A Little Complicated (9 page)

We were quiet for a while longer. I had to break the damn silence. “
So, Ellie says you’re good at what you do. Why the bartending?”

After he blinked in confusion at the blatant change of subject h
e smiled in a way I hadn’t seen in a long time and he started telling me all about his job at the Lucky Star. He told me how he’d stumbled into it in college and to keep busy on weekends he’d just held onto the damn thing. He said it was frustrating sometimes but the tips were good and he lit up when talking about his many coworkers.

We shared a few horror stories from work and before long were crashed out on the couch with
Terminator
playing in the background and sipping on beers, laughing like we’d not spent eight years apart. It felt so comfortable having him around. He just fit, which was weird for how short a time we’d actually know each other. But, we’d always been like that. Even when we first met he’d just come into my life and seen where I needed help and silently stepped in where needed. Not volunteering, just doing.

I leaned my head back against the back of the couch, closing my eyes, soaking in the laughter and the buzz and having my best friend back.

“So, you really haven’t had friends all this time?”

I turned my face to him. “I had friends. I haven’t been completely alone. But, not alone doesn’t mean not lonely. I don’t open up easy. I never talked to anyone. No one knew how I’d had a daughter so young. They was all afraid to ask, or too polite, one.”

“Did you ever see a shrink? You know, to deal with your daddy issues?” He wasn’t making fun calling them daddy issues. I really did have them. Bad. My dad had been a mean old bastard. He was older than my mom by twenty years and always thought she was cheating so he’d knock her around to show just what he’d do if she tried to step out on him. I shook my head indicating I hadn’t.

“I can’t talk about it.”

“You talked to me.”

“That was different, Ryan.” I chugged my beer. I really didn’t want to think about my dad. “Why you gotta always bring up the bad stuff?” I slammed down my empty beer bottle and headed for the fridge to grab another.

I heard his slam down as I popped the cap off my new beer and took a swig. I walked into the living room to see him putting on the hoodie he’d removed earlier and gather his cell phone, face a steely mask.

“Ry, what’re you doing?”

“Fuck you!” He belted. I flinched back but he stood his ground. “Goddamn you, Brady. I’m trying to be here and be your friend. I didn’t mean to ask something that made you uncomfortable I was just trying to get to know you again. But you go off sayin’ I’m being negative.”

“Hey, hey—“ I held out my hands trying to calm him.
Possible insecurities? I could definitely tell he was more jaded than he once was but I wouldn’t have called him negative. I’d just been worked up.

“No, this was dumb. I’m such an idiot. I’m sorry I ruined the evening. Guess I can’t help myself.”
Ryan’s tone was entirely too caustic for me to think any of that apologizing was for anything other than the birds.

I stopped him with a firm grip as he walked by me, trying to leave. I held his bicep in a strong grip tha
t he couldn’t shake. “Now, I didn’t mean to snap like that. Is it worth you throwing this fit?”

I really couldn’t imagine what was eating him.

“Is that why you liked my sister better? Is she not all negative like me?”

I reared back but kept my hand locked on his arm. “What’re you talking about, boy?”

“I know. I’m a Debbie Downer. At least that’s what my exes say. Guess it makes sense, now.”

“What makes sense? Not you, that’s for damn sure. Now just slow your roll. You’re acting silly.”

“Oh, really?”

“Whatever these insecurities are, they ain’t true. I never known you to be negative—not til tonight anyways.”

He lost a little of his fight. “That’s what they say. That I’m too jaded.” Funny, I’d just been thinking that word.

Like the wheel on Wheel of Fortune clicking into place I understood real quick. “That’s my fault ain’t it? It’s because I left.”

He scowled at me and crossed his arms best as he could with me still holding one. “It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

I wrapped my arms around him. He was so tense in my embrace but I got right in his ear. “You, Ryan Borja, are perfect. I’m an ornery bastard about some stuff
, is all. I don’t think you’re a downer. In fact, you’re an upper for me.” I guess it was the couple beers making me brave because I could have ruined the thin truce we had going on, but I ground my hard cock into his firm ass and trailed my hand down his stomach. His breath hitched as I slipped my hand into his sweat pants.
Commando. Perfect.
I cupped his balls then stroked his cock slow but firm.

“You, Ryan Borja, have been on my mind since you smiled at me the first time.”

“But—” He stopped with a gasp as I twisted my hand on the head. I turned him in my arms and kissed him. Hard. I took advantage of his gasp, slipping my tongue into his mouth and tasted him. Fuck, it was just like our last kiss. His tongue worked mine like a pro and his mouth welcomed me in a way his stiff posture would not have suggested.

I repeated the gesture that melted him last time. I gripped the hair on the back of his head firmly and pulled him away until our lips were just a fraction of an inch apart. “Ryan, let go. Just let go.” His fierce gaze bored into mine then he crushed his lips onto mine.

CHAPTER TWELVE
Ryan

I forced our lips together and gripped his shirt in both of my hands, pulling him to me. I was giving in, no doubt about it, but I wasn’t going to submit. No way was I just going to melt into him. But I was too far gone and too fucking angry. My cock demanded attention and I’d been denying myself too fucking long. If he we were doing this, we were doing it my way.

“Bedroom,”
I said firmly. Heat flared in the depth of his warm, brown eyes. He appeared to make some sort of decision and nodded to himself before turning and walking off into a room. I followed, my cock calling the shots at this point. It wasn’t stupid enough to pass up this opportunity and I knew I’d be pissed at myself for it later but I needed this.
This
would be closure. Better than just some lame disagreement.

As soon as I walked into his darkened bedroom
, Brady’s hands found me and pulled me into a kiss. He pulled my face down the inch or so to find his lips and our tongues mingled with one another fiercely. His mouth was hot and I drank from it like it would give me back the last eight years with this man, erase the memories of all of the mistakes made to keep us apart.

He parted from the kiss and before I could register what he was doing or complain about the loss of his tongue, it found better uses. He dropped to his knees, pulling down my sweats and licked a line up my cock. I was so hard it was borderline painful. He used his tongue to roll my balls in their sac and I dropped my head back with a moan.

“So good, Brady. Fuck.”

He let out a muffled, devious chuckle before swallowing my cock whole, pulling it into his throat with gripping muscles. I nearly came right there. I placed my hand on the back of his head. “Hold up. I don’t wanna cum. I’m nowhere near done with you.” I said. He pulled off and kissed the tip of my cock, then rolled his tongue around the rim. I shuddered, feeling the waves of pleasure up and down my spine. He sucked me back into his hot mouth, cupping my balls with one hand, rolling them gently. How’d he know that’s how I loved it?

I braced myself with both hands on his shoulders as he bobbed his head up and down. I could just make out his features in light coming from the door that was only open a crack. He swallowed me back down to the root, milking the head of my cock with his throat muscles and humming.

“Fuck.”
I pulled him off my cock and up for another wet, sloppy kiss. We moaned and grunted into our mouths. I ground my cock against his hip, his slipping just underneath my balls. We thrust against one another until I couldn’t take it any. Fucking. More.

“Bed. Now.” I pushed him toward the bed. “Tell me you’ve got stuff.” I said.

“Bedside table. Drawer,” he said breathlessly as he moved back on the bed. I flicked on the lamp before digging out a bottle of lube and a condom. I couldn’t look at him while I suited up for fear I’d lose my load just touching myself. I’d waited too fucking long to be with him like this and I knew I’d never take the chance again so I was doing it right, dammit.

Once I’d rolled on the condom
, I turned to him and felt my heart thud in my chest as I watched him stroke his proud cock. It wasn’t as long as mine. Like the rest of him, it was more compact and perfectly proportioned with the rest of his body. It was short and thick and I had to taste him again.

I dove between his legs and licked him up and down. I’d waited so long for this moment my body couldn’t decide whether it wanted to enjoy it as long as possible or if I needed to empty my balls right then.

I took him in hand and stroked a few times then glanced where he was staring at me with abandon. His mouth hung open, pouty bottom lip wet from his tongue that kept poking out to lick it.

I sucked him in and went to work with fist and mouth, up and down, until he was writhing under me. “Oh, Ryan. So good, baby. So damn good.” His accent got thicker when he lost control and my cock gave a jerk
as I thought of how hot I got him.

I pulled off his cock, licking my lips. As I moved my hips between his legs, cock poking at his balls, I leaned in for a kiss. “You taste good, Brady
. As good as I remembered,” I whispered against his lips then licked with just the tip of my tongue around his open mouth. His tongue poked out to greet mine and was cold from breathing through his mouth. I shivered at the intensity of the sensation.

“C’mon, Ry. Fuck me.” He bucked his hips up against me and I enjoyed the way my cock slid under his balls and rubbed between the crevice where thigh meets hip. I took myself in hand and aimed for his hole, licking around his lips again.

“If you say so,” I said on a moan as I pushed the head of my cock through the ring of muscle. He let a moan out from deep inside his chest and sealed our lips as I pushed in balls deep with one, smooth motion.

We sat like that for a while, chests heaving against one another, tongues dancing and writhing in our mouths. Then I rocked my hips, pulling out then thrust back in. We both grunted. I started a steady rocking in and out.

I’d dreamed such a long time of how it’d feel to be with this man. I’d told myself for years that it’d be best to get one time with him because reality is almost never anywhere near as good as the dream.

The reality was much better.
Fuck.

I propped myself up on my elbows. “So good, Brady. You’re so tight.” And he was. His hole gripped me just right, massaging with his muscles in just the right way. I felt myself coming apart at the seams. There was no way I’d ever top this.

My thrusting became faster and he stared into my eyes with purpose as he pushed his hips up to meet me thrust for thrust.

“Oh, fuck, Brady
. I’m gonna cum.” I couldn’t hold back. The way my balls dragged on the cool sheets only to meet the warmth of his ass; the way his hole caressed my cock just so; the way he looked into my fucking soul with those eyes that held me captive, there was no way I wasn’t going to lose it.

“Do it. Let go, Ryan.” He put his hand on the back of my head but instead of pulling me in for a kiss he pulled me down
where my face was in the pillow and we were pressed cheek to cheek. He licked the shell of my ear and whispered, huskily, “Let go.” And that’s what I did. I buried myself deep inside him and let go, shooting in the condom.

“Oh, yes. Oh yeah, Ry.” His hand worked his cock and he continued bucking on my sensitive cock, working himself off.

I pulled myself from my sanctuary in the pillow and leaned back, pummeling his hole with brutal thrusts. With one hand I held his leg out wide and the other rubbing my thumb over his taint. His head pushed back into the pillows and he groaned. “Ryannnn” as he spilled over his flat stomach. He was fucking perfect, with his mouth open in the cutest O and his body clenching around my cock. I leaned over and licked his exposed throat as his cum flew between us. I gave a final thrust before collapsing on top of him.

He wrapped his arms around me and we kissed languidly for a minute. We kept necking like teenagers until my cock softened and slipped from his body. I rolled off the bed then and went to dispose of the condom. I switched on the light in his en suite bathroom, searching for a towel to clean up our mess. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and saw the stupid smile across my face, the love bites he’d left on my neck and the way my skin was flushed all the way down to my chest from orgasm. I couldn’t remember ever looking or
feeling
so well and truly fucked out.

Then I remembered who this was. What we’d done. Shit.

This was supposed to get him out of my system. I was supposed to dominate him, fuck him and leave him. What was I doing? Making out with him and—And making love to him.