A Mother's Secret (16 page)

On Tuesday morning, Carolyn walked out to the phone shanty she and her parents shared with Amos and Sarah Ann and checked their messages. The first two were from her mother’s friends asking her to come to two separate quilting bees. She wrote down their messages for her mother.

When the last message started, a little voice spoke. “Hi, this is Emma Beiler calling for Carolyn and Sarah Ann. My
dat
and I would like to have you all over for supper tonight.
Dat
and I are going to make something special. Please call and let me know if you can come.” Emma rattled off the time for
supper, her phone number, and directions to their farm before disconnecting the call.

Carolyn replayed the message and then stared at her notepad. She imagined the supper invitation was Emma’s idea. She had seemed like such a sweet girl, and Carolyn didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She knew she should go to their house for supper instead of turning down the invitation and upsetting both Emma and Amos.

“
Gude mariye
, Carolyn.” Sarah Ann approached the phone shanty. “Did you listen to the messages?”

“
Ya
, I did,” Carolyn said. “There weren’t any for you, except that Emma invited us all for supper tonight.”

“She did?” Sarah Ann smiled. “Isn’t that nice. She invited everyone?”

“
Ya
, at five thirty. Will you, Amos, and the
kinner
want to come?”

“
Ya
, Amos and I will come. The
buwe
will have chores, and Rosemary is babysitting for the
English
family up the street.”

“I’ll call Emma back and tell her that you, Amos, Ben, and I will be there,” Carolyn said. “I’ll make dessert.”

“That’s perfect.” Sarah Ann walked back toward the house.

After dialing Emma’s phone number, Carolyn cleared her throat and waited for the answering machine beep. “Hi, Emma. This is Carolyn returning your call.
Danki
for your message. Sarah Ann, Amos, Ben, and I would love to come for supper. I’ll bring something for dessert. We look forward to seeing you this evening.”

Carolyn hung up the phone and headed back into the house, where her mother was sitting at the kitchen table working on a shopping list.

“Were there any messages?”
Mamm
asked without looking up.

“
Ya
.” Carolyn sank onto the bench beside her. “You had two and I had one.” She handed her mother the piece of paper with her two messages.

Mamm
examined them and then looked up at Carolyn. “Who called you?”

“Emma Beiler.” Carolyn gazed toward the kitchen cabinets and contemplated what she would make for dessert.

“Emma Beiler?” Her mother raised her eyebrows. “What did she want?”

“She invited Sarah Ann, me, and our families to supper tonight.”

Mamm’s
mouth gaped. “Really?”

“I have a feeling it was all her idea.”

“Are you going to go?”

“
Ya
.” Carolyn nodded. “I feel like I should go. I spoke with Sarah Ann, and she said she and Amos will go too. I’m going to make Ben come along with us. I don’t want to hurt Emma’s feelings. She’s such a sweet
kind
. I left her a message saying I would bring dessert.”

Her mother studied her for a moment. “Do you want to get to know Saul?”

“
Ya
, I think I need to give him a chance since Amos is really insistent about this.” She rested her chin in her palm. “I guess I could make frosted carrot bars. I haven’t made those in a while.”

“You need to tread carefully here.” Her mother touched her arm. “If Emma gets attached to you, you’re going to break her heart if it doesn’t work out. She’s already lost her
mutter
. You don’t want her to feel like she lost you too, do you?” Her mother
frowned. “I know you’re in a difficult situation, but maybe I can help. Do you want me to talk to Amos?”

“No,
danki
. That will only make it worse. I can handle this myself.” Carolyn stood and moved toward the counter. “Want to help me make frosted carrot bars?”

Amos guided the horse and buggy onto the street where Saul’s house was located. Carolyn sat in the back next to Ben and held the platter of frosted carrot bars. She wondered how the evening would go for the six of them.

Soon a white building came into view with a large sign that said “Beiler’s Cabinets.” A two-story white house sat behind it.

“I didn’t know Saul makes cabinets,” Benjamin said as the buggy rattled up the rock driveway toward Saul’s house.

“Saul’s business is doing really well,” Amos responded. “He stays busy.”

“That’s
gut
.” Carolyn took in the large barns behind the house and the pasture.

Amos brought the horse to a stop by the first barn, and they all climbed out, walked to the front porch, and climbed the steps. Amos knocked, and Carolyn heard footsteps approach from the other side of the door.

Emma pulled the door open and beamed. “
Wie geht’s!
” She made a sweeping gesture. “Please come in.”

Carolyn followed Amos, Benjamin, and Sarah Ann into the house, where Amos and Benjamin hung their hats and coats on a peg by the door and then Benjamin hung Carolyn’s and Sarah
Ann’s cloaks. They followed Emma into a large kitchen, where the aroma of ham loaf drowned Carolyn’s senses.

“You made ham loaf?” Carolyn smiled at the eager girl.

“
Ya
.” Emma nodded with emphasis while gesturing toward the stove. “My
dat
helped me. I hope we got it right this time. The last time we made it, it was a little overdone. I used
mei mamm’s
favorite recipe since this is a very special occasion.”

“I’m certain it’s perfect.” Carolyn held out the platter. “I hope you like frosted carrot bars.”

“Ach!
My favorite.” Emma took the platter. “
Danki
.”

Benjamin and Amos stood in the kitchen doorway and glanced around as if they didn’t know what to do.

“Why don’t you two have a seat?” Sarah Ann suggested. “Carolyn and I will help Emma serve the meal.”

“
Mei dat
will be in soon.” Emma brought a bowl of peas to the table. “He had to finish up something in his shop. He has a big order for cabinets from a local restaurant. He said it’s going to help get him more business when people find out he was chosen for this job.”

“That’s fantastic.” Carolyn made small talk while she brought a pitcher of water and four cups to the table.

“Ben, let’s go see Saul.” Amos motioned toward the door. “I’ll show you his shop.”

Ben followed Amos out the back door. Carolyn and Sarah Ann continued to help prepare the table for the meal, and soon everything was ready.

“Now, where are those men?” Sarah Ann asked with a smile.

“We could eat without them,” Carolyn joked. “It all smells so delicious.”

Emma laughed. “I don’t think my
dat
would like that very much.” She headed toward the back door. “I’ll go check on them.”

Sarah Ann shook her head. “Men forget what time it is when they’re in a shop surrounded by tools.”

“That’s very true,” Carolyn agreed.

The back door banged as Emma made her way into the kitchen followed by her father, Amos, and Benjamin.

“
Wie geht’s
,” Saul said as he hung up his hat and coat.

“Everything is ready,” Emma said, pointing toward the table.

“
Gut
.” Saul sat at the head of the table.

Carolyn sat beside Benjamin and across from Emma. Saul bowed his head and everyone followed suit. Carolyn silently thanked God for the supper and asked him to bless their conversation.

When Saul shifted in his seat, everyone looked up and began to cover their plates with food.

“Everything smells
appeditlich
,” Carolyn said as she reached for the peas. “You’re a
gut
cook, Emma.”

“
Danki
.” Emma’s cheeks blushed as she cut the ham loaf.

“We’re so
froh
you invited us tonight,” Sarah Ann added.

“
Dat
and I talked about it and decided we wanted to have guests over. It’s been a long time, right,
Dat
?” Emma asked Saul.

Carolyn was amazed as she watched Saul’s expression soften. His brown eyes seemed filled with regret as he nodded. It was apparent that he deeply loved his little girl.

“
Ya
,” he said. “That’s true, Emma.”

Carolyn cleared her throat and glanced at Benjamin, who was staring at his plate while chewing. She tried to think of something to say to start a conversation and make her son feel comfortable and included.

“Ben started a new job a few weeks ago.” Carolyn sat up a little taller. “He’s working for Joshua Glick. His farm isn’t too far from here. It’s also in Paradise.”

Saul finished chewing and swallowed before he spoke to Ben. “What are you doing?”

“I’m working on Josh’s horse farm.” Benjamin’s voice was soft and unsure. “He raises and sells Dutch Harnesses and Belgians.”

“He’s doing a
gut
job. Josh is really
froh
with his work.” Carolyn smiled, but Saul only frowned. She wondered if the man ever smiled or if this was his usual demeanor to everyone but Emma.

“So, you’re shoveling stalls and brushing horses?” Saul wiped his beard.

Benjamin shrugged. “I’m doing more than that. Josh and Danny are teaching me how to train them now.”

Saul sipped his cup of water. “Have you ever wanted to learn how to make cabinets? I can teach you how to do that. My business has started booming again. I could surely use some help. The orders haven’t stopped, and I don’t expect that they will anytime soon. Working with horses is
gut
, but cabinetmaking is something you can do anywhere. All you need is a small shop and some tools.”

Carolyn couldn’t prevent her frown. Saul wasn’t impressed with Benjamin’s new job. She couldn’t help but think that he seemed to be just as condescending and negative as Amos. It now made sense to her that Saul and Amos were good friends; they were just alike.

“Have you ever done any woodworking, Ben?” Saul asked between bites of the potatoes.

Benjamin nodded. “
Mei daadi
helped me make a little trinket box for
mei mamm
for Christmas once.”

Saul shook his head. “I’m not talking about making trinket boxes. I’m talking about real woodworking and real tools.”

“I’m certain Ben could become a real carpenter, Saul.” Amos gestured toward Benjamin. “Of course, Ben, you would need to get bigger and stronger before you could really help in Saul’s shop. You’d have to develop quite a few muscles and look more like a grown man. The wood is heavy, and it’s hard work.”

Carolyn stopped chewing and stared at her brother while wondering how he could say something so hurtful to his nephew.

“Of course Ben will grow bigger and stronger, Amos,” Sarah Ann said as she turned toward her husband. “He’s a growing boy. He’ll most likely hit a growth spurt this summer, and you may wind up having to look up at him.”

Carolyn smiled at her sister-in-law and silently thanked God for Sarah Ann’s quick comeback.

“
Ya
, you could be right,” Amos said. “We all grow at our own pace.”

Carolyn looked across the table at Emma, who was quietly eating dinner. “Everything is
appeditlich
, Emma,” she told the girl. “
Danki
for having us over for supper.”

“
Gern gschehne
.” Emma wiped her mouth on a napkin. “I love to cook. I found my mother’s favorite recipes, and I’ve been trying them out. Have you ever made stew?”

Carolyn nodded. “
Ya
, I have.”

“I love stew.” Emma cut up a piece of ham loaf. “I’ll have to invite you all over to have that next.”

“That would be nice.” Sarah Ann reached for her cup of water. “How’s school?”

“It’s good.” Emma told Sarah Ann and Carolyn all about
school and her chores while Saul and Amos continued their discussion of cabinetmaking and farming. Benjamin looked on with a bored expression.

Soon the conversations dwindled, and they ate in silence.

Carolyn turned to Benjamin and found him still studying his plate. She needed to find a way to pull him into the conversation. “Emma, what is your favorite subject in school?”

“Oh, I love math.” Emma brightened.

“Really? Ben always liked math too.” Carolyn nudged Benjamin under the table to draw him into the conversation.

“
Ya
, I always loved numbers,” Benjamin agreed.

“Ben likes to read too.” Carolyn tried to keep the conversation going. “Do you like to read, Emma?”

“I do.” Emma nodded.

“What kind of books do you like?” Sarah Ann chimed in. “Rosemary always read the Little House on the Prairie books. Do you like those books?”

Carolyn looked toward Saul, who was still talking to Amos. She wondered if she could ever find common ground with him. She wondered if his nearly constant frown was a part of how he mourned the loss of his wife. Perhaps Saul was a lonely man who didn’t know how to express his feelings. She suddenly felt sorry for him. She knew in her heart that she needed to give the man a chance and try to get to know him.