A Little Complicated (7 page)

Her glare at me was one of those that made you very glad one could not be killed by looks alone. “First of all, asshole, he was my boyfriend in high school so she poached
me
. Second, if you don’t take your sister’s cast-offs you’re cancelling out a third of the male population of Atlanta.”

She had a point and it made me snicker.

“See,” she said, pointing at me with a smile. “Now, maybe you should ask questions first. You don’t
know
that they slept together. That’s just what you figure happened. That don’t make it true. Wise up. That boy’s a fine piece of ass. Now get out my car. I got shit to do.” She started shoving me.

“First she says stay,
now she’s shoving me out her car,” I complained. She smacked my ass as I got out and was gone before I had the door shut good, driving off and leaving me with my thoughts.

“No,” I said to the empty parking lot. “I’m finished with this whole stupid thing.” And I was. Totally finished.

***
 

When I got home from picking up my car it was well past my bed time. I had my big boy job the next day which meant I had to be up very early. I had taken a nap, but the emotions of the whole day had taken their toll so going back to sleep was not going to be a problem.

I made my way back to my apartment and showered and changed for bed. Okay, so sleep didn’t come as easily as I’d thought. My mind was blank, which was a blessed relief, but I was still restless. Guess my body wasn’t as tired as my brain. I tried to read but my mind couldn’t concentrate on that. I tried to check my social networks, but my eyes were too tired for that.

Fuck. No porn, I guessed.

I put my laptop back on the bedside table and flicked the lamp off then called up images of the last time I’d gotten laid. It had been a quickie with an old fuck buddy. He was an old college friend who called me up whenever he was in town. The last time I’d seen him had been months ago, though, so calling up a clear image of him sucking down my cock proved difficult. I usually could get off on the sense memory alone, thinking about how it felt to have his cock moving in and out of me. That memory wasn’t clear tonight either.

I grunted my annoyance and fondled myself. My cock responded to my touch, obviously as restless as my body. I lifted my shirt half-way up my stomach and re
ached under to flick my nipples with one hand. I pulled up imaged in my mind of sexy men I’d hooked up with in the past. I fondled my balls, recalling their faces but not the act of actually being fucked by them.

“Fuck!” I snarled
, frustrated. I listened as the word echoed in my empty room and I felt an overwhelming loneliness I hadn’t felt since the night Brady had gone on a date with my sister.

***

Eight Years Earlier

I handed Delilah a cookie. “This is the last one, okay?”

“I won’t ask again,” she promised, eyes wide with excitement as her hands reached up for the cookie I was holding just out of her reach.

“Seriously. You’ll be up all night
from the sugar and your dad will kill me.”

“I promith, Ry-Ry.” She had trouble with her S sounds because she was missing her four front teeth,
two on top and two on bottom.

“I don’t know how you’re eating these damn things with your gums.”

“Eathy,” she snatched the cookie, “I juth dip it in the milk til it’s all thoggy. Like thith…” She demonstrated. I gagged. I was one of those people who’d never liked milk and the idea of a soggy cookie made me want to yak right there.

“Well, after this it’s bed time so
you need to go put on your PJs.”

She dropped her cookie in the milk. “I’ll be back!”
she exclaimed, Terminator style. Probably wasn’t my wisest movie choice for the night. Brady fussed at how much I spoiled her, but she always listened when I said to go to bed or do her homework so I figured for a six-year-old who’d only known me a couple months I wasn’t doing too bad. It was crash course babysitting for me. I’d never even had a younger sibling to watch over so when I told my mom about babysitting she was stunned I hadn’t managed to kill the kid, yet.

Delilah ran back in the kitchen, PJs donned, and inhaled her cookie. Before I even had to instruct her to brush her teeth
, she was off again, bathroom door slamming and water running. I raised my eyebrows. Sometimes I’d forgotten how well-trained she was.
Probably shouldn’t think of a kid as trained, Ryan.
Then I shrugged to myself out of lack for a better word for it.

We went through the nightly routine of story-time. She was obsessed with the Hardy Boys for some reason so we read a few chapters before she finally drifted
off. I carried her from where she’d fallen from the good fight— on the couch— to her Princess bed, which absolutely did not fit the little tomboy. The rest of the room was T-ball trophies and G. I. Joe’s. (“Barbie’s are thilly, RyRy.”)

After I pulled her door to, leaving a crack, I made my way back to the couch and pulled out some English Comp homework. No way could I concentrate, though. Without the little whirlwind of energy keeping my attention my mind kept wandering to the date Ryan was on… With my fucking sister.

Damn that girl. I’d have to move out of the Atlanta Metropolitan Statistical Area just to find a man she hadn’t dated first. She wasn’t a slut or anything, just had a short attention span. I figured she’d find what she was looking for one day but until then she was leaving quite the path of destruction. I still got frequent e-mails and MySpace messages from some of her heartbroken paramours wishing to just “check in” on her.

I hated to think of Ryan being one of those guys. How awkward our friendship would become after she was done with him,
and she undoubtedly would be. I’d come to babysit or help with homework then he’d ask how she was doing and I’d have to watch the pitiful look on his face as I told him she had a new boyfriend. We’d eventually stop hanging out because it’d just be too much for either of us. Or Brady would say something dumb that’d make me want to stop talking to him out of loyalty to my sister. Because, after all, she
is
my sister and bad mouthing her around me is not a fucking option.

Fuck!

I felt a disloyal amount of resentment roiling in my gut, though. A jealousy. She had the man I wanted. I get he’s straight and he has a kid but that didn’t make it hurt any less. I was prepared to see my new friend date, but the last thing I’d expected was it to be Ellie!

As they say, life’s a bitch.

I heard stumbling in the hall, then fumbling with the front door. I stood from the couch in time to see Brady enter with my very giggly sister. She was obviously drunk. Brady looked tolerant but worn out. I knew how that went. Ellie is quite high maintenance and cuddly when drunk. Then again, so am I.

“Need help?” I asked, moving in to help.

“Ryan! Brady said you were friends!”

“Shh!” I hissed. “Dude, the kid’s asleep.”

“Thank you,” Brady said. I nodded to acknowledge I’d heard him. We poured Ellie onto the couch.

“I’ll just leave you guys to it.” I started gathering my things.

“Actually, I brought her so you could take her home. She kept saying she couldn’t remember where home was.” We both rolled our eyes.

“She’s creative,
if nothing else.” I felt the fond smile on my face as I glanced down at her pouting face.

“It’s okay. I can just stay here,”
she said, batting her eyelashes.

“Naw, baby girl,” he said warmly. God, I’d give anything for him to talk to me in that tone. “I gotta get the munchkin up early and it wouldn’t be right for her to see that.”

“Damn you for being honorable,” she said. He placed a peck on her forehead and I had to turn away to keep from screaming at them both.

“You got this?” Brady asked.

“Yeah,” I responded, not looking at him.

“Hey, you okay?”

I turned to him, my smiled just a bit too tight. “Sure. I’ll get her home.”

He studied me. “You know what? It’s cool. She can stay.”

I wanted to take back whatever he’d seen right then.
No! She can’t! She’s going home!
Of course I didn’t say any of that. I just nodded my head and picked up my things. Ellie looked immensely pleased.

“Y’all have a good night.”

“Oh, we will,” Ellie purred. I didn’t stop, just headed out. He could deal with her in the morning all he wanted. I couldn’t believe he was letting her stay with the kid in the house.

I couldn’t believe he was letting her stay with my heart breaking all over the floor.

***

Present
 

I still felt silly for feeling so heartbroken. I just remember how empty I felt that night. I hadn’t realized how much I’d fallen for him until I lay wide awake that night, obsessed with the fact that my sister was probably in his bed as I angsted myself into a state in my dorm room. It still ate me up inside. She’d tried to brag about it the next day but I’d shut that shit down.

Yet, here I was.
Eight years later and I was still hung up on that man. And boy was he all man. He still looked as young in the face as he had then, but his compact body that was about an inch shorter than mine had gotten stockier with muscle. His shaved brown head and glinting, bright brown eyes still held such a mirth that made you instantly comfortable around him. And fuck, that accent was so sexy.

As I fisted my cock I could immediately remember his kisses, his sweet breath. His body had been hard and soft in all the right places and the sounds he made in his throat as he took control of that kiss had almost undone me. And when he’d pushed his cock into mine, I thought I’d cum right there in my jeans for the first time since I was a teenager.

My hand sped up and down my cock. I couldn’t stop the thoughts rolling around. The smile he’d given me the first time I’d met him, the grateful look in his eyes when I offered friendship, the way his heavy cock felt in my hand eight years ago. I couldn’t remember a fuck from three months earlier but the weight of his cock on my tongue was seared in my memory. The taste of him was still fresh in my mind eight years later.

I
imagined how his face would look like as I took him all the way into my throat, showing him just what he’d passed up when he chose my sister over me. When he left me.

“Fuuuuck,” I groaned. With just a few more jerks and a tug to my balls, I felt my load travelling up and through my cock. My whole body curled in on itself as I shot—one, two, three, four—across the flat planes of my stomach.

I lay there trying to catch my breath, feeling like I’d just run a marathon. Then the guilt crept up, just as it had earlier.

This was the guy my sister was trying to get with, the guy she’d
been with
. What was I thinking?

I pulled my shirt off, wiped myself clean then rolled over and tried my damnedest to sleep, pushing the guilt and the memories of Brady Novak as far away as possible.

CHAPTER TEN

I spent the next week in a funk. It pissed me off how obvious it was that I was in such a bad mood. Tarsha text me once and when I said I still hadn’t talked to Brady she called me an idiot. That didn’t help. My mood only suffered more when Ellie said she was going to ask Ryan to go with her to their end-of-year party for the teachers at her school. That party would be held at their favorite local watering hole the following Saturday night on
my
shift and all of the teachers she worked with wanted me to serve them. I would have backed out but my manager e-mailed me during the week to confirm she’d booked me the party that weekend.

I had a week to come down with the flu and damn if I didn’t stand as close to every child with a runny nose that I saw that week. Not my best idea, mind you, because I made a few parents nervous and scared a few children before remembering I’d had my flu shot that year. And it was summer, not exactly the peak of flu season.

I’d studiously avoided Lila that week. I felt bad blowing off a fourteen year old who I’d admittedly missed as much as her father all these years. I remembered the precocious tomboy well and the thought I’d never get to be step-Ryan hurt as much as the fact my sister may end up with that honor.

But I wanted my sister to be happy. She deserved it after putting in the good fight. Happy
Ever After was not an illusion I’d ever bought into. The situation with Brady confirmed that for me, him being the only man I’d ever allowed myself to think of in that light. And that had been many years ago.

So whenever I saw Lila, she’d wave and I’d wave before fleeing to my car. I knew it was probably obvious the way I walked just a bit faster to get to my car whenever she was around. I should have been ashamed of myself. Okay, so I definitely felt ashamed of myself. But I couldn’t get attached. Now that I knew who she was, my heart couldn’t take the hope again and she was definitely like a flint to that particular flame.

I was relieved when I got home that Thursday to find she was not out practicing her racing, as she normally did at that time of afternoon. I assumed that was the hour she’d told me her nurse went home and before her father got home from work. Apparently, she’d earned the right to one hour of unsupervised time after being such a trooper. I’d’ve insisted she get more than an hour if I’d had a say over it. Then I’d remember her spill in the park and would scratch that thought. I’d probably padlock her bedroom door during that hour.