A House Without Windows (18 page)

“I saw you sneaking out of the toilets, Joss.”

“Yeah, well, I hadn’t done any homework.” 
He’d have to be more careful next time.

“Don’t worry, I won’t grass you up.” 

“Cheers.”  He felt a tingling in his groin at her nearness, and pulled his jacket over his growing erection.

“Fuck off, Darrah.”  Daniel Summerlee, already with a man’s muscly body, loomed large as he stood himself in-between Joss and Tara.

Joss had had enough.  The secret he now had to bear was beginning to weigh him down:

“Fuck off yourself!”  He pushed Summerlee’s chest hard with both hands.  The boy lost his balance and fell backwards onto the stony ground.

“You’re dead meat, Darrah!”  Summerlee was back up on his feet, fists flailing in anger.

Joss could see he was no match for the youth, already lifting sizeable weights at the gym. Ducking a left hook he did the only thing he could think of to save himself; he kicked Summerlee hard in the groin, who went down like the proverbial sack of potatoes.   Aware of Tara’s gaze of admiration, he walked away with his head held high.

“Wait for me!”  Benny ran up behind him, laughing. “Summerlee’s still on the floor, the prick.”

“Does this face look bothered?” 

“You’ll better watch yourself at school tomorrow.”

“I’m not going.  I’ll give him a day to cool off. Bunk off with me if you like.  Mum and Dad will be at the hospital.  We’ll have the house to ourselves until at least three o’clock.”

“Yeah?  I know how to access a good porn site.”

“Everybody does.  It’s easy!
”  Joss threw Benny a punch.

“My brother’s got a
black box that he attaches to his computer.  He makes a phone call, puts in a code and hey presto, there’s more porn than you can shake your dick at. It’s great.  The code runs out after a week and then he pays for another one.  I know where he’s written it down.  I’ll bring the machine round. He won’t miss it during the day.”

Joss laughed:

“I’ll hide out in the park until 9.30.  Come round after that.”

“You’re on. See you in the morning!”  Benny sloped off in the opposite direction.

His mother seemed agitated as soon as he returned home.

“Joss, have you been fighting?  I’ve just had a phone call from the school. Mrs Summerlee has had
to take Daniel to the Accident and Emergency Department.  You’re lucky she’s not pressing any charges.”

“He must be putting it on.  I didn’t hit him that hard!
”

“His parents are not pleased.  I think you owe Daniel an apology
”

He felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

“He started it.  I wasn’t doing anything.”

“Well you’ve certainly done something.  The boy’s injured.”

“Only his pride.  I kicked him in the nuts.”

“You’re coming with us to his house to apologise and sort this out later on.”

“Jeez Mum! No!  It was his fault!”  Joss ran up to his room and slammed the door.

He laid on his bed simmering with anger, and thought about what his real father was like.  What might he have done under the same circumstances?  Would he have killed Summerlee?  Would ten men have been needed to hold him off?  Joss got up and looked at himself in the mirror again. He looked nothing like his mother or Amy; he was his father’s son.

Where was Croydon?  He hadn’t the first clue. How far away was it from Norwich? He typed Croydon into his iPad.  The search came back describing the largest borough on the outskirts
of London; population about 370,000.  One of those was his dad. 

He struggled to remember the name of the institution.  Eventually he searched for hospitals for the criminally insane in Croydon.  One came back; Holmleas, Whitgift Road, Ardlington, Croydon, Surrey.

That was the one! 

He had no idea how he was going to get there, but someday soon he knew he would be making the journey to Surrey.

CHAPTER 48

“Have you been smoking in here?”  Beth shivered and closed her son’s bedroom window.  She wondered whether Benjamin Cashman was having an undesirable influence on Joss.

“Where would I get any c
igarettes from?”  Joss smiled inwardly and mentally gave thanks to Benny’s resourceful brother Jimmy.

“How long have you been home?”

“Oh, only about half an hour.” 

“Has Benny been round here?”

“No.”

Beth sighed at the sight of her son lying on his bed at three thirty in the afternoon, and found it hard to ignore yet more evidence of another day spent truanting from school with Benny; four dirty coffee cups, empty fish and chip wrappers, and two plates still with the remains of sandwiches made with the roast chicken she was keeping for tomorrow.

“I can see with my own eyes that you haven’t been to school again today.  The room stinks of cigarette smoke despite the force 8 gale that you had blowing in through your window.  You’re lucky the smoke alarms didn’t activate. Your exams are coming up in a few months, and here you are frittering your time away.”

“Leave it out, Mum.  I’ll go to school tomorrow. Just give me a break.”

“Dad will hear about this when he comes in.”

“How can he hear about it if he’s banged up?”  Joss regretted the outburst as soon as he saw his mother’s face blanch.

“How dare you even mention that man’s name!  Do you want to know just what he did to me?  Do you?”  Beth was suddenly overcome with a white-hot fury coursing through her veins.

Joss turned over onto his front, put his head in the pillow, and tried to shut out the sound of his mother’s whining voice.  His dad had probably done exactly what the Kitten Sisters had had done to them on Jimmy’s movie machine that afternoon.  They seemed to enjoy the experience; in fact the blonde one definitely did.  He wondered how it would feel doing it to Tara Lambert.

The memory foam sank lower as his mother came to sit next to him on the bed.  He felt her hand touch his hair.

“I know you’ve had a shock, Joss, and I know I should have told you sooner.  I apologise for that. But it’s something I wanted to bury in the past.  He was an evil man with a twisted mind.  It’s not something that I wanted to be reminded of.”

Joss lifted his face from the pillow but did not turn around:

“Sorry Mum, but I can’t stop thinking about him.  I just can’t pretend nothing’s happened and carry on like before. He’s my dad, and I want to know more about him.  I want to see what he looks like; if I look like him or not.  I want to hear his voice.  I want to visit him in prison.  I want to meet him.” 
There….it was out! 
He was glad he couldn’t see his mother’s face at that precise moment.  He let his head sink down again as he listened to his pounding heart.

The silence in the room was deafening.  He heard the ticking of one of the many old-fashioned clocks that were on nearly every wall in the house.  At one point he thought he heard a sob.  Eventually he felt his mother move from the bed.  He listened intently for her reply, but she walked out of his bedroom without speaking another word. 

He sat up and reached for his iPad. The previous search was still there.  He read that any visitors to Holmleas must inform Reception at least five days in advance.  No visits were allowed on Mondays, Tuesdays or Fridays, and there was a special visiting room for children.  Up to three people over the age of 16 could sit with the patient at one of the 15 tables available in the main visitors’ area between 2 -4pm every Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday or Sunday afternoon.  Refreshments and toilets were available. He was further informed that Holmleas had been built in 2001 on the site of the previous Ardlington council estate, and was on bus route 465, about a 30 minute journey out of East Croydon Station.

Today was Tuesday.  If he could find a way of getting there he could phone the hospital right now and give them his name.  He would be able to meet his father on Sunday afternoon! 

“How much is a return journey from Norwich train station to East Croydon?”
The smart bastard phone would know.

Back came the robotic voice:

“One hundred and
eight pounds and seventy pence.  The journey will take three hours and twenty minutes.”

Smart bastard.

“Will you have sex with me?”

“I hardly know you.”

“Dial Holmleas Hospital for the Criminally Insane.”

“If you ask nicely.”

“Dial Holmleas Hospital for the Criminally Insane
please.”

“Dialling.”

Bastard phone!

“Good afternoon.  Holmleas.”  The female voice on the other end of the phone sounded to Joss as though she had a silver spoon up her arse.

“My name is Joss Darrah.  I would like to visit Edwin Evans on Sunday please.”

“What is your relationship to Mr Evans?”

“I’m his son.”

There was a brief silence at the other end as the plummy voice recovered from the shock:

“Leave me your details and I will phone you back directly if Mr Evans agrees to receive visitors.”

Joss ended the call on a high.  Now all that was needed was to obtain about two hundred pounds.  A small smile played about his lips as he realised that getting the money would be easier than taking candy from a baby.

He recognised the knock at his bedroom door:

“Mom tells me you haven’t been to school today.” 

Joss looked at the man whom for 16 years he had thought of as his father:

“Daniel Summerlee says I’m dead meat.  Would you go, knowing you’re going to get beaten up?” 

“I’ll speak to the head teacher.”

“It won’t make any difference.  He’ll wait until we’re out of the school gates.”

“Then I’ll come and pick you up in the car.”

“Leave it Dad.  I’ll sort it.”  Joss sighed and wished the plummy woman would phone him back.

“Mom also tells me that you’re talking about visiting Edwin Evans.  It would break her heart if you did that.  I strongly advise against it.” 

“I’ve changed my mind.  It’s not a good idea.”  The lie slid effortlessly off his tongue.

“Glad you’ve seen sense, son.  He put your mother and sister through hell.  Mom in particular took years to recover.”

Joss felt the phone begin to vibrate in his pocket.  He took it out and looked at the screen:

“It’s Tara Lambert calling.  I think I might have a hot date.”

“Then I’ll leave you to it.”  Liam smiled.

“Thanks Dad.”

He waited until the bedroom door closed and then answered the call from the hospital:

“May I speak to Joss Darrah please?” The silver spoon had been stuck even further up.

“Yeah, speaking.”

“You called regarding visiting Edwin Evans?”

“That’s right.”

“I’m sorry to tell you that Mr Evans has requested no visitors at this time.”

“What?”  Joss sat up on his bed.

“No visitors.  Mr Evans was quite insistent.”

“But I’m his son!” 

“If the patient does not want any visitors then I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do.”

Joss ended the call, angry at tears that were already stinging his eyes. 
Why did his dad not want to meet him?  It made no sense at all!

The disappointment was more than he could bear.  He put his head in his hands and let the bitter tears fall.  He sighed as he remembered his grandmother’s words:
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, and try again.

He sniffed and wiped his eyes:

He would not give up.  He would get to meet his father one way or another.

CHAPTER 49

Joss took his seat for registration.  A breathy voice in his ear coming from behind made him shiver:

“Hey Joss.  You’d better watch out for Daniel.  He was mad as anything yesterday.  Good thing you weren’t at school.”  Tara leaned back in her chair as Joss looked around.