A Different Side (University Park #4) (52 page)

“That’s good, right?” She bit her bottom lip nervously.

I stared past her. I wasn’t sure how that was good, but at least PHU wasn’t ready to kick me out the door. Not yet, anyway. Thinking of that made my throat tightened and my eyes water. It was definitely a possibility my football days were over. But they couldn’t be. They had to give me another chance.

“I still can’t play, but the coach feels like I should make a statement about what happened.” I relaxed my hands, trying to convince myself everything would end in my favor.

“What do you want to do?”

I glanced at the floor. My options were limited. “I don’t think I have much of a choice.”

“Everyone has a choice. It’s just a matter of making the right ones.”

Thanks for reminding me of what a fuck up I am.

I snorted at her comment, not bothering to look at her. The truth hurt. The voices poked at me — laughing, making fun of me. Why were my demons so determined to defeat me?

Lexi rounded the corner and placed her hands on my arms. “Raven?”

“Yeah?”

“Look at me for a moment.”

I lifted my hands to her waist and pulled her close. My gaze met hers and she searched me deeply, as though trying to reveal my past hurts and traumas. But those were my demons to fight. Not hers.

“It sounds like it’s the right thing to do. I know it might embarrass you, but I think if you want to show the coach and the school that you’re serious about straightening up and what happened wasn’t entirely your fault, you need to do it.”

I leaned forward, resting my forehead to hers. I took slow, deep breaths. Lexi was right. Making a statement to the press and explaining why I wasn’t playing in the bowl game to fans was in my best interest. And as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I had to. It was the only way. I just had to believe I was making the right decision.

The demons apparently didn’t think so. They continuously spoke to me, telling me I’d still get kicked off the team and out of school. All that would happen was public embarrassment. I’d have to walk around daily being reminded of what a fuck up I was and how my football days were over. Done.

“Raven?” Lexi spoke softly. “It’s okay, babe. You can trust me. Tell me.”

I trusted Lexi — I just couldn’t tell her I constantly heard demonic voices feeding me a bunch of bullshit about my life. I wasn’t sure she’d understand. She already knew the issues I faced daily; telling her more would only scare her away. “Not right now, Lexi.” I shook my head. I couldn’t let her into this part of my life. “But, you’re right. I should do it. Besides, I have to meet with the admissions board on Wednesday. It will show a good act of faith.”

“Don’t worry, babe.” She stroked my hair, trying to ease the worry. “Everything is going to be alright.”

“I hope so. If the school kicks me out, then I can’t play,” I shamefully admitted. “I mean… is all this really worth it?”

I couldn’t believe I was actually saying that. Football was my life, my dream…it was all I ever wanted, aside from Lexi. But if I continued to listen to the voice of defeat, I’d surely loose. I wasn’t a loser and I sure wasn’t a quitter. Those words didn’t exist in my vocabulary, despite my senseless actions.

I might have given up easily on some things, but I always came back stronger the second time around.

I was fighting for Lexi, the woman I loved.

The woman I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.

I was going to fight for my dream of going pro.

I wouldn’t let the demons win. Not this time. They hadn’t gotten the best of me and they had no idea who they were dealing with —
The Raven
.

Lexi gripped my hands tightly and stared directly into my eyes. “Don’t ever doubt that your dreams aren’t worth the fight. It’s worth every struggle, every let down, and every victory until you get where you want to be.”

I lifted my head and smiled. Lexi was definitely the voice of my inspiration. “And where is it that I want to be?” I bore my gaze into her, hoping we wanted the same thing. Playing football and being with Lexi was all I wanted, all I needed.

“On that field playing for a pro team,” she declared. “Doing what you’re good at and what you love doing.”

I shot her a huge grin. “And don’t forget, being with the one I love.”

“You got that right.”

Embracing her, I said, “So, I guess until that happens, baby, it’s just you and me against the world.”

Σ

.

Chapter 34

We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.

~Maya Angelou

After breakfast, I called my mom and told her the news. Though she wasn’t happy about me not playing in the bowl game and the hearing, she was glad the odds sounded like they were in my favor. I asked if she wanted to go to the press conference but she opted to stay home and watch it on TV, assuring me she was a phone call away if I needed her. We also agreed calling Josh’s uncle would be wise, so after I hung up with her, I did just that.

He was expecting my call and already had his assistant, Steve, preparing a statement for me. We talked on the phone for an hour or so as I explained what happened. Based on the information he had, he felt my chances of remaining at the university and playing football were good. He promised he’d do whatever he could to fight on my behalf and informed me he’d be attending the press conference with me. With him by my side, I knew I’d be setting a favorable image to the fans, alumni, pro teams, and university.

“Are you sure it’s alright if I go?” Lexi slipped on her heels and then picked up a black blazer.

“Yes. Mr. Marshall assured me it was fine. Besides, he said he wants to talk to you.” I put on my suit jacket and adjusted the sleeves, making sure my cufflinks showed.

“To me?” She slipped one arm through the jacket and stopped. “Why does he want to talk with me?”

Concern filled her voice, telling me I needed to ease her worries.

“Relax.” I covered her shoulders with my hands. “He just wants to go over a few things with you.”

Her brows pushed together. “What if he asks me questions?”

“Answer them.” I slid my hands underneath her hair and fixed her collar. She looked beautiful in the white lace blouse that showed just enough cleavage. Paired with pink skinny jeans and black heels, she was hot. Her sweet scent surrounded me and I almost tossed her on the bed. Since Mr. Marshall was on his way and I had a press conference to attend, fun and games would have to wait. Once we were back, she was fair game.

“What do I say? I mean…is there anything I shouldn’t say?” She buttoned the next-to-top button on her blouse, covering her chest completely.

My fingers dropped to her chest and I undid the button. “I told him everything I told you.”

Lexi shot me a confused stare and started to button her shirt again, but I stopped her. “You look good like this.”

Glancing down at her chest, she looked back at me with a questioning gaze. “Are you sure? I don’t want to flash everyone.”

My poor girlfriend. Her mother had practically brainwashed her to keep everything concealed and covered. Regardless, she was beautiful, but it was my job to encourage her to step out of her comfort zone. At least for my benefit.

“Lexi. Lexi.” I laughed, planting a kiss on her forehead. “You’re not showing too much cleavage. Trust me. You look gorgeous.”

Her brows relaxed, but a trace of uncertainty remained. “Okay, if you say so.”

She turned to face the mirror, trying to confirm what I just told her. Her face looked a little thinner and her clothes were a little loose, but she was still gorgeous. Wrapping my arms around her, I embraced her from behind. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” I stared at her through the mirror.

She latched on to my arms and blinked heavily. “I’m sorry it took something like this to bring us back together.”

“Me, too,” I sighed.

Her lips turned upward in a smile. “Everything is going to turn out fine.”

“I hope you’re right, baby.” I pressed my cheek to hers and she reached up, cupping my face with her palm. Her soothing touch seemed to wash away all my worries, at least temporarily.

“Have some faith, Raven.”

My phone buzzed, vibrating against the dresser. We glanced and saw it was a message from Marshall Law Firm. I picked up my phone and swiped the screen. The message stated they had arrived at my apartment complex.

“They’re downstairs. You ready?” I asked, tucking my phone inside the pocket of my jacket.

“Yes, let’s go.”

Lexi grabbed her purse and we headed outside. A shiny, black Cadillac SUV was waiting for us. For a moment, I felt important, but then I remembered the circumstances I was facing and all sense of stardom left in a
whoosh
. Steve, Mr. Marshall’s assistant, promptly greeted us.

“Raven,” he extended a hand, “good to see you again.”

“Steve.” I shook his hand. He reminded me of the typical legal assistant, wearing round, black-framed glasses, navy-striped dress pants, and a white, button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Every time I saw the short, thirty-something year old, he wore practically the same thing.

“You must be Lexi.” Steve immediately acknowledged her presence.

“Yes, Lexi Thompson.” She shook his hand, looking him directly in the eyes.

“I’m Steve Langevin, Mr. Marshall’s assistant. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Steve opened the door and we got into the Cadillac. The SUV still had that new car smell mixed with a fresh scent of leather. Mr. Marshall was sitting in the front passenger seat. He turned as far as his stocky body would allow and extended his arm. “Raven.”

“Mr. Marshall.” We shook hands firmly. I turned toward Lexi. “This is my girlfriend, Lexi Thompson.”

Mr. Marshall stretched his neck, trying to look at her. His forehead creased and his face reddened as he struggled. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” There was no hiding his heavy Texas accent.

Lexi perched on the edge of her seat, leaning forward to make eye contact. “Nice to meet you, too.”

Steve slid into the driver’s seat and shut the door.

Mr. Marshall grunted as he turned back around and then grabbed the overhead handlebar, adjusting himself in his seat. “I had Steve prepare your statement. When you sit down with Coach Anderson, don’t be afraid to refer to it if you need to. It’s better to read it than to say something incorrectly.”

Steve handed me a brown folder. “Thank you.” I took the file from him and opened it. Cream-colored paper, embellished with the Marshal Law Firm, contained a neatly typed-out statement. I reviewed what Steve had prepared, not excited about what I had to confess in front of hundreds of thousands of people. There was no sugarcoating this situation. It was what it was and all I could do was hope for the best.

“Do you have any questions?”

“I think I’m good.” I closed the folder and set it next to me. “You’ve prepared me and I remember to say
no comment
when I’m not sure how to respond.”

“You learn quickly, son.” Mr. Marshall chuckled. “You’ll do just fine. And if things start to get out of control, I’ll step in as your advisor and attorney while Steve escorts you out of the room.”

“Sounds good.” I put on my seatbelt and motioned for Lexi to do the same. Steve pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main street. We passed the university and all I could think about was the fact that I may never play for PHU again. This press conference might be the last one I’d attend. A deep sadness crept over me, opening the doors for every demon to come in and remind me of my loser status. I tried to stand firm against them, but my defenses were down and I didn’t have the strength to battle them. This was going to whip my ass, but I had to do it.

“Now, as for you, Miss Thompson, I’d like to cover a few important rules.” Mr. Marshall cleared his throat a few times.

“Yes, of course, sir.” She might have agreed, but I heard the alarms going off in Lexi’s head.

“I’ve already advised Raven of what I’m about to tell you, but let it serve as a reminder to him as well. Watch what you post on all social media sites. It will come back to bite you in the ass and then we’re all screwed. When you’re three sheets to the wind with beer bottles in your hand, smiling half-naked for the camera, it makes my job ten times harder. I don’t want to have to figure out how the hell we’re going to get out of that situation.”

Lexi shot me a confused look and I knew what she was thinking, but I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. I hadn’t posted any nude photos of me on the web — unless being shirtless counts as nude. Lexi picked up her phone, as if ready to search Google for my guilty picture.

“Do you understand?”

“Um, yes, sir. I understand.” She held up her hands, still confused by his statement. I shrugged, showing her I was just as confused. “We’ll stay off social media sites.”

Mr. Marshall coughed a few times. “I don’t want you to disappear from them — especially Raven. He needs his fan support. So continue life as normal, just post pictures that show Raven on his best behavior.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, okay.”

“Raven, what do you think would be acceptable things to post?” Mr. Marshall asked, catching me off guard.

I looked to Lexi for some assistance.

“Maybe Raven working out at the gym?” she suggested, and I nodded in agreeance.

“Excellent. Show that he’s not giving up on his dream.”

“True.” I shot her a quick wink. This wasn’t that hard after all. “How about me with my family at dinner?”

“Good choice.” Mr. Marshall nodded his balding head. “Anything else you can think of?”

“Um, Lexi and me studying?”

Recalling some of our study sessions, I wasn’t sure if those pics would be appropriate. Seeing the expression on her face, she had to be thinking the same thing.

“Perfect!” Mr. Marshall lifted his hands. “Go to church with your family, take pictures with them. Go to some fundraisers. Hell, I’m invited to several every month. In fact, I’ll have Steve respond that you and Lexi will attend in my honor. Show that you’re cleaning up your act.”