A Gift of Grace (12 page)

“You know the bishop will go after the guardians of the misbehaving child.” He pointed to his chest. “That would be me, as the head of this household. And they aren’t even our children.”

Her stomach twisted at the coldness of his words. So he did resent her for not giving him a child. The bitterness in his expression stole her breath, and for a moment she couldn’t speak.

“They are our nieces,” she finally said, her voice trembling with the pain caused by his words. “They’re all I have left of my sister.”

“But it may not be best for them here,” he said. “You might want to consider that. If they aren’t happy, then it may not be the best solution to keep them here.”

“I think they belong here,” she whispered. “It was Grace’s wish, and I think it’s God’s will. They are the children I couldn’t have, Daniel. Don’t you see that? I couldn’t give you children, so we have my nieces to care for.”

He sighed, his eyes full of hurt. “I don’t blame you for that, Becky. Don’t you see that?” He gently touched her cheek, and she swallowed a lump that threatened to form in her throat.

“Just remind Jessica of our rules,” he said, his voice warm and smooth like chocolate pudding. “That’s all I ask.”

“
Ya
,” she whispered. “I’ll speak with Jessica.”

“She can’t flaunt her worldly ways,” he said, picking up the Bible. “Her inappropriate behavior reflects on our household, and we can’t tolerate it.” He turned his gaze back to the Bible.

Rebecca cleared her throat and made an attempt to change the subject. “Lindsay did great today,” she said. “She’s a natural in the kitchen and a fast learner. I think she enjoyed it too.”

Daniel nodded without looking up from the Bible. “
Gut
. We can have our devotion and prayer time here after they’re done with the dishes.”

“
Ya
.” Glancing toward the doorway to the kitchen, Rebecca sighed. She silently sent a plea up to God for guidance and patience with her nieces as well as a plea for understanding from her husband.

Line bottom of buttered baking dish with thick layer of peaches and sprinkle with mixed cinnamon, sugar, and dots of butter.

Sift into mixing bowl:

1–1/4 cups of sugar

3/4 tsp baking powder

1 cup flour

3/4 tsp of salt

Break 1 egg into above mixture; mix until crumbly. Put over peaches and bake at 350 degrees until crust is brown. Serve with whipped cream or ice cream.

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S
o the furniture store wasn’t so bad, huh?” Lindsay dried another dish and set it in the cabinet.

Jessica shrugged. “It was fine. At least it was busy, so the day went by quickly.” She scrubbed the pot and then handed it to her sister to dry.

“That’s good. The bakery was busy too.” Lindsay swiped the pot with a towel. “But I liked learning the recipes. They eat some good food.”

“You like it?” Jessica scrubbed the glasses.

“Yeah, I do.” Her young sister smiled. “I think I might actually get to like it here. At least, it’s better than I thought it would be.”

Jessica stared down at the glasses. Had she just heard her sister correctly? She cut her eyes back up to Lindsay’s. She checked to make sure the doorway was empty and then leaned over to her sister. “You like it here? You’ve got to be kidding me. Why would you want to stay here in this repressed culture? Don’t you miss having a CD player and TV? And what about a computer and the Internet?”

Lindsay frowned. “There’s more to life than electricity and music.”

Jessica threw down the dishrag. “Don’t you miss your friends?”

“Sure I do, but we’ll make more friends here, Jess. And we can visit our friends. I’m sure Aunt Rebecca would let us take a bus down there to see them sometime. Maybe in a few months we can make a trip together. Since we have Trisha’s cell phone, we can call them and arrange something.”

Jessica nodded, and her thoughts turned to Brian. She gasped.
Oh no!
She’d forgotten to call him back.

“You okay?” Lindsay touched her arm. “You look upset.”

“I just remembered I never called Brian back. He left me a voicemail earlier.” She dried her hands on her jeans. “Can you finish up? I want to call him before it gets too late.”

“Sure.” Lindsay cinched her eyebrows in disbelief. “Your cell phone still works? I figured it would be dead by now.”

“Yeah.” Jessica snatched it from her purse on the counter. “Jake charged it for me in his truck.”

“Who’s Jake?” Lindsay asked, her eyes lifting with question.

“I work with him.” Jessica started out of the kitchen toward the back stairs.

“He has a truck?” Her sister called after her. “Tell me more!”

“Maybe later.” Jessica trotted up the stairs while flipping the phone open. She scrolled through to find Brian’s number and then hit Send while hurrying down the hall. While it rang, she entered her room. While balancing the phone between her ear and her shoulder, she lit the kerosene lantern and flopped onto her bed.

“Hey, Jess,” Brian said. “How are you?”

She smiled at the sound of his voice, warm and familiar. “Fine. How are you?”

“I’m okay,” he said.

She heard a rustling sound and then his muffled words. “Who else is there?” she asked.

“Morgan and a few of my buddies are here,” he said.

“Oh.” Her stomach twisted with jealousy. Why was Morgan with him and his buddies? Were Morgan and Brian … ? She pushed that thought away. No, they couldn’t be.

“Hang on,” he said. “Morgan wants to talk to you.”

There was more rustling and then Morgan’s voice sounded through the phone. “Hi, Jess! How are you?”

“Hi.” Jessica rolled onto her back and stared up at the plain white ceiling. “I’m doing all right. What’s new with you?”

“Not much. We’re having a study group at Brian’s.” The sounds in the background faded, and Jessica imagined Morgan walking away from the group. “We’re all cramming for the chemistry final on Wednesday. You know how Mr. Elkins’ tests are.”

“Yeah.” Regret vibrated through Jessica. If her parents were still alive, she’d be cramming along with them. “How is everyone?”

“The same. You aren’t missing much,” Morgan said. “I got the voicemail you left last night. I’ve been meaning to call you. You mentioned that you were starting work today. How’d it go?”

“It went fine.” Jessica rolled onto her side. “I’m running the front of the furniture store where my uncle works.”

“Sounds exciting.” Morgan’s voice seeped sarcasm.

“Actually, it’s not so bad. There’s a nice guy who works there named Jake.”

“Oh?” She heard the smile in Morgan’s voice. “Is he hot?”

Yes!
“I guess.” Jessica tried not to sound too excited about him. She didn’t want to give Morgan the wrong idea. “He took me to lunch and let me charge my phone in his truck.”

“Wow! Do you like him?”

“As a friend—besides he’s Mennonite, which is almost Amish. I think our lives are too different.” Jessica closed her eyes, trying to remember the details of Brian’s face. He was her boyfriend, not Jake.

“Does he like you?”

“Morgan, I’m dating Brian. Remember?”
At least I think we’re still dating
.

“Yeah, but …”

“But what?” Jessica sat up straight. “What are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything.” A voice sounded behind Morgan, and rustling noises filled the line again. “Hey, Jess,” Morgan said. “Brian wants to talk to you. I’ll talk to you later, okay? I miss you.”

“Miss you too.” Jessica leaned back on the headboard, and her lip trembled. She cleared her throat and pushed away thoughts of missing her friends.

“Hi again,” Brian said. “So what’s this about a hot guy at your new job?”

“What?” Jessica shook her head. “I didn’t say anything about a hot guy at my job.”

“I heard Morgan say something about a guy at your job who’s hot or something. What’s his name?”

“His name is Jake, and he’s just a friend.”

“Do you like him?”

“Brian, are you kidding me?” Jessica’s voice rose with frustration. “I was forced to move against my will, and you think I’m dating other guys?”

“Are you?” he asked.

“No.”

“Good.”

She smiled. Maybe everything was okay between them. She’d only imagined that he’d moved on and forgotten her. “Do you miss me?” She held her breath, anticipating his answer.

“Of course. Do you miss me?” Brian asked.

“Like crazy.” She grabbed a photo of her, Brian, and Morgan from her nightstand and studied it. She’d give anything to go back to that trip to the Outer Banks, sunning on the beach, the smell of suntan lotion and the sound of the waves crashing at their feet. She sighed.

More voices sounded in the background on the other end of the line.

“Look, I gotta go. I’ll call you later, okay?” he asked.

She gnawed her bottom lip. Did he have to hang up so soon? “Yeah.”

“Take care.”

“You too,” she said.

“Bye.” The line went dead.

“I love you,” Jessica whispered into the silent phone line.

She wondered why he had hung up so quickly. Did he really miss her or had he just said it to be nice?

Grief and regret sliced through her heart. She wished she were back in Virginia Beach and life was the way it used to be. She missed her parents, Brian, her friends, her house, and her school.

She snapped the phone shut, tossed it onto the bed, and dissolved into tears.

Jake’s words echoed through her mind. Is this what God had in store for her—living a life in a strange place while her friends back home moved on without her? Why would God want her to be so unhappy? Closing her eyes, she continued to cry.

Lindsay stood outside of Jessica’s closed door and listened to the sounds of her sister’s crying. She bit her lip, pondering if she should go in or mind her own business. Her sister was obviously upset. Something was wrong.

The sound of the sobs increased, and Lindsay couldn’t take it any longer. She couldn’t let her sister suffer alone. Pushing the door open, she entered her sister’s room and found Jessica sprawled across her bed.

The phone sat at the end of the bed, and Lindsay wondered if Brian said something to hurt her. Lindsay had long suspected he’d been cheating on her, especially after she’d spotted Morgan and Brian kissing one night when they came over to watch a movie with Jessica.

After that incident, Lindsay wanted to tell Jessica, but she was afraid of hurting her sister. Now she wondered if she’d made a mistake keeping it from Jessica.

“Hey.” Lindsay lowered herself onto the bed and touched her sister’s ponytail. “What happened?”

Jessica rolled onto her back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I just talked to Brian and Morgan.”

“What did Brian do this time?” Lindsay frowned. She’d love to smack that boy for always hurting Jessica. Since they’d met, he’d broken up with Jessica twice, and her sister was always a fool and took that jerk back after he’d changed his mind. Lindsay wished her sister would realize that she was too good for that loser.

“I just get the feeling they’ve forgotten me and moved on with their lives.” Jessica sat up and straightened her blouse. “And Brian has never really said he misses me. I just feel so alone.”

“You’re not alone.” Lindsay hugged her. “You have me and Aunt Rebecca and Uncle Daniel. And what about your new friend Jake? What’s he like?”

Jessica shrugged. “He’s nice. I think he’s a few years older than me. He’s cute.”

“Cute?” Lindsay grinned. Maybe Jessica had finally found someone nice and would forget that jerk Brian.

“Yeah. He’s tall and has dark hair and blue eyes.” Jessica’s cheeks turned a bright pink. “He has a nice smile too.”

“Oh really?” Lindsay touched her sister’s arm. “He sounds more than just cute.”

“We’re just friends.” Jessica frowned. “But I still love Brian even though I get the feeling he doesn’t love me anymore.”

“Mom always said we were too young to get serious about a boy. Maybe we should take Mom’s advice.”

Tears glistened in her older sister’s eyes. “But Mom’s gone, and I feel so alone.”

Lindsay hugged her again. “You’re not alone. Stop saying that. Aunt Rebecca says we have to have faith. Just have faith.”

“How can I have faith when I don’t understand why Mom and Dad had to die? Why did God have to take them from us?” she asked, her voice trembling.

“I don’t know why they had to die. I wonder that all the time, but we’ll make it through this together, okay?” Lindsay asked.

Jessica nodded and hugged her tighter. “I just miss them both so much, and I feel so lost without them.”

“I know what you mean.” Lindsay blew out a trembling breath. “Sometimes I have these dreams that our life is back to normal. We’re living in our old house, and we’re in the den eating popcorn and watching a movie with Mom and Dad. It’s so real that I can smell Dad’s aftershave and taste extra butter movie popcorn. Then I wake up in my room here, and it’s like a cruel joke.”

Jessica sniffed. “I have those dreams too. It’s awful to wake up.”

“I know.” Lindsay pulled back and wiped an errant tear from her cheek. “But Aunt Rebecca says it will get easier. She says she felt the same way when she lost her mom. She says she held on to her faith in God, and He got her through.”

Tears flowed from Jessica’s cheek. “But we lost our mom and our dad at the same time. She only lost her mom. It’s harder on us. We have no one.”

Lindsay bit her bottom lip and swallowed her forming tears. “But we’re not alone. We have each other and Aunt Rebecca and Uncle Daniel.” Reaching out, she squeezed Jessica’s hand. “Uncle Daniel is about to start devotions. Why don’t you come downstairs? Aunt Rebecca sent me up for you. Maybe you’ll feel better after you hear some verses and pray with us.”

Jessica shook her head. “I’d rather be alone.” She flopped down on her stomach on the bed.

Jessica studied her sister. “You used to like going to church. What happened?”

“That was different. I felt like I belonged there. Here I don’t.”

“But we’re still worshiping God, Jess. We’re just doing it a different way.”

“It’s not the same.” She buried her face in her pillow.

“It makes me feel better when I hear the Word every night with Uncle Daniel and Aunt Rebecca. It gives me hope that we’re going to be okay.”

“Good for you,” Jessica muttered through the pillow. “Go say a prayer for me.”

Scowling, Lindsay stood. “Fine. Suit yourself. Stay here alone in your room if that’s what you want.”

Jessica grunted in reply without looking up at her.

Shaking her head, Lindsay exited the room and closed the door. She knew her sister missed their parents as much as she did, but she wished Jessica would open her heart to Aunt Rebecca and see how much she loved them both.