1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (15 page)

Associated Press, “With This Herring I Thee Wed,”
MSNBC.com
, Jan. 3, 2006,
www.msnbc.msn.com
.

85

FACT :
To fight loneliness, one Navy wife in Georgia
purchased a mannequin dressed like a sailor
in 2005 to stand in for her husband, who was serving at sea. The woman takes the mannequin to dinner, movies, and shopping.
Okay, if your wife can replace you with a mannequin and be happy, you must be one boring motherfucker.

“Navy Wife Finds a New Man-Nequin,”
MSNBC.com
, December 14, 2005,
www.msnbc.msn.com
.

86

FACT :
A prominent cause of divorce among older Japanese couples is “
retired husband syndrome
.” Doctors first described the syndrome when wives began showing irritability, ulcers, rashes, and other stress symptoms when made to manage their recently retired husbands who have nothing to do but bark orders at them all day long.
By the time you read this, “retired husband syndrome” will have been renamed “dead retired husband syndrome.”

“Retired Husband Syndrome,” ABC News, January 11, 2006,
http://abcnews.go.com
.

87

FACT :
A gunshot wound in his leg didn’t keep a Tampa, Florida pizza delivery man from finishing his rounds in 2005. Dedication to his work compelled Thomas Stefanelli to deliver four more pizzas before calling for help after
being shot in a robbery attempt
.
Tom came in second in the Employee Of The Year contest, edged out by a co-worker who refused bathroom access to a guy who wasn’t a paying customer.

Associated Press, “Bullet Won’t Stop This Pizza Delivery Man,”
MSNBC.com
, June 8, 2005,
www.msnbc.msn.com
.

88

FACT :
Purdue University researchers say most drivers have no problem exceeding the speed limit by
up to 20 mph
and see no risk in doing so.
You know who will be glad to hear this? Sammy Hagar.

Keith Barry, “Study Shows Drivers Feel Free to Ignore Speed Limits.”
Wired.com
, November 14, 2008,
www.wired.com
.

89

FACT :
Trichotillomania is a behavioral disorder that makes people
rip their own hair out
, pulling it from the scalp, eyebrows, eyelashes, and more, with bald patches as result. The condition affects as many as 9 million Americans; 90 percent of adult sufferers are women.
All of them mothers, I bet.

“What Is Compulsive Hair Pulling?,” Trichotillomania Learning Center,
www.trich.org
.

90

FACT :
Chronic skin picking (CSP) is a serious but largely misunderstood human behavioral problem.
CSP sufferers obsessively pick, scratch, and rub their skin,
often in an attempt to remove small irregularities or perceived imperfections. This behavior can result in skin discoloration, scarring, or even severe tissue damage.
Chronic nit-picking (CNP) is a serious but largely tolerated human behavioral problem. CNP sufferers obsessively pick, nag, harangue, and correct others, particularly spouses, children, and coworkers, often in an attempt to remove small irregularities or perceived imperfections.

“What Is Chronic Skin Picking?,” Trichotillomania Learning Center,
www.trich.org
.

91

FACT :
People who have borderline personality disorder (BPD) suffer from mood instability, troubled personal relationships, and an inability to control their emotions and impulses. BPD affects up to
10 percent of all patients under psychiatric care
.
And about 80 percent of psychiatrists giving that care.

Andreas Meyer-Lindenberg, “The Roots of Problem Personalities,” Scientific American, April 2009,
www.sciam.com
.

“Borderline Personality Disorder,” National Institute Of Mental Health,
www.nimh.nih.gov
.

92