A House Without Windows (14 page)

Liam thought she looked more beautiful than ever.  She’d obviously taken time and trouble with her makeup, and the effect was stunning.  However, his heart belonged to one person, and one person only.

“I’m so sorry Patty.  I lost her for ten years and I just can’t lose her a second time.  She offered to never contact me again so that you and I could be together, but I just can’t do it.  Forgive me.  I’m such a bastard.”  He moved forward to take her in his arms, but she backed away.”

“Don’t come anywhere near me!  This is it; we’re finished, you and me.  You’ll never see Toby again!”  She began to cry at the hopelessness of the situation.

“You can have this house.  I’ll pay the mortgage and give you a monthly allowance, but I’m entitled to see my son.”  He started to panic at the implication of her words.

“Not if I have anything to do with it!  And I wouldn’t live in this house if you paid me all the money in the world!”

“Please Patty, be reasonable!  I’ll go through the courts if I have to, but I want access to Toby.”

“Now I know why you never asked me to marry you!  You were waiting for her!” She spat out the words with a venom he never knew existed.

He sighed and sat down at the table, exhausted and emotionally drained:

“I thought she was dead; that’s why I never bothered telling you. It was all over and in the past, but then she reappears out of the blue. I just can’t ignore her as if she still doesn’t exist. 
And then there’s Amy whom I need to get to know. I’m so sorry.  I have to be with Beth.”

“Then Toby and I are in your way.  I’ll be moving
back with Mom until I find another place.”  Calmer now after her outburst, she looked at him, dried her tears, and then walked out of the kitchen to begin organising a new life in which he was certain he would be playing no part.

PART 8 – EASTER 1996

CHAPTER 38

The landing gear hit the tarmac of Pearson International airport and the passengers’ applause was enough to wake Joss from his sleep. 

“
Are we there now?”  Amy looked excitedly out of the cabin window as the plane came to a halt.

“
Yes darling.  Daddy will be waiting for us when we’ve collected our suitcases.”  The thought of seeing Liam’s face in the Arrivals hall had kept Beth going throughout the ordeal of being cooped up in her seat with two children for the duration of the seven hour flight.  She hoped he wouldn’t notice the few extra pounds she’d gained on the Citalopram.

“Come on.  Don’t forget your book.”  She relished the chance to stand up and retrieve her bag from the overhead luggage compartment.  Putting the strap over her shoulder she picked up Joss from the bassinette and followed Amy out of the aeroplane and into the terminal building, glad of the cool fresh afternoon air on her face.

“Where do we go now, Mummy?” 

“We have to go to the baggage collection point.  Look at the TV screen and it’ll show us what number carousel to go to.”

“What’s a carousel?” 

“You’ll see in a minute.”  She smiled at her daughter’s curiosity that at present knew no bounds.

Thankfully the pushchair was one of the first items to come through.  Strapping her son in securely and giving instructions to Amy to stay with the baby, Beth found a trolley and waited by the carousel for the rest of the baggage.  The first sight of his smiling daughter pushing Joss, and of Beth following wearily behind with the trolley full of suitcases would stay with him for a long time and confirm to him that he’d made the right decision:

“There’s Daddy!”  Amy’s mothering skills took a slight downward turn as she ran towards her father on the other side of the barrier.

“Don’t forget Joss!”  Liam pointed
at the sleeping baby.  Amy laughed and ran back to retrieve her brother.

“It’s so good to see you all!”  He kissed them one by one. Beth felt familiar arms around her and had a sense of coming home.

“I’ve waited so long for this moment!” She buried her head in his chest and let the tears fall.

“Why are you crying Mummy?”  Amy rocked the baby back and forth and looked at her parents in surprise.

“Because I’m happy.  Daddy and I have looked forward to this holiday for a long time.” 

“Will I see the big waterfall that you told me about?”

“We’re going to relax in a cottage on the beach for a week, and then we’ll drive to Niagara for the second week.”  Beth wiped her eyes and reluctantly pulled herself away from Liam’s chest.

“Let’s get going, it’s a bit of a drive to Kincardine, but we’ll stop in Elmira for dinner on the way.”  Liam took the trolley and headed out towards the short term car parks.

The car was spacious, with plenty of room for the pushchair.  Beth saw the baby car seat and had a pang of guilt when she thought how Liam must have bought the car with his own son in mind.

“It’s a people carrier. There’
s a lot of these cars over here.  The middle seats fold down if you want some extra space.”

“Wow!  There’
s so much room in the back!”  Amy looked around appreciatively. “Wait until I tell Penny Green at school!”

“I thought she wasn’t speaking to you?” 
Liam smiled at Amy.

“She is now.  We’re best friends.”

“That’s good news.”

As the car turned onto the A401 West, Beth sat behind Liam with the children and marvelled at the wide freeway, complete with an express lane in the middle for drivers that had no need to exit for a long time and priority lanes for people carrying more than one passenger.

“The roads in England seem tiny by comparison.”  Her head swivel
led from left to right.

“We do things on a big scale on the other side of the pond.  Ok at the back, Amy?”

“Joss is asleep, and I’m reading one of the books you sent me. They’re great.  Thanks Liam –er…Daddy.”

Beth awoke as the car approached Elmira and Joss stirred, hunger pangs gnawing.

“Sorry Liam, I didn’t mean to nod off.”  She gave Joss some water and Amy fidgeted in her seat:

“Don’t worry about it.  I’ve never worked out why air travel is so tiring.  You just sit in the seat doing nothing, but you’re exhausted at the end of the flight.”

“I need a wee Mummy.”

“We’re stopping for dinner now, so there’
ll be washrooms in the restaurant.”  Liam turned his head towards his daughter as he pulled up in the car park:

“Amy, you’ll find the ladies serving here are dressed in an old-fashioned way.  They’re all Mennonites, and they belong to a big group of religious people who prefer not to use the modern labour-saving devices.  They still dress as people did over 100 years ago, and they drive a horse and buggy instead of a car. They’ve made all the food in this restaurant themselves, and you’ll find it’s delicious.” You’ll also see all the roads around here for miles have little gravel paths down either side especially for the Mennonite horse and carriages.”

“Wow.  Why wou
ld people not want to buy a car?  Cars are so much faster than a horse and buggy!”  Amy looked out of the car window to see if any Mennonite families were passing by.

“It’s just their way.  Many of them are farmers and they use all the old farming skills instead of ploughs and combine harvesters.”

“That’s so interesting, but don’t the young people rebel?”  Beth wondered if the teenagers could resist the lure of the mobile phone, TV and computer.

“They are allowed to go out into the big wide world to see if they prefer it, but surprisingly most of them return to the old way of life after a while.” 

Beth unstrapped Joss and gathered a bottle of milk from the cool bag. 

“I hope we’re not too far away now, this is the last but one bottle.”

“It’s roughly about another two hours.  Mom lives in Kincardine, and she’s filled up the fridge for us at the cottage.  There’s loads of baby bits there because other members of the family bring little ones.  You’ll meet Mom tomorrow.  Her parents bought the cottage when they were first married.  It’s a bit of a family heirloom now.”

“I can’t wait.  Thanks so much for inviting us, darling.  I a
ctually went out to Cley to visit your dad last month with the children.  He loved them.  He seemed so pleased to see me.”  Beth followed Liam in to the restaurant.

“I know
.  He told me on the phone. He’s always liked you.  He’s got good taste.”  He kissed her and announced their arrival to the receptionist behind the front desk.

“Table for three and a high chair please.”

“Of course.  Please come this way.”

They were shown to an empty table in amongst several others that were already full of diners.  Against the walls were large buffet tables groaning with every kind of food imaginable. 
Smiling Mennonite ladies weaved to and fro in amongst the tables as they served drinks:

“I keep thinking I’m back in the 1880’s!”  Beth whispered.

“Mummy I need a wee!”

“Liam, can you start Joss with his bottle please?  I’ll show Amy where the toilets are.”

“We wouldn’t be so vulgar as to call them toilets.  They’re washrooms don’t forget.”

“Oh yes.  It does sound better though doesn’t it
?” Beth laughed as she and Amy stood up.

Liam cuddled the baby close and gazed at him as he contentedly sucked at the bottle. He suddenly wondered what Toby was doing, and if he was missing his daddy.

CHAPTER 39

“Liam, that was just the most gorgeous meal I’ve ever eaten!”  Beth leaned back in the chair, replete. 

“It’s pretty wonderful food
, eh?  I always stop here on the way to see Mom.  You know everything’s fresh and homemade.  I’ll get the check and then we can be on our way again.”

“I’ll just change the baby’s nappy first.”  Beth started to make her way back to the washroom.

“It’s not a nappy, it’s a diaper.”

“Or is it diaper, eh?”

“Touché!”

Both children were asleep within a short time of the car pulling out onto the road.  Beth climbed into the front seat and enjoyed sitting next to Liam in the gathering darkness and feeling comfortable enough not to have to make any conversation.  Every now and then a Mennonite horse and buggy would pass by on the side of the road; the family inside staring straight ahead and unsmiling in their Victorian apparel. 

“What a way to live!  It doesn’t seem to fit in with today’s fast pace though.”  Beth found that she was becoming fascinated by the Mennonite way of life.

“It’s what they know; they’re born to it.  Some of them are quite wealthy.  Have a look at their houses that you can see spread out.  The majority of them don’t even have any electricity.”

“Good God.”

The land had flattened out, and on either side Beth could see low buildings and miles of open farmland.  She felt happy to be at one with the earth and the sky, and to be able to sneak little glances at Liam’s profile as he drove into the night.

“Happy, darling?”  Liam turned to her, conscious of her eyes watching him as they passed by the outskirts of Kincardine.

“I’m in heaven, I swear.  I don’t know if it’s being with you, being out of
that awful prison, or being on the Citalopram though!”

“Hopefully it’s being with me that’s doing it, eh?”  A small smile played about his lips as he spoke.

“You bet!”  She relaxed in her seat as they drove along the coast road. 

“We’ll be there in five.  Don’t go back to sleep.”

“Oh, I can see the sea!  Amy will be delighted.”

“It’s Lake Huron, not the sea.  The water isn’t salty.”

“Wow.  I can’t wait to see it in the daylight.”

“The cottage backs onto the beach.  You’ll see it tomorrow.
”

He swung the steering wheel to the right, turned up a narrow track, and brought the car to a halt in front of a 1930’s white clapboard cottage surrounded by tall trees and hedges.  Beth could see a light shining behind the blue front door.

“Mom’s been and gone by now.  It’s all ready for us.”

“It’s wonderful.  I love the shutters on the windows.”

“The cottage is usually closed up this early in the year, but Mom would have lit the log burner so it’ll be nice and warm inside.”

Beth eased Joss from his car seat and Liam held Amy.  Together they carried the sleeping children up the few wooden steps and into the kitchen.