A Measure of Love (15 page)

Riley knew he’d disappointed his father when he’d been sent to Arthur Kill after doing a friend a favor and holding a shitload of stolen car parts in his shop, but what more could he do or say? He’d served his time, apologized to everyone he cared about, cleared his debts, and turned himself around. It was a stupid mistake that he’d paid for, but his father’s continuing refusal to speak more than two or three words to him was like a constant bee sting.

In truth, Riley had hoped that his father’s ill health might kick the old guy’s ass into realizing that life was too damned short to hold grudges, and that he’d decide to clean the slate. But that didn’t look at all likely.

“What’s on your mind, honey?” Joan asked as they drove back across town. He shrugged in response. “Your father will come around,” she added softly, patting his knee. “He just needs to get out of his own way first.”

Riley wasn’t so sure about that, but he appreciated his mother’s confidence all the same.

“Tate told me about the two of you seeing Alexis.” Riley’s back stiffened a little. He cleared his throat. “You kids need to sort out your differences. It’s been too long.” Riley leaned an elbow on the window’s edge, keeping his eyes resolutely on the road. “A love like that doesn’t go away, no matter how much you will it to, sweetheart.”

Riley sighed. “She pushed me away.”

“She wasn’t herself, Riley. She was sick. You know that.”

Yeah, he did know that, but it didn’t make it any easier.

Joan continued. “Maggie told me Alexis owns a store not far from here—”

“No,” Riley interrupted, shutting down the idea immediately. To her credit, his mother didn’t push. She never did. Instead she did what she’d always done with her sons: she’d planted a seed. And goddammit, the damned thing only grew bigger and louder as Riley drove. “How far?”

He’d managed to last six whole minutes before asking where Lexie’s shop was, not daring to look across at his mother.

“Take the next left.”

Riley didn’t ask how she knew. It didn’t matter.

Ten minutes later, Riley pulled the car into a large parking lot, around which were a number of outlets and restaurants. He turned off the car and sat back, his stare on the small store located between an Old Navy and a Bed Bath & Beyond.

Love, You by Lexie.

Pride and relief clutched his chest. When she was eighteen, due to devastating circumstances out of her control, Lexie had had to let her dreams of becoming a cosmologist go. Riley had to admit that despite his and Lexie’s relationship being frayed, he’d worried about what she’d done with her life. Not that he didn’t think she’d succeed. Christ, Lexie was the most determined and smartest person he knew. But it had broken his heart to see her turn her back on what she’d always wanted, regardless of the reasons.

Riley and his mother climbed out of the car and made their way toward the store. A smile pulled at his face when he saw the star dotting the
i
of her name on the sign and the moon and stars in elegant white painted in the corner of the storefront window. The display beyond that was stunning. Jewelry of all types glittered, sparkled, and shone as it lay or hung from pink stands, some of which were embossed or engraved with words that made Riley smile wider:
believe, commit, survive.

“Shall we go in?”

Joan’s voice startled Riley out of his thoughts. He took a deep breath and nodded, gesturing for his mom to lead the way. She squeezed his arm briefly as she walked past, and he followed on unsteady legs. The first thing Riley noticed when he entered was the smell of the place. It was all Lexie, sweet and floral, and it threw him headlong into a memory of her undressing for him in her bedroom. They’d been seventeen and so in love. He licked his lips and rubbed a hand down his face.

“Hi, guys.” They were approached by a petite woman with deep plum-colored hair, which she wore pulled into a tight bun at the back of her head. “I’m Jaime. Let me know if I can help you today.” She reminded Riley of a puppy, all bouncy, smiley, and eager to please.

“Thanks,” he and his mother said in unison before Riley moved toward a mirrored wall that was covered in pink Post-its. He realized as he got closer that there were comments written on them:

That you tell it how it is. No bullshit!!
Love, You.

Your freckles.
Love, You.

Your curly locks and full lips.
Love, You.

“This is so cool,” he uttered, narrowing his eyes in an effort to read the ones stuck higher up the mirror.

“I’m glad you like it.”

Hearing Lexie behind him, Riley whirled around in place, knocking a stand at his side with his arm. “Shit!” He flailed in an effort to grab it before it fell at the same time Lexie dove forward to do the same. They caught it, propping it back up, leaving the necklaces and earrings swinging sharply from their places on the stands.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, embarrassment heating his throat.

“It’s all right,” she replied with an awkward laugh. “It happens. I need to move it or put a warning sign up or something.”

Riley looked her over as she spoke, once again noting the septum
piercing and the tattoos she’d added to her collection. The tattoo on the inside of his forearm suddenly felt hot, as though it knew she was near. He saw she was holding her own forearm to hide where she’d had the same tattoo inked, on the same day, and his heart pinched a little.

She turned and smiled at Riley’s mom. “Hi, Joan. It’s been a long time. I was sorry to hear about Park. How is he?”

Lexie’s expression was surprised when she was pulled in for a hug, but she quickly reciprocated, smiling into Joan’s shoulder. “He’s doing better. Thank you. And you look very well, Alexis,” Joan commented as they pulled apart. “And your store is wonderful. Congratulations.”

Lexie blushed under Joan’s praise and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Riley had never been jealous of his mom before, but her ease with Lexie was something he would kill for. Why hadn’t that been the first thing
he’d
said to her?
Jackass.

“How long have you had it?” Riley asked instead, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Almost three years,” she answered.

“And you make everything yourself?”

Lexie nodded. “Designed and made on the premises. Unless it’s a specific order; then we can outsource it. But we try our best to do what we can here in the store.” She crossed her arms. “I’m surprised you found us.”

Riley glanced at his mom, detecting the underlying message in Lexie’s words: she didn’t want him there. “My cousin, Maggie,” he offered. “She recognized you at the Disney store. She’s been here before and said how awesome it was.”

“That was nice of her.” Lexie wouldn’t quite meet his gaze, fidgeting and fussing with her cuticles. “Feel free to look around some more.” She looked over at Joan. “We have some great discounted pieces over there.” She pointed toward the back of the store where a
group of three girls stood, holding up various pieces against themselves, and Joan took the opportunity to leave her son and Lexie alone. Lexie dropped her hand and slowly turned back to Riley. “And we have some great pieces for guys.” Without another word, she headed across the store.

Riley followed obediently, as though he had little choice in the matter. He wasn’t ashamed of the fact that he’d always been that way with Lexie. It was simple, really: she chose the direction and he followed.

“We have some really sexy cuffs and necklaces,” she said toward the wall of men’s jewelry.

Riley took a moment to look at the pieces and a guy trying on a chain before he let his gaze slide over to Lexie. “You look great,” he said softly. “Really great. I should have said that when I saw you the other day.”

Her shoulders slumped slightly. “Thank you.” She lifted her eyes to his. “So do you.” She cocked an eyebrow. “The beard is . . . different.”

Riley raised a self-conscious hand to his chin.

“But I like it,” Lexie finished.

“Thanks.”

She nudged her glasses up her nose. “This is awkward, isn’t it?”

A cough of laughter burst from Riley. “Yeah.”

She swallowed and dragged her top teeth across her bottom lip. It warmed Riley to see it. It was a tic she’d always had, coming out whenever she was nervous. “I don’t mean for it to be, but . . .”

“But?”

“But it’s been a long time.”

Riley nodded. “It has.”

“And it was a shock to see you here.”

Riley dipped his chin. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she murmured. “It’s fine. I’m glad you’ve seen this place.”

“It’s amazing, Lex. You should be so proud of yourself.”

“I am.”

Riley turned his body toward hers, the swift and overwhelming need to touch her skin fizzing through him from top to toe. “Listen, Lex, I’m gonna be around until my dad’s better and I wondered if—while I’m back, if we could, you know, maybe—”

She was shaking her head before he even finished. “No.”

“I just want to talk.”

“Riley, I can’t.”

“Nothing more. I swear.” He held up a hand.

Lexie laughed wryly and gazed up at him in a way that made Riley feel a little dizzy. “But we could never just
talk,
” she said quietly. “Could we?”

And didn’t that look and those words set his blood on fire? She was right, though. Every time they’d met in the past—the last time being when he returned for his parents’ wedding anniversary five years ago—with the intention of simply talking and clearing the air, they’d ended up in bed. Or against a wall. Or that time in his car. Riley shifted on his feet, his body hardening quickly. Jesus, nothing changed; the woman was like fucking Viagra.

“No,” he managed. “I guess not.” He noticed the flush of her cheeks. “But this time I really mean it.” And it was the truth. As much as he wanted to lose himself in her, to kiss her and have things back to the way they were when they were teenagers and life was simple, he wanted to be friends with her more. “I miss my best friend.”

Her eyes closed for a second. “Riley.”

“Just hear me out, okay?”

At that moment the bell above the store door rang. Lexie’s eyes
widened a little as she looked past Riley. He turned instinctively to see Savannah and the little boy, Noah, in her arms, looking cute as hell with his mouth and cheeks covered in what looked suspiciously like chocolate, and a
Star Wars
balloon attached to his wrist, floating above them.

Savannah froze as the door shut behind them and, after a moment in which no one spoke, Riley began looking between the two sisters, trying to figure out what the fuck they were saying to each other with no words. He glanced again at Noah, who was grinning at him, and something in his stomach twisted at the same time the hairs on his neck lifted.

“Sorry,” Savannah said quickly. “I didn’t know that— I’ll just take Noah—”

“Mommy, look!” Noah exclaimed.

“Noah, don’t—” He began wiggling hard enough in Savannah’s arms that she was forced to squat and place him on the floor before he fell.

He ran toward Lexie, balloon arm aloft, while Riley’s brain suddenly began to move at a million miles an hour.

Wait.

Mommy?

Lexie moved around Riley quickly and bent down to the little boy as he continued to chatter. “The party was so good! I gots a bawoon! And I hads cake.”

“I can see that. I can’t wait to hear all about it, baby,” Lexie said, running a hand through the little boy’s hair. “But Mommy’s a little busy now with customers. I’ll finish up in twenty minutes, and then we’ll head home. Go with Aunt Sav and I’ll be through in a moment, okay?”

“ ’Kay,” Noah answered without argument, his attention snapping from the balloon to Riley in an instant. “You’s the man from Disney. Do you like my bawoon?”

Riley opened his mouth to speak, but found no words came. Noah gazed up at him, waiting for a reply, hazel eyes so familiar, just like they had been in the Disney store. But now, as he looked closer, Riley could see other features of Noah’s face that he saw every day he looked in the mirror. Jesus, even Noah’s nose and chin were . . .

Riley staggered back as the realization hit him like a fucking sledgehammer, his hip knocking into the display case behind him. How the fuck had he not seen it before? In his periphery, Riley saw his mother moving closer, her wide stare glued to the little boy even as Savannah took Noah’s hand and led him to the back of the store and out of a door. Could she be seeing it, too? Could he be . . . ?

When Joan’s gaze met Riley’s, he knew the answer was unequivocally yes. She looked as shell-shocked as Riley felt. “He looks just like—”

“Lex?” The interruption left Riley on a disbelieving croak. He could barely breathe. Jesus fucking Christ, he couldn’t
think
. What the ever-loving hell was going on?

Lexie stood from her crouch, her face pale, her gaze anywhere but on Riley. He pushed his next words out through panic and confusion. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

She inhaled heavily, paused, and then turned to him. “We need to talk.”

Riley tried to catch his breath, but his lungs felt as though they’d shriveled to half the size. “Is he—?”

“Not here,” Lexie uttered, glancing at the other customers and Jaime, who was hovering behind Joan, seemingly as perplexed by the whole scene as Riley was.

Anger abruptly lit Riley into focusing. He stood up straight and moved closer to Lexie. He towered over her, but she lifted her chin defiantly, meeting his glare. “Not here? Are you kidding me?”
he growled, his pulse thundering in his ears. “Fucking say it.”

There was a flash of fear across Lexie’s face before confidence snapped her shoulders back. “Yes,” she said quietly, causing Riley’s world to shrink to a pinhead. “He’s yours.”