A Hand to Hold (18 page)

“You’re not in trouble, are you?”

“No, I’m fine. He’s like a firecracker. All pop, very little sizzle.”

She stepped back from her aunt. “
Danki
for everything you’ve done. I couldn’t have gotten through this without you.”

Sadie cupped Deborah’s chin, tears welling in her eyes. “I didn’t do much. Not near enough.” She looked past Deborah’s shoulder to the front porch.

Deborah followed her gaze to see her
daed
sitting on the front porch. He’d brought the hickory rocking chair outside yesterday evening, and now he had Will on his lap. Moses put his hat on the boy’s small head, but Will kept yanking it off, bringing a ghost of a smile to his grandfather’s face.

“I told you that child would be good for Moses.” She looked back at Deborah. “He’s having such a hard time now. Make sure you look after him. I don’t trust Naomi to do it.”

“I will.” Her eyes filled with water, turning her aunt’s face into a blurry blob.

“Now, don’t you cry. I don’t want my mascara running everywhere. It takes time to put on this face, you know.”

Deborah chuckled and sniffed, wiping her eyes with her fingers. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”

“You’ll be fine. You’re needed here, no matter what your sister says. And that big young man your father hired. What’s his name?”

“Stephen.”

“Yes, that’s right. Never was good with names, you know. He’s going to be a huge help. That will take some of the burden off your father.”

Deborah nodded. Although Stephen had only worked one evening, he’d made a big difference already. He had cleaned out both the chicken coop and goat pen, and still had enough time to replace the warped wood on the bottom porch step.

Sadie patted Deborah’s cheek. “Now, if I don’t get on the road I’ll never leave. I’ll be praying for you, and Will, and Moses. I’ll even pray for Naomi.” She made a face. “That might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

She hugged her aunt one more time. “Have a safe trip back.”

“Will do. Now don’t hesitate to call if you need anything. You know my number.”

“I will.”

Sadie walked around and opened the door to her car. “And write me. I’d ask you to send pictures of Will, but I know you can’t do that.”

“I’ll tell you everything he’s doing, though.”

“You better. But I may just have to make a trip back and see for myself.” She blew Deborah a kiss with her big red lips. “Love you, sugar.”

“Love you too.”

Deborah waved good-bye to her aunt as she pulled out of the driveway. Then she crossed her arms in an effort to keep herself together. Emptiness filled her. The loss of her mother was acute now, and an overwhelming sadness fell over her. Her aunt had confidence that she would be okay, but Deborah wasn’t sure.
Dear God, give me strength to do this, to take care of
Daed
and Will, to forge some kind of truce with Naomi
.

When Sadie had disappeared down the road, Deborah walked up the porch steps and smiled at Will and her
daed
. Her father had just put his hat back on Will’s head, but Will tossed it on the ground and burst into a fit of giggles. She scooped it up and handed it back to her father.

“Gotta get that boy to wear a hat.”
Daed
plopped it back on Will’s head, and Will threw it down again.

“He thinks it’s a game,
Daed
.”

“Oh, I know. Why do you think I keep doing it?” He set Will down on the front porch. Will toddled past Deborah and over to the playpen they’d purchased when they went to pick up the crib. Deborah had wanted to pay for the playpen herself, but Sadie wouldn’t hear of it, and Deborah had to admit she was relieved. She had saved a little money from her job, but it wouldn’t last very long. Deborah lifted Will and put him inside, where he started playing with his toys.

“He’ll get used to wearing the hat when he’s older.”
Daed
stood up from his chair. “Got to check on the cows. I let them out in the pasture this morning. They’re probably ready to come in by now. Might do some clean up in the barn too. Don’t want to leave everything to Stephen. What time did Naomi say supper would be?”

“She didn’t.”

“All right, I’ll go in and ask her.” He moved to go inside, then stopped and looked at her. “How are things between you two?”

Deborah glanced away. “All right.” She refused to elaborate, knowing her father became edgy whenever she and her sister fought. He’d always let their mother referee their arguments. She didn’t want to put any more of an emotional burden on him than he already had. She and her sister were adults. They could settle their differences themselves. That was her prayer anyway.

He nodded, seeming satisfied with her answer. “If I haven’t said it before, I’m glad you’re here. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a proper welcome the other day.”

Deborah’s lip trembled. “You don’t have to keep apologizing for that,
Daed
. I understand.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have been so harsh. I don’t know what got into me that night.”

“You were grieving.” He still was. They all were, but he seemed to be handling it a little better now. She liked to think her aunt was right and that Will had something to do with it.

Her father looked at her. “I thought you might have gone back to Paradise with Sadie. Seems like you were getting pretty settled back there. I’m glad you decided to stay.”

When she’d first arrived, she had thought the same thing. But seeing her father with Will and the way he acted toward her now made her change her mind. She and her son were needed here.

Thomas suddenly came to mind. She hadn’t had a chance to write and tell him what had happened. As soon as everything settled down, she would tell him that she was staying in Middlefield, at least for the time being. She owed him that much.

“I better hunt your
schwester
down and find out about supper time. She doesn’t abide lateness, you know.”

After her father went inside to find Naomi, Deborah sat down on his chair and watched Will in the playpen. She closed her eyes, stifling a yawn. She should go inside and see if Naomi needed help getting supper ready, but knowing her sister would refuse, she stayed outside with Will. Later they could go check on the garden or take a walk to the barn and look at the cows. Will had never seen any up close because her aunt lived in a subdivision on the outskirts of Paradise.

The sound of a buggy approaching made her open her eyes. She stood up and saw a black vehicle turn into her driveway, drawn by a beautiful palomino horse. Stephen had arrived.

Stephen brought the buggy around and parked it next to her father’s. He jumped out and tied his horse to the hitching rail then walked toward them. As he neared, she was again struck by his size. He had to be the tallest man in Middlefield. Even in Paradise she’d never seen an Amish man close to his height. But even though he was tall, he wasn’t thin or lanky. His broad shoulders and solid torso made sure of that. She was most curious about why he held his hand behind his back.

When he was a few feet away, she averted her gaze, not wanting him to catch her staring at him. She picked up Will from the pen. Only when he stopped in front of her did she look up at him.

“Hello,” he said, smiling.

His grin was so genuine she couldn’t help but smile back. “Hello, Stephen.”

“Is your
daed
around? I’m a little early but I wanted to get going on the barn.”

“He’s inside. You can come in while I
geh
get him.”

Stephen shook his head. “
Nee
, I’ll wait out here.”

Deborah saw Will tilt his head back to look at Stephen, his eyes wide. Stephen turned his attention to the boy, reaching out his large hand. “Hello, Will.”

She didn’t expect Will to respond. When Stephen joined them for supper last night, Will had only stared at him. Spending most of his life almost exclusively with his mother and Aunt Sadie had made him wary of others, especially of men. The only man he’d taken to so far was his grandpa. But to her surprise Will tentatively grasped the tip of Stephen’s finger, and the contrast between the sizes of their hands was striking. Then Will released Stephen’s finger and laid his cheek against her shoulder.

“I brought something for Will.” He brought his hand out from behind his back. In his palm was a small wooden horse on wheels. “I made this awhile back for Moriah and Gabe’s
kinner
. But they keep having
maed
, so I thought Will might like it.” Stephen looked at her. “If it’s all right with you.”

Deeply touched, Deborah nodded. “
Danki
, Stephen.” She looked at the toy. “You didn’t have to do that.”

He shrugged, but the glint in his eyes told her he was pleased. He held out the horse to Will. “
Gaul
.”

Will slowly reached for the horse, then snatched it out of Stephen’s hand. Stephen chuckled.

“He says
danki
too,” Deborah said as Will clutched the toy to his chest.

At the squeak of the screen door opening, she turned around. Her father walked over to them. He held out his hand to Stephen. After Stephen shook it, her
daed
looked at Deborah. “Naomi says supper will be done in half an hour.”

“Does she need any help?” Although Deborah knew the answer, she still wanted to offer.

“Not that she said. You know your sister. She’s like your mother was, a marvel in the kitchen.” A flicker of sadness crossed his features, then disappeared as he looked at Stephen. “I suppose you’re ready to get started on that barn.”

“
Ya
. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

Deborah watched as they walked toward the barn together, Stephen’s height overshadowing her father. She smiled again. It was comforting to know someone else was here to help out. She was glad her father didn’t have to take care of the farm on his own.

She looked down at the horse Will held. She was no expert, but she could tell the quality of the workmanship. It must have taken him quite a while to make it. Will was already sitting up in her arms, running his fingers over the wheels. He laughed and held it up to Deborah.
“Gaul!”

Deborah smiled. By giving him such a simple gift, Stephen had made them both happy.

Stephen had joined Moses in the loft of the barn. They were straightening up and counting the square bales. Moses picked up a sixth hay bale to put on top of a stack, but he struggled to lift it high enough. Stephen took it from him and completed the task with ease.

Moses nodded, looking impressed. “Must be nice to be so tall.”

“It has its advantages.” Being able to reach things was one Stephen appreciated. But there were also numerous disadvantages. Folding himself into buggies, sitting in chairs that were meant for people half his size, finding size sixteen shoes, which he usually had to special order, especially the work boots. And those were just some of the problems he faced.

“You’re strong as an ox too.” Moses leaned against the hay bales, his chest heaving. “Ah, to be young again.”

“Do you want me to finish this?” Stephen looked at Moses with concern. The man was breathing pretty hard.

“Nah, just let me catch my breath. I’ll be fine in a minute.”

As he waited, Stephen looked around the huge barn that housed several different animals. One side was dedicated to the cows, while the other half of the barn had been divided into three sections—a stall for the horse, a gated area for the pigs, and a small area for the goats, which he’d cleaned yesterday. He hoped to have the rest of the barn finished tonight. The Byler family had a much smaller barn that only held two horses and had an extended roof to shield the buggies from the elements. Usually it took him less than an hour to clean it out. It wouldn’t be the same for this barn.

“All right, I’m
gut
now.” Moses moved to stand by Stephen. He scratched his chin. “Gotta decide what to tackle next.”

Stephen thought the old man sounded overwhelmed. “What about the pigpen?”

“Sounds
gut
to me.”

They had both just climbed down the ladder leading to the loft when he heard a woman speak. “
Daed
? Supper is ready.”

Stephen turned around and saw Deborah’s sister, Naomi, standing in the barn doorway. Over the years he’d seen Naomi at church, but she was older than he was and he never paid her much attention. But when he’d arrived yesterday, he’d been struck by how different she and Deborah looked. Deborah’s face was round with rosy, prominent cheeks, and Naomi’s was long, almost rectangular, with flatter cheeks and a tight mouth. But the real difference was the eyes. They were the same brown color, yet while Deborah’s were soft, Naomi’s had a hard glint to them. Those eyes narrowed as she turned her gaze on him. “Will you be staying for supper again?”

Just the mention of food made his stomach growl. Yet he should say no. He’d eaten supper with them last night, and he didn’t want them to think they owed him food. He was here to help, not to be an extra mouth to feed. “I don’t want to impose.” Stephen turned to Moses.

“You’re not an imposition. We have plenty.” Even though Naomi’s words had sounded like she wanted him to stay, her expression said the exact opposite, and he wondered if she resented him being here. That strengthened his resolve. He could eat leftovers when he got home. “
Danki
, but I’m fine.” He turned to Moses. “
Geh
ahead and eat. I’ll get started on the pen.”