You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults With Attention Deficit Disorder (7 page)

The Wandering Mind Syndrome

Most of us have minds that wander hither and yon. We daydream and drift among loosely and tenuously connected thoughts. As our own thoughts intrude, we change the subject and interrupt with irrelevant comments.

Regardless of the “why” of distractibility, the
behaviors associated with it are often mistaken for rudeness or eccentricity. The wandering mind syndrome, like all ADD differences, has its pluses and minuses.

On the minus side, an ADDer might engage in mental free flight when he should be working. Bosses regard his partially finished reports and unreturned phone calls as evidence of incompetence or a poor attitude. In conversations he may
listen with one ear but continue on some level to follow his own train of thought. It’s obvious to his boss or friend that he isn’t
all there
. His seeming uninterest doesn’t win friends or influence people!

On the plus side, he can use his wandering mind to notice things others miss and make new and interesting connections between ideas. His creative mind can roam beyond convention into imagination
and possibilities.

If an ADDer can learn to control his wandering thoughts and capitalize on their richness, he can discover a valuable asset. Think about the stereotype of the absentminded professor or the talented artist who has incredible gifts but stumbles along
trying to manage the practical details of life. We don’t believe this stereotype is merely a myth. If we were to survey individuals
in creative professions, we feel sure we would find a disproportionate number of ADD adults.

One-Channel Operational System

Most of us are equal opportunity attenders. We give everything and anything the opportunity to grab our attention! An ineffective filtering system makes us vulnerable to distracting stimuli in the environment and in our minds and bodies.

It’s hard to get things done when
you keep thinking about and responding to so many different things. The quality of the work you do manage to accomplish is often marginal because your focus is interrupted so much. Although some ADDers are able to juggle several things at once, many find this difficult, if not impossible.

To accomplish anything, many of us have to operate on only one channel. Let’s use the metaphor of channels
on a radio to understand the dynamics of one-channel operation.

During a drive through the mountains, you may have to simultaneously listen to several stations as they fade in and out. You may spend a lot of time hitting the scan button, which is supposed to bring in the strongest channel. No sooner do you happily start singing along with your favorite song than it fades out as a stronger signal
takes over your radio.

The normal brain doesn’t seem to have trouble with channel selection. When a non-ADDer prepares dinner, he selects the
food
channel. He can attend to this strong signal and cook the food without burning it. At the same time, his brain scans and locates other strong signals that bring in important information. He monitors the
children
channel and switches to it when a sibling
argument arises.

An ability to tune in several channels simultaneously is useful and essential. The radio in the ADD brain, however, seems to
have a malfunctioning scan button that won’t let him switch channels efficiently. Rather than pulling in the strong signal, it pulls in every channel within a thousand-mile radius! He keeps losing track of the channel he’s listening to.

For many of us,
the solution is to turn off the scan button. It’s the only way to prevent the weak channels from interfering with our attention to the one we’re trying to listen to. So we stay tuned in to only one channel. If we dare switch to the children channel, the pork chops become dried-out, hardened objects permanently attached to the pan we cooked them in!

We think the one-channel phenomenon has implications
for kitchen designers. They really should take a crash course in ADD. If they were aware of this phenomenon, they would never design kitchens with large, open spaces for preparing dinner and chatting with guests at the same time. It may be a great concept for non-ADDers. For one-channel folk, however, this kitchen design results in lousy food or lousy conversation. Handling both at the same
time is virtually
Mission Impossible!

This difference causes undesirable behaviors in a one-channel ADDer. Demands to switch channels are cruel intrusions. He snaps at the interrupting party, snarls at the person on the phone or loses track of what he’s doing. He may tune out the interruption, not even noting it or reacting v-e-r-y slowly to it as he undertakes the arduous task of switching gears.

KK:
“When I worked on a psychiatric unit, I shared the responsibility for answering the telephone. I had trouble switching gears fast enough to pick up the phone after a few rings. Often, I never heard it ring at all. Other staff members resented my failure to do my share of this job. They mistakenly assumed I thought I was ‘too good’ to do this mundane task.”

An ADDer can be at a disadvantage
in the workplace when he has to tune in to many channels. The
phone, boss
and
coworker
channels all compete for his attention. Many workers complain
that numerous interruptions force them to bring most of their work home. They can’t get anything done at the office.

The Locking-In and Blocking-Out Phenomena

An interesting correlate to the one-channel phenomenon is over-persistence. When an ADDer
becomes locked in to a task, he can’t stop. His overpersistence can make switching gears very difficult. It can also cause a friend, colleague or spouse to leap to erroneous conclusions: (1) “It’s obvious he can pay attention when he wants to.” (2) “He’s so rude! He completely ignores me.”

Erratic focus and the general dysregulation that cause problems with concentration and stick-to-itiveness
seem incompatible with overpersistence. Aren’t unfinished tasks and short attention spans characteristic of ADDers? Well, the paradoxical answer is yes … and no!

Much of ADD behavior is paradoxical. Overpersistence could be just another difference that is at odds with a “short attention span.” But we submit that it’s more than that. An ADDer expends great energy and effort to shut out the distractions
of other channels. With an unfiltered sensory world rushing into his brain, he has to develop some rather powerful defenses to survive. Overpersistence may be one of them.

An ADD adult may deliberately use this locking-in ability to shut out the rest of the world. It can insulate him from the wear and tear of handling the flood of incoming information. A one-channel ADDer may use his overpersistence
as a compensatory strategy in a society that values the ability to bounce many balls at one time.

There may be another reason for overpersistence: Comorbid Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). It is not uncommon for the ADD adult to have symptoms of OCD as well. Even in the absence of the compulsive, ritualistic behavioral component of OCD, obsessive thought patterns may be at work, causing
excessive
rumination. The inner experience is of having thoughts seemingly captured on a short loop of a tape recording—one that replays itself over and over on a recorder that has no Stop function.

Overpersistence is definitely a double-edged sword. Spouses and friends marvel at the ability to sit at a computer and write for hours, oblivious of everything else. Envy of this self-absorption turns to annoyance,
however, when rain pours unnoticed through open windows or the tornado siren evokes not even a blink!

The good news is that this disability/ability difference can be used to good advantage. The bad news is that locking-in can be inappropriate, counterproductive or downright dangerous in certain situations. Remember the tornado siren—locking in to the computer instead of racing for the basement
could have disastrous consequences!

The “I Hate Details” Dynamic

Many of us have an aversion to details. An inability to scan and switch channels plays into this aversion. To scan for details, we have to attend to numerous pieces of data. We find that our brains are uncooperative when we try to absorb many details simultaneously. We may forget much of what we see or hear. When we try to remember
sequential details, we can lose the first step before we can assimilate the second. Our preference for the gestalt (the big picture) over miscellaneous details may in part result from this difficulty with data processing.

The “Don’t Do Today What You Can
Put Off Till Tomorrow” Dynamic

Many people live by this creed. Requesting several extensions on a federal income tax filing can put off this
onerous task as long as possible. But we’re not talking about a conscious decision to procrastinate. We’re talking about the frustration many of us feel every time we try to get started on anything.

What appears to be stalling or an apparent unwillingness to do something is often a sign of the superhuman effort required to begin concentrating on a new task. Refocusing is painful. It takes a lot
of blood, sweat and tears. Although an ADDer may do well after he gets going, he has to work hard to shut out the rest of the world and turn off the other channels. It’s possible to become more efficient at self-starting but it takes time and self-discipline to learn this skill.

A Defective Filter

Another brain function that goes awry in ADD is the filtering mechanism. A brain that is working
at peak efficiency can select what it needs to concentrate on and filter out extraneous distractions. It works much like the oil filter in a car. It filters out the dirty, useless particles so the engine can operate efficiently with clean oil. Coffee filters perform a similar function, preventing the bitter grounds from getting mixed in with the liquid.

A defective filter permits the “grounds
to get mixed up with the coffee.” An ADDer experiences the world as a barrage to his senses—noises, sights and smells rush in without barriers or protection. Normal noise levels can interfere with his ability to hear conversations or maintain a train of thought.

Even in a relatively quiet restaurant, background noises compete for attention and interfere with the ability to listen to the server.
During a telephone call, the ADDer may snap at a spouse who makes the slightest noise in the room. Unfiltered visual distractions can make shopping a nightmare. The process of scanning the contents of a large department store can be agonizing. The quantity of choices is overwhelming and often creates feelings of intense anxiety and irritation.

Touchy Touchability

An ADDer can be very touchy
about being touched! His sense of touch is as vulnerable to overstimulation as the rest of his sensory channels. An intolerance of touch or close physical
proximity is a fairly common difference noted by ADD adults. The term “tactile defensiveness,” found in occupational therapy literature, captures the essence of this difference. Similar to most ADD symptoms, it waxes and wanes. At times the
need for physical space is acute, and an ADDer simply can’t tolerate being around other people.

It’s ironic that with his poor sense of physical boundaries, he may bump into someone else’s physical space while he fiercely protects his own. One ADDer ruefully observed: “People like me—other ADDers—can drive me crazy. I hate to be touched, and they keep bumping into me.” Others say they don’t like
living with animals because pets don’t have respect for physical boundaries!

Roller-Coaster Emotions

ADDers Live on Emotional Roller Coasters

We’re not exactly sure what causes the problems with mood and emotion in ADD. We do know that ADDers often say they live on emotional roller coasters. Feeling states fluctuate, with extreme alterations in the highs and lows over hours or even minutes.

Maintaining emotions on an even keel is an intricate process involving fine adjustments by different parts of the brain and nervous system. For an ADDer, this process seems to be dysregulated. He walks precariously on his high wire never knowing how he’ll feel at a given moment. The people in his life may tiptoe around him, fearing his next bad mood.

Intense INTENSITY

People often describe ADD
adults as
intense
. Feelings are amplified and blasted out with little restraint. When an ADDer is angry, he might yell or throw things. When he’s happy, he often captivates people with dazzling displays of positive energy.

Low moods feel like the end of the world. Many of us have passionate natures, artistic temperaments that react quickly and to an extreme. Our tendency to boast and exaggerate
may result from experiencing the world so intensely. If we always see the world in vivid living color, we’ll describe it that way to others. It isn’t a planned exaggeration but a valid reflection of our perceptions.

A Short Fuse

When something pushes an ADD adult’s temperamental buttons, impulsivity often kicks in. It may take little to set off his explosive temper or turn him into an irritable
grouch. The outburst that results can be as baffling to him as it is frightening to the people around him. After the explosion that seems to come from nowhere, he often feels ashamed. He can’t understand why he made such a big deal out of nothing.

His anger usually disappears as quickly as it appeared, but the anger he elicits in other people doesn’t go away quite as fast. They shake their heads
at his childish reaction to a burned piece of toast. He could just get another piece. Instead, he fusses and fumes. Since setbacks throw him off balance so easily, he starts complaining when he should be trying to solve the problem.

The IDP Dynamic—Irritability,
Dissatisfaction or Pessimism

The moodiness in ADD can be expressed as generalized irritability. There may not be dramatic explosions
of temper but rather a continual grumpiness. Unfortunately, the irritable ADDer misses out on the highs, instead experiencing chronic dissatisfaction. He seldom expresses positive thoughts or feelings and travels through life exuding an aura of pessimism. Through no fault of his own, he views his world through gray-colored glasses.