A Life More Complete (31 page)

“What’s taking so long?” he asks
looking up from his phone.

“I don’t know. Pregnant people have a
lot of questions?” A soft knock startles both of us and we turn to look at the
door. My doctor appears in the doorway carrying my chart and a few other items.
She gets right down to it. She introduces herself to Tyler and then begins my
internal exam. I wince and Tyler stands to hold my hand.

“Yep, you’re definitely pregnant,”
she says jotting notes in my chart. She quickly goes over the due date and
hands me a folder. “This should answer any questions you have about your
pregnancy. Take some time to read over it when you get home.” I’m floored by
how quickly the exam is over, not to mention how aloof she is about the whole
thing. I know I’m not the first pregnant woman in the world, but I was
expecting more than a three minute appointment. I stop her abruptly as she
begins to exit the room.

“Dr. Payne? I have a few questions I
was hoping you could answer for me.” She turns to look at me and takes a seat
on the swivel stool that she had just vacated.

“Sure,” she doesn’t sound happy, but
she isn’t as annoyed as I expected. I look at Tyler and I struggle to find the
appropriate way to ask what I need to.

“Well, this pregnancy is unexpected,
but that doesn’t mean I, I mean we, aren’t thrilled. In saying that, I
obviously didn’t know I was pregnant...” I try to continue but I’m mortified by
my behavior during all those nights I was out drinking with Melinda. I didn’t
come clean to Tyler and now I’m doing it in front of the doctor. “I’d been
drinking pretty heavily for the past few weeks. This was before I knew I was
pregnant.” I pause and look at Tyler and then back at the doctor.

“Well, Kristin, I assume you know
that drinking during pregnancy is not recommended and I’m sure you are fully
aware of the major problems that can stem from it. But in all honesty, life
happens, birth control fails and I know you’re a smart person who would never
risk the health of her baby for a drink. If it appeases your mind, the baby doesn’t
begin to develop organs until around the fourth or fifth week. You are just now
in your sixth week of pregnancy, so try not to worry. The likelihood of
anything coming to fruition is slim.”

She smiles kindly and asks whether we
have any more questions. I shake my head and Tyler agrees. She shakes our hands
again and leaves the room. I breathe a sigh of relief as she leaves. It’s been
at least two weeks since I went all drunken sorority girl with Melinda, so I
can breathe easier. Hearing her words I vow to never drink again. I know I’m
being slightly unreasonable and probably a bit of a liar, but right now it
seems completely logical.

Tyler doesn’t mention my little
divulgence as we walk to the parking lot and I take it as a sign that he is
trying. Normally he would have called me out on something like this. But today,
he takes my hand, places three small kisses along my fingers and opens my car
door for me. As he closes the car door, he whispers, “December ninth.” Just
hearing it makes my whole body tingle.

The weeks pass by and Tyler is
attentive and loving more so than I can ever remember. When we first began
dating in high school he was so incredible and the same goes for now. He is
going out of his way to make me happy. Rubbing my feet at the end of the day,
bringing home whatever it is that I happen to be craving in the moment. Driving
across town to Arby’s or stopping at Rite Aid to pick up a package of Hostess
Ding Dongs, it didn’t matter my request, he fulfills it. He begins answering
his phone on the first ring anytime I call and texting me back with such
frequency that I almost ask if it is his assistant replying. But like all good
things, it will come to an end. Pessimistic or just thinking clearly, I’m not
sure?

Sometime around the first week in
May, Tyler makes an honest woman out of me. It should’ve been a sign that I had
absolutely no recognition of the exact date but that detail seems to slip my
mind. No big elaborate wedding, no white dress, or fancy reception, just your
run of the mill courthouse style wedding in West Hollywood. We get married in
the park across the street with my sisters in attendance and Tyler’s law firm
partner Ryan. Sign the paper work, smile for a few quick pictures and make it
official.

I’m beginning to show and I know I
have to come clean to Ellie. I’d taken a few days off of work after getting
married and I figured when I returned I could impart her with the news that not
only had I gotten married but that I’m also pregnant.

I email Ellie as soon as I arrive at
the office that morning requesting a meeting with her. When my Outlook calendar
pops up with a scheduled appointment for noon, nervousness takes over. Since
the debacle with Trini my relationship with Ellie turned a corner. She might
have been perceived as the office hard ass and all around jerk of a boss, but I
know a slightly different model. I know the person who reserves her kindness
for when no one is around and there was actually one day recently that she
pulled me into her office for what seemed like a confession, but derailed
around the time she got to the juicy part. I feel bad for her knowing that what
little friendships she does maintain still seem like acquaintances. Everyone in
the office noticed the shift in Ellie’s mood not to mention her sudden affection
for me. Little did she know that everyone in the office, including me, is dying
to get his or her hands on any gossip surrounding Ellie’s private life. It’s
something she guards so closely that not even I am privy to that information. Truth
be told, Ellie terrifies me and I’m always worried she’s going to randomly fire
me.

 
I race over to Melinda’s office in hopes
that she can help me formulate some type of explanation that seems valid. Considering
I’ve hidden the fact that I’m pregnant and now married, I might come across as
a bit insincere.

“Mel, what am I going to tell her?”
Throwing myself onto the corner of her desk. “I was hoping to put it off a
little longer, but I think people are starting to suspect.” She swivels her
desk chair to face me. Flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder, she
laughs.

“Starting to suspect? I’ve been
fielding questions for weeks. It’s kinda hard to hide a pregnancy when you
weigh hundred ten pounds soaking wet. Every pound you gain shows. I keep
telling people you love Mexican food and donuts.”

“Well, at least that’s true. Now
seriously, what should I say?”

“Just tell her Tyler knocked you up. What’s
she gonna do, fire you? One, that’s against the law and two, if she did, it
would be the greatest day of your life. Collect unemployment. Doesn’t sound too
bad to me.”

“Jeez, could you be more helpful?” I
ask sarcastically. “I’m afraid to tell her. She’s gonna be so pissed. You know
how much she hates kids. Remember when Rebecca from H.R. was pregnant? Ellie
avoided her like it was disease. And when we threw her that baby shower Ellie
refused to buy something off the registry because she said that asking for
gifts was in poor taste.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” she
says widening her eyes a bit.

 
“Shit, maybe I should wait to tell her.”

“Don’t be such a chicken. She’s a
pain in the ass.” She waves a dismissive hand at me.

“That’s it? You don’t have better
advice?”

“No,” she says grinning.

“Sometimes you’re impossible.”

“But you love me,” Melinda says
confidently.

“Right now I don’t.” I leave her
office and hit up the lounge for any leftover donuts from this morning.

This is one of those times that I
wish Bob still worked here. Normally when Melinda was her useless self I would
thunder into Bob’s office next and unload my latest mishap on him. He was
always more supportive than Melinda and maybe it was our mutual desire to
someday fall hopelessly in love with the right guy and get married that bound
us. Bob is my go-to when life gets ridiculous and I need someone to talk me off
the ledge. Bob was there when the heel broke off my shoe in the middle of a
dinner party causing me to bust ass at the entrance to the restaurant in front
of at least four clients. Chuckling, he cracked the heel off my other shoe and
handed it back to me without missing a beat. When I chipped my tooth on beer
bottle he made light of it and called me Lloyd Christmas for the rest of the
week. He somehow managed to make my stupidity seem endearing all the while
assuring me that he’d love me no matter what.

I flop into my desk chair and dial
his number, twirling the cord around my finger as I debate the method I should
use when informing Ellie.

“Bob,” I nearly scream into the phone
when he answers.

“Krissy,” he replies back with just
as much intensity. “What’s up, baby?”

“Oh shit! I have to tell Ellie I’m pregnant
and I have no idea what to say. Well, I know what to say...”

“I figured you’d just wait it out
until the Mexican and donuts excuse was played out and then drop the bomb.”

“Here I am not even twelve weeks and
that excuse has reached its limit. I was hoping to go longer, but everyone in
this effing office is so gossipy. Please just tell me what to say.”

“You can do this. Just tell her the
truth. I know she hates kids, but she doesn’t hate you. Look how it turned out
after you told Tyler? Good, right? Give Ellie that same courtesy. Whatever you
do don’t bring your phone with you.”

“Why,” I ask all the while wrapping
the phone cord around my finger so tightly it cuts off the blood to the tip
turning it a ghastly pale color.

“Because you will check it obsessively
making it look like the conversation is boring you and if you don’t check it,
you’ll fumble around with it and more than likely drop it, in turn bumping your
head on her desk as you bend to pick it up. Enough of a reason? Don’t get me
wrong, I think you’re adorable, but Ellie will see it as weakness.”

I sigh deeply, “Creepy.” He knows me
better than I even know myself.

“You may think I like Melinda better,
but honestly, I love you more. Tyler is one lucky guy and baby nugget is even
luckier that he or she gets you as their mom. Regardless of how it goes with
Ellie, it doesn’t matter anymore. Take care of you and that baby.”

“Bob, I love you, too. This is just
what I needed.” My nerves begin to settle and the nausea that had formed in the
pit of my stomach begins to fade.

Noon rolls around lightning fast and
my anxiety returns two fold. I mill around in my office for a few minutes
repeating in my head to give Ellie the benefit of the doubt. I grab my phone
off the desk as I’m leaving my office, but quickly recall Bob’s words and toss
it back. I knock on her door and she calls to enter. Even without my phone, I
still make an ass of myself by somehow getting the sleeve of my shirt stuck to
the door handle. As I enter her office, my whole body is yanked backward with the
door narrowly missing my face as my butt slams into the door jam. Classy.

“Sorry, Ellie,” I mumble as I take a
seat across from her.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,”
she says with a small smile. “So, you called the meeting. What’s going on?”

Here, I find myself, once again with
a fabulous monologue prepared in my head. I’m so composed and articulate. The
perfect mix of seriousness and humor, but like my life, it just comes out all
wrong. At least I’ve gotten it together enough that I’m not blubbering like a
damn fool.

“I’m pregnant,” I say sheepishly, looking
down at the industrial steel gray carpet and finally back up at Ellie. “Oh
yeah, and I got married.”

I’m beginning to regret my blurt it
out method. It’s not something I’m proud of, yet my skills in articulation are
severely lacking.

“Okay,” she says. “Well, I’m sure you
are aware of your rights by law. If you have any questions regarding your FMLA
or your health insurance you can contact H.R. Michael deals with the insurance
end of it, so it would be best to speak with him about adding the baby to your
policy. We do not have paid leave here, but you are able to use any accrued
paid time off you may have available to you. When you do return to work you’ll
still be expected to maintain the same level of work ethic that you...” she
fades and then takes a deep breath. Running her hands through her hair she
looks at me sympathetically. “I’m sorry. I’m being insensitive. I’ve never
dealt with a situation like this where I actually like the person or where I’m
truly happy for them. Congratulations to you and Tyler. I wish you the best.”

Ellie leaves her chair and walks over
and pulls me into an embrace. She’s stiff and stands a little too far from my
body for it to be meaningful, but I understand the gesture. It’s hard for Ellie
and this is her attempt at kindness.

I leave Ellie’s office with a spring
in my step. Two for two not so bad. Maybe this benefit-of-the- doubt thing is
something I should add to my everyday life.

I text Bob as soon as my butt hits my
desk chair.

Me: Um, she was totally cool. A non-issue.

Bob: Told you.

Me: My shirtsleeve got caught on the door. At least I didn’t fall.