A Real Disaster (18 page)

The phone rang once, twice, and on the
third ring he finally picked up. I could hear a crowd in the background.

“Hello?” he said into the phone.

His voice was loud and I winced at the
volume.

“Hey Nash,” I said.

I didn’t speak as loudly as he did because
I didn’t want my voice to carry through the dead of night. I didn’t need campus
security to hear me and come investigate what was going on.

“Hello?” he said again, obviously not
hearing me.

“Nash, it’s Lily,” I said, this time
louder.

“Lily? Hey what’s up?”

If he was upset to hear from me I
couldn’t tell. He sounded happy and alive; as if he didn’t have a care in the
world.

“What’s going on? It’s four in the morning,
shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

It was like the whole incident didn’t
happen. Nash spoke to me the same way he always did. There was no awkwardness,
no silence. Yet, he never called me.

“I… I missed you,” I said, deciding to
tell the truth. “I wanted to see how your set was. Did you do a good job?”

“The crowd seemed to like it. They asked
for three encores. Can you fucking believe it? Three!”

“That’s great! I wish I was there to see
it!”

We both knew why I didn’t go; I didn’t
feel comfortable going to see him not knowing whether he was mad at me or not.
Especially since he hadn’t talked to me since the beach incident.

Okay, he was mad at me.

“So… Do you want to come over tomorrow?
I can make breakfast in the common area or something?”

“No,” Nash said and my heart dropped to
my stomach. “Don’t worry about making me breakfast. How about I pick you up and
we go to breakfast together. I think we need to talk.”

The dreaded four
words.
If guys thought it was hard hearing those words from a girl, it was even harder
being the girl hearing it from a guy. I could just imagine all the things he
wanted to say to me. First it would be a breakup, like I was expecting. I
freaked him out.

“Sure,” I said, trying to keep my voice
light. “See you around eleven?”

It wasn’t exactly breakfast time but I
had a feeling that Nash would want to sleep as late as possible.

“No,” he said again. “I’ll see you at
eight. Sweet dreams Lily.”

He cut off the call before I could say
anything back. With a knot of dread forming in my stomach, I headed back to my
dorm room to wait in agonizing silence until I saw Nash.

*
         
*
         
*

“Morning sexy,” someone said softly in
my ear.

I opened my eyes to see Nash standing
over me, dark circles under his eyes and a sleepy smile on his face.

 
“Good
morning,” I mumbled.

I yawned and stretched, cracking my
back.

“What time is it?”

“Eight forty-five. I wanted to let you
sleep a little longer.”

“Thanks,” I said, confused.

 
I
didn’t remember falling asleep and yet there I was, waking up to Nash’s soft
voice. Staring at Nash, I tried to figure out if he was happy to see me. Was
this an act for Sabrina or was the smile genuine? I didn’t tell Sabrina about
my mishap but Nash didn’t know that. He probably didn’t want to look like a bad
guy in front of her so he acted happy to see me.

“Give me five minutes and I’ll be
ready.”

“I’ll wait outside for you, okay?” Nash
asked.

“Sure.”

To my surprise, Nash bent down and
kissed me on the lips before disappearing out of the dorm room. Not wasting any
time, I found the cleanest clothes I could from the floor and ran across the
hallway into the bathroom. Taking a stall, I changed out of my pajamas and into
the clothes,
then
went to an empty sink to brush my
teeth. Running back across the hall, I threw my dirty clothes onto my bed and
then, on impulse, threw on a little eyeliner and lip gloss. If I was going to
be broken up with, at least I would look good in the process.

At the fifth minute I was back
downstairs and out the door, standing next to Nash. He was staring across the
quad, watching kids throwing a Frisbee to each other.

“That was quick,” he commented.

“I told you that it was only going to be
five minutes,” I pointed out. “I’m a girl of my word.”

Nash opened his mouth to say something
but I put my hand up.

“Listen, before we go and before we have
our little ‘talk’ I wanted to say something.”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for saying… Well
you know. I didn’t mean it. Well, I mean I didn’t mean to say it. The words I
meant but I should have kept them to myself. But I understand if that makes you
uncomfortable and you want to break up.”

I was definitely rambling.

“You thought I wanted to break up with
you?”

I nodded.

“What else was I supposed to think? Whenever
someone says ‘we have to talk’ it’s usually a break up. Why would I think that
this was any different?”

“Because I’m not the type of guy to run
away when a girl admits her feelings,” he said.

But he kind of did at the beach.

“I’ll admit that I can’t say those words
right now, but that doesn’t mean that I may not say them in the future. I was
surprised, that’s all, and I didn’t know how to process it. I’m flattered, I
am, and I care a lot about you.”

“You do?”

I felt a glimmer of hope at the edge of
my fragile heart.

“Of course I do. You’re a great fucking girl
Lily and I like you a lot. My mother died a year and a half ago and she was the
last person to say I love you to me.”

“I’m sorry Nash.”

“It’s okay. I usually hide everything
because it helps the days go by easier. I’m sorry I acted that way. I’m good at
fucking things up.”

 
“No,
it’s me. I get a little crazy. I told you before… I’m not used to any of this.”

“I guess that makes two of us,” Nash
joked. “Why don’t you and I take it
easy.
Let’s go to
breakfast and then we’ll figure out the rest. One day at a time, you know?”

It wasn’t exactly what I wanted but it
was a better idea then breaking up.

“Sure, one day at a time.”

I grabbed his hand and let him lead me
to his car.

The two of us drove down the highway,
Nash humming while I looked out the window at the passing scenery. My eyes were
still heavy and I couldn’t imagine how Nash was feeling. How was he still
awake?

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “Why?”

I shrugged.

“Just asking, I know you were up late
last night and I’m sure that you’re tired. I can drive if you want.”

Nash laughed.

“Do you know how to drive shift?”

I shook my head.

“Well then I think I’m our best bet.”

“But I can learn.”

“It will take more than a few minutes to
teach you how to drive. Why don’t we put that off for another day?”

I rolled my eyes.

“Oh don’t give me that ‘I’m so offended’
look. I’m not being mean and I don’t hate you.”

I smiled out the side of my mouth while Nash
pulled into a parking lot and grabbed the first spot he saw.

“Where are we?”

“A small diner
about three miles off campus.
Most people don’t know about this place
which makes it great because it’s not crowded. You can get a seat almost
immediately.”

“Have you been here before?”

Nash nodded and I bit my lower lip.

“Have you been here with
…
Other girls?”

He paused and looked me straight in the
eye.

“One,” he admitted.
“My
sister.
It was when we were younger, right after her prom. She had just
broken up with her boyfriend for trying to force himself on her.”

Sister?
She went
through something similar to me.

“Oh my god
Nash.”

“My mother had already died so I was all
she had since she didn’t want to tell our dad.”

I was about to say something but he
stopped me with a kiss on my lips.

“Let’s go inside.”

We both got out of the car. Nash held
the door open for me and I stepped through right to the podium. Like he said
they do, the waitress seated us immediately and handed us menus. She took our
drink order and sashayed away. Once she was gone, Nash continued.

 
“I
picked her up from her after prom party and we came here, I think it was five
in the morning. She had her dress on and I came directly from the after party
of my gig.”

“Oh,” I said.

I looked at the menu, pretending to be
really intrigued at the options, when in reality my mind was going off in all
different directions. I was upset. I didn’t like to hear that anyone had to go
through that.

“Is something wrong?”

“No,” I lied.

How was I supposed to tell Nash what was
going on in my head? How do I explain to him how I went through something
similar.

“I need coffee is
all.
”

“Well, good thing that the waitress is
bringing us two huge cups of it. Do you want to split something or have
something yourself?”

“Either is fine. Want to get a stack of
pancakes and split that?”

“Sure.”

*
         
*
         
*

“Thanks for breakfast,” I said as Nash
brought me to my dorm room door. “I would invite you in but honestly I wouldn’t
be any fun. I need sleep…
Lots of sleep.”

“Me too.”

Especially since my test was that
afternoon.

“Maybe we can meet up in a couple nights
for something? I have another show… Want to come?”

My heart was pumping and butterflies
were in my stomach. It was the first time that Nash actually
invited
me to one of his shows. The
other time I just told him I was going.

“If you really
want me to.”

 
“Hell yeah.
How else am I supposed to show off my hot
girlfriend?”

Hot?

Girlfriend?

I resisted the urge to jump up and clap
my hands.

“Well then I guess I need to come.”

I tried to keep my voice calm, my words
sounding nonchalant. Nash was smirking, almost expecting me to overreact.

Nash pulled me close, nuzzling my neck.

Chapter
Eighteen

By the time I got to the bar Nash was
playing at, I could already smell the alcohol. People were meshed together,
taking up every nook and cranny available. The air was thick with smoke and I
coughed into my hand, my lungs begging for fresh air.

Why did Nash choose here?

I forced my way through the throng of
people. Guys were holding drinks while the women stepped close to them,
intertwining their legs together. There was more skin than clothes and I
averted my eyes from one girl whose nipples were seen through her fitted
t-shirt.

She was probably hoping that they would
get wet and she’d get laid that night.

I was about to turn around and leave the
bar. As I went to leave, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking behind me I saw
Nash’s smile.

God he was hot.

“Hey there beautiful,” he said.

I wasn’t sure whether the alcohol that I
was smelling
was on his breath or if it was just in
the room. He didn’t look drunk, but Nash was also fully capable of holding his
alcohol longer than most after seeing him drink a few times. Who knew how many
beers he already
had.

“Hey, interesting place.”

I kept my voice light.

“I know, it looks like a dump, but it’s
pretty great. The food’s amazing and there is a fully stocked bar.”

And of course, that’s the highlight of
the evening.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

I side stepped just in time as a fight
broke out and someone went flying onto a table three feet away. The table broke
and there was blood but everyone began clapping. Clearly they were too drunk to
figure out what was going on, let alone care about it.