from him. I wanted his voice, his talent, his creativity. I smiled. I wanted to kiss him and hold him. Beyond that was uncharted territory for me. I’d never even been with a guy before, didn’t know the first thing about having sex with a guy beyond the basic mechanics, except that I wanted to do it with Nicholas.

The thought sent a wave of sizzling heat racing through me, but I didn’t even know who to ask to find out what I needed to know to follow through. I couldn’t ask Nicholas, either. I didn’t want him to think I was an idiot.

What a novice.

I left the room, closing the door softly behind me. I felt restless, antsy. I found myself walking to the kitchen again, then veered toward my piano, shiny and untouched, in the front room. I stood for a moment, staring at it. This was it, then, I thought as I flexed my fingers. I had my singer. We had a future. This was it, finally, what I’d been wanting for so long -- to create music and give it to the world.

In a way, the thought of what might possibly come terrified me, but I pushed the fear aside. With Nicholas as my partner, I could handle it. I could handle anything.

How naïve I was then. Blissfully naïve.

I whirled around and closed the door behind me, then closed the other door leading to the living room. Hopefully that would be enough barriers so as to not wake Nicholas.

Then I sat down and, for the first time in too many months to count, brought my baby grand to life.

* * * * *

82 Carolyn Gray

Colorado -- Present Day

“Mr. Ashwood?”

I looked up from my laptop at the nurse, then glanced at Nicholas. He still slept, his arm flung to the side as it had been that day he’d first slept in my bed. “Yes?”

“Your cousin is here to see you. I told her Mr. Kilmain was sleeping --”

“Jenny?”

I set my laptop aside after saving the file and stood, grabbing my crutches. With a last glance at Nicholas, I left the room, closing the door behind me. Jenny stood in the hallway, her hands clasped together, a goofy grin on her face. I hurried over to her, laughing as she all but jumped into my arms.

“You came,” I said, wrapping my arms around her as best I could without toppling both of us over.

She squeezed me tight, then kissed me. “Of course I did. I told you I would. Are you okay, Bean? I’ve been so worried about you.”

I dropped my head to her shoulder, pulling her tighter, taking care not to smash her swollen belly. I couldn’t believe she’d come all the way to Colorado so close to having her baby. I couldn’t speak over the lump in my throat as I cradled her against me.

“Hey, hey, Bean, it’s okay,” she whispered, stroking the back of my neck. “Is Nicholas okay?”

I nodded, took a deep breath, and pulled back. “Sorry,” I said, wiping my face of the unexpected onslaught of tears. “Been a long day.” She reached up and brushed the moisture off my cheeks. “I heard. I talked to your brother.”

“He’s bringing Barkley tomorrow. Nicholas won’t be able to fly for a while, so we thought it’d be best to bring his dog out here.”

“Good. Where will you guys stay?”

“I don’t know yet. I don’t know when they’ll let Nicholas go. I’ve got Marisa looking into it.”

She cocked an eyebrow at me. “So, she’s back in your life. How do you feel about that?” I shrugged. “Okay, I guess. She and I will have to have a long talk. I think she’ll be shocked when she finds out I have no intention of leaving Nicholas again.”

“She’ll be freaked.”

I grinned. “Probably. Yeah.”

Jenny laughed. “Is there somewhere we can talk for a while? A coffee shop maybe?” I glanced at the cop hovering nearby. I hadn’t noticed his presence before. “We can go to my room. I don’t want to leave the floor.”

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“You’re not in there with Nicholas?”

“I’m usually in there, yeah, but I have my own room.” I led the way, and with a pointed look at the cop, I closed the door. “My own personal bodyguard,” I said to Jenn.

“Cute.”

I rolled my eyes. “Not my type. How are you feeling now, anyway?”

“You mean, how’s Bubba?” she said, patting her stomach. “He’s fine. Big. A monster in the making.”

“I can’t believe Rex let you come.”

“Like he had a choice? You needed me. Besides, he came, too. He’s parking the rental, but he’ll leave us alone for a while.”

I lay on my bed as she pulled a chair up and sat beside me. I turned onto my side so I could see her. I yawned. “Sorry about that. This was a mistake. I wasn’t tired until I lay down.”

“You can take a nap if you like. I’ll watch over you.” I reached my hand out and grasped her hand. “You always have. But I can’t. Press conference is in less than half an hour.”

She grimaced. “What are you going to say, do you know?”

“Yeah.”

She waited, then huffed in exasperation. “So --” I laughed, releasing her hand. “We’re back together.”

“For real? I mean, you and Nicholas?”

“Yes. For real. Me and Nicholas.”

She squealed, standing awkwardly and grabbing me for a hug. “I am so happy for you!

Everything’s really okay?”

I shrugged. “We’re working on it.”

“Which means what? Geesh, Brandon, this is like pulling teeth!” she said as she sat back down. “Tell me!”

“Which means we’re going to try writing together again. And living together again.” She sucked in her breath then beamed at me. “You’re kidding. No, you’re not. Are you sure? How?”

“I don’t know. I don’t care. Whatever it takes. I’m not letting him go again, Jenny.”

“Does he know about the tape?” she asked softly.

“Yeah. I told him today.”

“How’d he take it?”

84 Carolyn Gray

I looked down at my hand, and clenched it. “Not good. He was angry.”

“He had a right to be, Brandon.”

“He was mad at me.”

She leaned forward, grimacing at Bubba. “Darn kid,” she muttered, then took my hand.

“He was mad at you for not telling him?”

“Yes, at first. But he forgave me,” I said, closing my eyes.

“Oh, Brandon. I’m so sorry you had to go through this.” I smiled sadly at her. “It’s okay. The guy I killed wasn’t Blevins, Jenn.” She laid a hand on her stomach and sat back, her face registering her shock. “Brandon, no.”

I grimaced, then lay on my back and stared at the ceiling. I was still tender, but damn, it felt good. “He was just a fall guy, Jenn. Someone paid to torture Nicholas. Blevins is in some jail in Los Angeles.”

“How long has he been there?”

“Eight years. It wasn’t him, Jenn. All this time it wasn’t him,” I said, my voice registering my continued shock. I still couldn’t believe it.

“The cops have no idea who was really behind the blackmail?” I gritted my teeth, shaking my head. “No. Not yet.”

“What did Nicholas say after he forgave you?”

I turned my head and smiled at her. “He’s tough, Jenn. He’s ready to do whatever it takes to find who did this to him.”

“To you both.”

I nodded. “To us both.”

There was a knock on the door. I sighed. “Come in.” The cop walked in. At my worried look, he raised a hand. “Detective Anderson is here, says everything is ready downstairs.”

“Is Nicholas awake?”

“Yes, sir. He says he’ll meet you at the elevator.” I looked at Jenny. “Want to come along?”

She grinned and stood with an ease belying her advanced state of pregnancy. I still couldn’t believe it -- my Sprout, having a kid. Her own little sprout. I was going to spoil him rotten.

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything. This is going to be entertaining, I have a feeling.”

“You’re right about that, Jenn. You’re right about that.” I picked up my crutches and stood. As we met up with Nicholas in his wheelchair outside the elevator, I realized this press conference could be dangerous, too. Whoever was A Red-Tainted Silence

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after us could be watching every move we made, everything we said. It had to be someone close to Nicholas to know about Barkley. To take that picture and anticipate his reaction.

And only a handful of people were capable of doing that.

86 Carolyn Gray

“All right, Mr. Ashwood. Here you go. Have a seat.” I looked down at Nurse Goodall from where I stood balanced on my crutches next to Jenny (who was mugging with Nicholas) outside the elevator. The nurse had her hands on an empty wheelchair.

“Excuse me?” I said.

She pointed to the chair and gave me a mock glare. Nicholas looked at me, finally letting Jenny go. His eyes lit up. “All right, caravan!”

“I can walk,” I protested, even as four hands -- the nurse’s and Jenny’s -- forced me to sit. “I’m fine, guys.”

“Too bad. You’re still a patient, too, you know,” Jenny said. She took my crutches as Nurse Goodall arranged my feet on the foot rests.

“I am perfectly capable of --”

“Hush, Brandon. Enjoy the ride,” Jenny said.

“This is ridiculous,” I muttered. “It’s just a broken foot.” Nicholas leaned toward the nurse. “You may have to give him a shot. Calm him down.”

“I have some Valium,” she said, her eyes twinkling.

“Good stuff,” Nicholas said. “Might do the trick, but then he may start drooling in front of the reporters --”

I groaned. “I give, I give. Can we just get on with this?” The elevator arrived. Nurse Goodall pushed Nicholas inside. As I tried to roll myself in, I got stuck. This really was ridiculous; it wasn’t like we were going to have to cross the entire building, and I was having no trouble navigating the crutches anymore.

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One of the cops -- Mutt, Nicholas called him (the other was Jeff, so Mutt and Jeff they became) -- pushed me in the rest of the way until I was face to face with Nicholas. Both cops were imposing, solid men, with huge biceps and pecs that made Nicholas raise his eyebrows in appreciation (which earned him a whomp from my good foot). Jeff was a pale redhead, Mutt dark, Hispanic, I thought. They would be our guards for as long as we were in Durango and needed them.

I was glad of it.

“Okay, Brandon?” Jenny rested one hand on my shoulder and I looked up at her --

finding myself eye to eye with her belly.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Are you sure this isn’t twins?” I muttered. “You’re huge.” She popped me on the shoulder, her expression annoyed until I kissed her on the stomach.

“Sorry, Hoss.”

“That better be him you’re calling Hoss, and not me,” she said.

As the elevator traveled down, I looked at Nicholas. “You look quite fetching,” I told him. And he did. He had on a navy velvet robe, red satin pajamas, and house shoes.

I just had on my cargos, a t-shirt, and a tennis shoe. As always, Nicholas outshined me -

- but I didn’t care.

Nicholas smoothed his robe. “Thank you. I thought so, too.”

“Hair looks good. Who did it?”

“Our nurse of a thousand talents.” Nicholas bent his head down, spreading his hair.

“My gray roots are showing, though.”

I laughed. “We’ll touch it up when we get out of here.”

“I think you should let it grow out,” Jenny said. “I like it the natural look.” Nicholas looked at me. I shrugged. “I don’t care. I like you gray. I like you dark-headed.

You could be bald, for all I care.”

A grin split his face, bringing color to his cheeks. “Really?” I smiled as the elevator lurched to a stop. “Really.” He pushed his hair back from his forehead. “Good, ’cause I may be headed that direction.”

“Everybody hold,” Jeff said. “I’ll check the hallway before we proceed.” Nicholas rolled his eyes as Jeff let the doors open and stuck his head out. “SWAT team wannabe,” Nicholas whispered to me.

Jeff turned and frowned. Nicholas stared up at the ceiling, all innocence.

After a moment Jeff said to his partner, “All clear. We can proceed.” 88 Carolyn Gray

I caught Nick’s gaze. He was smiling, but the worry in his eyes was unmistakable. “It’ll be all right, Nicholas.”

His smile faltered. He didn’t look as reassured as I’d hoped. In fact, the closer we got to the room where the conference would be held, the more worried it looked like he was getting. The more defeated. By the time we reached the hallway that led to our destination, he’d shrunk down in his chair and looked lost, a little boy, hurt and scared.

We shouldn’t have done this today. One more day wouldn’t have hurt, would’ve been better for Nicholas. And for me.

We turned the corner and rolled down a narrow hallway, me in front of Nicholas, Mutt leading the way. The hallway was empty until we passed a nurses’ station -- all eyes were on us, and more than one nurse whispered as we passed by. I only heard snatches, but it was enough.

I found I couldn’t care less.

“Here we go,” Mutt said, opening the door. Inside the room, heads swiveled toward us, looking through the doorway, anticipation and excitement on their faces. Dozens of faces.

Cameras, lights -- microphones had been set up on a table in front of them all, with room for us to be wheeled in.

My first instinct was to cringe. Draw back. Turn away. But Jenny squeezed my shoulder, reassuring me. I was glad she was here.

I glanced briefly at the crowd and noted one face with relief. “Jenny,” I said, motioning to her. “See that woman there? The African American woman in the white sweater?”

“Yes, what about her?”

“Would you ask her to come out here, please? And close the door behind you, okay? If you get inundated, tell them we’ll be there in a moment.” She looked at me, curious, but nodded and entered the room, closing the door behind her.