A Glimpse of the Dream (22 page)

And I wanted us back; it was time to move forward, no more hiding. She’d said asking for help and being helpless weren’t the same. I wanted to believe that, and once upon a time I had, but I sort of lost that lesson in the years since the fire.

I knew the direction I wanted to go, had known for a long time where I saw my niche. Mrs. Marks was getting too old, as were the others. Running Raven’s Peak was becoming more than they could handle. She and I had discussed the idea of turning the place into Raven’s Peak Inn. She liked the idea, more if I was in charge of it, since I knew the place and would respect it. I wanted it too, and I knew she suggested it because she knew I needed to get back up on the horse. I had kept myself busy with things, but nothing that tested what I could and couldn’t do. I needed to understand my limitations. I feared they were far more than I wanted to admit, but I would never know until I tried.

Having a plan was one thing, but I didn’t know where to start. There was someone who could help me, however. “We’re going to the O’Malleys’, Zeus.”

I had walked the same way to town ever since I was a kid. I was sure I could do it without Zeus, not that I would ever attempt it. The O’Malleys lived just off Main Street. It was early, well, early for the O’Malleys who liked to sleep in whenever possible, but I needed to talk to Mr. O’Malley. He could help me hash out the ideas for the inn, since he had run his own business for years before the economy had crashed. Stepping up to the front door, it took me a minute to find the bell.

A few moments later, I heard the sound of feet, the unlocking of the door, then felt the swish of air as the door opened and heard the startled intake of breath.

“Kane? You okay?” Kathy asked. “Come inside. Hi, Zeus.”

Walking into the foyer, I stopped and waited for Kathy to close the door. She was always tense around me. I could feel the stress coming off her. I’d always had the sense that I made her uncomfortable, which made sense given how all this had happened. But there always seemed to be more to her discomfort than that.

“Is your dad home?”

“Yeah, I’ll go get him. Would you like to wait in the kitchen? I just made some coffee.”

“That’d be great.”

Following after her, I leaned up against the counter and listened to her moving through the kitchen as she prepared my coffee. “Black, right?”

“Yes.”

I felt her hand on mine, then the warmth of the mug as she pressed it into my palm. “Thanks.”

“I’ll go get my dad.”

Sipping the coffee, I listened to the stillness. The house wasn’t up yet. I felt bad about that. Cinnamon wafted toward me; Mrs. O’Malley had probably made one of her cinnamon Bundt cakes for dessert the night before. It was a damn fine cake, almost as good as Mrs. T’s creations.

Heavy footsteps down the stairs signaled the arrival of Mr. O’Malley. As was his way, he walked right up to me, taking my hand in a firm shake. “Kane. Everything okay?”

Lowering my head, I found my words caught in my throat for a moment. “Not entirely. I want a life with Tea and to do that I need to move forward—I never had a dad, but I kind of think of you as one. I’ve been stagnating.” My head lifted. “I need to stop hiding. I need to enter the world again as a blind man, need to find how I fit, but I’m not sure where to begin.”

He was crying. I could hear the tears in his voice. “You are a strong man, son. I can’t tell you how long I’ve, hell, how long we’ve all waited to hear you speak those words. Make no mistake, Kane, you’ve been through hell and you’ve come out on the other side. Maybe you disengaged, but I wouldn’t say you were stagnating. I realize much of the work you’ve occupied your time with since the accident were more hobbies than jobs, but you never stopped trying. And in the trying, you learned that your blindness isn’t as debilitating as you feared. Now that you’re ready, a good way to find where you fit is to figure out what you want to do with your life. Do you have any ideas?”

“I want to turn Raven’s Peak into an inn. I want to learn the ins and outs of a venture like that.”

“Sounds like a plan to me. So now you just need to learn the business.”

“How?”

“I can help. There are also online classes, but a lot of it is intuitive. Knowing you, you’ll pick it up really easily.”

“Will you help me?”

“Yes, I’ll help you.” I felt his hands on my shoulders. “I think of you as a son, Kane. I’m here for you. We all are.”

“Thank you.”

Teagan

I had no idea how much dirt a window box required. Simon and I had purchased four large bags, and each box took two. He was off buying us more so I could fill the four boxes that graced the front of the house. I hadn’t seen Kane since he’d suggested this—that was a few days ago. Hopefully he wasn’t having second thoughts; with how things were left, I wasn’t really sure.

The bright flowers looked so pretty against the creamy white of the box. I finished the two boxes and, while I waited for Simon, dug a little garden near the front stoop. Unlike the dirt, I had purchased too many flowers and thought a colorful garden by the door would be welcoming. Digging through the dirt, I uncovered so many worms. I grinned at the memory of Kane and his worm potpie when we were kids. I had never seen him look so grossed out. I lifted one of the little guys in my hand and felt its wet little body squirming. A heaviness settled in my chest remembering Kane when we were kids—he’d had so many dreams, like his wish to build a boat, and the fire had cost him all of them. Zeus appeared at my side. I was so startled I nearly tossed the worm.

“Tea?”

Hearing Kane’s voice pulled me from my forlorn thoughts. “By your front door. I was adding a garden just off the steps.”

“Sounds nice.”

A few seconds later, he was on the ground next to me. Reaching for his hand, I dropped the worm into his palm.

“Don’t eat him,” I teased.

The smile came in a flash. “I never did get you back for that.”

“You teased me enough growing up.”

“Maybe, but that trick was really disgusting.”

“Yeah, lucky for you that you didn’t just dig in to your dinner.”

“And that’s what made it so disgusting. The what-if.”

“The look on your face was classic. I should have gotten a picture.”

“You would have had it turned into wallpaper and papered your room with that instead of the blue silk.”

“Nope, the blue silk matches your eyes perfectly.”

“Could have had my whole grossed-out face.”

“Nope, your eyes were the very first thing I noticed about you when we met. Did you know that? Just those eyes, so blue.”

His smile faded. Touching his chin, I turned his head to me. “Just because they don’t see doesn’t mean they aren’t still the windows to your soul. I still see you, Kane. I can still see inside you.”

A light brushing of his fingers over my face told me he was reading my expression and could see that I wasn’t kidding. I meant every word. Cupping my chin, he brushed his thumb over my cheek. “Sorry about the other day. I could have really hurt you.”

“You are bigger than me Kane, but I’m not a doll. I’ve taken your weight before.”

“Not like that.”

“I’m still here. I still want to be here. I’m still going to eat all the cake Mrs. T has made for dinner.”

“Not if I get there first.”

“Is that a challenge, Kane Doyle?”

“Maybe not if it’s just cake, but for a kiss, absolutely.”

“Let me get this right. If you beat me back to the house, you get to kiss me?”

“Yep.”

“If I conceded you the victory, would you kiss me now?”

His voice grew hoarse. “Yeah.”

“You win. Kiss me, Kane.”

Cradling my face again, he kissed me like it was his job. His tongue pushed past my lips, stroking and warring with my own. I had never forgotten his taste; I loved it, was addicted to it. His fingers tightened on my scalp as he kissed me deeper. Pressing myself against him, I gave back as good as I was getting. We were both out of breath by the time we ended the kiss.

“Missed that,” he whispered.

“You and me both.”

Zeus growled. “Simon’s back. He went to get more soil for the boxes. Help me finish, and then we’ll get dinner and cake, and, later, maybe you’ll kiss me again,” I said.

“I like this plan.”

“I like you.”

The previous day had been a really good day. After we’d finished the window boxes, the three of us had gone to dinner at the house and after, while cuddling in the library, Kane had kissed me again. Simon had gone to bed early, but I suspected he hadn’t even been tired; he just wanted Kane and me to have time alone. For almost an hour, we’d made out like school kids on the sofa. On the surface, we were healing and finding each other again, but we weren’t scratching below the surface. I had a life in Boston, a life I wanted to share with Kane, but one I suspected he didn’t want any part of, since he barely engaged in his hometown. The idea that he’d travel all the way to Boston was laughable. And more than I perceived his need to separate himself from life, I knew he was holding a part of himself back from me—a part of him I no longer could touch. I’d had all of Kane. I wasn’t going to settle for just part of him. I knew that at some point, we would have to address where we saw ourselves going.

That morning I was helping Mrs. T make breakfast. She was preparing a coffee cake, one of Kane’s favorites, and teaching me as she went. The door opened and Kane appeared, Zeus at his side. He was carry something; it looked heavy and, from the flush on his face, I suspected he’d brought it all the way from his house.

“Let me get that for you,” I said as I approached him. He had done the hard part and could probably use the breather.

“I’ve got it, Tea.”

“I know, but you looked wiped. Let me help you.”

“Tea, I’ve come this far. I can finish.” I relented at the bite in his words.

“Okay.”

“Smells good, Mrs. T. Is that my coffee cake?”

“It is. I’m teaching Teagan, so she can make it for you herself.”

He grinned. “Nice.”

“Would you like some coffee?” I asked.

“I’ll get it.”

“Kane, I’m standing right here next to the coffee maker.”

“Tea, I’ve been making my own coffee since I was eleven, I can do it.”

Why was he being so stubborn?

“Fine.” I sounded like a child, but he was being difficult. He stiffened at my tone, but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“I’m going to the boatyard later. Do you need anything from the market, Mrs. T?”

“Apples. There aren’t as many as I thought, and I plan on whipping up an apple galette for dessert.”

A walk into town sounded nice, especially since the doctors were still running tests on Mrs. Marks. “I’ll come into town with you, and I’ll get the apples while you’re at the boatyard.”

“I’m going to be in town already. I can just as easily get the apples,” Kane replied, and there was definitely hostility coming off him now.

Throwing up my hands, a pointless gesture, since he wouldn’t see it, I said, “I’m just trying to help.”

“When I need your help, I’ll ask for it,” he snapped.

“But you don’t ask for help, because you think asking for help makes you look weak.”