A Clean Break (Gay Amish Romance Book 2) (14 page)

They kissed softly, and David rubbed Isaac’s nose with his own.

Isaac leaned his head on David’s shoulder. “I’m sure the preachers would disagree, but I think it must have been God’s plan for me to go and work for you. So we could find each other. I wish I could tell my parents the truth and try to make them understand that. But it’s impossible.”

David wasn’t even sure he could truly believe it was God’s plan. He
wanted
to believe it, but… “They’re all at church right now. I think it’s Atlee Yoder’s house this time. I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since we ran out of the service. It feels like yesterday, but also a hundred years. You know what I mean?”

“I feel the same way. Like part of me is surprised we’re not there, but the other part can’t believe we ever were.”

Glancing at the red glowing numbers on the clock beside him, David added two hours to the time. “They’re probably in the middle of the long sermon. I bet it’ll be Bishop Yoder doing it today. He’ll probably have a lot to say after what we’ve done.”

Straightening up, Isaac grimaced. “I can’t say I miss the sermons at all.” He rolled his head against the soft headboard. “Or sitting on those benches for hours on end until my back ached so bad I could almost cry. Sometimes Mervin would try to make me laugh.” He sighed. “I guess he’s glad I’m gone now.”

“Do you think he might tell them the truth?”

Isaac’s forehead creased, and he was quiet for a moment. “No. Even though he thinks it’s wrong, he’ll keep his promise.” He picked up David’s hand and played with his fingers. “Even though we could visit, I feel like I can’t ever go back, David. That it would just make it all worse somehow. Everyone would try to convince us to stay.”

“I know.” The longing to see Mother and his sisters again swelled in him, and he turned on his side toward Isaac, tossing away the pad of paper and drawing him down onto the mattress. He slid his palm under Isaac’s shirt to rest on his belly.

Isaac skimmed his fingertips up and down David’s forearm. “Do you think it’ll be better or worse to go to church here?”

David considered it. “This is the first time I’ve missed church aside from that winter the flu had half the town sick as dogs. I know it’s a sin, but I can’t say I’m sorry to be in bed with you now instead.”

Isaac smiled tenderly. “Me either. Aaron said we could try other churches here, but I don’t know what God would think. If we aren’t plain, we’re already not doing it right. I said my prayers this morning, but I forgot yesterday. I didn’t think about it until hours later.”

“I think it’s because we don’t have a routine. Once you start school and I’m working again, I’m sure we’ll be better.”

“I’m sure.” Isaac jiggled not only his foot, but practically the entire bed.

“What is it? Nervous about school?” David was certainly nervous about going to look at potential workspaces. As eager as he was to get back to his carpentry, there was so much to consider and organize. He kept thinking
tomorrow
. He wished there was a magic wand like the ones in the movie they’d watched the night before.

“What if—” Isaac blew out a heavy breath. “What if no one likes me?”

“Impossible.”

Smiling, Isaac rolled his eyes and nudged David with his foot. “Come on.”

“I’m serious. Everyone will like you. You’re smart, and kind, and you learn quickly. You’re a good listener, and you see the possibilities in the world. An ideal student.”

“Maybe you can come with me tomorrow and tell them that. You’re very convincing.”

“Your father asked once what I thought of you.” David slowly circled his hand on Isaac’s bare stomach under his shirt. “It was a Sunday, I’m sure. Out by the barn, waiting for church to begin.”

In his mind, David could hear the clatter of buggies arriving in the damp morning. The whinnies of the horses, and the quiet rumble of the men talking. He’d been watching for Isaac, hoping to spot him before the service.

“When was this?” Isaac asked, a smile playing at his lips.

“A week or two after you came to work with me. I was already having such lustful thoughts for you, and I must have blushed as red as an apple when he asked. But that’s what I told him—you were an ideal student. He seemed pleased—he even smiled. He was proud of you.”

“I wonder what he thinks of me now,” Isaac whispered. “Or if he’s already forgetting me, like he did Aaron.”

David continued his circles on Isaac’s stomach, focusing on the warmth of Isaac’s belly to keep the tension at bay. “Do you think it would ever cross their minds? That the reason we left together is because we’re…together? I can’t imagine my mother would even think of such a thing. No one ever talks about it—not even the preachers really. It’s like being gay just doesn’t exist.”

Isaac tangled their feet together. “Like
we
don’t exist. The real us, I mean.” He sighed. “I don’t think my parents would suspect it. Aside from Anna, I don’t know if anyone has.”

David bolted upright with a spike of adrenaline. “
Anna?
Anna doesn’t know. She can’t.”

“Actually, I think she does.” Isaac squeezed David’s leg.

David leaned against the headboard and jerked his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself. Every conversation with his sister from the past months reeled through his mind. “But…”

Isaac sat and folded his hands in his lap, fiddling with his fingernails. His foot jiggled again. “I’m sorry to upset you.”

“I’m not…I…” He forced air into his lungs. “Why do you think she knows?”

“You said yourself nothing gets by her. The day we had church at my house, when I was helping your mother up the ramp? She asked if I could drive Mary and Anna home from the next singing since you’d be taking Grace.” He swallowed hard, his gaze returning to his hands. “The way Anna looked at me… I just knew. She was so sad for me.”

Nausea seethed in his gut, and David rested his forehead on his knees. “I can’t imagine how you felt hearing that.” He could, though.
Devastated. Heartbroken. Hollow
. “I hated pretending. I never should have. Not then, after everything between us.” When Isaac’s fingers brushed through his hair, David leaned into the touch.

“I felt like the time I got kicked by Abram Lapp’s mule.”

“Please forgive me.” David lifted his head. “I never wanted to hurt you, but I knew I was hurting you all the same. I was weak.”

Isaac’s eyes glistened. “We’re all weak sometimes.”

“Never again. Not when it comes to you.” David pulled Isaac into his arms, murmuring into his new short hair. “Never.”

Isaac held on tightly. “Of course I forgive you. Always, my David.”

Their lips met, and everything else was forgotten as David tasted Isaac, breathing him in with a familiar heady rush as they stretched out, bodies entwining and tongues seeking. Moving on top of him, David licked and kissed down the column of Isaac’s neck as he rolled his hips.

He loved the sensation of Isaac beneath him, eager and responsive, making little noises in his throat that sent blood rushing straight to David’s cock and left his head light.

“Do you think it’s worse?” Isaac asked breathlessly, tugging at David’s clothing. “To do this on a Sunday when we should be worshipping at church?”

David pushed himself up on one arm. He raked his eyes over Isaac—flushed cheeks and his wet lips parted, his eyes already dark with desire and his hair sticking up where he’d slid down the pillows. David shoved up the hem of Isaac’s tee until it bunched around his neck.

He ran his fingers around Isaac’s nipples and through the light hair scattered over his chest. Then down over his quivering stomach, drinking in the way Isaac’s breath caught as David dipped into his bellybutton and teased the hair below his waistband. Isaac’s cock tented his sweatpants, and David knew he wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

“I want to worship
you
,” he whispered. Isaac was beautiful and good, and David wanted him to know it.

Groaning, Isaac dragged David’s head down for a hard kiss as he spread his legs and wrapped them around David’s hips. Isaac gasped, “It doesn’t feel wrong. Does it?”

David could only shake his head, desperate for them to be naked so he could experience the heat and sweat of Isaac’s body against him. Since that first night among the trees with loyal Kaffi standing guard, touching Isaac—
loving
Isaac—had only ever felt right despite everything.

Not only because of how good it made David’s body feel, but in the way it reached into his soul through every pore. In every shared moan and smile, in every tremble of limbs and press of lips, he was whole.

They tore off their clothes, and with Isaac on top of him now, David thrust into Isaac’s hand, moaning at the friction that sent goose bumps over his skin. He ran his knuckles down Isaac’s cheek. “There are so many things I want to do with you.”

Isaac jerked his head in a nod, his voice already gone a little hoarse. “There’s something I saw once in a magazine Mervin and Mark showed me. It was a man and a woman, but…I think it would work the same. And…I looked it up on the computer on my phone.” He shuddered. “There were pictures, and descriptions.”

“Yes. Anything.” David was so hard in Isaac’s grasp, and he slid his fingers between Isaac’s ass cheeks, teasing his hole. He thought of the magazine he’d bought at the gas station near Zebulon, and how he’d pored over every word and picture, memorizing what the men did to each other before burning the glossy pages behind the barn one morning before the rooster woke.

“I want to…” Isaac licked his lips. “I…”

“Say it,” David urged. “Tell me. You can say anything in here.”

“I want to suck on your cock,” Isaac blurted. “And I want you to suck mine at the same time. I want you to come in my mouth, and—” He inhaled sharply.

“
Yes!
” David could barely get the word out as he pushed at Isaac, urging him to turn.

As Isaac’s thighs straddled David’s neck and his beautiful ass filled David’s vision, he felt the slick glide of Isaac’s mouth swallowing him. He gasped, fighting the urge to buck up. It felt different to have Isaac above him this way, the sensations somehow new, as though Isaac was taking him deeper than before. For a moment, he could only revel in it, panting.

Then he guided Isaac’s cock to his lips, nuzzling at his balls and teasing with his tongue. It was awkward trying to coordinate their movements, but soon they found a stuttering sort of rhythm. The sensations overwhelmed him—incredible pleasure as Isaac surrounded him with his mouth and body, and the salty flavor of Isaac throbbing between his lips, his musky scent filling David’s nose.

It felt as though they were two parts of the same being, sucking wetly at each other’s cocks, their grunts and moans loud in the morning stillness. The sunlight streamed into the room like a blessing.

David closed his eyes, his fingers tight on Isaac’s thighs. Isaac was so thick and hot in his mouth, and David inhaled through his nose. Sweat dampened their skin everywhere they touched. His lips stretched over Isaac’s shaft, the foreskin pushed down, and he felt so gloriously full.

When Isaac rolled David’s balls with his hand, David didn’t have time to bark a warning. His mouth was stuffed with Isaac’s cock anyway, and he moaned around it as he came, his hips jerking up. His toes curled and he squeezed his eyes shut as the incredible intensity swelled through him. Isaac swallowed, coughing a bit, and David could feel some of it dripping back down. Isaac licked at it, and David whimpered around his cock.

Squirming, David found a better angle, and he urged Isaac to rock his hips. With harsh little pants, Isaac fucked into David’s mouth. David took every thrust, relaxing his throat as much as he could, Isaac’s pubic hair tickling his face. For a moment it felt like too much, and his mind screamed that he needed air. But he got in a breath, and his racing pulse calmed.

“David—oh, oh!” Isaac mumbled.

David wished he could see Isaac’s face as Isaac fucked his mouth with abandon. David was filled with him—taste and sight and smell, and his jaw ached. When Isaac pulsed into his throat, David swallowed convulsively, milking him until Isaac pulled away and flopped to his side, chest heaving.

Isaac’s feet were by David’s head, and David nuzzled his ankles when he caught his breath. “If you have any other ideas, I’m all ears.”

Laughing, Isaac shimmied and crawled up the right way around. Lying on their sides, they kissed messily, and David loved their taste mixed together on his tongue. Isaac idly stroked David’s calf with his foot, and David felt boneless and at peace. He knew he didn’t deserve it, but he thanked God all the same.

This must be what heaven’s like
.

David hadn’t realized he’d spoken aloud until Isaac brushed their lips together and murmured, “We may never get there, but we’ll always have this.”

As David kissed the hollow of Isaac’s throat,
this
felt like everything he’d ever need.

At the sound of his name, David almost fell off the couch.

Laughing, Aaron raised his hands. “Whoa, whoa. It’s just me. I wasn’t sure if I should wake you, but I want to get an order in for dinner. Don’t feel like cooking anything tonight. Do you want to try Thai food, or stick to pizza?” He loosened his tie and undid the top button of his shirt.