A Mother's Secret (15 page)

Carolyn was finishing up her vacuuming in one of the hotel rooms when she spotted Ruth standing in the doorway. She turned off the vacuum and smiled at her friend. “
Wie geht’s?
”

“How are you?” Ruth stepped into the room. “How was your day off yesterday?”

“It was
gut
.” Carolyn hesitated while she thought about her brief conversation with Joshua’s mother. In fact, she had contemplated it most of the evening and then again while she cleaned this morning. She was still bothered by how rude the woman had been to her, though now she worried that she had done something to offend her. But she couldn’t imagine what she’d done wrong.

Ruth tilted her head with curiosity. “
Was iss letz?
”

“Nothing is wrong, really.” Carolyn leaned on the vacuum cleaner handle. “I just had a very odd conversation with Joshua Glick’s
mamm
yesterday.”

Ruth nodded with understanding in her expression. “I could see that happening. Barbie Glick is a very interesting person. What did she say?”

Carolyn shared the story of how she had delivered the two pies and had an awkward conversation with Barbie by the garden. “I was really stunned by how direct she was. She was sort of rude to me. Actually, she was really rude to me, and I’m not proud that I was sort of rude when I answered her.”

“Barbie has been very abrasive at times.” Ruth paused as if choosing her words carefully, which piqued Carolyn’s curiosity.

“You’re keeping something from me. What are you hesitating to tell me?”

“You know Hannah was married to Josh’s
bruder
, right?”

Carolyn nodded. “
Ya
, of course I knew that. Hannah told me all about Gideon and how he passed away so tragically. Everyone knows Hannah left the community and that she’s
English
now.”

“I really don’t want to gossip, but I know Hannah would confirm this if she were here.” Ruth paused again. “When Hannah was married to Gideon, Barbie always had a bad habit of upsetting Hannah. She even continued to reprimand Hannah after Gideon died. Barbie constantly corrected how she raised the
kinner
and kept the
haus
. Nothing was ever
gut
enough in Barbie’s eyes.”

Carolyn scowled as she remembered how Barbie had spoken to her yesterday. “I could see that. She acted as if I had trespassed on private property, but Josh told me I could leave the pies in the kitchen for him. He gave me permission to be on his property, and I didn’t think weeding his garden was so terribly wrong. I was only trying to help.”

Ruth’s expression softened as she crossed the room and stood by Carolyn. “You have to remember Barbie has been through a lot of heartache in her life. Her son died as a young man, and her daughter-in-law left the Amish church and took two of Barbie’s
grandkinner
with her. I believe people sometimes change after heartache.”

Carolyn grimaced. “She was very rude. It was ridiculous.”

“Just remember the verse from 1 Peter, ‘Live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate
and humble.’ ” Ruth touched Carolyn’s arm. “Barbie needs your understanding. She lost her son and now two of her
grandkinner
are only visitors in her home once in a while. I think she’s overprotective of Josh because deep in her heart she worries that she’ll lose him too. Maybe she holds on too tight because she’s afraid to let go.”

Carolyn sighed and guilt jabbed her in the gut. “
Ya
, I understand now. I can’t imagine losing Ben.”

Tears misted over Ruth’s eyes. “I miss my son every moment of every day. I know Barbie is hurting like I hurt. I wish I could just know if he is still alive. Does he have enough to eat? Is he happy? Is he warm on cold nights? I don’t know anything about his life, and my heart is broken every day that I don’t hear from him.”

Carolyn hugged Ruth. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Ruth’s expression brightened. “But you do need to take a break.” She pointed to the digital clock next to the bed. “It’s lunchtime.”

Carolyn glanced at the clock and gasped with surprise. “Oh my. I didn’t even realize it was noon. I’ll finish this room and then meet you down in the break room.”

“Okay.” Ruth headed for the door.

Carolyn contemplated Barbie and Ruth while she worked. She felt sorry for Barbie’s heartache, but she also wondered if there was more to her overbearing personality. She longed to get to know Joshua better, and she hoped Barbie wouldn’t stand in the way of her developing a friendship with him.

NINE

H
annah pushed her shopping cart toward the produce department in the grocery store Friday afternoon. She glanced down at her list, checked off the items she’d already tossed into her cart, and then made her way to the bananas. After putting a bunch of bananas into the cart and checking her list again, she looked up to see the back of a young Amish girl. She was certain it was Lillian.

“Lily?” Hannah weaved past other shoppers, excusing herself along the way. “Lillian!”

The girl turned toward Hannah. It was Lily, and Hannah’s heart skipped a beat. “Lily!” she yelled louder.

Lily’s eyes widened, and she quickened her steps as she pushed her cart toward the checkout.

“Lily! Please wait.” Hannah rushed toward her and grabbed the sleeve of her purple dress. “Lillian, please talk to me.”

“Please stop. Just leave me alone.” Lily gritted her teeth. “You’re making a scene. Everyone is looking at us.”

“They wouldn’t stare if you stopped and talked to me.” Hannah smiled, despite being hurt that Lillian rejected her. She
was going to push through and make her daughter talk to her, no matter how painful it was. “It’s so
gut
to see you.”

“Really?” Lily shook her head. “Why do you act like everything is fine between us? Nothing is fine. You left me, remember?”

“Lily, please, just listen to me.” Hannah pointed toward her shopping cart full of groceries. “I’m going to make a nice supper tonight. We have some guests arriving from New Jersey, and I’m going to make them an authentic Amish meal. Why don’t you come? You can have dinner with Trey, Amanda, Andrew, and me, and you can visit the bed-and-breakfast. I’d love for you to see how I decorated it. It looks lovely. There’s plenty of room if you’d like to spend the night. One of us can take you home in the morning.”

Lily raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “You really want me to come and have supper with your guests? Is that so you can parade me around as your authentic Amish
dochder
to go with your authentic meal?” She folded her arms over her cloak. “Do you charge the patrons extra to meet a real Amish person?”

Hannah grimaced as hurt squeezed her heart. “Do you really think I would use you as a way to make money at my bed-and-breakfast?”

“I don’t know.” Lily’s green eyes challenged her. “Would you? I don’t know you at all anymore. I never imagined you would abandon me and tear our family apart for a man.”

Hannah took a deep breath and willed herself not to cry despite her crumbling heart. “Lily, I pray every night that God will help you soften your heart toward me. Someday you will forgive me and we can be close again. Wouldn’t you like to have a relationship with me?”

Lily’s lip trembled. “I have to go.”

Hannah watched her daughter walk away and prayed that someday she would see Lillian walking back into her life.

The scene at the grocery store repeated in Hannah’s mind as she prepared the meal for the guests who would arrive at the Heart of Paradise Bed-and-Breakfast in a couple of hours. She’d cried the whole ride back to the house.

She’d been praying daily, more than once each day, that Lily would find a way to forgive her for leaving the farm and the Amish church. When she’d spotted Lily in the store, she thought maybe God had finally given her the chance to make things right with her daughter. Yet the conversation had ended just as painfully as the last time she’d spoken to her.

Hannah pulled a loaf of homemade bread out of the oven and placed it on the stove. The back door squeaked closed, and Amanda stepped into the kitchen. She dropped her backpack on the floor before swiping a banana from the counter.

“Hi,
Mamm
.” Amanda kissed Hannah’s cheek. “I had the best day. Guess who I ran into at the gas station on the way home? Remember my friend Mike Smithson who worked at his uncle’s bookstore across from the deli? Well, he was at the next pump and he asked me if I wanted to—” She stopped speaking and her expression reflected concern. “
Mamm?
Have you been crying?”

Hannah sniffed and wiped her eyes. “
Ya
.”

“What happened?” Amanda took Hannah’s hands and led her to the table, where they both sat down.

“I ran into your
schweschder
today at the grocery store.”
Hannah swiped the back of her hand across her cheeks as her tears started again. “I begged her to come visit, and she rejected me again.”

“Oh,
Mamm
.” Amanda frowned and wiped a tear from Hannah’s face. “I’m so sorry she’s still not talking to you.”

Hannah shared the conversation, and Amanda shook her head.

“I’ll talk to her the next time I see her, okay?” Amanda hugged her and then frowned. “I don’t understand why she would accuse you of using her for the business. Where does she get these crazy ideas? I wonder if
Mammi
puts them in her head. I love
Mammi
, but she says some peculiar things sometimes.”

“I don’t know where she gets an idea like that.” Hannah shook her head. “But I would love it if you talked to her. Maybe you can make Lily see that I love her and I want to make things right. I know this isn’t easy, but we can work through things and repair our relationship if she would give me a chance.”

“
Ya
, I’ll talk to her.” Amanda handed her a napkin, and Hannah wiped her eyes. “I’ll do my best to get it through her stubborn head that you do love her.”

Hannah smiled. “
Danki
for understanding. I can’t imagine if I had lost both of you.”

“No, you won’t lose me.” Amanda looked at the ingredients and bowls lined up on the counter. “What’s on the menu for our guests?”

Hannah cleared her throat and turned her thoughts toward her meal. “I’m making homemade chicken potpie, corn, potatoes, shoofly pie, chocolate cake, and a fruit salad.”

“Oh, those are all my favorites.” Amanda grinned. “How can I help?”

Hannah pointed toward the fruit. “Do you want to start cutting up the fruit for the fruit salad?”

“I’d love to.” Amanda washed her hands in the sink.

“Now, tell me all about Mike Smithson.” Hannah began pulling together the ingredients for the potpie.

“It was so funny,
Mamm
. I was pumping gas, and at first he didn’t recognize me. He said I looked different without my prayer covering.” Amanda waved her hands for emphasis while she talked. “Then he asked me if I was going to school. I told him yes. Next thing I know, he asked me out on a date. I’m so excited. He wants to take me to dinner next Friday night. Isn’t that amazing?”

As Amanda detailed her encounter with her friend, Hannah silently prayed. She thanked God for her sweet Amanda. She also prayed that someday Lillian would surprise her by coming to the bed-and-breakfast and sharing everything that was going on in her life with the same enthusiasm as her twin.