1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (84 page)

633

FACT :
In 1976, only 16 percent of Americans said they believed in ghosts.

By 2000,
that number had risen to 33 percent
.
In related news, idiots are breeding faster than nonidiots.

Peter Strupp and Alan Dingman, Fat, Dumb, and Ugly: The Decline of the Average American (Simon & Schuster, 2004).

634

FACT :
Research shows that the average American has one more hour of free time every day than he did in 1965, but spends
40 percent less time
with his children now.

That’s why they call it free time.

Peter Strupp and Alan Dingman. Fat, Dumb, and Ugly: The Decline of the Average American (Simon & Schuster, 2004).

635

FACT : Seventy percent of Americans
cannot identify the source of the phrase, “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

But then, not everyone watches Superman.

Peter Strupp and Alan Dingman, Fat, Dumb, and Ugly: The Decline of the Average American (Simon & Schuster, 2004).

636

FACT :
Twenty-eight million Americans use indoor tanning booths every year. Perhaps it is no coincidence, then, that the
per capita rate for melanoma has increased
by 100 percent in the last thirty years.
Well, tanning beds do look a lot like coffins.

Peter Strupp and Alan Dingman, Fat, Dumb, and Ugly: The Decline of the Average American (Simon & Schuster, 2004).

637

FACT :
Thanks to technology like TV screens in grocery stores and airports, cell phone videos, and digital movie libraries, the average American sees
sixty-one minutes of ads and promotions
on television every day.
That’s still not enough to make me want to eat at McDonald’s or drive a Ford.

Brian Stelter, “Eight Hours a Day Spent on Screens, Study Finds,” New York Times, March 26, 2009,
www.nytimes.com
.

638

FACT :
From 1997 to 1998, the The National Rifle Association, America’s largest gun rights lobby,
gave $1.3 million to Republican candidates
for federal offices and $285,700 to Democrat candidates.

Handgun Control, Inc., the largest gun-control lobby in the United States, gave about $137,000 to Democrats and $9,500 to Republicans.
Guns don’t kill people. Gun lobbies kill people.

“Gun Control,” Just Facts,
www.justfacts.com
.

639

FACT :
The Brady Bill and Assault Weapons Ban were enacted in 1993. In the five years that followed,
nine school shooting massacres occurred
.
I guess the “ban” is still a work in progress.

“Gun Control,” Just Facts,
www.justfacts.com
.

640

FACT :
Studies show that American presidential speeches today are geared to
the comprehension level of an average seventh grader
. Fifty years ago, presidents spoke to Americans at a twelfth-grade level.
From 2001 to 2008, former president George W. Bush spoke to Americans at a first-grade level.

Rick Shenkman, Just How Stupid Are We?: Facing the Truth About the American Voter (PublicAffairs, 2009).

641

FACT :
Just five days before the 2008 election,
23 percent of Texans
still believed—erroneously—that Barack Obama was Muslim.
I could make an entire chapter on screwy things that Texans believe.

Richard S. Dunham, “UT Poll Shows McCain, Cornyn with Comfortable Margins,” Houston Chronicle, October 29, 2008,
www.chron.com
.