A Little Bit of Truth (Little Bits) (50 page)

I got pictures today of Jacob and some scrawny brunette bitch walking down a sunny street hand in hand, he looked handsome, his eyes hidden behind shades that cost more than my shoes. I should know, I was with him when he bought them. Now she’s with him while he wears them. That hurt more than anything and for a second I nearly turned to the bottle. Instead I deleted my email account and went for a long walk to work.

“I’ll lock up, you get off,” I say to Loryn and wipe down a few of the props I’ve been using.

“It’s okay…” She begins but I cut her off.

“Honestly babe, I’ve got to do some editing anyway. You go, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She shrugs a little, her eyes wary and unsure but fortunately she agrees, “Okay, no problem.
I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Much love,” I shout after her and sit in front of my laptop.

Time to take apart this video.

When watching the video of myself and Kev I noticed some small inconsistencies with the bottom half of the screen where about three rows of seats join in the middle.

I quickly download the file to my laptop and start picking it apart.

What I think has happened is this, they’ve taken half of a video from the day I told Kev to fuck off and added it to the bottom of this. The cameras in the theatre remain in the same spot so if a video is filmed one day, a month later it’ll still capture the same rows of seats in exactly the same position.

So me and Kev are just above the middle point of the screen, the date is in the bottom left. It’s a bit like a jigsaw puzzle.

It takes me moments to figure out and minutes to fix. Then I sit and stare at the original date, my face blank and my emotions still numb. I don’t know why I did this. Maybe to prove to myself that I’m telling the truth.

Have you ever found that the more somebody tells you something that isn’t true about yourself, the more you come to believe it?

I’m not sure what I’m doing with this video so I save it to my laptop and leave it there. A large part of me doesn’t want to prove anything to Jacob anymore. He’s moving on and to be honest, I don’t want to go back. I can’t handle the fact he didn’t trust me or believe me or even give me a chance to prove that I was telling the truth.

Now he doesn’t deserve to know the truth. He doesn’t deserve shit from me. I don’t want shit from him.

It’s time to move on. This has lifted a weight from my shoulders although I’m unsure why. My life before Jacob was brilliant, it’s time to get that back.

So I close up shop and from work I walk to my home.

“There she is,” I hear as I exit the shop. I ignore it thinking it’s reporters or someone taking pictures. I continue walking. “You go.” “No you go.” “I’ll go.”

Three voices argue in the dark. I roll my eyes and keep walking.

“Hey, you’re Marie right?” One of them says and walks in step with me. “You’re the bitch that cheated on Jacob.”

I quirk a brow at her, wondering if I should run back to the shop and then deciding I really don’t give a fuck right now. They can say what they want or try to do what they want to me. Try being the key word here. I’m in no mood to have hands on me, good or bad.

In the low light from the street lamp I instantly clock her I ‘heart’ Stone tee and snort. Even I know this whore doesn’t have a hope in hell with him. Not unless he suddenly gets in to Miss Piggy.

“Back off,” I snap, hearing two more sets of footsteps not far behind. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Why the fuck would you cheat on him?” One from behind asks.

“I didn’t.”

“Video says you did.”

“The video is at the same time he and Beth were together. W
e didn’t get together until later, use your fucking brains if you have any,” I lie. Although if his fanatics paid attention to what the tabloids said then it’s kind of the truth of a lie, if that makes sense.

The one beside me seems to think on it, then she speaks, “So why did you two break up?”

“We had a row, it’s what couples do. We went our separate ways, just like the four of us are about to do now,” I say calmly and run my fingers through my hair. “I’m not in the mood for this.”

“What did you row about?” She just keeps on going doesn’t she? Sigh.

“I don’t know, bullshit stuff that couples argue about. Toilet seat left up, my curling irons left on. I’m sure you ladies know the score.” I let out a long breath. “Look honey, it’s been a real long day and I just want to go home and go to bed with a bottle of whiskey. Not sure if you’ve noticed but I just lost the only man I’ve ever loved and now I’m getting hounded by his diehard fans. Want me to give you his number? I’ll give you it. Try your luck.”

“Now I feel kind of bad,” one of them behind me says, the third one this time. “So you didn’t cheat on him?”

I laugh harshly, “No. Trust me when I say I didn’t. That video is a fake anyway. It’s from ages before, someone has tampered with the date.”

“Who’d do that?” Voice number two scoffs as we turn right at the end of the street. “Seems a bit extreme.”

“No offense but coming from three girls who were about to jump me outside my shop that’s hardly extreme.”

For some reason they laugh at this.
I’m not laughing, not even a little bit. Leave me alone you clone freaks.

“Want to go to Jazz’s?” The girl to my right asks and the other two fall in line to the left of me. “We can get a drink, go dancing?”

I shake my head, “Thanks for the offer but I need to pass. I’ve been on my feet all day.”

“What better way to shake off a broken heart then to dance and drink?”

I grin, this girl sounds like me a year ago, “Maybe some other time.”

“Awesome,” how old is this female? Eighteen maybe? “Well, we’ll call you.”

“Awesome,” I respond but it sounds fake and monotone. “See you later.”

“It’s not safe out here, you shouldn’t walk home alone.”

And that’s how three
Jacob Stone fans, who at first wanted to beat me, then walked me to my door much to my annoyance (all the while talking about the sisterhood women shared even though that was nonexistent when they wanted to beat me), then hugged me each, to which I didn’t return, before going their merry way.

What the fuck just happened?

For some insane reason this makes me want to google him. Something I haven’t done at any point since I met him.

Yet after seeing those pictures of him with another woman I suddenly feel the need to see more. It’s self-torture I know this but I just can’t stop myself.

What I find sucks. What I find really hurts. What I find makes my heart burn behind my ribs and drop to my stomach like an Acme ton that you only see on cartoons.

I cry again. I cry a lot.

I cry until my eyes are puffy and Mason feels the need to hold me. I cry like the pussy I am
. Then I send Jacob an email.

After that I stop my crying, raise my chin and say to my brother, “Time to get my life back together.”

“Fucking finally,” Mason raises his hands to the heavens and thanks… Homer Simpson? He’s so fucking weird.

My phone pings, alerting me to an email. I quickly open it when I see it’s from her. Part of me doesn’t want to but the other part tells me I need to. By now I genuinely thought she’d have told me the truth. She hasn’t. She doesn’t care so I’m getting on with my life.

Maybe that’s why she’s emailing me, to tell me she’s moved on.

Before I can talk myself out of reading it I get on it.

From:
[email protected]

To:
[email protected]

Subject:
Not sure why I’m sending you this.

The real video is attached, do with it what you will. Don’t contact me, this isn’t what this is about. That ship has long since sailed. It’s mostly for my own peace of mind. Whore I may be but cheater I am not. I wouldn’t have done that to you. Kev is an asshole and I wish I’d told you about him sooner. The kiss meant nothing, not even sure why I reciprocated. In my head I was screaming ‘this is disgusting’ and comparing him to you.

You won by the way.

So yeah… that’s it.

Thanks for an awesome time.

Peace.

Oh… fuck… shit… balls.

I watch the video with only one sentence running through my mind. What the fuck have I done?

That ship has long since sailed… I read this part over and over.

How do I know this video is real though? How do I know the last one is fake?

This is all so fucking confusing.

I should take matters into my own hands, I’ll call my buddy and ask him to check the videos out. Fuck. Why didn’t I think of that in the first place?

It’s almost like I wanted us to end.

I threw her away without listening, without giving her a real chance to explain. Do I want to go back?

Will she take me back?

I need to go back to the city, if I go there and clear my head for a few days I’ll know what to do. At least I hope I will.

This is so messed up.

When I make it back to the city, before I reach my door I get confirmation that the video is a fake and Marie’s is the real version.

This wakes me up, truly and totally wakes me the fuck up. I head inside to get changed, the last thing I want when confronting the woman I’m supposed to love and care for is to smell like I’ve been on a plane.

“Maybe you should let her cool down first,” is Lucas’ advice.

“Fuck that, I’ve lost my entire family over this shit. I should have listened to you guys.” I admit, feeling the ache in my chest increase tenfold. “You know Maya hasn’t texted me or called me in two weeks. Two fucking weeks, she calls me daily and if she can’t call she texts. The only people who have got in touch are you and Summer and Summer only updates me on everyone for a couple of minutes.”

“They’re loyal to Marie,” he shrugs as if I shou
ld know this already which I do of course.

“I’ve fucked up.”

“No worse than I did with Loryn and she forgave me. There’s hope.”

I sigh and bury my face in my hands, “I’m calling in the reinforcements.”

“No,” he gasps looking horrified. “Don’t you dare.”

“It’s a must.”

“Dude, take it from another dude… James is not
the
dude you need giving you advice on this shit. Christ, he wears his heart on his sleeve. He has about ten hearts, all of them sensitive, all of them attached to key points of his body. You do not want… stop texting him… put that phone down… don’t you…”

“Hi James, need your help. Can you come to Lucas’? Awesome.” I look at Lucas. “He’s on his way.”

Lucas buries his face in his hands, “You’ve just fucked your relationship.”

“We’ll see.”

He groans, loud and long before standing, stretching and announcing, “I need whiskey for this shit.”

What’s he so dramatic about? If anybody knows romance it’s James.

I think.

He’s sensitive, he’s tuned in to women. If he weren’t so in love with Maya I’d think he were gay. Not that I’m stereotyping gays, it’s just that the ones I’ve met have been a bit more feminine than myself.

******

“Just go all out,” James grins. “
Singagram, notes, texts, emails…”

“Your wife left you after all of those,” Lucas points out. “I say you just march in there, throw her over your shoulder, take her home and fuck her till she’s too tired to argue. When she wakes up you do the same again and again until she relents.”

“Buy her a puppy,” James suggests and Lucas whacks his head on the counter four times, “Marie hates commitment,” he points out in argument. “A puppy is commitment.”

“Buy her the island she wanted, with the waterfall.”

Lucas raises his hand, “Pick me, pick me.” He taps his chin in thought and remarks sarcastically, “Good idea SpongeBob, buy her an island she can escape to whenever he pisses her off.”

James shrugs and moves on to the next option on his list. Yes. He made a list. “Sky writing.”

“It’s the city, how the fuck is she gonna see it dufus?”

This is fun.

“Hire her a starbucks cart to follow her everywhere.” You can do that?

“Or,” Lucas puts in, grabbing the notebook from James and throwing it over his shoulder. “Chop off your dick and laminate the fucker to show everyone you used to be a man.”

At this I laugh, because that’s fucking funny even if it was aimed at me. James scowls at his brother but it’s all in good nature.

“Just do what I say,” Lucas steeples his fingers beneath his chin. “Go to her place, kick down her door, make out with her for a bit, then carry her home and fuck her… done.” He wipes his hands together to end this point. “Easy, no stress and a whole lot of fun.”