A Matter of Fate (31 page)

When Jonah and Giules show up, I send Giules Karl’s way so I can linger with Jonah alone in the living room before having to introduce him to my parents. He’s got this husky, scratchy morning voice that is beyond foxy. The way he says
Good morning . . . .
Yum.

“Now that you’re here,” I say cheerfully, “it’s a great morning.”

He leans over and kisses me, nice and slow. My insides go crazy, and I have to remind myself that my parents are nearby in the kitchen.

“Mornings,” he says softly, “are never anything to get excited about. But I’ll admit, this is the first one I’ve looked forward to in a long time.”

My parents are uncharacteristically curious when I bring him into the kitchen. My father studies Jonah like he’s one of his books. I think my mother, on the other hand, sees him as a puzzle.

“Your father is a great man,” my father finally says, standing up and patting Jonah on the shoulder. “Right. You’re one of the twins. Excellent. We expect a lot from you two.”

I expect Jonah to tense at the mention of his brother, but he’s all ease and charm, not bothered in the slightest. He chats for a few minutes with my mother, answering all of her fake attempts at “Concerned Parent Questions” before Karl and Giuliana come back into the room. Giules announces she’ll stay at the house with us while Karl drives my father to the portal.

She also brought breakfast for us, which is a fantastic treat. Karl looks like he’s in heaven; I guess he and his wife are big-time foodies who constantly try to outcook one another. Giules regales us with stories of how well the Guard eats when these competitions come up. In fact, she reveals, the pastries she’s brought are from Moira. A Guard snuck them in early this morning to surprise her husband. Karl is beyond pleased.

After my dad and Karl leave, Jonah and I escape to my room. We spend the entire day together, kissing and talking and kissing and catching up in every way possible. It’s amazing to be able to do these things with him after a too-long absence. He’s wrong thinking I could ever get tired of him. It’s impossible. Never would happen.

We leave the house when dinner rolls around, and really only because Karl and Giules insist on eating at the diner. They were banned from my room the entire day, and playing video games only held boredom at bay for so long. They want company, they tell us. Company, they add, of people under the age of forty.

I’d always known that Karl was close with Kellan, but until now had never gotten the opportunity to see him interacting much with Jonah. They have an easy shorthand between them, and it’s clear that Karl very much respects Jonah’s ideas and opinions and vice versa.

Halfway through dinner, Cora and Alex appear next to the table, as if by magic. “Well now,” she drawls, eyeing Jonah and I slyly. “Was there a party that I didn’t know about?” And I’m surprised that she can tell it’s Jonah, not Kellan, right off the bat, as she greets him by name, which only serves to confuse Alex.

The next thing I know, they’re joining us at our table. “What are you two up to tonight?” I ask casually, hyper aware of Jonah’s arm around my shoulders. He doesn’t seem to care or notice that Alex and Cora are blatantly staring at us.

“We’re going to the movies,” Alex says, dark eyes focused laser sharp on Jonah’s arm, “to see some new foreign film Cora’s been babbling about. Meg’s going to meet us there after cheer practice.”

Jonah rolls his eyes as Giuliana squeals. She’s so sophisticated, though, that she makes squealing a charming thing. “Is it the French movie?” she presses. “I have tried often to get Jonah here to go and see it, but he refuses me every time.” She pouts with puppy-dog eyes that can probably sway just about any man in the vicinity to do anything she asks.

Anyone, apparently, but Jonah.

“Would you turn me down, too?” I attempt to mimic Giuliana’s puppy-dog cuteness, but I’m positive I fail miserably.

He asks warily, “Are you saying you want to see it?”

“Maybe,” I lie. The truth is I have no idea what movie they’re talking about. Besides, I’m more of a romantic comedy kind of girl. “Would you go?”

He sighs and then laughs. “I guess so, if you insisted.”

“That is just wrong!” Giuliana gasps. “No fair!”

Jonah shrugs, unconcerned. He’s got this great shrug that is so boyish and charming.

Cora laughs outright, prompting Alex to say, clearly unable to stand it anymore, “I know I constantly insist I don’t care about dating statistics, but Chloe, c’mon . . . Are you two dating now?”

This makes Cora laugh even harder. Even Karl is snickering. I blush and explain to Jonah, “Being the only guy around for a long time has not made Alex any more sympathetic toward our dating lives.”

Alex leans forward against the table. “Yeah, but that still doesn’t answer my question.”

I must be a mortifying shade of red now. “Fine. Yes.”

There. Despite the fact that we’d only reconnected the day before, I’ve let everyone present know that my feelings for Jonah are serious. Because they are. Very much so.

He squeezes my shoulder and I lean into him a little more. Jonah, for his part, seems utterly at ease with this conversation. Smug, even. But in a good way.

“It’s about time,” Cora snarks.

“What?” Alex asks, surprised.

She shakes her head, exasperated. “Gods, Alex. Get your head out of a book every so often, will you? Remember those shifts?”

He thinks about it for a moment. “Those were because of these two?”

“Give the boy a prize,” Cora says, reaching over and stealing some of my fries. “Now, where’s the waitress?”

Karl and I go to Jonah’s house the next morning. He’s quiet, although clearly making an effort to talk when I know he’d prefer not to. “How do you deal with your first few classes in the morning?” I ask, lounging next to him on his bed.

He yawns. “I don’t speak.”

“Never?”

“Only if I get called on. And even then, it’s rare. I . . . uh . . . .” He pauses, laughing in a guilty way.

“You what?”

“I sort of make the teachers leave me alone. It’s just best that way.”

I laugh and nudge his shoulder. “See? You’re a cheat. Just like I said.”

He tries to argue the point, but I’ve got him this time, and he knows it.

We spend all of Sunday together, part of the time at his house, part of the time hanging out in town and having lunch, and then finally ending up at my house. Karl and Giuliana are constantly present, although they try their best to stay out of our way.

We’re sitting on my couch, watching a girly sort of movie. It was pretty cute, Jonah protested half-heartedly when I’d picked it. But I tried Giuliana’s puppy-dog eyes once more, and this time, without an audience, he totally caved in.

We snuggle under a blanket. It’s a delicious feeling, all cozy and happy. Even still . . . “How do you think we’re going to explain this?” I murmur.

“What, how you’ve convinced me to watch this movie?” he asks, jokingly grimacing. “You realize this will only fuel Giules, of course. She’ll never accept me saying no again.”

“No.” I pull his arms even tighter around me. “I mean us.”

“I’m assuming that most of your friends already know about us, thanks to Cora and Alex.”

I had, in fact, received texts from both Lizzie and Meg demanding additional info earlier. I’d ignored them, though, knowing Cora could fill everyone in just as well as I could. And Caleb had showed up, acting like a protective big brother, demanding an introduction just a couple hours before.

“I’m not talking about them,” I say. “I meant school. After all, most people assume . . . you know . . . that I’m . . . dating . . . uh . . . .”

The silence between us is awkward at best before Jonah says, “Hmm. Yeah, I can see how it’ll be confusing and weird. Maybe you’ll be recommended for a daytime talk show:
Girl Dates Twin Brothers at Same Time.
”

“I am not!”

“Did you let Kel know that when you dropped him off at the airport on Friday?”

Crap. I squirm uncomfortably. “Not exactly.”

He lifts an eyebrow. “Not exactly?”

“Well,
no
then,” I say miserably. “But I plan to as soon as I see him. I’ve thought about calling him, but it would be . . . I dunno, disrespectful. Besides, he asked for space.”

“Fair enough,” Jonah agrees quietly. “He’d appreciate that.”

“Are you mad?” I’m afraid to look at him, worried at what I might see.

He sighs. “Am I disappointed that you two are technically still dating? Yes. Am I mad about it? Yes. But it is what it is.”

We’d gone almost two days without talking about this. Two days too long for me and two days not long enough for him. “I don’t want you to be mad,” I whisper sadly.

“Do you plan on telling him?”

“Of course. The moment I see him.” I chew on my bottom lip, fretting. “Have you talked to him?”

“No.” Jonah sounds tired, almost resignedly so.

“Why?”

“What will I say? It’s a hard thing, knowing my actions and words will only cause our rift to grow wider. And it will, Chloe. There’s no doubt about it.”

Guilt hammers at me harder than even before. This is all my fault.

“Look,” he says, and I twist around so we’re now facing one another, “I’m not sorry you’re here with me. I am absolutely not sorry about anything that’s happened this weekend. I will never be sorry for loving you, and I hope you feel the same way. I’m only sorry that Kellan is a casualty of the poor choices I made when we first got here. Maybe if I’d insisted on us talking that first day, none of this would be a problem.”

He’s just said, out loud, outside of our dreams, for the first time that he loves me. I’d be positively gleeful if we weren’t discussing how I was about to smash his brother’s heart to smithereens. I take a deep breath. “I know you wanted to wait to talk about this, but I’d really like to talk to you about Kellan, about what’s happened between us.”

He stiffens. I straddle him on the couch so he can see my face as I tell him this. I need him to see, that despite everything, I’m here with
him
. I want him to feel everything in me that will assure him that what I have to say will be okay. It’s tense and reluctant, but he agrees to hear me out.

I take a deep breath. I haven’t talked about this with anyone. The closest has been with Kellan, but even then, I didn’t tell him everything. “For the last year, I’ve been . . . angry, I guess. I’ve had a hard time with the lack of choices in my life, of how everything’s already mapped out and dictated to me without anyone ever asking what it is
I
want. My parents have a ridiculous number of expectations about who I ought to be, how I ought to act in school, without ever clarifying said expectations. And I’d lost you. It was like the one thing that’d ever been mine, and not Fate’s, was gone. It only caused me to act out even more. Things felt as if they were closing in on me from all sides. To know I’m going to be removed from everything I know at eighteen . . . .” I pause, swallowing hard. “It sometimes feels like a death sentence. I was close to a breakdown when you first showed up, and when I saw you—like I said before—it was a shock. I mean, there were shifts. I didn’t know how to deal with it all. I was completely overwhelmed. Lizzie and Cora tried to talk to me about it, but I just couldn’t handle it.”

He looks away. “You do realize that we’re connected by Fate. It’s how we were able to find each other in our dreams. I’m yours because of Fate.”

I hadn’t thought about it this way. But I do now. And surprisingly, I’m not angry and resentful about it. It’s the first time, it feels, that Fate did me a favor. I tell him this before continuing. “The same day you arrived, I met Kellan and he looked just like you. Only he wasn’t. It was confusing and fascinating at the same time. And . . . I can’t really explain it to you, because I don’t understand it myself . . . but . . . .” Jonah nods, to encourage me to continue, but he’s clearly wary. I muster the courage to continue. “When Kellan and I first met, we connected . . . .” It’s an unfair word, especially since I’ve learned I have a legitimate Magical Connection to Jonah, but it’s the only word I can think of to describe whatever it is . . . was between his brother and me. “I can’t explain it better than that. There’s a pull . . . .” I pause, struggling now with the guts to continue.

“Go ahead,” he says emotionlessly.

“So I was confused. And . . . other than you . . . I mean, I have reactions to him that . . . .”

Jonah says, almost clinically, “I think I understand.” Then he slides out from underneath me, stands up, and moves to my father’s bookcase, randomly pulling out and shoving in books.

What if these confessions drive him away? I know I’ve got to be honest with him if we are to make this work, but what if this is all too much for him?

He slides out a book that is upside down and shoves it back in correctly. “He loves you. Did you know that?”

I do, but the words have never been spoken. When I don’t answer, Jonah turns and looks at me expectantly. “He’s . . . he’s never said that to me,” I stammer.

“He’s never felt that way about anyone before, you know,” Jonah says, turning back to the bookcase. Two more books are righted on the shelf. “Will you tell me one thing?”

I pop off the couch. Full disclosure. That’s me.

“Do you love him?”

I can barely breathe. I end up stammering some more, completely flustered, “I . . . I . . . .”

When I am unable to answer anything coherently, he says flatly, “That’s what I thought.”

“I love you!” I cry out. I’m on the verge of hand-wringing, like some chick in a historical novel. “I’ve always loved you, for as long as I can remember. I always will.” It’s the absolute truth. He’s got to feel my certainty.

And then my cell phone rings. It’s sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch. I stare at it, refusing to answer, because we both know who it is.

Because the screen shows us both that it’s Kellan.

“You should get that,” Jonah says after I let it ring several times. Then he hands it over.

I have to take a deep breath just to speak. “Hello?”

Kellan’s words are teasing, but I can hear just how stressed he is. “Miss me yet?”