A Passionate Discovery (Self-Discovery Series) (34 page)

“I know
you’re right, Scarlett,” she said finally. “It’s just hard as hell to think of
never seeing or talking to him again.” She couldn’t even begin to describe the
level of pain that thought filled her with. Tears threatened to spill and she
quickly blinked them away. “I really can’t talk about this right now.”

It hurt Scarlett
to see her friend in such pain. “I’m sorry, honey, I wish I knew what to do to
make you feel better, but short of building a time machine, going back and
stopping you meeting Jason in the first place, I don’t know what I can do.”

“It’s
okay, seriously, I just need some time, and to focus my mind on something else
until I can breathe without thinking about him.” She couldn’t help but wonder
if there would ever come a day when she didn’t think of him almost every
minute. Before meeting Jason she wouldn’t have believed it was possible for her
thoughts to be so consumed by a man, now she found it hard to believe she would
ever stop thinking about him.

“We could
take another vacation, I’m sure that would take your mind off things.” Scarlett
waggled her eyebrows suggestively, trying to lighten the mood. “We can go
anywhere you like, my treat, well daddy’s treat, but it’s the same thing
really.”

“I’m still
recovering from the last one,” Carla said, though she couldn’t help admitting
to herself that the idea was a temptation. “Actually I’m thinking a job hunt
might be the right thing to do just now.” She noted the rolling of Scarlett’s
eyes and shook her head at her friend’s response. “Come on, Scarlett, we should
find something useful to do with our degrees, now that we’ve actually got
them.”

“I’ll help
you look, but I have no intention of joining you on the job trail until the
summer is over.”

“Well I’ll
definitely take the help.” She could only imagine how difficult it was going to
be for her to find a job in New York, even with a degree.

“Okay
then, but let’s not start on this until tomorrow, not seriously anyway, it’s a
little late in the day to start something that is going to require so much
brainpower.” Scarlett got to her feet abruptly, reaching out a hand to Carla.
“Come on, we should probably get back in there before Daniel thinks I’ve
abandoned him and demands I serve us dinner in the nude or something as
punishment.” Scarlett laughed.

“He would
do that?” Carla asked uncertainly; she didn’t know Daniel well enough to know
what he would or wouldn’t do to or with Scarlett.

Scarlett
burst out laughing. “No, he wouldn’t make me do that, but maybe I should talk
to him about it one day; it could be a fun little fantasy to play out,” she
said with a mischievous smile on her face.

Carla
fought to hold back a fresh batch of tears as she realized there were going to
be no more fantasies for her. “Well then, let’s get inside; I’d hate to be the
reason for you to become demoted to the hired help.” With an effort she hid her
pain from her friend.

The famous
Mushroom Ravioli by Daniel was delicious. Equally delicious was the dessert
that followed it, Devil’s Food Cake with French Vanilla Ice Cream. It was
sinfully good, but none of them gave any thought to the calories the food
contained.

Once they
had eaten Carla asked to be driven back to the condo; since Scarlett wasn’t of
a mind to start on job hunting just then, and neither was she, she wanted to
start getting their things sorted. That was when she remembered about the
furniture and electronics she and Scarlett had bought the previous day, quickly
she turned to Scarlett to ask about it.

“Don’t
worry about it,” Daniel told her with a grin, “I took care of it. I sent
Jackson over early this morning to wait for your deliveries. I couldn’t have
you two girls without something to sit on the next time I visit, or more
importantly, somewhere to sleep. Though of course you are both welcome to stay
here as long as you wish.” Jackson was his newest employee, he’d hired him as a
favor to his cook, since he was her son, but he didn’t have a firm position for
the boy at that time, which left him doing whatever odd tasks came along.

“Thank you
for taking such good care of me, Sir.” Walking round the table Scarlett wrapped
her arms around his neck from behind and kissed his cheek.

“Can I ask
you guys something without offending you?” Carla wanted to know, curious about
the differences between their relationship and what Jason had shown her of the
lifestyle.

“Absolutely,
Carla, what’s on your mind?” Daniel queried, his arm still around Scarlett’s
waist.

“Well, why
doesn’t she call you Sir all the time? I thought it was necessary for a
submissive to show respect to her Master at all times.

Daniel
chuckled in answer. “I don’t live this life all the time, Carla,” he told her.
“I enjoy playing in the dungeon, and so does Scarlett, but to me it is just
something fun to do occasionally. It isn’t a lifestyle to be maintained
twenty-four seven as far as I am concerned; there are times in life when the
lifestyle gets in the way so I restrict it to the bedroom as much as possible.”

“So Scarlett
can pretty much do what she wants?” Carla was confused, especially after his
earlier comment about punishing her that night.

“Scarlett
and I came to an agreement about what we wanted from each other when we got
together. I believe she showed you the contract.” At her nod he smiled and
continued. “Outside of the boundaries we agreed on she can do whatever she
wants, and even those boundaries are up for negotiation.”

“I guess
I’m just surprised, the two of you seem to have a regular relationship, outside
of the bedroom anyway.”

“Carla, Jason
has only shown you a very narrow view of the lifestyle. There are many
different ways that people choose to live out this life, and everyone will tell
you their way is the right way. The truth is, if it works for the couple then
it doesn’t matter what anyone outside of that relationship believes.” Scarlett
winked, looking up at Daniel with adoring eyes.

“Thanks
for being so open about your relationship; I know it’s none of my business.”
She wasn’t normally so inclined to ask people about their relationships,
generally she wasn’t interested in the slightest since she had no desire to be
in a relationship, but what she saw between Scarlett and Daniel was so
different to what Jason had shown her that it made her curious.

“Don’t
worry about it, Carla,” Daniel told her with a smile. “Feel free to ask Scarlett
or me anything you wish to know; we’ll tell you if something is too personal,
other than that we will answer as best we can.

“If you
are okay with it I would love for you to consider Scarlett and me your mentors,
if you decide you wish to continue in the lifestyle. We can show you a
different side to it than what you have seen so far.”

“Thank
you, I really appreciate it.” Carla found herself liking Daniel more and more,
and could really understand what her friend saw in him. “For now I’d better get
home and get some sorting out done. I have to make a plan so I can start
hunting for a job tomorrow.”

“I’ll have
my driver take you girls home then. I need to do a few hours’ work this
evening, before I lose some clients.” He leaned down and kissed Scarlett
deeply. “Call me later, babe.” He let go of her and walked them out to the car,
leaving the dirty dishes to be cleaned later.

CHAPTER TWENTy-three

Both Carla
and Scarlett were amazed when they walked into the condo, the transformation
was beyond belief.

“Um,
someone has been busy,” Carla said, staring around her. Instead of an empty
space filled with boxes they now had a living room, in more than just name.

“Apparently
Jackson decided to arrange everything for us,” Scarlett remarked, also looking
around in surprise.

Not only
had the three piece suite they’d purchased been positioned to gain the best of
the light that came in through the windows on the far side of the room, the
glass coffee table was sat in the middle of the suite, ready for use. On the
coffee table was the remote for the huge flat screen television, which had
already been hung on the wall.

Picking
the remote up Scarlett hit the power button.” Daniel should give him a raise,”
she said when she saw that not only did the television turn on, but all the
channels had been tuned in properly.

When they
entered their bedrooms they discovered they too had been organized. All of the
furniture they had bought was in place and the rooms looked as good as they
might have done if an interior decorator had been hired to arrange everything.
The only things missing were the boxes containing their belongings.

“You don’t
think Jackson unpacked our stuff do you?” Carla asked Scarlett, joining her
friend in her bedroom. “The boxes with my stuff are gone from my room.” She
found the idea that Daniel’s man had been through her belongings a little
disturbing.

“I’m sure
he didn’t.”

“Then
where are the boxes with all your stuff? I didn’t see the boxes we left in the
living room either, the ones with the stuff for the living room and the
kitchen.”

“No idea,”
Scarlett said with a shrug, crossing the room to her new closet she pulled open
the doors to reveal that it was empty, as was the chest of drawers. “Come on,
let’s find them.” Leaving the room she made a quick search of the condo, which
took almost no time at all, and found the boxes in the spare bedroom.

“He
definitely is thorough,” Carla said, pleased to see that the boxes had been
kept separate to avoid any confusion. Her boxes were on one side of the room,
while Scarlett’s were on the other, and the boxes containing the stuff to go in
the living room and kitchen were in the far corner.

“Shame he
couldn’t have put the boxes in our bedrooms after he finished with the
furniture, after all, he managed to figure out what furniture belonged in which
bedroom. “

“Come on, Scarlett,
given everything else he did for us, which he didn’t have to do, the least we
can do is shift the boxes into our rooms,” Carla said. She’d expected to have
to spend the evening moving furniture about, and was greatly relieved that that
chore was unnecessary. Compared to the furniture, a few boxes were nothing.

“Fine.” Scarlett
gave an exaggerated smile. “I’d like to be able to find my underwear. Wearing
the same clothes two days running is just about acceptable, I suppose, but
there is no way I am wearing the same underwear for more than a day.”

They spent
the next hour shifting the boxes into their rooms and then sorting the
contents, putting all of their clothes away. A task that Carla allowed to take
over her thoughts, to the point where she was oblivious to almost everything
around her, including the CD that Scarlett decided to play loud enough to be
heard throughout the condo.

The doorbell
ringing cut through Carla’s thoughts where Scarlett’s music hadn’t. It was Jason,
she was sure of it, and her heart thumped heavily in her chest, fear and
excitement combining in her, as she stood as still as a statue until she heard Scarlett
thank someone. It was clear from Scarlett’s words, and the tone of her voice,
that it wasn’t Jason.

“Carla,
you have a package,” Scarlett called out. For a moment she had considered
refusing to sign for it and insisting that the courier take it away, but in the
end she hadn’t, it wasn’t up to her to send the package away, that was Carla’s
decision.

“Just put
it on the counter, Scarlett,” Carla told her friend as she wandered out into
the living room. The package was from Jason, she was sure of that, no one but
he would be sending her anything, and she wasn’t sure she had the strength to
deal with whatever he might have sent her just then.

Scarlett
nodded and tossed the package casually onto the kitchen island, thinking idly
that the best thing she could do with it would be to toss it out of the window.
“We could do with taking a trip to the shop,” she said, hoping to distract her
friend from the package, the look on Carla’s face indicated she needed a
distraction. “We really need to get some food in, at the moment the fridge is
bare. We don’t even have any coffee or wine, and that, honey, is a fucking
tragedy.” She laughed.

Carla
joined in the laughter, as Scarlett had hoped she would. “We could do with
getting some decent cutlery and kitchenware as well, not to mention pots and
pans; neither of us has much of use.”

“That lot
can wait until tomorrow, honey, we have wine glasses, that’s enough on that
front for now, wine, and something so we won’t starve tomorrow is far more
important this evening.” Scarlett grabbed her keys and together they headed
out.

The next
couple of hours were taken up with a shopping spree as Scarlett endeavored to
keep her friend occupied, and stop her thinking about Jason. They not only
bought food, and more importantly wine, but they also found themselves cutlery
and kitchenware.

Carla knew
what her friend was doing, and was grateful for it, but realized that she
couldn’t avoid things forever. Sooner or later she would have to face her
memories and learn to cope with them, she just wasn’t ready to do so then.

When they
made it home Scarlett went off to take a bath, while Carla sorted out their
shopping. She tried to ignore it but her eyes were constantly drawn to the
package from Jason as it sat on island. Finally she could resist the temptation
no longer and was compelled to pull the package toward her.

Tearing
the wrapping off the package she slit the seal and opened it. Her breath caught
in her throat as she saw the beautiful figurine that sat in the velvet lined
box. It was a crystal ballerina. For a few moments all she could do was stare
at it, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

With a
shaking hand she reached out to pick up the small card that rested on the
figurine.
‘The
night you danced for me I felt my heart come alive for the first time. I am
sorry I hurt you. I hope you can forgive me. RH.’

The
beginning of their ten nights together, it felt like a hundred years ago when
it all started, she thought, wiping her cheeks as tears trickled down them.
Setting the card down she carefully lifted the figurine from the box and set it
on the counter; the weight of it surprised her, at the same time it gave her
some idea of the value of the piece. The figurine, which was about a foot high,
looked even more beautiful out of the box than it had in it.

Her tears
increased as she stared at the dancer and she felt a strong desire to call up Jason,
or to get in her car and race over to his house. Angry with herself she
hurriedly returned the figurine to the box and closed it up before carrying it
into her bedroom, where she placed the box carefully on top of the closet. She
hoped having it up there, out of sight, would stop her thinking about it, and Jason.

A beeping
sound startled Carla as she was putting the box on top of the closet and she
almost dropped it, catching it just in time. With the box out of the way she
looked around the room for the source of the beeping noise. It was a few
moments before she realized that it was the iPhone Jason had given her, beeping
to alert her to the arrival of a message, she had forgotten all about the
phone.

Dropping
onto the bed she grabbed up her purse to take out the iPhone. When she unlocked
the phone she was surprised to find not just one message but dozens, all of
them from Jason, the first was from the early hours of the morning. Looking at
the time on the earliest of the messages she realized he must have sent it
shortly after Scarlett and Daniel had found her.

Not sure
if she was really ready to see what Jason had to say Carla tentatively opened
the first of the messages, reading it quickly, she then moved on to the next.

The
messages ranged from
‘I’m sorry’
to
‘I know
you must hate me’
to
‘I was such a fool, please forgive me’
. On and
on the messages went until tears blurred her vision and she could barely make
out the screen. Reaching the last of the messages she sat there for a minute or
two sobbing, tears streaming down her face once again as she tried to get
control of herself.

Finally
she got the tears to stop, much to her relief, and got to her feet. Turning off
the phone she dropped it onto the bed behind her and made her way into the
en-suite bathroom attached to her bedroom, where she washed her face quickly.

Hungry,
and needing to distract herself, Carla made her way into the kitchen so she
could put together a Caesar salad for her and Scarlett. She wasn’t a very good
cook, never having learned to do more than the basics, Caesar salad being one
of the few things she could manage, but after the food she had eaten over the
course of the past week she was determined to learn.

“So what
would you like to do tonight, honey?” Scarlett asked, walking into the kitchen.
“Do you fancy hitting a club? Or perhaps a movie? We can always rent a couple
of movies and watch them with some wine if you’d like.”

“Why don’t
you go on over to Daniel’s, he must have finished his work by now. I need to
work on my résumé; I’ll just spend some time doing that and working out a plan
for job hunting tomorrow.”

“It’s
alright; I’ve spent the whole day with Daniel, besides, I don’t really want to
leave you alone right now.” The thought of going back to Daniel’s was tempting,
and she knew he wouldn’t object if she went over, but her friend needed her
more.

“I’ll be
fine, Scarlett, I promise. I really want to get the résumé done and research
some companies, not to mention work on some cover letters.” She appreciated
what her friend was doing, but she felt as though she needed some time alone.

“If you’re
absolutely sure you don’t need me.” Scarlett was reluctant to leave her friend
but realized there was no point in her being there if her presence was going to
be intrusive. That aside, Daniel had told her about a new club that had opened,
a discreet place that was dedicated to the lifestyle, and she couldn’t wait to
see it, she just hoped he was in the mood to take her there.

Carla
nodded as she began dishing up the salad, filling both their plates while Scarlett
opened a bottle of the wine they’d bought and poured out a glass for each of
them. They ate in comfortable silence, finishing the food quickly and then
washing up, Carla doing the washing while Scarlett did the drying, as was their
usual division of labor.

With the
dishes put away Scarlett disappeared into her bedroom, where she shucked off
the casual outfit she’d picked out after her bath and dressed again in an
outfit more suited to a night out with her boyfriend. “Are you sure you don’t
want me to stick around?” she asked, returning to the living room.

“Go, have
fun with your man; we can hang out tomorrow.” Smiling at her friend’s worrying Carla
ushered her toward the door. “I’ll be fine here. I have my computer, wine, and
ice cream, what more could I want.”

Scarlett
laughed quickly. “Okay, well you have my cell number so if anything changes, or
you just get freaked out, you call me immediately!” Reaching over impulsively
she hugged her tightly. “I mean it; call me if you so much as break a
fingernail.”

“You’re
starting to freak me out, mom,” Carla said with a giggle. “Please, go and have
fun with Daniel before you drive me nuts!” She was exhausted by the time she
finally got Scarlett out of the door and got it closed behind her. Knowing her
friend was worried about her was sweet, but it was also driving her nuts. It
was not the norm for her friend to be hovering over her and what she needed
most just then was normalcy.

After a
nice long, steaming hot bath she settled herself on the couch in her pajamas, a
carton of her favorite rocky road ice-cream at her side and her laptop in front
of her. With the television turned to a music channel for background she got to
work on her résumé, going over and over it until she felt it was perfect, by
which time she had gone through half the carton of ice-cream.

Having
completed the résumé Carla Googled internships for business majors in the New
York area. There were a few decent companies listed, companies whose names she
recognized, and she searched each of their websites for details on how they
preferred to receive submissions. She bookmarked each of the sites so she could
get back to them easily in the morning.