A Lil' Less Hopeless (11 page)

“You two want to tell me what happened?” I asked aloud to neither one in particular.

Uncomfortable grunts and shifting stir in the back seat as Tiny wrestled with an answer. Jay beat him to it.

“Just a misunderstanding. Let's drop it.”

I darted my eyes between the road and Jay's bruting form in the front passenger seat. Great.
He's
in a mood.
I pulled up in front of his house and stayed still. I can see Tiny in the rearview mirror, wrestling with whether to follow Jay out of the car or not.

Jay stood outside the opened door waiting for some action or signal as to what direction this was moving.

“You gonna stay the night?” he asked, a touch gentler than his prickish self from a moment ago.

I stared forward at some interesting imaginary object on my dashboard. “Nope. I'm good.”

Tiny huffed and slinked back into the loud springs of the backseat, probably cursing himself for getting in the middle of a lovers; quarrel.

“You really gonna do this? I had my ass almost locked up and you're gonna pull your crap now, too?” Jay spit out.

Oh, he did
not
!

“You're damn right I'm gonna
do
this! Whatever the fuck that means. You two dicks woke me up in the middle of the fucking night to come bail your asses out of JAIL! Not only do I not deserve the bullshit answer you gave me, but I also deserve a little gratitude. So you sleep on
that
, Jay!”

I reached across the empty seat and pulled the passenger door closed, hard. Jay quickly pulled back his hands, so as not to get caught in the moving machinery, and I gunned the gas pedal, leaving him stunned on the sidewalk as we drive away.

We made it home in silence, Tiny not willing to press his luck and risk joining Jay on my shit list. The house is lit up, with almost every window illuminated as we pull into the drive. So much for pop catching a good night's sleep.

“You two all right?” he called out from the kitchen table as we enter.

I laughed to myself. When the hell is anyone in this family ever “all right”.

Pop put down his coffee mug and eyed me. I gave in.

“Just another day in the life of the MC.” I spewed out sarcastically. “I'm going to try and catch a little sleep before the next shit storm.”

Pop’s house was in no way large. I could hear a low-toned mumble from the kitchen as I reach my bedroom. “Trouble in paradise?”

I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. Punching my pillow didn't seem to help. At that rate I'd never fall asleep. Could I live my life like this? I was young enough where I have a good long while ahead of me. Did I want to spend them bailing out my man, not even being given the decency of an honest answer as to why? Worrying about him, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and the one time an officer is going to tell me something other than “the charges have been dropped”? What then? I'd seen what happened when your old man got sent away. I'd seen what it did to my mom. There wasn’t one ol’ lady in the club that hadn't been left alone for some time or another, even Jean, while their old man was sent away. I think Clink's the only one that'd never been away. Those were some really shitty odds.

Deciding to abandon my unsuccessful quest for sleep, I ventured out into the main area of the house. The sun may not have been rising yet, but technically, it was morning. Couldn't hurt to get a jump start on some coffee.

A soft glow from the kitchen was spilling out into the dark before me. I wasn’t alone this sleepless night, was I? Tiny sat at the kitchen table reading yesterday's paper.

“Sup, big brother? Can't sleep either?”

I made my way to the half-filled coffee pot and poured myself a cup. I wasn’t sure who made the pot, Pop or Tiny, so I decided to play it safe and put an extra heaping spoonful of sugar in it. Pop's coffee tasted like liquid tar.

“You want me to make a fresh pot?” My brother asked.

I took a long, cautious sip while taking the empty seat next to him.

Pop didn't make it. “It's good.”

Tiny lets the paper fall to the table. “You still pissed?”

That was a rhetorical question. “Not sure. At least I don't have to see anyone in cuffs, this time.”

“He didn't want me to call you.” Tiny begins. “He didn't want you to see him there. We weren't sure if the charges were going to be dropped or not, and Jay was pissed that you would be there.”

I held my cup between my palms and rolled it lightly back and forth. “Well, isn't that nice. You two go off, doing whatever you do, with no consideration for where it could land you and who will have to clean up the mess. If he didn't want me there, then why didn't he call Vince?”

Tiny blurts out, “It wasn't club business. Vince would have kicked our asses. We needed to keep it quiet.”

Oh really? Since when did the two of them have something going on the side?

“You two are going rogue now? Getting busy behind the club's back?” This shit is just getting worse.

“What? No! We... we...” Tiny wrestled with himself on how much to divulge. He eyed me, gauging how far he should go.

I'd had it. My patience had run out.

“Spill it! Before I tell the both of you to fuck off and never bother me again.”

He blew out his unease. “It was just a little fight, Lil's. Kind of got out of hand and some dip shit called the cops.”

“A
little
fight? You were shot a few months ago, Tiny! You're still healing! What business do you have fighting anyone? And you two weren't wearing your cuts. I'm not stupid. You two were doing something that you didn't want to fall back on the club.”

My brother was becoming defensive. “
I
wasn't fighting, Lil's. We just went there to clean the place out. Drive the message home to those preppy fuckers. Some pansy started to swing at Jay.”

Funny, I didn't see any bruises on Jay. He looked just as rugged and handsomely hot as he always did.

“And what message
were
you driving home to those preppy fuckers?”

Tiny bit his lip, holding himself back. I gave up and pushed myself away from the table.

“Fine! Alright... it was the fraternity house where you got drunk a little while back. Jay and I went there the next day and tore the place up. We found a shitload of pills. Beat the kids senseless and warned them not to have any more parties. They were slipping shit into girl's drinks.”

I eyed him suspiciously as he told his tale.

“Vince found out and tore us a new one. It could have caused a backlash in town about us going apeshit on some of the local college boys. We found out they started having parties again, and some freshman girl was admitted to the ER with date rape drugs in her system. She can't remember what happened... but she knows
something
happened...”

I swallowed hard. “And you two went over there again to finish things?”

He nodded.

I dropped my head back and shook it. I didn't condone violence, but I knew it had a very real place in my world. In Jay's world. I couldn't just overlook the terrible, but I had to objectively balance it out. They may have originally gone over there to protect or redeem me, but they went back to protect others.

I leaned down and gave Tiny a hug, barely able to wrap my arms around his width.

“Thanks, Tiny. You're a great big brother.” I kissed him on the cheek and hurried to brush my teeth and quickly change.

******

The door was unlocked as I entered, things were dead quiet inside. It was still early to most. I'd already had my morning run and showered, but most people were still sound asleep in their beds. I slipped off my shoes and placed them neatly next to Jay's boots. His leather cut was hung over the stair banister. I trailed my fingers over the soft, cool leather. A gentle weight pulls on my heart as I trailed over each of the patches. Jay earned each of these with his sweat and loyalty... even his blood when necessary. Yet last night, he was willing to give all of those same things, with nothing to gain other than a sense of doing the right things. No patches, no glory. Just peace of mind.

I treaded softly down the hallway. The bedroom door was open wide and I saw the bare back of the man I love with his gorgeously sexy tattoo welcoming me. He may have left his leather home last night, but he’d never be able to escape it. It was as much a part of him as that ink was. I needed to learn to come to peace with it, with everything that came with it. I just hoped I could, for both our sakes.

The blankets were twisted and curled around his sleeping form, evidence of an uneasy sleep. I peeled my sweater off and let it fall silently to the floor. I hooked my thumbs around the elastic waistband of my yoga pants and see-sawed them down my legs until they were nothing more than a puddle around my feet, and I stepped free of them.

Jay's chest rose and fell evenly, expanding with every breath. The empty glass and half full bottle of brandy by the bedside table gave an explanation to his deep sleep. Placing my knee on the mattress I gently crawled over to him until our bodies were touching. The fevered heat of his skin warmed me, encouraging me to get closer. I wrapped my arms around him, spreading my flesh over his.

He began to stir ever so slightly. I raised my leg to intertwine between his own, resting my hip over his hard but perfect ass. His boxers moved with my motion. Placing my aching lips onto the small of his back, I pursed them together. Kissing the taut muscular body beneath me, I breathed in his scent, tasting the slight saltiness of his skin.

Mapping my way around his broad back, kissing each bulging muscle deeply, I began to hear the moaning being muffled in the pillows.

“Mmm....” he let out, just audible enough for me to hear.

I raised myself up and slid over his skin until I was settled on his back, nuzzling into his neck.

“I love you...” I whispered into his ear, before taking the slope of his lobe into my mouth and pressing it between my lips, sucking on it.

A groggy, heavy voice wafted out, “You almost ran over my foot.”

I laughed into his hair. “Make love to me, Jay.”

With little to no warning, Jay rolled over purposely, moving me under him and covering my lips and answering my plea with his waking body. His hands slipped under my back and played with the clasp between my shoulder blades, working to free my chest for himself.

His efforts proved successful and by boobs sprung to life, as he buried his face, losing his words as he devoured my breasts. His hands kept busy, though, as he worked them down to my thin, barely-there string lace panties. He fisted them at each hip, and lifted his lips.

“Why do you even wear these? They're nothing more than dental floss.”

I smirked, eyeing him as he stared at me hungrily. “So you have something to take off, baby.”

He crashed his lips into mine, thrusting his tongue in harshly. I could feel his need hardening even more than it already was, pressing into my leg. He pulled his hands down, forcing my thong down with them, between my legs. I could feel the moistness of them on my own skin.

Jay plunged his finger into me, pointing up into my core as his thumb circled its way around my prickled bundling. Straining to reach down, my fingertips searched for his boxers just out of reach as our tongues wrestled. I pushed myself against him, arching myself and gaining the necessary inch to tug on his briefs, stopping mid-thigh as I could reach no further.

His own hand picked up where mine left off and maneuvered the cotton barrier away from us.

“I'm still pissed that you almost ran over my foot.”

He swiftly removed his busy lower hand, uncorking me just long enough to thrust his cock in hard. I yelped my pleasure aloud before he covered my mouth with his own, and masterfully rode both of my entrances.

His weight proved heavy for me as I struggled to fill my lungs, my moans stifled with gasps. Jay unlatched his lips from mine, swooping himself up to sit on his knees, taking care to keep us connected. He may be the one to have just woken up, but his eyes are wide and alert while I had no doubt mine were in fact dreamy.

Pressing my knees up and folding them in, he leaned forward again towering over me. Propped up on his forearms, pinning my thighs high against me, he gained just a touch more clearance to bring us closer, deeper into each other. The extra closeness came with a price, though, as his lips were now far from mine.

I bit my bottom lip aching to use them in some way. His finger reached up and swiped across my imprisoned lip, freeing it from my teeth. I latched on to his finger, instead, tasting his muskiness and suck it intensely as I whimpered away the growing pressure between my thighs. Jay doubled his efforts at the sudden example of the depth of my own need. My lower legs bounced freely with the rippled impact from every pounding he delivered. I released his finger quickly, allowing me to to throw back my head and scream my release.

My muscles contracted over and again, no opportunity given for them to calm themselves as Jay ground into me. His morning stamina was insane, proving me to be an amateur compared to him. Even though his kisses were deep, I felt my mouth drying out from the lack of body fluid. The stubble on his chin chaffed my cheeks raw, but I needed it to continue, to never end.