A Flawed Heart (3 page)

“Um, uh, I…I’m your sister’s friend? I’m, uh…Lydia, I mean…”

He cocks his head to the side and smiles at me. “You’re
Claire.
Right?
Lydia’s new roommate?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.” I shake my head trying to shed the daze he’s
put me in.

“It’s cool. Where’s Lydia?”

“She went to get beer with Kat.”

He smiles. “Okay. Well, come in.”

He gestures for me to enter, and I find that the layout of
his apartment is much different from mine. His place is bigger—it must cost a
fortune to live here. A big kitchen connects to a large living room, and the
living room connects to a hallway where I assume the bedroom and bathroom are
located. I walk toward the couch where his guitar rests. I look up at him and
he’s looking back at me. He licks his lips and looks away. He’s even hotter in
person than I imagined in my fantasy.

“I was just
gonna
make a grilled
cheese. Are you hungry?” he asks.

“I could eat something, I guess. Thanks.”

“Where are you from?” he asks.

“Savannah, Georgia.”

“You’re accent is adorable.”

Blood rushes to my head. I don’t know what to say. “Thank—thank
you.”

I watch him gathering ingredients and pass the time by
surveying his place. It’s not super messy, as I would expect a guy’s apartment
to be. There are posters on the walls and wires strewn all over the place from
video game consoles, speakers and amps. There’s a pair of girl’s boots in the
bottom of the closet.

I hear giggling, and then Lydia and Kat burst through the
door. She mouths “sorry” at me and then flops down beside me on the couch. Kat
grabs a seat at the kitchen table. Jason doesn’t look up from the sandwiches he’s
frying.

“I see you’ve met Claire.” Lydia breaks the silence.

“Yes. She was standing alone in the dark outside my door.
You should really be more courteous to your new friend.” He winks at me and I
try not to smile.

Just then I hear another set of footsteps, and turn to see a
pretty blonde girl walking down the hall toward us. She’s wearing an off-the-shoulder
dress with a skinny belt and leggings. Her hair is everywhere. She has freckles
and her eyes are…
feline
is the only word I can use to describe them. She
slips on the boots that were in the closet, yawns, and stands behind Jason. She
wraps her arms around his chest.

“Skye, this is Claire.” Jason nods toward me.

“Hey.” She doesn’t move to shake my hand, but keeps her arms
securely wrapped around Jason’s body. I feel nauseated
.
I can’t deny the
fact that I felt something for Jason, even before I met him. Sleeping in his
bed, with his books and his records, smelling him, dreaming of him…and now
actually
seeing
him in person—his
body, his voice, his eyes—

Jason clears his throat and the sound breaks me from my
thoughts. “I think we should all get going soon. We just need to wait for Ben
to get back.”

Skye slinks away from Jason and goes back to his bedroom. I
think about what they may have been doing in there before I got here, and I’m
not sure I even want to go to
the show
anymore.

Lydia enters the kitchen and takes a seat on Kat’s lap. Jason
serves me my sandwich. I feel awkward alone in the living room, so I move to
sit on the cushion of the kitchen bay window. The kitchen is painted faded
yellow, and there’s an old sunflower border along the ceiling that must have
been there since the previous residents lived here. I look closer and see that
all the sunflowers have tiny skulls stenciled onto them. The kitchen table is
vintage looking, with clawed feet and tarnished brass legs.

Jason takes a seat at the table where Lydia and Kat are
chatting. I’m distracted, watching his body move. I don’t want to get caught
looking, so I focus on my food. When I do look up, Jason’s staring at me with a
sexy little grin on his face. I feel a current running between us and I wonder
why he’s affecting me with such intensity. I’ve never felt anything like this,
for anyone.

I open my mouth to make small talk with Lydia, but I don’t
get the chance to get the words out.

“Are you enjoying your sandwich
,
 Claire?”
Something about the way his mouth shapes my name is doing things to my body.

“Yes, thank you.”

I watch him as he eats. His lips are big and pouty for
a guy. He breaks a piece of the grilled cheese off and pops it in his mouth.
Rather than using his napkin he licks his fingers. His jawbone protrudes
as he
chews, and his Adam’s
apple bobs as he swallows.
He slides back in his chair and relaxes as he eats. When he finishes his
sandwich, he places his plate in the sink and walks out of the kitchen without
looking at me again.

“You mind washing the dishes, Lydia? I can’t risk having the
dish soap dry out my hands before the show.” He calls back at us, and I hear
him laughing.

“Dick,” Lydia says.

The door opens, and in walks a guy wearing a Metallica shirt
and green cargo pants. He has short, dark hair, and from where I’m sitting, he
looks like he’s eight feet tall.

“What up? I’m Ben.” He gives me a salute.

“This is my roommate Claire. She’s from Georgia,” Lydia
says.

“Welcome to the jungle.” He walks toward the bed rooms.

“That’s Jason’s roommate. You ready to get out of
here?”

I nod. “All right, yeah, let’s go.”

Lydia, Kat, and I walk out onto the sidewalk and Skye, Ben,
and Jason join us shortly. Jason has his guitar case slung on his back, and he’s
smoking a cigarette. Skye chats with Ben about someone named Alana, and Lydia
joins them. I reach into my bag and grab my cigarettes, but I can’t find my
lighter and I fumble around with the zippers and pockets.

“Hey, let me light that for you.”

Jason pulls out a Zippo. His thumb flicks it and it opens
with a flame. I wrap my lips around my cigarette, place the tip in the flame,
and look up at him. He looks from my eyes to my mouth, and back to my eyes
again. The flame is reflected in his eyes, and he still has that sexy grin on
his face. I puff and pull away from his light but not his gaze.

“Thanks, Jason.”

Lydia grabs my elbow and pulls me along with her, which ends
the moment.

“Let’s go get wasted,” she squeals, and tugs me along beside
her. We walk about ten feet ahead of everyone, her arm linked in mine. I look
back over my shoulder and Jason is holding Skye’s hand. I feel a lump rise in
my throat.

“How long has your brother been dating Skye?” I ask Lydia.

“Like a week. I don’t think they’re, like, really 
a
thing
,
 though. I
don’t think Jay asked her to go out, you know, or whatever. She’s totally into
him, and she’s like, mentally 
willing
 him to be hers, or
something. I don’t trust her. She’s a typical groupie. She has a boner for
Jason because he’s a musician. Maybe she thinks she’ll be a rock star’s wife
one day, or something. She’s pretty lame, but I’m sure Jason could do worse.
Ben, on the other hand, has been talking to Skye’s friend Alana. She’s awesome.
Oh, that reminds me—Alana wanted me to tell them she’ll be coming late tonight.
I’ll be right back.”

Lydia frees her arm from mine and runs back toward Ben and
Skye. Jason is no longer walking with them. He’s walking toward me. He takes
long strides and quickly catches up.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” I reply. 

His pace is even with mine. The wind blows and I get
whiff of his cologne. It smells spicy, and I recognize this smell from his
pillow
. 
I blush at the memory, wishing now more than ever that
my fantasy had been real.

“So, you moved in today?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“Cool. You have a job yet?”

“No. I was thinking of looking into substitute teaching or
something. I was
an English
major.”

“Really?” he turns his head and looks me up and down. “I had
you pegged you for a dancer, what with your legs and everything.”

Just then I trip over my own feet. Jason grabs my elbow
before I eat the pavement.

“Shit. Yeah, I’m definitely 
not
 a dancer.
Beauty and grace
are
not my thing.”

His gaze locks with mine, and I’m once again caught in that
crazy current. He lets go of my elbow and slides his hand onto the small of my
back. I startle at the intimacy of his touch and the closeness of his body. He
brings his mouth to my ear, and I feel his hot breath on me as he whispers, “Hmm.
I don’t know about that.”

Chapter Two

He r
emoves
his hand from my back, and slows his pace to match Ben and Skye’s. Lydia skips
over and links her arm through mine again.

“You okay? You’re falling over, and you didn’t even drink
anything yet,” she says.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a little clumsy.”

We arrive at
the
bar.
The wooden sign that reads
Alexa’s
is faded. There are Christmas lights in the window, which were probably put
up a hundred years ago at holiday time and never taken down again. The bouncer
checks our IDs, and we squeeze inside the packed bar. Lydia is greeted by a
huge group of her friends. Everyone loves her. She introduces me to a mass of
people. I catch some of their names, smile, and wave hello. Then, I excuse
myself to walk over to the bar. I’m nervous and I need a drink.

The bartender’s hair is blonde with some gray mixed in, and
it’s pulled back in a low bun. She wears a fitted, flannel shirt, old jeans,
and work boots. She has a bottle opener in her back pocket, and she looks
tough. She sees me waiting and starts to come over, but stops when she sees
Jason. He’s standing several feet from me. She leans over the bar to give him a
tender hug. Jason says something to her and nods in my direction. She looks at
me and nods at him, then turns and pours two shots of
Jagermeister
and places one in front of Jason. He lays some money in front of her, and she walks
over to me with a smile.

“Hello, Claire. I’m Alexa. Welcome to my place. This is a
little gift from Jason. He calls it his
liquid
courage
.”

“Thank you, ma’am.
It’s nice to
meet you.”

Jason is leaning against the bar, facing me. He raises his
glass over the heads in the crowd, wordlessly toasting me and inviting me to
drink. I raise my glass in return, and my eyes lock with his. In this moment, I
feel like we’re the only two people here. I put my glass to my lips and knock
the drink back. He does the same and gives me a sly wink, then turns and walks
toward the back of the bar.

Lydia comes over, and orders a bucket of Rolling Rock after
chatting with Alexa.

“Come on, let’s move up front.” She takes my hand in her
free one, and we make our way through the crowd.

There are cocktail tables at the front, and one has a
reserved card on it. This strikes me as funny—a VIP table in such a shitty
place. I’m wondering who it’s for when Lydia pulls out a chair. She smiles at
me.

“Being related to Jason has some benefits, best seats in the
house.”

Ben sits with us, though he barely fits at the table. The
fourth seat is empty, and I wonder who it’s for. I turn and see Skye in the
back with a group of girls, standing on the bottom rung of a bar stool and
yelling to Alexa for more shots. She and her friends must intend to get alcohol
poisoning. I look up at the stage, which is more of a raised floor with a
covered pool table on it. A spotlight shines on a single bar stool and
microphone. I grab a beer from the bucket and pound half of it.

“Jeez.
You thirsty Claire?”
Ben
asks.

“Yeah.
A little, I guess.”

Ben grabs a bottle, elbows me and gives me a smile.
“Me too.”

A beautiful girl with pin-straight, jet black hair
approaches our table.

“Alana, finally!”
Ben gets up and
bear hugs her.

She sits down, and Lydia introduces us. Then the lights dim,
and the bar is cast into darkness except for the light on the stage. The
background music in the bar stops playing, and out walks Jason. It’s only been
minutes since he left my sight, and I feel an odd sense of relief upon his return.
He has the brightest, most charming smile on his face as he waves to the crowd
and laughs to himself at the onslaught of attention. He slings his guitar
behind him like Johnny Cash, and everyone breaks into a mix of applause and
shouting. I feel the tingling, mischievous anticipation that forms when a young
crowd is submerged in darkness. I clench my beer bottle and sit up straight on
the edge of my seat. I can’t wait to hear Jason’s delicious voice again.

He sits on the stool, balances his guitar on his knee and
adjusts the strap. He grips the mike and greets the crowd. “It’s good to be
here with you.”

Shouts and whistles erupt from the audience. Jason strums
his guitar and begins to sing…

His eyes are closed, and his throaty voice sounds sweet and passionate.
His guitar playing is flawless. As he plays, the tendons in his tattooed
forearms flex and release. I notice all of this in seconds. My eyes are hungry
to drink in the details of this moment. As he approaches the chorus, the entire
bar sings along and a huge grin spreads across my face. I join them. Lydia
sings and pumps her fist in the air. Ben holds Alana’s hand and leans back in
his chair, bobbing his head.

Jason has the entire place in the palm of his hand. I can’t
take my eyes off of him. He’s confident, maybe a little bit cocky, but for some
reason it’s endearing to me and not obnoxious. As he continues to play, he
looks out into the audience, and his gaze locks with mine. My ears get hot. I
blush, smile, and look down at my drink. I take another swig of my beer and I see
Skye and her crew winding their way up to the front.