A Dream Unfolding (22 page)

Drew lightly placed his hand on her cheek.
 
“Thank you, Hannah.
 
I will join you for supper tonight.”
 
Pulling her close, he sealed the promise with a kiss that heated her from fingers to toes.
 
Amazing how he could still elicit that reaction from her after two years of marriage.

“I’ll be praying for you,” she said as he finished loading the last things in the wagon.
 
He smiled and left.

Even with Paul’s help hitching the oxen, she was still slower than most.
 
When she climbed up to the wagon seat and called “all set,” she realized her voice was one of the last.
 
Nothing to be done about that.
 
At the wagon master’s call to “fall in,” Hannah took her place in the long line of wagons. It was a routine that quickly came back, despite having stayed at the fort for a month.

The gentle sway of the wagon calmed her nerves.
 
She wished she had thought to wrap her hands, for she could already feel the blisters starting to form.

She smiled as she thought of his kiss.
 
Love for her husband swelled in her heart.
 
She was sorry for being angry with him for so long.
 
She was sorry for not trusting him to know what was best for their future.
 
From this point forward, she vowed she would change.

Chapter
11

For four days, Hannah saw very little of Drew.
 
He came for supper each night, checking on her, before returning to his patient.
 
In the few short minutes they shared together, she learned that Lieutenant Harrison continued to struggle to fight the infection.
 
Drew shared his concern over the continual traveling—the constant jostling worsened Harrison’s condition—but he understood the need to press on.
 
Hannah continued to pray for the young man.

Since Hannah drove the wagon all day, Betty took over meal preparations.
 
The motherly figure made enough to feed her and Drew.
 
Between Paul and a few other men, Hannah had all the help she needed caring for the oxen, getting water, and all the other daily chores Drew typically handled.
 
She felt a little guilty when she found out the men worked extra hard to get water along this stretch of the river.
 
It was not flowing freely, so the men had to dig into the Arkansas River’s bed for the life giving liquid.
 
Yet, none complained.

Climbing into the wagon, Hannah wrapped an extra blanket around her body.
 
The temperature turned colder, the air crisp, and the skies alluded to snow.
 
Over the past few days, the landscape changed from flat endless prairies to a gentle slope towards the Rocky Mountains.
 
They were in Colorado now and would be nearing Fort Lyon in a few more days.

Again, the complete silence of driving the wagon alone seemed endless.
 
Hannah tried not to let it bother her, but her mind would not be still.
 
And the topic brought a bit of pain.
 
Why was she childless?
 
Day after day the question rattled in her head, accusing.
 
And, like the past few days, it hounded her incessantly.
 
Why hadn’t she and Drew had a baby?
 
They had been married for over two years now.
 
They had plenty of opportunity to conceive, but had not.
 
Was there something wrong with her womb?
 
Was she one of those misfortunate women who were not capable of having a child?
 
Was it Drew?
 
How long would it be?
 
Why would a babe not come?
 
Lord, you know how much I want to give Drew a child.
 
I don’t understand.
 
Please help me.
 
I want a child so badly.
 
My arms feel empty day after day.
 
I was so certain we would have a child by now.
 
When, Lord, when?
 
On and on her thoughts interlaced with her prayers.
 
She wanted to be a mother more than anything.

Her thoughts must have etched deep lines in her face, for when the wagon train camped for dinner Betty pulled her aside for a few minutes.

“What’s wrong, dear?”

Sighing, Hannah confided, “I have been dwelling on my childlessness for days now.”

“Oh, is that all dear?
 
Don’t worry.
 
At least that’s what the good book says.
 
You are not to worry about tomorrow, that’s God’s job.”
 
Betty smiled and patted her hand as if that would make Hannah’s mind stop.

“But, Drew and I have been married for over two years.
 
All of my friends back home had a wee one in the arms by now.
 
Why not me?”

“Dear, babies come in God’s time, not ours.
 
Many women go years before their first
babe
is born.
 
It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong or that God doesn’t have it in mind to give you a child.
 
He’s just taking
his
time with it.”

Wrapping her hands to keep the blisters from getting worse, Hannah thought about what Betty said.
 
Maybe her fears were unfounded.
 
Maybe it was just a matter of waiting for God’s timing.
 
Knowing that didn’t make the waiting any easier.

That evening, once she had the wagon positioned in the customary circle, Hannah jumped down, startling at the unexpected sound of Drew’s voice.

“Hello, beautiful,” he said, pulling her into a tight embrace.

“Drew.
 
I’ve missed you.”
 
Not caring that they could have an audience, she kissed her husband.

Groaning, he pulled away.
 
“I’ve missed you too.”

“How’s the Lieutenant … Harrison was it?”
 
She asked as Drew began unhitching the oxen.

“He is doing much better.
 
He turned the corner this morning.”

“Will you be coming back soon?” Hannah asked, hopeful that the lieutenant would not continue to need round the clock care.
 
The dark circles under Drew’s eyes made him look older.
 
He needed to rest.
 
And she wanted him back with her.

“No.
 
He still needs a great deal of attention.”

Once he had the yoke removed from the oxen, Drew led them out to graze.
 
As he returned to camp, Hannah thought he might collapse from exhaustion.
 
Instead, he sat next to her, thanking Betty for the meal.

As Hannah took a seat next to her husband, Paul said, “The wagon master says we’re pulling out in the morning.
 
He said since we lost so much time at Fort Larned, once we arrive at Fort Lyon, we will only stay a few days.
 
We’ll press on and likely won’t stop for an extended time until we reach New Mexico.”

Drew sighed, his weariness evident.
 
Hannah knew he was concerned for his patient.
 
This was definitely not the news he had been hoping for.

The stay at Fort Lyon was only a week, much to Drew’s chagrin.
 
He hoped they would stay for a few more days, as the lieutenant’s return to health proved slow—and because Drew longed to be reunited with his wife.

He felt terrible for leaving Hannah to fend for herself for the past fifteen days.
 
Guilt stared him in the face as he thought of her driving the wagon alone day after day, a job he should be doing.
 
The assistant wagon master’s warning that he needed to manage things on his own plagued him.
 
While the lieutenant was making positive progress, he was not healthy enough to be left alone.
 
Drew thought he might be able to ask one of the women to care for the young man, but they seemed to be busy caring for their own families, or they were employed by the army or freight teamsters to cook and clean and would not leave their job.

Though the tension between him and Hannah eased during this time, Drew still longed to talk to her—to make sure she was doing well and reassure her that he loved her.
 
The weeks prior to this separation had been difficult.
 
He tried reaching out to her, but she put up a wall.
 
The first sign of a crack in that strong defense came when he asked her to turn the Indian woman’s baby.
 
She listened to each of his instructions and followed them precisely, despite her obvious fear.
 
If they hadn’t been across the river from their own camp, Drew would have taken her in his arms and showered her with kisses.
 
Instead, he gave as much encouragement as he could.

Then, the night the lieutenant was shot, he saw Hannah softening.
 
She even smiled at him before the dinner with the governor—and again several times during dinner.

Her bold kiss the day before they arrived at Fort Lyon made his heart somersault within his chest.
 
The barriers around her heart seemed to be falling.
 
She was letting him near again and it felt good.

Yawning, Drew longed for just a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
 
He couldn’t remember the last night he slept for more than an hour or two at a time.
 
Prior to the lieutenant’s injury, most nights were fitful, filled with concern of what was to come.
 
Second guessing his decision haunted him.
 
Did he make the right choice for Hannah?
 
For himself?
 
Should he do as so many others suggested and follow the governor’s party to Granite Creek?

Lieutenant Harrison stirred, capturing his attention.
 
Looking over, Drew saw he was awake.

“How are you feeling?”

Harrison cleared his throat and hoarsely responded, “Like I’ve been shot.” A smiled played at the corner of his eyes.

“Ah, well, that’s understandable.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

Drew nodded.

“The other day when I was dying,” he said, holding his hand up to stop Drew from arguing the point.
 
“Don’t say I wasn’t, for I know I was.
 
When you laid your hands over the wound and prayed, why did you do that?”

Drew hesitated.
 
He knew that prayer worked.
 
He prayed constantly when working with patients.
 
Whenever he felt he had done all that was humanly possible, he would often get a sense that he should place his hands over the wound and pray for healing.
 
Sometimes God chose to heal, and sometimes he didn’t.
 
Drew knew he was not responsible for the outcome, he was just supposed to obey.
 
How to explain that to the young man?
 
“I was asking God to do for you what I could not.”

A frown crossed Lieutenant Harrison’s face.
 
“Why would God care to heal me?”

Drew did not know how to respond, so he waited, anticipating that Harrison had more to say.