A Life Like This (Life #1) (7 page)

-Angie

Which Way Suits You?

Angelica,

How would you like to interpret it?

-Blake

Shit, of course he would turn this around on me. What was I thinking emailing him that? He makes a valid point though; how would I like to interpret it? Do I want more than just sex with Blake? Could I, the queen of no relationships, allow myself to like him? I just don’t know. I have to get advice. I go to my speed dial and call Joey.

“Miss me so soon, baby girl?”

“Always, I need your advice,” I reply quickly.

“What is it, everything okay?” He sounds worried.

“Everything is fine. I’m sorry to worry you. It’s about Blake. Do you think I could have an actual relationship with him?” I ask. There is no response.

“Hello, JOJO?” I yell into the phone.

“Sorry, baby girl, I’m just in shock. This guy is really under your skin. You’ve known him a whole three days and you are already contemplating more. You’ve never contemplated more with anyone. The fact that you are even asking me is telling.”

“I don’t know what it is about him—actually, no, I do. He’s intelligent. It’s easy to be around him. He’s a great fuck, but more than that, he’s fun. We get along, we joke. I don’t know… I just feel like he is different from anyone else I’ve fucked.”

“Wow, just wow. If you really like him this much already, I say go for it, baby girl, but be careful. You and I both know how you get. Just let everything flow, okay? See what happens and try not to ruin it before it even starts.” The concern laced in his voice warms my heart.

“Thank you, Joey. I’ll call you later, love ya. Bye.”

“Love you more, baby girl.” With that, we hang up.

How do I want to approach this? How can I respond without sounding desperate? Well, honesty has gotten me this far in life; I’m not going to stop now.

All of the Above?

Blake,

I’d like to interpret every scenario that popped in my head...

-Angie xoxo

My God, I hope the xoxo wasn’t too middle school for him. Ugh, what was I thinking with that last part? Shit. While I’m mentally chastising myself, my phone rings in my hand. I immediately gasp, thinking it’s Blake. Maybe the emails were just getting redundant? I look down and to my surprise, I see my mother’s name. Hmm, she very rarely calls me. This can’t be good.

“Hello Mother,” I answer.

“Angelica, darling, how are you? I hope well. What do you say we go have a late lunch or perhaps just do some shopping?” she replies. Her tone is off and the way she is rushing her words has me sitting up straight.

“Mother, what’s going on?”

“Am I truly that obvious?”

“Yes, you are. Please just tell me.”

“Well, I would have liked to have told you this in person, but it seems I have no choice. It seems that Edward is moving back to the city and I thought I should be the first to tell you.” Her tone is sad and worried. I don’t respond immediately. I am stunned. I could have never imagined this day would come. I thought Grandpa TJ had done all that he could to make sure he never moved back here. Clearly, I was wrong. As if sensing my thoughts, my mother adds more. “He made it a point to reach out and tell me this himself. I told your grandfather the news when I found out. He is not pleased. He insisted on coming into town to be with you. There was no talking him out of it. He’s on his way.”

“Mother, how could you let him fly out here? I’m not a child any more. I can fight my battles on my own. Just because he is going to be living in the city again does not mean I will see him. Ugh!” I sigh in frustration. My grandfather is in his eighties and does not need to be flying out here. I’m annoyed, but I know that even I cannot talk my grandfather out of anything. I have tried before and failed. When it comes to me, he is over-the-top over protective. While I’m pondering these emotions, I hear my email alert ding. Only now, Blake is so far off my mind I don’t care to read it. “What time will he be in?” I ask my mother.

“In an hour.”

“An hour, Mother? When did you tell him and why did it take you so long to tell me?” I’m now yelling at her, but I cannot help it.

“Do not raise your voice at me, Angelica. I found out this morning and told your grandfather right away. He wanted to be here when I told you, but I felt it only fair that you know what’s going on.” She makes it sound like a business deal. My mother and I never really did have a heart-to-heart talk after I told her what Edward, her ex-husband, did to me when I was younger. I’m not sure that if we would have anything would be different. My mother is too selfish to care about anyone but herself. Myself included. I’ve always come last on her list. If I ever have children, I will do my damnedest to be everything my mother wasn’t. Unable to contain the tears any longer, I just hang up the phone. I know I’ll get shit about that decision later, but I just cannot talk to her about this. I need Joey. He is my true family; she never will be.

“Jeez, baby girl, I feel awfully special with all these phone calls I’m getting today.” He laughs, but stops when he hears my muffled cries. “What the fuck did that asshole do to you already?”

“Nothing, Joey. It’s Edward. He’s moving back to the city.” I hope he understands what I just said because I barely can. I’m now sobbing uncontrollably.

“FUCK! I’m on my way,” he replies and the line goes dead. I throw my phone on the floor and curl up on my bed. Roger jumps up and lays next to me. God, I love this dog. I grab him and sob into his fur. I don’t know how long I’ve been crying. It feels like hours, but it must have been a mere fifteen minutes because Joey is running into my room. Thank God, he has a key. I don’t even have to look up, I know it’s him. I hear him kick off his shoes and feel him crawl into bed behind me. I cry harder. He turns me around so I’m crying into his chest. He kisses my hair and just lets me cry. This is why I love him. He knows I don’t want to talk about anything; I just want to cry. I don’t know when, but at some point I must have fallen asleep because I hear Roger barking downstairs in the living room and I am now alone in my bed. I know it’s my grandfather before I even hear his voice.

“Where is she?” he shouts at Joey.

“Hello, Mr. Cane, she is asleep in her room.” I hear Joey reply calmly. Joey respects my grandfather tremendously. My Grandfather, TJ, was and continues to be the father I never had. When I was about to get my driver’s license, I asked to take his last name instead of the one I had. I had no relationship with my piece-of-shit father and he didn’t want anything to do with me, so why carry his last name? When I told my grandfather, he cried. The man is tough as nails, so that was a rare sight. After that, I’m sure he paid my father off to get him to sign the form. I hate when my grandfather uses his money on me, but in this instance, I was happy.

My father may be a piece of shit, but like many other people, money is the key to everything. He started a new family and has other children. It saddens me to know he can be a good father, just not to me. Fuck him. At least I have my grandfather. I’ve shared this story and many others with Joey. I’ve also taken Joey to Texas to visit the family farm. Even in overalls, Joey is a sight for sore eyes. I shake my head at my inability to keep my mind on topic and head downstairs to the living room.

I hear the two men talking in the kitchen, so I head in that direction. I stop in the hallway and just stare. Joey is dressed in sweats and a loose white T. Clearly, he didn’t care what he looked like before he came over. That’s a big deal for JoJo, but even so, he is a handsome man. Next to him is my grandfather, looking like he walked right off the ranch. His cowboy hat sits on the kitchen counter right next to his hand, in which he always wears his thick gold wedding band and a leather watch. He wears his signature long sleeve red and black plaid shirt, his Levi’s faded, which never go without a belt, and his big ol’ cowboy boots. Just looking at him takes me back to vacations on the farm. God, I’ve missed him. I walk further into the room and Joey turns his face when he sees me. I smile at him and walk toward my grandfather. He turns and engulfs me in a great big bear hug, my favorite. He towers over me at over six-feet tall. I’ve always felt safe in these strong arms.

“Hi, Granddad.” I start to cry as soon as I say the words. I’m just overly emotional and I’ve missed this man.

“Hey, sugar, I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner,” he says softly.

“You know you didn’t have to come all the way up here for me. I’m a big girl, and I’ll get over these emotions; then I’ll be good as new.” I smile as we break our hug.

“Angelica Marie, don’t you dare lie to me. Look at you. I don’t care about flying up here. I should be doing it more often. I’m here to be with you. I’m sorry, baby, I am. I thought I handled Edward. I thought he would never be anywhere near you again.” I can hear the hurt when my grandfather talks.

“No one would have thought he’d come back, Mr. Cane” Joey says to him. We all stand there for a minute not talking. Although I’ve had an easy day, I feel like I ran the NYC marathon. I’m exhausted. I walk over to the living room and plop down on the couch, and Roger sits at my feet. Joey covers me with my throw, and then sits next to me. My granddad sits in the recliner next to us.

“Well the fact of the matter is he is back. We’re going to make sure he does not make contact with you, Angelica. I won’t have it,” he says sternly.

“Mr. Cane, you can guarantee I will be by her side from here on out,” Joey says.

“ENOUGH!” I yell. “I am not a baby. I appreciate your concern, both of you, but you have to stop. He hurt me a long time ago. I’m stronger than I was when I was eleven. It’s not like he is going to rape me again,” I say sadly. “Granddad, JoJo, I’m sorry. I was caught off guard. We both know my mother isn’t exactly the warmest person with her words. Look, it shocked me. I cried. I’m done.” I look at both of them and plead with my eyes that they believe me. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t go out of his way to run into me like he used to. I have over a month of vacation saved up. I’ll take a week and just pamper myself. Then I’ll be back at work and everything will be fine. I just need some time to gather my thoughts. Please, let me handle this on my own.”

I’m pleading with these two men. I know they love me dearly and are only looking out for my best interests, but I need to handle this on my own. I don’t know how much more of these overbearing men I can take right now. And with that thought, the doorbell rings. Gasping, I jump up, startling Roger into hysterically barking at the door. Without even realizing it, I have tears streaming down my face again. My granddad sits next to me and holds me while Joey goes to get the door. He stomps the whole way there, radiating tension. He yanks the door open without even bothering to look through the peephole. From my spot on the couch, I see who it is instantly. Fuck me running. Can today get any worse? I wipe my eyes, but it is no use. I’m sure my eyes are puffy and my once nice makeup is running down my face.

“What do you want, Blake? Now’s not a good time,” Joey asks him. Glancing over Joey’s shoulder, Blake spots me on the couch and pushes his way inside.

“Angelica, what happened to you? Are you okay?” He kneels in front of me, and the look of concern etched on his face makes the tears come once again. Why does everyone worry about me? Why can’t I just be alone for a while?

“Whom would you be, young man?” my granddad asks, using his authoritative voice.

“Please pardon me, my name is Blake Harper. I’m a friend of Angelica’s. I grew worried when she stopped responding to a series of emails. I tried to reach her several times, but when I called her phone, it was shut off.” Blake genuinely sounds concerned. He holds his hand out for my granddad. Granddad just stares at him for a minute before taking it. Blake must have been so worried. Why was my cell phone off? As if reading my thoughts, Joey shrugs.

“I thought you could use some sleep so I shut it off. It was ringing off the hook.” He looks at me sympathetically, but he knows I’m not happy with his decision.

“Son, I’m afraid I am going to have to ask you to leave. This is a family matter that needs to be dealt with in private.” My granddad’s tone leaves no room for arguments.

“I’m sorry, sir, I meant no disrespect. I was merely worried about Angelica. I’ll leave now that I know she’s safe.” Blake stands then leans over and kisses my cheek. I don’t know what comes over me, but I throw my arms around his neck and hold him tightly. I don’t know Blake very well, but he makes me feel safe. In the little time we have been together, I have felt happy. Happy isn’t an emotion I freely express.

“Please don’t leave me.” I know I sound desperate to this man right now, but I don’t care. If his being near me calms my nerves, then I will have him by my side. “Granddad, I want Blake to stay with me. Joey, go home. I’ll be fine. And, Granddad, you go to your hotel and get settled. Come back in the morning and we’ll have breakfast. I’ll make all your favorites, I promise.” I give my granddad my lopsided grin and stick my lower lip out. He grins at me, and I know he can’t resist that. I’ve been using it on him since I was five years old.

“Angelica Marie, you know I can’t say no to that face. Blake, if you plan on staying here with my granddaughter, I expect you to sleep on the couch or in one of the guest bedrooms.” He shoots daggers into Blake’s eyes.

“Yes, sir, I will not leave Angelica’s side and I will remain on the couch for the duration of the evening.” Blake is looking straight into my grandfather’s eyes. Both men stand and face one another. They are both nearly the same height, Blake having him beat by a few inches. The two men shake hands again. Granddad comes and gives me a hug, telling me he will be here for breakfast. I kiss his cheek and walk him to the door.

Joey is in the kitchen opening a beer. “Sweetie, you know I am not leaving you tonight. I don’t care if your McHottie stays here as well, but I guess we’ll be having a slumber party.” He grins and winks at Blake, obviously trying to irritate him. Blake just shakes his head and pulls me onto his lap on the recliner.

“Slumber party it is.” I smile at Joey, knowing there is no use in trying to talk him out of it. The man is just as stubborn as I am. I nestle into Blake’s embrace. With everything going on, I hardly noticed what he was wearing. Leather boots, worn jeans, and a black fitted T. The man is freakishly handsome. And he smells divine, like a delicious man. God, I could sit here and smell him all day. What has gotten into me? I went from not doing relationships to begging Blake to stay with me. I hardly know the man.

“Although I don’t mind you breathing in my scent,” he winks at me, and I think I turn as red as my throw blanket sitting next to me, “but if it’s not too much to ask, can you tell me what happened? Everything was fine and then you just disappeared on me.” He looks genuinely concerned. I sigh, knowing he can’t be kept in the dark, not if I want him to hang around. I look over at Joey and can feel my eyes water.

“Do you see the pain you’re causing her by making her tell you that?” Joey says harshly, and Blake turns my face to his.

“I’m sorry, Angelica, please forget I said anything. I’ll just hold you until you’re better. You don’t have to tell me anything,” he croons to me.

I haven’t told anyone this story in a very long time. I’m not even sure I have the mental strength to tell Blake right now. But how can I ask him to stay with me through this hard time when he doesn’t know what the hell it is? He’s probably thinking of a million different things it could be, but he’s never going to guess right though. No one would. This part of my life is a nightmare I wish never happened. Unfortunately, it did and now it is coming back full circle.

“This is something I have not shared in a long time, and I hoped to never have to speak these words again. But if I’m going to ask you to stay with me, you deserve to know what you are getting yourself into. It started when I was nine years old...”