1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (19 page)

113

FACT :
Human saliva helps keep the mouth’s pH balance slightly alkaline.

If it didn’t, the mouth would create an
acidic environment that would rot away your teeth
.
If the acid is that strong, you won’t need teeth.

Kathleen McGowan, “The Biology of . . . Saliva,” Discover, October 2005,
www.discovermagazine.com
.

114

FACT :
There are
over 700 species of bacteria
that thrive in the thirty-three square inches of the average mouth, making it the most unsanitary part of your entire body.
Surely the rectum runs a close second.

“Grossology Gross Facts,” Denver Museum of Natural Science,
www.dmns.org
.

115

FACT :
The types of bacteria in the human mouth
vary among the world’s population
. North Americans, South Americans, and Swedes harbor different bacteria.
I think I need to swap spit with a Swedish woman so we can compare bacteria.

Kathleen McGowan, “The Biology of . . . Saliva,” Discover, October 2005,
www.discovermagazine.com
.

116

FACT :
When full, the bladder expands to roughly
the same size as a softball
.
But it feels like a basketball. Made of lead.

Truman Hedding, “Nineteen Things You Didn’t Know About The Human Body,”
www.trumanhedding.com
.

117

FACT :
By the time you’re an adult, you’re likely to have
about 5 million hairs
growing out of your skin—the same number as a gorilla.
Or Robin Williams.

“Human Hair,” Discovery Channel,
http://.yucky.discovery.com
.

118

FACT :
Male testicles create
10 million new sperm cells
every day, enough to repopulate the planet in just six months.
Some men try, too.

Robert Dolezal, Reader’s Digest Book of Facts (Readers Digest, 1987).

119

FACT :
Being “scared to death” can happen. The body’s protective mechanism, the fight-or-flight response, pumps adrenaline into the blood, causing the nervous system to increase blood flow to muscles, dilate the pupils and, in some cases, evacuate the bowels. But
adrenaline is toxic in large amounts
and can cause death if it floods the heart unchecked.
So being “scared shitless” isn’t just hyperbole, either.

Coco Ballantyne, “Can a person be scared to death?” Scientific American, January 30, 2009,
www.sciam.com
.

120

FACT :
Strong positive or negative emotions— ecstasy, grief, excitement—
can lead to sudden cardiac death
via ventricular fibrillation (irregular heartbeat), as in the case of people who have died during sexual intercourse or when frightened.
Or when frightened during sexual intercourse, which happens more often than you might think. At least it does to me.

Coco Ballantyne, “Can a person be scared to death?” Scientific American, January 30, 2009,
www.sciam.com
.

121

FACT :
A study in Germany found an
increase in sudden cardiac death on
days that the German soccer team was playing in the World Cup championship.
If they ever win one, that number will go up, as thousands more Germans will die of shock.

Coco Ballantyne, “Can a person be scared to death?” Scientific American, January 30, 2009,
www.sciam.com
.

122

FACT :
Some people are born with
extra nipples (polythelia) or even extra breasts (polymastia)
. Extra or “accessory” breasts are most commonly found in the armpits, but can develop anywhere along mammary ridges, which extend from the armpits to the upper thighs.
And, by the way, we still don’t know why men have a mammary ridge, just that they do. “I have nipples, Focker. Are you gonna milk me?”—
Meet the Parents
.