A Hustler's Wife (18 page)

She respected the fact that, that was her job and her livelihood.

Although the circumstances they met under was odd, they turned out to be genuine friends. Deputy Plenty would tell Yarni of problems she was dealing with in her own life. Yarni was a good listener, and she offered the officer some good advice.

When Castro heard that she was being housed on the other side of the jail, from where he was, he got one of the trustees to pass her some food, toiletries and some cigarettes. Yarni didn't smoke, but she could sell them. The facility she was being housed at was smoke-free. Cigarettes were sold for $4 per cigarette. Everybody wanted cigarettes. They were hard to come by.

Whenever a female acquired cigarettes, the smokes were treated if it was dope on the streets.

She hung as tough as she could, but jail eventually corrupt-ed Yarni. Her attitude was so bitter. She wasn't afraid of anything.

There was no fear in her heart. She developed a jail house mentality, and learned to master the ins and outs of jail. She realized if she socialized with one of the guys who worked in the kitchen she could get extra helpings of the food she liked. She also flirt-ed with some of the male deputies. Yarni learned to manipulate while she was in jail. She once stopped up her commode, so the deputy on duty had no choice but to call the plummer, who was a trustee. When the trustee came into her cell, he passed her a package full of cigarettes and marijuana, which she, of course, sold. She would have never touched marijuana, tried to sell it, or experiment with it on the streets.

Jail introduced Yarni to a world she'd never known and if she had never experienced confinement, she would never be able to relate to anyone else who'd been there and done that, to the extent as her being locked up had. Maybe her incarceration made it just that much harder to walk out and turn her back on Des. Her imprisonment may have been a factor as to why she never stopped fighting for Des' release upon her discharge. Or maybe her own incarceration was the reason that she always dropped a card in the mail to other inmates she knew, and never seem to forget anybody dear to her in prison, as the average person may have.

"MAAIIIILLLLL CALLLL," yelled the high pitch voiced deputy. She called out Yarni's name.

My Dearest Yarni,

What have you let that nigga get you into? Why didn't you let
me know what was going on with you? I am crazy worried
about you. Please don't shut me out. I know you need me right
now. I am here for you, baby. I love you unconditionally. That
will never change. This wasn't in my plan for you. I know that
you are definitely a warrior. You'll be O.K. and no storm lasts
forever.

You have got to cool down. You can't allow them broke down
hos to run up your time. You only have to be there for a few
more months. Don't put yourself in a situation that could get
you a street charge and add more time to your sentence. I
know you ain't accustomed to this jail shit, so focus on what
you going to do when you get out of there. Them hoes going to
be there when you leave.

One thing to think on, if somebody controls your emotions,
they can control your attitude. If they can control your attitude,
then they control your actions. If someone can control your
actions, then they control your destiny. You do the time, Baby,
don't let the time do you.

Let me know what the hell is going on with your case!!!

Much Love, Des

It took her two weeks to get up the nerve to write Des. Let the truth be told, she knew Des was the only one, besides God, who could carry her through this whole ordeal.

Once Yarni got Des' letter, she turned her focus elsewhere.

She started doing the time, not allowing the time do her. She signed up for every recreational activity the jail offered. Every opportunity to get out of the dayroom she participated in. She wrote the sheriff, the judge, as well as the governor, one letter a week, asking for a sentence reduction or to be placed on home incarceration. They wouldn't respond, but she diligently wrote them.

Whenever Bengee knew that Yarni was going to call, he would be at Gloria's house to talk to her. He'd send cards, letters and money, even though he knew that she had money already.

He never visited her. He claimed "visitors made prisoners." That was just an excuse.

Yarni had mixed feelings about Bengee. She never totally grasped the concept of exactly why "she" was sitting in jail. Was it because of the fact that she was loyal to Bengee and the principles she'd been taught about the people she loved? Was it that she knew her mother was very submissive to the man she loved?

Or, was it because she loved Bengee?

She sat Indian style on her 3-inch thick mattress trying to make since of the trial.

Yarni sobbed. This was the first time in her life she'd regret-ted not consulting her mother. My mother would have never let me get myself into this mess.

Even though Yarni felt like she was at her lowest point in her life, she never thought for one minute that God had left her or forsaken her. She never knew why going to jail had to be her destiny. She never asked God "Why me, Lord." She only asked God to make her stronger and asked what was it that He wanted her to learn from this experience? Every night before Yarni would go to sleep she would pull out her Bible and read Psalm 23, or Matthew 11:25-30. She'd also pray that God remove her from that situation. Yarni thanked God in advance for removing her from jail. She didn't know how exactly God was going to pull it off, but she knew and believed, with all her heart, that she wasn't going to do the full ten months.

One day, a girl named Cyn came in the dayroom. She knew Cyn from the street.

"Girl, not trying to piss in your cheerios, but Bengee has gotten Bucckkk wild since you left the streets. He is always in the clubs balling out of control, buying three and four buckets of Moet at a time. And to top it off, my man told me that Bengee be having strip parties on a regular. Yarni, Bengee is out of control."

"Oh, for real," Yarni said in a calm tone showing no emotion.

Then Yarni continued to carry on the conversation. "How's your daughter, Cyn? I bet she's gotten big, huh?" Anything to dilute a conversation about Bengee.

"Girl, she has! She weighs one-hundred and four pounds, and is only nine years old." Cyn answered Yarni while searching her face for some kind of sentiment. Cyn couldn't believe Yarni wasn't upset about the news she'd just given about her man. She just had to let her know that her man was out of control. Cyn knew it was bothering Yarni. She thought Yarni would go to her cell and cry, or at the very least call Bengee and cuss him out.

Yarni's feelings were hurt. She didn't know if she should take what Cyn said into consideration or not. Chics were always trying to kick a sister when she was down, this she did know. And Cyn wanted to see her break. She was yearning for her to crumble, but Yarni continued the conversation like the news that Cyn had just given, didn't mean anything. They sat and talked for the next hour, and Yarni didn't return to her cell until the bell rung at 11p.m. for lockdown.

The next day, she tried calling Melanie's house collect, for the first time since she'd been locked up. She heard Melanie's voice when she picked up the phone and said "Hello." Melanie didn't take the call. She thought that maybe Melanie hit the wrong button or something. She knew that there had to have been some mistake. She tried two more times and Melanie still rejected the call. She couldn't believe it. Melanie had been her ace since sixth grade and now she wouldn't even take a $1

phone call. That just intensified the whole situation.

THE NERVE of Melanie, I never knew just how petty she was. She doesn't know if it's an emergency or what. Dag, I thought we were better than that! The sound of the dial tone in her ear from Melanie hurt Yarni's feelings. Was she concerned that Yarni was going to run up her bill? That couldn't have been the circumstances because Bengee or Gloria would've taken care of the bill. Why would the bill even been an issue?

Yarni remembered something Gloria once told her a few years ago. "You'll always find out who your true friends are when you're down and out." The whole time Melanie and Yarni had been friends, this was the one time she ever needed Melanie for anything at all. Melanie had forfeited her friendship with Yarni at that very moment. To comfort herself, she simply looked at it as it only cost out $536 to find her that my so-called friend wasn't worthy of my friendship.

She didn't want to call Gloria to involve her in what was going on. Gloria couldn't find out any of these things about Bengee because she knew if she let Gloria know anything bad about Bengee, Gloria would always harbor ill feelings towards Bengee. When mothers and family members get involved in a couple's relationship, they'll still hold a grudge, even if the couple gets back together. She knew that she couldn't let Gloria know anything until she was sure it was completely over between them.

After a lengthy deliberation, Yarni decided that she wouldn't mention to Bengee any of the rumors she'd heard. She'd keep them to herself for now, but prepare herself in case the rumors were true.

After being in jail for exactly five months, a total of seven months counting the two that she was on work release, Yarni's lawyer came to visit her. He told her that she had a court date scheduled for the next day. The judge agreed to hear argument for her alternative sentencing. He told her not to get her hopes up too high because he was going to take into consideration that she had gotten removed from the work release program. Not one ounce of doubt set in, for she was certain that she was being released. This was only God working on her behalf. She knew the judge didn't have any jurisdiction over God. That night was the first night that she had actually slept for the entire seven months.

When they called Yarni, she only had fifteen minutes to get ready for court. While she waited in the holding cell she wasn't a bit nervous. She had a sense of peace and security that she was about to be released.

She overheard the judge having very little sympathy for the defendants before her, but when she was called to go in front of the judge, she could feel that she was walking on still waters.

The judge had a sense of compassion for her, she could sense. It was almost as if he wasn't the same person who had sentenced all the people in front of her to harsh sentences.

He reviewed her letters of character from her minister, a U

of R professor, and her mother. He allowed her to explain why she was taken off of work release. Yarni explained to the judge that she simply wanted to get the degree that she had worked so hard for. She made it clear that what she did was wrong, but that she felt it was what she had to do, as she knew now, she was a convicted felon. She may never be allowed to make her dream come true, so she thought at least she could finish out her classes. But she was unable to because she was removed from work release.

Yarni went on to tell the judge that no matter how much jail time she has to end up doing, no time could ever outweigh the punishment of her not being able to complete her studies. The judge took all these things into consideration. He suspended the rest of her time providing she volunteer one hundred hours of her time mentoring teen-agers, report to a probation officer for the next year and not write the judge any more letters.

Yarni was released from jail that same day. Before she left, she asked the deputy to take her to isolation to see her friend, Zurri. She hugged Zurri, gave her all the canteen she had left over, covered T-shirts and socks along with Gloria's address, and phone number. Zurri was happy to see Yarni leaving and told her she would be going home in a couple of months.

Yarni had written over twenty letters to the judge and now that chapter of her life was closed!!!

THE WAKE UP CALL

While they waited on the paperwork to come over from the
courts to the jail so Yarni could be released, the deputy sheriff
informed Gloria that it would be approximately three hours
before Yarni's discharge.

Gloria left and went to Regency Square. She brought Yarni a Guess jean outfit along with some Air Max Nike sneakers. She wasn't sure if Yarni would be able to even wear the jeans because she had lost so much weight. Yarni was wearing a size 8 before she went away to jail, so Gloria got one size smaller.

When Yarni went to court, the outfit she wore was falling off of her.

It would have been easier for Gloria to go to Yarni and Bengee's house to get some sweatpants or something from there.

When Yarni called the night before informing Gloria on her court date, she specifically told Gloria not to tell anyone, not even Bengee. Gloria immediately called Ukrop's and ordered a

"Welcome Home" cake, as well as balloons. She wanted to do more, but she was trying to get back to the jail on time so she could get the deputy to pass the new clothes to Yarni.