A Good Man (37 page)

“The hug?”

“Justin and Gary call it the hug,” Tony said. “You must do it right or something.”

How else is there to do it? “You’ll get your hug, boy.”

“I don’t deserve it,” Tony said. “I’ve practically told you that I think your sister is hotter than you.”

“You didn’t practically do nothin’, man,” Sonya said. “She is hotter than I am and will probably always be.”

“In an edgy sort of way.”

After the game, which the Lakers won over the Clippers in a landslide, they went to Tito’s Tacos in Culver City, ate too many tacos and enchiladas, and snoozed on the ride back to the mansion. At the door, Sonya gave him her usual hug.

“Did I do it right?” Sonya asked.

Tony stepped back. “You really care about us, don’t you?”

“Yes. I care about all of you,” Sonya said. “So … did I give you the hug?”

“Yeah.” Tony smiled.

“What did it feel like?” Sonya asked.

Tony opened the door and looked back. “It felt like … love.”

Do I mind that a camera practically in my back pocket recorded all that? No. I do hug people with love.

Sonya stepped inside and looked up the stairs. Kim sitting on the top step. Hmm. Waiting up for your mama and her date? I should dip Tony to the floor and kiss him passionately to mess with her.

“Um, good night,” Tony said.

My daughter is giving me the Evil Eye. Hmm. Sonya kissed Tony on the cheek. “Thank you for a wonderful date.”

Tony nodded, waved at Kim, and went into the great room.

Sonya took her time going up the stairs and down the hall to her room, Kim trailing behind.

As soon as Kim shut the door behind them, she asked, “Well?”

How should I play this? Coy? Mysterious? Nah. I’ll just play dumb. “Well what?”

“How was your date?” Kim asked.

Sonya sighed and kicked off her shoes. “I’m not even sure what the score of the game was.” She smiled into the mirror. “I was so busy talking to Tony that I didn’t even notice the game had ended.”

“What’d you talk about?” Kim asked.

“Oh, this and that,” Sonya said. She took off her jeans and put on some sweats. “Nothing you’d be interested in. I mean, we were only having a conversation. You’re not one for talking, right?” She went to the bed, picked up the remote, and turned on the TV.

Kim went to the TV and hit the power button. “What’d you talk about, Sonya?”

She is really interested. “Oh, his family for one thing. He’s the youngest of twelve.”

“What else?”

“Let’s see.” I don’t want to overdo this. “Hmm. Oh, his career. He would rather do TV and movies than do theater. He says the pay is better.”

Kim sat on the edge of Sonya’s bed. “And what else?”

Should I? I think I should. “We also talked about you.”

“Me?”

Sonya nodded.

“Did he bring me up or did you?” Kim asked.

This really matters to her. The order of things is important to her. “I did.”

“Oh.”

She seems hurt. Oh well. It’s the truth.

“Why’d you bring me up?” Kim asked.

Sonya propped a pillow against the headboard. “I was curious what he thought of you.”

“What does he think of me?” Kim asked quickly.

Wow! He really matters to her. “He says you are tres érotique.”

Kim’s mouth opened and shut several times. “He said that?”

Sonya pulled the covers back and got into bed. “Yep. He also said you were mean as a swamp rat.”

“I am not!” Kim yelled.

“Yeah. He got that wrong. You’re mean as a junkyard dog.”

“I am not,” Kim said softly.

And now she’s pouting. Good. “You’re mean to everyone but Tony. You were cheering for him to win at the park.”

“So?”

“So … he’s noticed. Oh, he said you were a feast for the eyes. He must like to eat snakes and dragons, huh?” That didn’t come out right.

“How much did y’all talk about me?” Kim asked.

“Most of the time,” Sonya said. “I think he has a serious crush on you.”

“Oh.” Kim slid up beside Sonya, her eyes wide. “Oh no. You’re not going to dump him because of that, are you?”

“I ought to,” Sonya said.

“You wouldn’t!” Kim cried.

“But I can’t this week,” Sonya said. “He has immunity.”

Kim pulled the covers up to her waist. “What about next week?”

Sonya smiled. “A lot can happen in a week. Who can say?”

“So you’re thinking about dumping him?” Kim asked.

Was that a tremor in her voice? I think it was. “I don’t plan to. Why?”

“Well, after what he said about me, you should be upset,” Kim said.

“But I’m not upset. He’s excellent company.” And now it’s time to test the waters of jealousy. “Except when the Lakers girls came up to get his autograph. I had to excuse myself so they could all surround him. A few of them even gave him phone numbers. One of those hussies even wanted him to sign his name just above her breast, and on camera, no less.”

“No, they didn’t,” Kim said quickly. “I watched the entire game.”

So she was spying on us! “It’s amazing how fast those girls can climb stairs during commercials.”

Kim seemed to hold her breath. “Did they really give him their numbers?”

Sonya squeezed Kim’s leg. “No, Kim. He paid attention to me and only me the entire time.”

“Well … good.”

My daughter likes a boy, and I’m here to see it. “It’s a pity you don’t like him. I think you two would hit it off just fine.”

Kim slid out of bed and went to the window.

“Is he out there?” Sonya asked.

“Yes.”

And she said that in her soft voice. I didn’t know she had a soft voice. And she didn’t ask which “he” I was referring to. “What’s Tony doing?”

Kim turned. “He’s just sitting at a table, and I think he’s looking up here.”

He’s out there waiting on her. Sonya yawned. “I’m kind of thirsty, Kim. Could you get me a bottled water?”

“Sure,” Kim said, and she ran to the door. She turned the knob, leaned over to look at herself in the mirror, fixed her hair, and zipped out.

Sonya kicked off the covers and went to the window, peeking through the curtains. In less than a minute, Kim appeared at Tony’s table carrying a bottled water and an apple. She handed Tony the apple.

She’s not exactly Eve, and he’s not exactly Adam, but … Wow. She’s actually shy around him. Look at the way they’re smiling and not making eye contact. Yep, this is turning into a matchmaking show all right, just not the one America expects to see or will probably ever see. She turned away from the window. I wish I could match myself with the one I want to be with, but, no, he has to win a challenge first.

She returned to her bed, wormed under the covers, and flipped through the channels. What might John be better at doing than the others?

I mean, other than getting a serious grip on my heart.

Sonya tried Putt-Putt next.

John came in last.

He actually putted better while wearing a blindfold on one of the holes.

Justin won in a landslide. “Tiger ain’t got nothing on me.”

She and Justin flew by helicopter to play golf at Pebble Beach, hitting balls everywhere but the short green grass in the fairway.

“If I can score under my weight for the entire round, I’ll be good,” Justin said.

If I can score under my age on each hole, I’ll be happy, Sonya thought.

She scored under her age only three times in nine holes.

They both gave up after nine holes.

Sonya next tried the soup kitchen idea. Though they all worked extremely hard and served breakfast and lunch at the Hippie Kitchen, the staff chose Gary, mainly for his ability to lift heavy boxes and the barbecue sauce he made. Their date, originally scheduled for Cicada at a one-hundred-dollar-per-meal minimum, ended up back at the Hippie Kitchen.

“Those folks have so little,” Gary said. “I can’t see myself spending a hundred bucks on one meal when that kind of money can feed fifty.”

“Let’s have a working date, then,” Sonya suggested.

After serving dinner and helping to clean up, they ate slices of apple pie in the dining area.

“How much do you miss your kids, Gary?” Sonya asked.

“A lot,” Gary said. “The calls help, but not being with them is hard.”

I know all about that. “Can I be honest?”

“You’re always honest, Jazz,” Gary said. “I really like that about you.”

“I don’t think I could ever tell you to leave the show, Gary. You’re a good man.” A good man is so hard to find, and there should be more good men on TV every week.

“I’m … Thank you.”

“You’re good people, Gary.”

Gary smiled. “So are you, Jazz. So are you.”

But late at night, Sonya only thought of John. He’s the best people. He served everyone at the Hippie Kitchen with a smile and a “God bless you” and carried trays and opened cans and did dishes and mopped. Lord, I need a challenge where he can win. Please provide that challenge to me now!

Sorry, Lord. Also give me some patience.

Now, if You can spare it.

Sonya decided to let Kim plan the next challenge.

“I want to see if they know anything about fashion,” Kim said.

And John will come in last again! “What did you have in mind?”

“I want them to dress me.”

How should I take that one? “You want them to turn you into Barbie?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, it sure beats having them undress you with their eyes,” Sonya said. “Do they have to match the colors of your dragon and your snake? I’m sure they’ll be peeking out of whatever you wear.”

“I’ll even wear something tasteful, okay?” Kim said.

This Sonya had to see.

John took his place on the couch, the same couch where many weeks ago he had rubbed a woman’s feet. Though Sonya had “kept” him week after week, he was starting to feel hopeless.

Maybe I’m just challenge challenged, he thought. I hope the challenge this week involves something outdoors. Maybe we can have a weed-eating contest. I know I’d do well on that.

“Team,” Graham said, “Shani will explain this week’s challenge. I don’t know why we even have challenges. The losers never get booted off.”

Sonya smiled. “There are no losers here, Graham. Yes, fellas, Shani has an interesting challenge for you this week. Shani?”

Shani came out wearing a white collared shirt dress that hit her just above the knee. None of her tattoos were visible, and she stood in front of them barefoot and without the wig.

Wow, John thought. She is Sonya’s twin. Very cute and even feminine.

“Gentlemen,” Shani said.

John sat up straighter. She’s never called us that before. We’re in trouble.

“This week you will accessorize this dress, which I found at the Gap,” Shani said.

John shuddered. Accessorize. What an evil-sounding word.

“This dress is white,” Shani said. “It shouldn’t be too hard for you to accessorize.”

“What’s their budget?” Sonya asked.

“Thirty dollars each,” Shani said. “I expect you to accessorize me from head to toe.”

“Yes, Team,” Graham said, “you will be shopping at The Grove in LA. Good luck, and good hunting.”

I have already lost this challenge, John thought. What’s the point of even trying? I should just get her a gift card for thirty bucks to some accessory store.

Once the Team was dropped off at The Grove, John swore he saw tumbleweeds and heard the distant sound of coyotes.

They walked four abreast through the mall, followed closely by a camera crew.

“Fellas,” John said, “I’ve never accessorized a thing in my life.”

“We know, Artie,” Justin said. “I’ll help you.”

“Thanks,” John said. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

They walked each level of the mall, they looked in every window of every store, they drew a sizable following—and then they found Forever 21, the ultimate accessory store.

They commenced to rummage.

“Was it a bright white or an off white, Artie?” Justin asked.

There are different shades of white? I’m sunk. “It was kind of cream, I think.”

“The lighting in that great room turns everything amber,” Justin said. “Maybe it was antique white.”

“So white isn’t always white?” John asked.

“Right,” Justin said.

“That’s just … wrong,” John said.

Gary came to them empty-handed. “Man,” he said, “there’s just too many choices in here.”

“Look, y’all, we’re not here to impress Shani, right?” Justin asked.

“Right,” John said.

“So why are we in here in the middle of all this mess?” Justin asked.

“I never knew white had so many shades,” John said. He picked up a black-and-white-checkerboard beanie. He read the tag. “This is cool. It’s a black-and-white earflap beanie doohickey hat. It has some shade of white in it, doesn’t it?”

Tony arrived carrying a pair of brown boots. “This is hard, man. These cost thirty-five, but they’d be perfect. What’s with the hat, Artie?”

John pointed at a spot. “It has white in it.”

Justin held up a scarf and read: “‘Aztec diamond shimmer shawl.’ There’s some white in this, but I doubt it will match the white of that dress.”

“I don’t know why we just don’t find a Gap and borrow another dress from them,” Gary said. “Then we’d be sure of the color.”

Tony held up the boots. “These folded-cuff knee-high boots are tight, but I’ll need five more bucks.”

“I found her a pocketbook back there,” Gary said. “It’s huge, though. Black leatherette satchel. It’s big enough to hold a bowling ball, and it’ll take all my money.”

Justin laughed. “We suck at this.” He turned to the camera. “We really suck at this.”

And this gives me an idea. “We could all … suck at this together.”

Tony shook his head. “Artie, don’t you want to win?”

“Like Justin said, we’re not here to win Shani’s heart,” John said. “We’re here to win Jazz. Maybe if we make Jazz laugh hard enough, she’ll take all of us out.”

“A group date,” Justin said.

“Right,” John said. “At least it’s a date, right?”

“Works for me,” Justin said.

John smiled at the camera. “America, is any of this accessorizing really necessary? I thought the dress looked fine like it was.” He turned to the Team. “Fellas, we just have to make her accessories, um, as hideous as possible.”