A Dad for Her Twins (17 page)

Finally, she turned and left the room.

Oh, Lord, please let Cade love me
, she whispered as her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Cade sat through the night holding Eric, inhaling the delicate baby-powder scent, marveling at the perfection of two tiny hands and feet.

“Poor thing, you've got your father's nose,” he murmured when Eric blinked awake to return his stare. But it wasn't Max that Cade was thinking of. It was Abby. Beautiful Abby who'd suffered so much to give life to Eric and his brother.

“I love your mother,” he said to the baby. The relief of saying it aloud made him say it again. “I can't stand the thought of letting her go, or you or your brother. You belong here. This is your home.”

Eric didn't make a sound. He just kept watching Cade.

“This is a good place to live for a boy. You could learn to ride a horse. That's fun.”

Eric cooed.

“There are hills and valleys to explore. There's the creek to swim in when it gets hot. There's even a little log cabin where you could have sleepovers when you're older, if your mom will allow it.”

Eric sighed and closed his eyes. Cade did, too. He let himself dream of halcyon days with Abby at his side, watching the twins grow and change.

The Christian life is all about trust. Trusting God when it seems nothing's going right.
Jake's words from their last Bible study filled his mind.
The Bible says that with faith all things are possible.

“Is it possible that You want us to be together?” he asked hesitantly. “Is it possible that Abby and I could have a future?”

Trust.

How would he know until he opened his heart to Abby? She trusted God. She had faith. Together they could pray. After all, she'd said she loved him.

Trust.

Eric shifted in his arms, opened his mouth and let out a tiny sound that pierced straight to Cade's heart. How could he let this precious child go, never see him again, never be there if he was needed?

“I can't.” He made up his mind. “I will trust You to work it out. I'm going to tell Abby I love her. Your will be done.”

The decision brought Cade great peace. He wasn't the least tired as morning dawned and the sun peeked over the rims of the distant mountains. God had handled the adoption agency, bringing forward people to take over while Abby was busy with the babies. Things were progressing in spite of the fact that Cade had also been absent a lot as he prepared the ranch for sale.

God could handle the future. All Cade needed to do was trust.

Two hours later his cell phone rang, wakening him and Eric. The buyer wanted to proceed with purchasing the ranch.

Cade inhaled as the knowledge punched through to his heart. God didn't want a future for him with Abby. Or if He did, it was far different than Cade had hoped.

Very well. If God wanted him to sell, Cade would do that. And while he did, he'd try to trust and wait for God to show him the next step.

Chapter Fourteen

“H
asn't Ivor changed since he first arrived?” Abby said to Ed. “Look at him with his friends, running and laughing. I've never heard him so boisterous. It's good to see.”

She rose from the bench next to his chair to ensure the twins were still sleeping in the stroller she'd purchased with Ed's birthday-money gift. Cade's nightly interventions had made a huge difference in her energy level.

“The Double L seems to have changed all of us,” she said. “It's a beautiful place, especially in the spring.”

“My home,” Ed managed, his grin wide. After a moment it faded. “For now.”

“Your speech is so improved. Good for you for working so hard on it.” She patted his knee, then allowed her hand to envelop his when he grasped it.

“B-but my legs not good.” Ed's troubled gaze moved to where Cade was unloading hay bales. “That's why he's selling.”

“He loves you, Ed. He's trying to do his best for you.” Abby ached to find a way to reunite father and son but so far all she'd been able to do was listen to both sides. “The doctor says you need more intense physio—”

“Doesn't matter,” Ed interrupted, his face grim. “R-ranch more important.”

“Cade thinks you're more important.” She studied the old man's weathered face as he watched his son. Love, pride—they filled that blue-eyed gaze that was so like Cade's. “You love him, don't you, Ed?”

“Much,” he said, his gray head nodding. “C-couldn't tell him.”

“Why not? He needed to hear it so badly.”
Still does
, Abby thought, but she didn't say it, too intent on finally learning what had created this awful barrier between father and son.

“Loved her but God took her,” Ed blurted, his forehead perspiring with the effort of speaking so much. “If loved him too much,” he said, inclining his head in Cade's direction, “God take, too.”

“No! No way.” Abby realized she'd spoken too loudly when both Cade and Ivor glanced at her. Cade started to come toward them but she shook her head. Frowning he returned to work. “God isn't like that,” she insisted. “He doesn't steal the things or people we love. He loves me and He loves you. He wants you to love your son because God is love.”

Tears trickled down Ed's sun-wrinkled cheeks. “Angry,” he murmured.

“You were angry at God?” She squeezed his fingers. “I know. But God understood. He knows your pain, knows how much you missed your wife, how terrified you were to raise a child all by yourself,” she guessed and knew she was right when he nodded. “God knew all that and He loved you anyway.”

From the corner of her eye she saw Cade join in a game with Ivor and his friends, tossing a football that they raced over the fresh spring grass to catch. The ranch had changed Ivor and Cade's relationship, too. If only they could all stay here.

“Apologize,” Ed said. “Cade.” His tears fell more freely now.

“Yes, and you need to tell him you love him because he doesn't know. He thinks you hate him because his mother died giving birth to him.”

“No.” Ed's eyes widened. He shook his head. “No, no.”

“Then tell him that you love him. Make sure he knows that he's the most important person in your life.”

“Can't.” He stared at his hands. “Won't forgive.”

“Of course he will. I told you, Cade loves you. That's why he's trying to do his best for you. God loves you, too, Ed. So much.” Without asking permission, Abby bowed her head and prayed, asking God to reveal his forgiveness to Ed and to heal the breach with his son. When she was finished, she lifted her head and saw Ed's troubled gaze resting on Cade.

“Don't want the ranch sold,” he said slowly and clearly.

“I know.” She wrapped an arm around his shoulder and hugged him.

“It's home.”

“Yes,” she whispered, her gaze drawn again to the man she loved. “We have to keep praying.” The babies began crying. Ed touched her arm.

“Hold?” he asked, his blue eyes hopeful.

“Of course.” She lifted Eric from his blanket and laid him in Ed's arms. The old man's face filled with wonder as he gazed at the child.

“Looks good on you, Dad,” Cade called, loping toward them. His face creased in a grin. “You look like a grandpa.”

Ed lifted his head and stared at his son. “Home,” he said.

Cade shook his head.

“I know. I wish we could stay but selling the Double L will provide the care you need. I'm doing it to make sure you can get back your health.” Cade sighed. “I wish you could understand that if I could, I'd do anything else but sell this place. I know how much it means to you.”

Ed studied him for a long time. Then he motioned for Abby to take the baby. With his hands free, he reached out and took Cade's hands. “Forgive,” he said.

“What?” Cade glanced from him to Abby. “What do I need forgiveness for?”

“Cade, just listen, please.” Abby smiled to encourage him, then glanced at Ed. “Go on.”

“Forgive me. Treated you bad,” Ed said slowly, obviously working hard to say the words he needed. “Bad father. Afraid.”

“You were afraid?” Cade asked. He crouched in front of his father. “Why?”

In painstakingly slow speech, Ed explained his fear of God taking his son.

“Loved you,” he finished. “Loved. Always. Built fireplace for you so you'd come back, come home.”

Cade stayed immobile for a very long time. Then he leaned forward, and for what Abby was certain was probably the first time in his life, he hugged his father and Ed hugged him back. She felt like an intruder, in the way. She wanted to give them some privacy, but a moment later Cade enveloped her in an embrace from which she had no desire to be freed.

“You did this,” he murmured in her ear. “I have no idea how, but I know you did it. Thank you.”

“It's Ed, not me. He loves you. He doesn't want you to sell the ranch. You share this legacy.” Abby did everything she could to make him see. “This is where you belong, Cade. If you could just trust a little longer—”

“Abby, I've only had one solid offer. There aren't a lot of people who can raise the cash to buy a place like this.” His forehead pleated as he let go of her and rose. “I don't have another choice.”

“All I'm asking you to do is wait, don't rush into anything. It would mean so much to Ed,” she added. “This ranch has been his home for a long time.”

“I know. But the money is too good. Dad will have everything he needs.” He glanced around, then his gaze returned to her. “It's my home, too, and you've helped me realize how much I love it. I hate giving up all the plans I had for the Double L but I don't see any other way.”

“If you waited—” Abby stopped when Cade shook his head.

“I've given up on dreaming that some kind of intervention will happen. This is reality. I'm only sorry it hurts you so much.” He said the last to his father, then turned and walked back to his bales.

“I'm sorry, Ed,” Abby whispered, witnessing the devastation on his leathery face.

“No.” Ed straightened. A new resolve filled his eyes so like Cade's. “Son back. God forgives. All good.”

But it wasn't. Abby felt as though everything was falling apart around her and she could do nothing to stop it. Worst of all, when the ranch sold she'd have nowhere to go, no place to take her babies. If something went wrong with Cade's latest plan to raise funds for the adoption agency, she'd have no job, either.

Then how would she care for the twins?

Lord?
she whispered when Ed returned to the house, leaving her to enjoy the spring afternoon.
What are You doing?

* * *

“You did it.” Two weeks later Abby gazed at Cade, her big emerald eyes wide, her voice hushed. “You got them to release my money.”

“Some of it,” he reminded. “At least you're no longer destitute and it represents a commitment on their part to follow through with what they owe.”

“It's a lot of money, at least for me.” She stared at the check, then held it out. “Use it for Ed's care. Keep the ranch.”

“Your responsibility is to provide a home for the twins, Abby.” Cade loved her for the gesture but he shook his head. “You have to use your money for that.”

She looked so lovely sitting on the garden bench, the climbing rose vines leafing out behind her. The soft spring air played with the few tendrils of hair she hadn't caught up in a green-checkered bow.

“There's a place in town that might be suitable to rent until your plans firm up,” he said.

“I could stay here,” she whispered, watching him.

“There's nothing to stay for,” he said, and clenched his jaw against the pain. “The new owners will take over in a month. We'll all have to leave then.”

Abby being Abby frowned at him but he knew she hadn't given up. His spirit sighed with relief when she changed the subject.

“What's happening with the adoption agency? You haven't said much.” She tilted her head to one side. “Is there a reason for that?”

“Things have come to a halt while I've been sorting out terms on the ranch sale,” he told her. “I'll get back on it soon.”

“I'd like to help,” she said, her smile lighting up her eyes. “But as you say, for now I have to focus on the twins.” She giggled. “And getting some sleep. You've been so helpful. I don't know how I'll manage on my own.”

“The kids are settling down.” Cade hated that the twins would no longer be there for him to check on, protect and watch over. He hated it even more that he would no longer be able to help out Abby.

The thought that she might need him and he wouldn't be there plagued him.

“Maybe I could come over some afternoons and take them out while you rest,” he offered.

Despite his determination to remain objective, the twins had nestled into a special spot in his heart. Right next to Abby.

“Come anytime.” She smiled, then sobered. “I guess I should go look at this rental house.”

From then on, things moved way too fast for Cade. Abby rented the house, he moved in her few belongings and added others from the ranch house, including a crib his father had mentioned storing in an outbuilding.

“He said it was once mine.” Cade showed her the teeth marks on one side. “I restored it as best I could but I couldn't completely erase those.”

“It's perfect,” she told him.

Her hand reached for his and Cade automatically enfolded it as they stood staring at the twins, one nestled in the cradle from Boris, the other in the crib. At least he'd been able to provide a bed for them.

“I wish I didn't have to leave the ranch,” Abby said in a soft voice. “I love it here, Cade.”

He slid his hand free.

“Do you want me to leave?” she asked. If she only knew how much he wanted her to stay.

“Staying wouldn't work.” How he hated saying that.

“Because you won't trust God,” she murmured. “But I do. I trust Him with my life. You need to, too, because God is going to work things out, Cade. You'll see.”

After filling her pantry, Cade returned to the ranch. But nothing was the same. Her lilting voice wasn't there to tease him about being late for dinner, the babies didn't call out for him in the night and Abby didn't share the early sunrises as she had for the past weeks.

Why don't You do something?
Cade prayed as he rode the ranch, checking on his stock and the new arrivals that filled his pastures.
Why can't You work this out?

But he found no response.

Life on the ranch no longer brought Cade the joy it once had. Watching the place burst with new life, working with the animals—it was a bittersweet time. At least every five minutes he questioned whether he was doing the right thing or not. But when he came home one afternoon and found his father sprawled on the floor, too weak to get back in his chair, Cade knew selling was the only option.

Oddly enough, Ed didn't seem fazed by his fall. In fact, he told Cade to bring him ropes and had him rig up a workout station outside in which he could cling to the ropes while walking around them. The first day he barely made it three steps. But Ed persisted, humming songs Cade vaguely remembered from his Sunday school days, songs of faith and promise. Cade didn't see any progress but that didn't seem to bother Ed.

Was Cade the only one who didn't trust God?

And then the worst possible thing happened. The painter they'd finally been able to hire to redo the windows at Family Ties found asbestos in the paint on the sills. The building could not be entered, let alone used for anything, until remediation was complete. Wanda phoned to tell him she could not afford to pay for that. Everything was on hold.

Cade could hardly bear to tell Abby the news.

* * *

“You're saying I won't be able to work there.” Devastation washed over her face. “So I don't have a job and I don't have enough of my money to cover the cost for repairs. I'm some partner.”

“Nobody can go in,” he told her. “It's too dangerous. The dream of an adoption agency opening in this town is dead.”

“Don't say that!” She glared at him, both hands on her hips. “You may be finished but God isn't. He still has a plan and His will is going to be done. I know you won't believe that and because you don't you'll miss out on the best God has in store for you. You won't even believe in me.”

“Abby, I can't wait around hoping—”

“Faith is believing God will do what is right,” she said, dashing away the tears that spilled down her cheeks. “It's a choice you have to make, Cade. Either you'll trust and believe God's doing His best for you, or you push along your own path, trying to manage everything by yourself.”