A Love Like This (10 page)

“Mmm… me, too. But lately, I don’t recall
much time sleeping when we’re together. I’ve missed you.”

“Oh, babe. God, I can’t wait to see you. I
think I’ll chain you to the bed and tell Meredith to fuck off next
time she wants to send you packing.”

Julia chuckled softly and I had to join in.
I couldn’t help it.

“Mmmm… sure, you can chain me to the bed.
Sounds sort of fun.”

“Doesn’t it? I want my hands on you.”

“More with the torture, Matthews. If you’re
not too tired, maybe you can come with me to the shoot on Sunday.
It won’t last all day. Will you?”

Hell, yeah.
“Seriously? I’d love to
watch you work.”

“I won’t be doing much other than making
sure nothing else gets screwed up.”

Jane and Beth were watching me and Caleb was
in one of the curtain partitioned examining rooms with a patient
and another nurse. “Baby, I have to go. They’re all looking at me
like vultures waiting for their last meal. The only thing going on
is that the other doctor is digging a marble out of a kid’s nose.”
I huffed and laughed softly when Julia giggled in my ear. The kid’s
mother was screaming louder than the kid and I found the whole
situation beyond hysterical.

“Wow. So promise to get some rest?”

“Yes,
Mrs
. Matthews. Just promise
we’ll teach our kids not to shove stuff up any of their orifices?
It gets damn embarrassing!”

The sound of another burst of tinkling
laughter filtered through the phone and I smiled again. “Love you.
Um… are you planning on shoving something up any of my orifices
later? ‘Cause they are missing your probing parts…
Bad
.”

I burst out laughing in response, the sound
of it filling the empty ER and bouncing off the walls. The girls
glanced at me again, looks of puzzled amusement twisting their
faces.

I struggled to contain the unadulterated
pleasure that Julia’s words brought to me. The laughter continued
to fall from my lips around my next words.

“Oh, you can count on it. I remember why I
love you so much. See you soon, babe.”

I was still smiling when I hung up the phone.
He was so funny! I loved our little moments of lighthearted banter.
Leave it to my perfect husband to turn what could have been a tense
conversation into one that ended in fits of laughter.

I missed him. I wanted to touch him, hold
him, tangle my fingers through his hair and kiss him until we were
both breathless. I just wanted to feel him next to me, and his
strong arms around me; to smell his breath and hear his passionate
whispers and moans while he made love to me.

Ugh… traitor body. Traitor mind. Delicious
torture.

I toppled back onto the pillows, the
brilliant red numbers on the digital clock mocking me as it shone
in the darkness. It was screaming:
Ryan isn’t coming home for
several more hours!

“Oh, shut the hell up, already!” I took one
of the pillows and flung it in the general direction, knocking the
lamp and the clock off of the nightstand and onto the floor. They
landed with a loud thud and I rolled back onto my stomach,
spread-eagled on the bed.

“I hated that stupid thing anyway,” I
groaned in disgust. It wasn’t good for anything but counting down
the minutes until one of us had to leave, reminding us how few
minutes we had left together.

If I never saw another fucking clock again,
it would be too soon. Especially in our bedroom. In this room, I
didn’t want to be reminded of the time. This room was sacred. All I
wanted was my husband, his arms, his body, his glorious mouth all
over me. This was our sanctuary, so no more clocks or thinking
about how short our time together always seemed.

I was wide awake now and had no hope in hell
of going back to sleep. I got up on my hands and knees, pushing off
of the bed to stand in the dark, contemplating what to do. I could
go bake something, I could draw, or I could do laundry. Or… I could
go see my man. Couldn’t I?

I hesitated only seconds before I was
ripping the clothes from my body on the way into the bathroom,
turning on the light, and then the water in the shower. I rushed
into the water, my mind spinning and my heart racing because of my
decision.
Why the hell not?
It wasn’t busy and what was the
worst thing that could happen? He’d be busy by the time I got there
but I’d at least get to look at him, maybe hold him close for a
minute.

I didn’t bother with make-up, only a little
lip gloss and a touch of mascara, and threw on the first clothes I
could grab. It was November, so leggings and the Aran sweater that
Ryan’s parents had brought back for him from Ireland our junior
year at Stanford. It was heavy and long, landing just above my
knees. I scrambled around the apartment getting my phone, purse and
finally shoving my feet into some black boots. I grabbed Ryan’s
down parka off of the rack in the entryway and rushed out the door
of the apartment.

Should I take a cab or my car?
The
decision made, I pushed the down button for the elevator and
glanced at the lights at the top of the door. Why did the damn
thing always take so long when I was in a hurry?
I mean, who is
using the elevator at one in the morning?

I got my answer when it opened up and Lisa
and Stan, our neighbors from down the hall stumbled out of the
elevator, both clearly inebriated. She was giggling and he was
trying to suck on her neck. I smiled as I watched them move past
me. “Oh, hey, Julia,” Lisa mumbled as she tried to push Stan’s face
away in embarrassment. “Stan, stop it.”

“Hi. See ya later.”

When I got to the street I hailed a cab and
quickly hopped in the back.

“Where to lady?”

The cab driver was a scruffy older man
wearing a Yankee’s cap.

“St. Vincent’s. ER.”

“Oh, are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked
anxiously, glancing over his shoulder to check me out.

“I’m fine. But this is sort of an
emergency.” I laughed out loud. It was crazy going halfway across
Manhattan but I couldn’t wait. “I haven’t seen my husband in six
days.”

“Lady, I still don’t get what that has to do
with the hospital.” He pulled out into traffic and started heading
south. “But whatever floats your boat.”

“He’s a doctor. A resident.”

“Oh. I see. Got any kids?”

“Not yet. We’ve only been married a few
months. Ryan is first year so he works all the time.”

“That’s got to be tough. Pretty young thing
like you; I bet he’s chomping at the bit to get home.”

“About as much as I’m
chomping
to
have him there, yeah.” I smiled and sat back in the seat, willing
the drive to be over as quickly as possible.

During the course of the remainder of the
drive, I found out that the driver’s name was Marvin and he had
three children. One was in dental school in Michigan, one was an
artist and the youngest was a waitress in a fancy restaurant on
5
^th
Avenue. He and his wife had a small house in Queens
and he’d been driving a cab his whole adult life. He seemed happy,
but I could only imagine how tough his life must have been.

The parking lot outside the emergency
entrance was relatively quiet. Only three cars and no emergency
vehicles. The other two times I’d been here, it was much busier.
This gave me hope that Ryan would either have time to take a break
or he might be able to leave early. The second option was probably
wishing on the moon, but one never knew.

I leaned up and handed him the money. “It
was nice to meet you, Marvin.”

“Will you need a ride home? Should I
wait?”

“It’s nice of you to offer, but um, I’m
hoping my husband will be off soon and I can ride home with him. Do
you have a card? Then I can call you directly next time I need a
cab, yes?” I flashed him a big smile as I readied to exit the
vehicle.

A large smile spread across his gentle face
in happiness at the gesture. “Yes, miss. Thank you.”

“Julia. My name is Julia, okay?”

I took the card he proffered and opened the
door, his words following me as I got out. “Thank you, Julia. You
are one classy babe. Your husband is a lucky man. I’ll wait until
you get inside before I drive off.”

My heart warmed and I leaned toward him to
put my hand on his shoulder through the window he’d rolled down to
speak to me. “Thank you, Marvin. Have a great night.” I gave him
one last smile before turning and walking quickly into the
hospital.

It was quiet but there was a small group of
nurses and two doctors standing at the counter in the middle. A
tall man in his late twenties turned toward me. He was thin, and
his face was plain with a shock of dark hair that fell over his
high forehead and light grey eyes. “Hello. How can we help you? Are
you ill or injured?” He took the four or five steps necessary to
cover the distance between us.

One of the nurses walked past us and into
one of the curtained rooms behind the doctor.

“Um, no, thank you. I was wondering if I
could… is er…”

Something dawned on the man in front of me
because his face split into a smile and he reached out his right
hand to me. “I’m Caleb; I work with your husband. You’re Julia,
right?”

My face twisted slightly as I tried to
figure out how he knew who I was. I glanced around the ER looking
for any sign of Ryan.

“Yeah, but how did you know?”

He chuckled. “I’ve seen the picture in
Ryan’s wallet. No mistaking that face.”

I felt myself blush and I took his hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, Doctor.”

He shook his head and frowned. “Caleb,
please.”

“Caleb it is. Thank you.” He didn’t seem to
notice my anxiousness despite the way I was fidgeting and bouncing
up and down, or the fact that I kept trying to get a glance into
the room where the nurse had disappeared. Surely, Ryan had to be in
there. “I know I shouldn’t have come, but I’ve been out of town. I
haven’t seen him in several days. I couldn’t sleep, so,” I rambled
on and on.

Caleb looked at me and nodded. “He told me
earlier. I think he’s taking a break in the doctor’s lounge. I
can’t let him leave the hospital until his replacement shows up,
but he was beat and I sent him to rest.”

I sighed. “Yes, he sounded tired when I
spoke to him. I don’t want to wake him if he’s sleeping, so I
guess…” Disappointment washed over me. I looked at the white and
black clock on the wall. He still had several hours until he would
be home. “Is there someplace that I can wait for him?”

“You can go down there. If you want?”

Bingo.
I grinned up at him. “Really?
If you really don’t mind then, yes, please.”

“I get it. Newlyweds,” he teased.

I shrugged and shoved my hands in the
pockets of Ryan’s coat. “We’ve always kind of been this way.
Married or not.”

I noticed two of the nurses nearby. One of
them was working on a laptop computer, connected to a hand scanner
that I assumed held some records of one of the patients and the
other was leaning on the counter, openly listening. My eyes drifted
between her and Caleb.

“I see. Jane, can you show Mrs. Matthews to
the doctor’s lounge?”

The blonde that was checking me out smiled
slightly. “Sure. Be glad to. This way…” She used her arm to
indicate which direction we’d need to go.

I took a couple of steps in the direction
she lead me and then turned back to Caleb. “Thank you.”

My heart was racing as we walked down the
hall but the silence was a little awkward. “Jane, Ryan told me what
a good nurse you are.” I struggled to find something to say. She
seemed shy and extremely reserved.

“He’s a good man. A brilliant doctor,
actually.”

I nodded and glanced at her as she walked
beside me. “Yes. But he works hard. He pushes himself. Sometimes I
think he’s too critical of his work. He wants to be perfect.”

“Uh huh. I know. I’ve seen that side of him;
the one that won’t give up even when he should.” She sighed.

Ryan had mentioned Jane on a few occasions.
I recognized her name and remembered that she was one of the nurses
with him the night he lost the baby with the bee sting. That sad,
heartbreaking,
beautiful
night… the night my memory came
back. The night I got Ryan back, but realized the loss of our baby.
Hearing her speak with such respect for Ryan, my heart swelled with
pride. He was amazing and not just to me.

“Yes,” I agreed quietly. I wasn’t going to
tell her how incredible my husband was or how he had taken care of
me and made me fall in love with him twice. The memory was so real.
I smiled a secret smile and the other woman watched.

“What is it?” Jane asked me, reaching out to
place a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“I’m fine, just a little overwhelmed. I’ve
been away for a few days and I’m just anxious,” I explained.