A Family Man (34 page)

Bugs rested his hand on his shoulder. “They gonna pull the plug whether you’re there of not. If you love that kid you will be there to say goodbye. You think this isn’t killing Beth as much as it is you?”

“Then why’s she agreeing to do it?”

“
Because Amy’s dead. It’s just the machines keeping her alive. I’m sorry, Tiny. If I was in your position and it was one of my kids, shit. I can’t even bring myself to think about it. I can only imagine how much you’re hurting. But please, go and say goodbye to your little girl.”

~ oOo ~

The room was silent. Joe, Beth, and Barney watched as the ventilator was removed and the machines switched off. Joe felt Beth’s hand slip into his as Amy’s chest became still. He reached out and brushed the long blonde hair away from his kid’s face and, bending down, kissed her on the cheek. “Night, sugar. Sweet dreams.”

THIRTY-NINE

They had decided against an open casket. One side of Amy’s face had been pretty much caved in, and it was agreed that it was better for everyone to remember her the way she had been. The casket lay in the funeral home, bedecked with flowers and a hideous pink sparkly unicorn waiting to be transported the short distance to the cemetery. Outside, in the weak winter sun, bikers, school friends and family members milled around, waiting for the cortege to leave.

Beth, with the help of Yaz, Bugs’ old lady, had organized pretty much everything. Amy was a club kid and everyone had rallied round to offer help and support wherever they could. Despite this, she had never felt so alone. The one person she wanted to lean on wasn’t there.

~ oOo ~

Samson pushed open the clubhouse door and limped to the bar. “What you doing here, Tiny?”

“
Drinking.” He scowled. “Ain't you supposed to be at the funeral home, sniffing round my old lady, like you been doing for the last week?”

“
You’re hurting. And because of that I’m gonna let that little comment go.” Samson pulled himself up to his full height. “But let’s be clear. You ever make an accusation like that again, and I ain't gonna be so friendly.”

Joe shrugged and turned back to his bourbon. “Don’t much give a shit what you do, bro.”

“So this is how it’s gonna be, is it? You, here alone, wallowing in self pity, while your old lady carries all this shit on her own? What about your brothers? Barney? Your ma? How is it that they can be there for Amy but you can’t?”

“
You wanna stay outta shit you don’t understand.”

“
How about you explain it to me. C’mon, Joe. How is it that your pain is greater than theirs? Your Ma who practically raised that girl and despite not being well has flown out to say her goodbyes. Barney losing his daughter so soon after finding her. Beth, who was more of a mom to her than her real mother ever was. Jack, who’s lost his big sister so soon after losing his mom. You want me to go on?”

“
She was my kid.”

“
I know.”

“
No, you don’t. None of you do. She was everything to me, everything. The one pure thing in my life. Without her, when I look inside myself all I can see is darkness.” He swallowed and closed his eyes. “It’s like the light has gone out of my life.”

“
And Beth. What about her?”

“
I love Beth.”

“
Then be there for her.”

“
I can’t. She don’t need to be dealing with my shit. Right now the best thing I can do for her is to stay as far away from her as possible.”

“
The best thing you can do for her is to be there. I’m sick of this bullshit. You made her your old lady. Does that mean nothing to you?”

Joe slumped across the bar. “I can’t. She pulled the plug on my kid.”

“Fuck, man. You still stuck on that? Amy was dead. What is it gonna take to get it into that thick skull of yours? SHE WAS DEAD!” Samson pushed himself away from the bar. “In an hour we will be burying your kid. I can’t force you to be there.”

“
No, you can’t.”

“
You stay here and you can kiss your relationship with Beth goodbye.”

“
She tell you that?”

“
No.” He shook his head. “She doesn’t know I’m here. I ain't doing this for her, you big dumb fuck. I’m doing it for you.”

“
Why?”

“
You’re my brother and I love you. I can't pretend to know what you’re going through. I do know, though, that the person that will get you through this is waiting for you at the funeral home. Please, don’t shut her out.”

~ oOo ~

Leaning on her old friend's arm, Sophia made her way through the crowds to where Beth was standing, talking to Spike. It was clear, even from that distance, that that she was struggling to hold it together and that if wasn’t for these rough bikers and their old ladies she would have fallen apart days ago.

Betty frowned and looked around. “Where’s Joe?”

“I don’t know, but I’ve got a horrible feeling that he’s run out on that girl over there.”

“
Why would he do that? He loves Beth.”

“
Yes, he does. But he’s just lost Amy, and that little girl was his whole world. The fallout from that is going to be massive. He’s hurting and when he’s hurt, he lashes out. My guess is he’s trying to stay away so he doesn’t hurt her.”

Beth watched as Sophia and Betty approached. “Shit, Spike.” She hissed. “I can’t do this anymore. What am I supposed to say?”

“
You’re doing fine. Tiny’s mom is a tough old broad, and she knows what a douche he can be. Tell her the truth. He ain't dealing, but you are.” He squeezed her shoulder. “I’m right here, an’ I ain't going anywhere.”

“
Thanks.” She stepped forward and kissed Sophia on the cheek. “Hey.”

“
Hey, girl.” The older woman wrapped her arms around her, and any remaining self control Beth possessed disappeared. She all but collapsed, sobbing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“
Shhh. This wasn’t your fault.” Sophia held her and stroked her hair, making soothing sounds, just like she’d done when she was a kid. She looked up to where Spike was standing. “Where’s Joe?”

Spike shrugged, and, with his hands on her upper arms, gently pulled Beth away. “I’m sorry, love. But we gotta get this done.”

“I know.” She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “Can you get everyone ready to move?”

“
Sure.” He led them to the car, and as soon as they were settled, nodded to the pallbearers.

Beth guessed that the Freaks were well practiced at funeral processions, as the group moved off with the ease of a well oiled machine. Later, if she’d been asked, she wouldn’t be able to say what songs were played, or what Barney had said from the pulpit. Or even who had been standing next to her. All she could focus on was the casket at the front of the chapel and that Joe wasn’t there. And as she had watched as Amy was lowered into the ground with Jack’s hand in hers and tears streaming down her face, she knew that she’d lost more than her niece. She’d lost Joe too.

~ oOo ~

It was 3AM, and the only sound on the deserted Seattle streets was the roar of Joe’s Dyna. He wanted to go home, to fall asleep in the arms of his old lady. But Amy was everywhere, in every room, her ghost lingered. Even outside, the sight of that ugly old truck of hers, tore at his heart. So instead he rode, his vision blurred and his eyes stinging, the sound of his sobs drowned out by the roar from those straight pipes.

A short distance behind, ignoring the doctor’s advice and gritting his teeth against the pain as the muscle in his left leg pulled, Joe’s oldest friend rode, keeping pace with his stricken brother. He might not have realized it, but Joe needed his family. And Samson wasn’t going to let him down.

They rode. And rode. For hour after hour, along deserted roads. Both pushing their bikes harder than they’d ever been pushed before. Joe rode like he had a hundred demons snapping at his tail, trying to outrun the darkness that threatened to envelop him, desperate for the roar of the engine to drown out the screaming in his head. All the while Samson matched his speed, never trying to catch up. Hell, the last thing he wanted to do was look at the expression on his brother’s face. He just stayed far enough away so as not to intrude on Joe’s pain, but close enough to be able to watch over him. Eventually, though, the pain in his thigh started to become unbearable and, spotting a truck stop up ahead, he twisted the throttle and caught up with the bike in front. He pointed to his right, sighing with relief as Joe cooperated and pulled over.

The diner was small, more of an afterthought attached to a 7 Eleven, and the place looked in need of a good clean. Right now, though, Samson didn’t care. As long as the coffee was hot and there was somewhere he could sit and rest his aching leg, it was fine by him. Neither man spoke as they sat at a greasy table by the window.

“
What can I get you fellas?”

“
Two coffees, black.” Samson’s eyes never left his brother. “You hungry, tiny?”

“
Nah, just coffee.” He frowned and looked out of the window. “Why’d you follow me?”

“
Just watching your back, bro.” He shrugged. “I’m pretty sure you’d do the same for me.”

“
Don’t need someone watching me. Especially if that someone had decided to keep my kid’s murderer away from me.”

“
You spoke to Spider?”

“
Why didn’t you tell me?”

“
Nothing to tell. The nomads are out looking. When they find her, she’s all yours. Till then, the best thing you can do is concentrate on your family.”

“
Ain't got no family.”

“
You got Beth, your ma, your brothers.”

“
Amy was my family.”

“
Yes, she was. Look, Tiny. You gotta get right with this. I’ve been sitting behind you for the last two hundred miles, an’ I’ve seen the way you’ve been riding. The way you are right now. You ain't no use to anyone, not to Beth or the club. A brother with a death wish is worse than no brother at all.”

He fell silent as the waitress brought their coffees. “You sure I can’t get you anything else, honey?” She simpered, then, with a look of horror, stepped back as Joe glared at her, his eyes dead and emotionless.

“No. Now fuck off.”

Samson shook his head. “Tiny. Enough.” He turned to the waitress. “I apologize for my brother, ma’am. He’s suffered a loss and it seems to have affected his manners.” He watched as she scurried away. “You gonna insult every civilian we come across?”

“What do you care?” He stood and marched towards the exit.

“
Shit.” Samson dropped some cash on the table and hurried after him. “Brother. Wait up.”

Joe stopped and turned, frowning at how marked Samson’s limp was. “You okay?”

“
Yeah, peachy. I’ve had no sleep and ridden like a bat outta Hell for the last two hundred miles with an infected bullet wound in my leg, trying to stop you from killing your stupid ass.” He grinned. “And I gotta say it’s a decision I’m beginning to regret.”

“
Never asked you to follow me.”

“
No, you didn’t. Luckily for you I’m a persistent fucker. I’m gonna be sticking to you until you finally get your head outta your ass and realize that there’s a whole bunch of people who are there for you.” He shifted, taking his weight off his bad leg. “So don’t you go feeling bad, cuz I’m in pain and really wanted that coffee.”

“
I guess I could do with a coffee too.” Joe started to walk back to the diner. “Then I guess we better head back to Seattle. If you fuck up your leg, Beth will rip me a new one.”

~ oOo ~

Candice peeked through the window overlooking the motel parking lot. She was sure she had heard a bike, but there was none to be seen. Sighing, she sat back down on her bed. Paranoia didn’t begin to describe what she was feeling. Dixon had warned her not to use her credit card and to keep moving. Both the cops and the nomads would be looking for her, and if she was lucky the law would catch up with her first. As soon as she’d called him, he’d taken off across the border into Canada, promising that they could meet up as soon as the heat was off. They both knew, of course, that it was never going to happen, and when she’d seen the news reports that Amy was dead, she knew it was only a matter of time before she joined her.

Samson grunted as the sound of his phone penetrated his dreams. “What?” He glanced at the clock on the side. 4am. Fuck. Was he ever going to get a full night’s sleep?

“
I’ve found her.”

“
Good. Do you think you can get her back without fucking it up?”

“
Fox’s on his way with a van. We should be in Seattle by the end of the week.”

“
Okay. Keep me informed. Oh and…”

“
Yeah I know. Don’t fuck this up.”