A Hand to Hold (17 page)

“Oh!” She sat up and turned to him, her arm brushing against a stack of spiral notebooks on her desk. The stack tilted, then fell to the floor.

In three steps he was beside her desk. She had jumped out of her chair, and they both knelt down and picked up the notebooks, grasping the last one at the same time. His fingers slid across the top of her hand. Even though the contact was quick, he could feel the smoothness of her skin. His gaze met hers. There it was again, the vulnerability he’d seen after his horse got spooked. At that time she’d been afraid. What was she afraid of now?

She shot to her feet and put the notebooks on her desk. When he handed her the three he’d picked up, she took them from him, saying thank you in a small voice. But she didn’t look at him. She kept her focus on the pile of notebooks, rearranging and straightening them into a perfect stack. He noticed a slight tremble in her hands.

“Is everything all right?” He took a step toward her, and at the same time, she moved away.

“
Ya
, everything is fine. How long will it take you to fix the window?”

“Not long.” He had carried his tool belt with him, and after a brief pause, he walked by her desk on the way to the window. He set his tools on the floor then stole a glance at her. She was still standing, gazing at the stack of notebooks. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” She looked up at him. “Please fix the window, okay?”

He still didn’t believe her, but he’d been around Ruth enough to know that if something was bothering her, she wouldn’t admit it. He removed the ruler, catching the window before it slammed down.

Behind him he heard the sound of chair legs moving against the floor. He turned and saw that she had sat down on her chair and was looking through one of the notebooks, a red pen in her hand. She picked up her glasses from the desk and put them on. He hadn’t seen her wear them very often, and he thought they flattered her face. He was starting to like a lot of things about Ruth Byler, and he couldn’t decide if that pleased or disturbed him. Right now it was a good mix of both.

Focusing his attention on the window, he discovered the problem and groaned. It would have to be replaced. He picked up his tool belt and walked over to Ruth. “Done for the day.”

She looked up at him, her blue eyes filling with surprise behind her glasses. Wow, she really did look pretty in those things. “Already?”

“
Ya
. The frame is splitting. I could try to repair it, but it will start falling again. I’ll bring a new one in tomorrow.”

She peered at him. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I do. There’s also a two-inch gap around the sash. In the winter it will let in a draft—”

“That’s not what I mean.” She removed her glasses. “The window isn’t your responsibility. It wasn’t damaged in the accident, so you don’t have to replace it. I can let Gabriel know it’s broken and the school board will take care of it.”

Zach waved off her suggestion. “Don’t bother them with it. It’s not a big deal to pick up a window and put it in.”

“But you shouldn’t have to pay for it.”

“I don’t mind.”

Her brow lifted. “Did you get a raise at the buggy shop?”

She had him there. “Ah,
nee
. But I know where I can get a good window at a fair price, so it’s fine. I can take care of it.”

“All right. If you’re sure.”

“I’m positive.” And he was. So what if it cost him a little more money and time? It was worth the good feeling he had right now. “Let me show you how to prop it open for tomorrow morning.”

She followed him to the window, and he opened it with one hand, keeping it up. With the other, he handed her the ruler. “Just put it in the corner.”

“Here?”

“Yep.”

Ruth placed the ruler in the corner as he instructed, and he let go of the window. As soon as he did, the ruler snapped in half. Ruth’s hand was still on the ledge, and he grabbed and moved it before the window slammed down on it. He started to let go, but then he felt the light pressure of her fingers on his, as if she didn’t want him to let go. Then she slipped her hand out of his grasp.

Had he imagined it? No, he hadn’t. His hand tingled from the memory of her warm touch. “I’m sorry, Ruth. I didn’t know that was going to happen.”

“I must have put it in wrong. Or the wood weakened from the pressure of holding it up all day.” She turned away from him. “Or . . .”

The way her voice faded pulled at him. It wasn’t like her to express self-doubt. “Ruth.” He touched her shoulder, not caring if she shrugged him off. When she didn’t, he asked, “Did something happen today?”

She shook her head, then turned around, her expression strained. “I said everything’s fine.”

“It doesn’t seem that way.” He dropped his hand from her shoulder. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Ruth opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “I’ve got to
geh
.” She brushed past him and hurried to her desk, grabbed her purse, then ran out the door.

Puzzled, he walked to her desk, noticing she’d left her satchel and glasses behind. Not to mention the door wide open. That wasn’t like Ruth at all.

He picked up her glasses and gently folded the arms, taking care not to touch the lenses. Something was going on with Ruth, and he intended to find out what.

Chapter 11

I
told you I’d come pick you up.” Stephen cast a glance at Ruth as he started the buggy moving again. “Why were you walking home?”

Ruth didn’t answer him right away. She’d walked almost a mile down the road when she saw Stephen heading toward her. He pulled over and she ran to the buggy. But maybe she should have kept going instead. She’d been walking to avoid Zachariah and his questions, only to have to hear them from Stephen. She closed her eyes. Would this day never end?

“Ruth, what’s going on?”

“Nix.”
How many times did she have to say that before someone would understand?

“I don’t believe you. I know
mei glee schwester
and—”

“Don’t call me that! I’m not a
kinn
, I’m a grown woman!” She balled her fists and fought the burning pain in her throat.

“I’m sorry.” Stephen’s deep voice was nearly inaudible. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

She knew he didn’t, but right now she was so upset she couldn’t speak. From the time she forgot her key, the entire day had spiraled into a waking nightmare. After Jacob left, she’d had to keep two brothers from fighting with each other, she caught one girl copying math answers from the boy sitting next to her, and little Lori Fisher frequently burst into tears because she missed her
mami
. By the end of the day she hadn’t completed a single objective in her lesson plan, and she was ready to drop with exhaustion. If she couldn’t be successful on her first day, how was she going to manage her classroom for an entire school term?

And then there was Zachariah Bender. As if her reaction to him this morning hadn’t been enough, this afternoon she had to fight more conflicting emotions than she knew what to do with. His offer to replace the window, the way he snatched her hand before the window slammed on it, the low, concerned tone of his voice when he asked her if she was okay. She’d even squeezed his hand! She’d never touched a man’s hand before, much less squeezed one while wishing she didn’t have to let go. None of it made any sense.

“Ruth? I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She looked at her brother, taking in the uncomfortable expression on his face. It was unfair for her to take her frustration out on him. “I know, Stephen. I’ve just had a bad day.”

He paused. “Want to talk about it?”

“Nee.”

“Okay. But if you do, let me know.” He gave her an encouraging smile and focused on the road ahead.

She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes. They flew open a second later when she realized she’d left her satchel at the schoolhouse. And the notebooks she was supposed to grade. And her glasses. They were halfway home by now, so she couldn’t ask Stephen to turn around, even though he probably would if she did. She would have to trust that Zachariah would lock the schoolhouse. After all, he had been keeping his word lately. She said a quick prayer that he would remember.

By the time they reached home, she had calmed down, for the most part. Tonight she would regroup and make sure she was completely prepared, key and all. Then she would try to relax a little bit. But that thought flew out of her head when she remembered Jacob Kline. She had to talk to his parents tonight. Walking out of school the way he did today was inexcusable. She turned to Stephen. “Are you using the buggy tonight?”

“
Ya
. I’m going to the Coblentzes’ again. Moses has had a hard time of it lately.”

Ruth’s mood turned even more somber. The problems of her life were insignificant compared to losing a loved one.

Stephen made a right turn onto their road. “Why?”

“I have to
geh
somewhere after supper.” She didn’t want to reveal the details, and she was glad he didn’t ask for them.

“I know
Mami
and
Daed
are planning to visit Aaron and Elisabeth tonight.” Stephen scratched his cheek. “Where do you have to
geh
? Maybe I can drop you off ?” When she told him he shook his head. “That’s in the opposite direction of the Coblentzes’ farm. Do you have to
geh die nacht
?”

“I guess not.” Hopefully Jacob would be in school tomorrow and the two of them could work this out. Perhaps she wouldn’t have to get his parents involved just yet, although she fully intended to let them know about his behavior as soon as she could.

After Stephen left, her parents invited her to come with them to Aaron and Elisabeth’s, but she wasn’t in the mood. Once they were gone, she went upstairs and tried to relax, but she couldn’t, her mind still racing from the day. Her bedroom suddenly became stifling, and she went downstairs to the front porch and sat in the swing, hoping the fresh air of the evening would help. She’d been there only a few minutes when a buggy turned into her driveway, pulled by a chestnut-colored horse with a white spot between her eyes. Maggie.

She left the swing and met Zachariah as he pulled his buggy to a stop. “What are you doing here?”

He looked at her, a smirk on his face. “Hello to you too.”

Her cheeks heated. “I’m sorry. I’m just surprised to see you.”

“I was on my way home and thought you might be needing this.” He handed her the satchel through the buggy opening. “Your glasses and the notebooks are in there too.”

She took it from him, shocked. “
Danki
. You didn’t have to make a special trip out here.”

“I didn’t mind. It’s a nice evening. I figured you didn’t mean to leave that stuff behind.”

She wasn’t sure what to say. Who would have thought Zachariah Bender could be so considerate? She certainly hadn’t. “I did need these. I can’t read without my glasses.”

“Then I’m glad I got them to you.” He smiled.

Earlier in the day she had marveled at his eyes, but they were nothing compared to his smile. Her stomach started fluttering and her mouth suddenly went dry, as if she’d had sawdust for dessert.

“Well, now that I’ve made my delivery, I’ll be on my way.” But as he reached for the reins, she decided she didn’t want him to go.

“Would you like some lemonade?
Mami
just made some before she and
Daed
left to visit Elisabeth. It’s
appeditlich
.”

His brow lifted. “
Danki
, I am thirsty. I’ll take some for the road.”

“Actually, I wondered if you might like to stay. For a little bit,” she quickly added, surprised by her boldness. Where had that invitation come from?

He hesitated for a moment. “I guess . . . sure.”

She hid a frown. He didn’t have to sound so excited about it. Of course he was probably only being polite. Now she wished she hadn’t said anything. “It’s all right. You don’t have to.”

“
Nee
, I want to.”

Her gaze flew to him. His tone was a little more eager, but not by much. She’d never felt so awkward in her life. If only she’d kept her mouth shut.

“Where should I park?”

“There’s a spot behind the house, near the barn.” She directed him down the asphalt driveway, which lay between her house and her father’s woodworking shop. Zachariah and Maggie disappeared behind the house.

Ruth took a deep breath and went inside. As she poured two glasses of lemonade, she fought the discomfort spreading through her. She and Zachariah had nothing in common. What would they talk about? Her palms grew slick. Hopefully he would drink the lemonade quickly and be on his way. Never, ever would she be this impulsive again. The embarrassment was unbearable.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave.” Deborah fought back tears as she gave Sadie a huge hug. Her aunt had delayed her departure for most of the day, but now she was ready to head back to Paradise.

“I wish I didn’t have to go either. But I can’t take any more time from work. You have no idea how crabby my boss can be when he’s short employees.” She shook her head. “I work in a little grocery store, for Pete’s sake. The world won’t end if I’m not there.”