Violence Begets... (13 page)

“What the fuck was that?” he asked when
we were hidden away from everyone at the catwalk. I wasn’t sure if it was a rhetorical
question, so I played it safe and kept my mouth shut. “Answer me,” he said tightly.

“He’s been gunning for me all night,
and then he kissed Jessica.”

“Are you kidding? You caused all that
attention. Shit, you’re gonna get us all expelled because he kissed the piece of
ass you're trying to make me jealous with?”

I blanched. “What? Make you jealous?
This has nothing to do with you.”

“The fuck it doesn’t. It has everything
to do with me.”

“What world do you live in? ‘Cause in
my world, things don’t revolve around you.”

“The one where even though you can barely
tolerate the thought, all you think about is this,” he said as he grabbed me and
kissed me. There was no hint of gentleness, just heat. He pushed me against the
handrail and roughly took my lips into his mouth, biting down. I could taste blood
and kissed him back, caving into my nightmares. My body pressed into him, picturing
the way he came in the car. And then I pictured Kari underneath him and shoved him
away, quickly backing out of the catwalk so he couldn’t corner me.

“Seriously? You think I’m going to go
for that? I just watched you nail Kari in the backseat of your friend’s ride. I
know you’re not gay! I know you have something up your sleeve. I’m not someone you
can screw with or use as a pawn in your game. Find some other guy or girl or whatever
your flavor of the minute is. Because you aren’t getting anything from me.” I turned
my back on him and steadily walked away. My ears became sensitive to every little
sound, expecting him to tackle me from behind. With every step, I tensed, waiting
for the fight that never came.

I avoided the gym entrance, not wanting
to deal with the crowds, Brett or Jessica. I found a side entrance, and as I reached
for the door I noticed my hand shaking, the adrenalin starting to fade as the aftershock
of what had happened settled in. As soon as I was in the doors of the school, I
sank to the ground. After several attempts to open the lid of my flask, I was able
to get it off and downed nearly all of the remaining vodka. The flask slipped and
clattered to the floor.

I tried to push the feel of his body
against mine from my head, the way his lips had taken control and forced a reaction
out of me. I fisted my hands in my hair, yanking as I fought the images. I hated
how he was making me feel simply for his own perverted game. I never even heard
the footsteps.

“Is this yours?”

I looked up at the tight, striped shirt
and too-short slacks belonging to Dr. Mortensen, the school’s principal. I'd barely
heard what he'd said, let alone understood it.

“Huh?” was all I could manage.

He looked down and I followed his stare.
He tapped my flask with the toe of his worn brown loafers.

“The flask. I assume it’s yours.”

This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t
even think fast enough to respond adequately.

“No, sir,” I stammered as I tried to
stand up, shaking now for an entirely different reason. I’d never been in any serious
trouble. “It’s not mine.”

“No? Then whose is it?” he asked, looking
up and down the hall, tilting his head a little so he could look through the top
half of his bifocals. I looked up and down the hall as well, in search of anything
or anyone who could help me. He bent and picked it up. “Well, I suppose we should
go call your parents.”

My legs nearly gave out on me again,
and I stumbled back towards the locker. He looked at me and I could see he assumed
I was drunk.

“Sir, it’s not mine, but I’ll take detention.
I’ll do anything, but please, don’t call my dad.” I didn’t want to imagine the way
he’d react if he got a call from the principal of my school. Him busting me was
one thing. Me getting in real trouble was new and I was willing to bet it came with
a much worse punishment. I tried to take a step towards him and was mortified when
my legs actually wouldn’t hold me and I stumbled to my knees. “Please,” was all
I could get out before I fell.

“It’s mine.”

My head jerked in the direction of the
voice, and I saw Kevin appear out of nowhere.

“Excuse me?” Dr. Mortensen asked with
some confusion.

“The flask,” Kevin nodded towards the
principal’s hand. “It’s mine. Rick here was trying to get me to get rid of it. Something
about the dangers of underage drinking, if you believe that shit.”

I stared at him, incredulous, wondering
if I’d finally lost my mind.

“Language.”

“You’re lecturing me about saying ‘shit’
when you’re holding my flask of vodka in your hand. Don’t you think we have more
serious matters to discuss?” Kevin turned and started walking towards his office.
Dr. Mortensen looked at me, still kneeling on the floor, and then toward Kevin.
After several seconds, he shrugged, obviously deciding that a confession from the
notorious Kevin Vincent was better than the denial I was offering.

He hadn’t even looked at me. Kevin had
stepped in and taken the blame without a glance at me. He’d prevented Dr. Mortensen
from calling my dad, and they were on the way to call Kevin’s dad instead. He took
more than just the blame; he was taking a beating that was sure to be worse than
mine would’ve ever been, and all I could think about was the taste of his lips.

Kevin

“Seriously. Shut the fuck up!” If he
said he was sorry one more fucking time I’d have to make him sorry.

“I’m sor…I mean, I just don’t get why
you did it.” Apparently, my little stunt with Dr. Mortensen had helped him get over
his general disgust for me as of late, and now he wouldn’t shut his fucking trap!

“We are so not talking about this anymore.
We’ve been over it a billion times. Drop it.”

“But your dad…”

I turned and slammed him into a row
of lockers. Shit, I was losing my cool, and in the middle of the hall no less. I
told myself to take a deep breath before speaking.

“A: We don’t ever talk about him in
earshot of anyone else. B: I told you, Mortensen has been looking for a reason to
bust me for a while. At least with this, I got to decide when it happened. C: It
had nothing to do with you, so just fucking leave it. D: Don’t push me.” I released
him and stepped back. If there was a god, I prayed that Rick would believe every
word I said. Maybe if he started to believe it, I would too. I watched his face
carefully. He backed off, for the moment.

“Fine, whatever,” he said, ducking past
me.

I was still pissed that he’d started
something with Brett at the dance, but I wasn’t nearly as mad as I’d led them all
to believe. I really had just wanted to get Rick alone. But Brett had been growing
increasingly annoying, and I was proud that Rick was learning to stand up for himself.

Some guy named Jeff from my Earth Science
class walked past and gave me a hard slap on the back.

“Way to go with Kari. I heard you scored
with her at the dance last weekend.”

Fuck me! I gritted my teeth. My father
hadn’t been easy on me and the slap on the back nearly buckled me, but I plastered
a smirk on my face and shrugged.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” I growled.
I wondered if people would ever get it through their heads to keep their hands off
me.

He started laughing with his friends
as they continued down the hall, paying more attention to my smirk than to my warning.

“You okay?” Rick asked.

“Fine.” I said automatically.

“Liar.”

I cut my eyes at him sideways. “Fuck
off.”

He stiffened a little. “It’s my fault.”

“Jesus Mary mother of fucking hell.
You’re like a goddamn broken record. It’s been like twenty fucking seconds.” I veered
off down another hallway, making it clear that he wasn’t invited to join me.

I’d made my decision and hell if I wasn’t
in pain for it. I didn’t need him being all weepy and shit. I didn’t have the fucking
energy to make him feel better about my goddamn father. I made my way to a locked
door that I, of course, had a key to. It led to the roof and it was the one place
in the world I could go that nobody else knew about. The halls emptied, and it was
easy to slip in the door unnoticed.

If positioned right, I could look out
over the city and the football field. It was ideal. While I didn’t fuck guys my
age, there was something hot as hell about watching a bunch of guys in tight-ass
pants ram their bodies against each other. I sat down, carefully avoiding leaning
against anything, and lit up a joint.

My mind still raced with questions as
to why the hell I’d stopped Mortensen from busting Rick. I hoped the weed would
quiet the buzzing. He’d looked so scared, on his knees, pleading. It really was
quite pathetic, but at the time all I could think about was keeping him out of his
dad’s hands. I hadn't thought it through. When the fuck had I stopped thinking things
through? It had been bad. Cardinal rule, don’t fucking get caught. Perception was
everything to my father.

The weekend was fast approaching. With
my father on edge, I was anxious to stay out of his way, so I readily agreed to
go to a party hosted by Beth. It was kinda nice just to show up for something and
not worry about planning all the details.

The party was a few houses down from
Rick’s house. Beth's parents were Mormon, and she was a good girl, but I wasn’t
as interested in the party as I was having a chance to get Rick alone. I’d ignored
him pretty much all week, so I figured he’d keep his fucking mouth shut and not
make me think about my moment of stupidity. Beth’s house was a perfect setting because
her backyard was big enough for anyone to disappear in. The yard consisted of several
levels, each level surrounded with and hidden by pine trees and brush oak. It provided
many secluded private spots, which was perfect for those of us who didn’t want to
be found. Shortly after arriving, the guys found an area closed off from the party
where we could knock a few back.

When Beth spotted us coming back to
the main group, I waved at her and she immediately looked away. I couldn’t blame
her for not liking me after I’d used her to bait Rick when he first started hanging
out with us. I was pleased with the look of disapproval on her face. Even more so,
I loved how she was too intimidated by me to stop me from doing what I wanted. We
didn’t fit in well with her friends, but we were able to plant ourselves on the
outskirts of her party and got along just fine with our own kind.

Rick, however, found himself happily
in Jessica’s company. Jessica and Rick had always meant something to each other,
thanks to me. But since I’d turned up the heat, I’d noticed that he was certainly
working harder at their relationship. Interestingly enough, as busy as he seemed
to be making conversation and flirting with her, he made himself just as busy watching
me and making sure he knew where I was at all times. This was the sign I’d been
waiting for. I’d made him sweat things long enough to make my next move. He probably
wasn’t ready mentally, but physically he couldn’t stand it anymore. I watched him
enter the back of the house, and I could see him through the sliding glass door,
talking with her. The guys seemed buzzed and wrapped up in their own flirtations
with other girls. I knew I’d not be missed.

 “Hi, Jessica,” I said with exaggerated
charm and a slight bow. She smiled warmly at me, her eyes bright and a little too
knowing for my taste.

“I suppose you’ve come to fetch Rick
from under my spell,” she laughed.

“You suppose right my dear. May I borrow
him for a smoke?”

She reached up on her toes and wrapped
her arms around his neck. “Only if you promise to bring him back.”

“Now, you know I don’t make promises
to anyone.” Jessica was one of the few people I could actually see myself being
friends with, if I had friends. However, the way she was draping herself all over
Rick had me fighting my instincts to grab him away from her.

I turned to Rick and forced a calm breath.
“Let’s go.”

“Yeah, sure,” he remarked coolly. He
turned, pulled her tighter into his arms, bent slowly, and found her lips. I watched
as she melted into him, and I realized my hands had tightened into fists. Then I
noticed how careful and gentle he was being and immediately knew he wasn’t one bit
interested in her. My anger gave way to curiosity. I knew damn well how he liked
to be kissed and what made his body respond, and this was not it. This so-called
kiss was nothing more than a message to me and maybe to himself.

“Be back in a bit, okay?” he whispered
softly to her. When he turned, a triumphant look on his face, I almost burst out
laughing, but for the sake of not causing a scene, I reigned in my amusement and
made for a fast exit.

He followed me out the door and up a
small hill to the side of the yard. I then circled around some trees to a secluded
area I felt would give us the privacy I needed. Away from the lights of the party,
it took several moments for our eyes to adjust.

“So, where’re the guys?” Rick asked
when he realized no one was around.

I smiled into the darkness, taking a
step towards him. I slid my arm quickly around his waist and pulled his body against
mine. With my other hand, I shoved my fingers through his hair and forced my lips
to his, giving him the complete opposite experience he’d just given Jessica. I expected
a struggle and got one. And damn if his kiss didn’t get me instantly hard; it was
fucking distracting. He pushed hard against me and broke free.

“Don’t…” was all he was able to get
out before I was kissing him again, pushing him towards a big tree that I knew would
keep him in my grasp. I moved my hand up under his shirt, partly to touch his skin,
partly to absorb and protect him against the shock of the tree that was about to
come into contact with his back. Even with my arm there, he winced and I paused
briefly, allowing him to center himself. When I saw the pain leave his face, I wasted
no time securing him tightly against my body. He pushed against my chest again,
but I noticed that he took care to avoid hurting me as well. His struggle moved
almost seamlessly between shoving me away and pulling me towards him, alternating
every few seconds as his mind and body fought it out. I moved with his indecision,
doing everything I could to avoid thinking about how fucking impossible my body
was behaving. When I finally noticed him arching towards me more than fighting against
me, I gripped him firmly and, with two calculated steps backwards, tipped us into
a hammock, him coming down hard on top of me.

The hammock started swinging wildly,
threatening to throw us off at any moment. I found his lips again and deepened my
kiss, immediately losing myself in his taste, his heat and his continued struggle,
though it got weaker and weaker.
So help me fucking god, let me get through this
,
I thought. I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck, holding him to me and
trying to balance out the swaying world around us.

He struggled only a few more moments
before giving in completely and grasping onto me, his fingers digging into my back.
In his abandon, he forgot about being careful. Pain from recent wounds immediately
coursed through me but seemed not to matter next to the pleasure he was giving me.
It felt as if he was holding on to me so he wouldn’t lose himself. Hell, I knew
that if he was drowning then I was going with him. When I couldn’t stand it any
longer, I rocked my hips into him, needing friction, and he violently jerked back
from me.

“Rick, knock it off!” I nearly clenched
my teeth into his shoulder in frustration. “You know you want this as much as I
do.”

“I don’t,” he said, pushing harder and
struggling again with near madness. I reached down between the two of us and grabbed
him. My head screamed for control as I felt him in my hand. He was just as hard
as I was.

“You lie. You want me.” I took possession
of his mouth again and the struggle continued. I left my hand where it was and used
the gravity of the swaying hammock and the fact that I was simply stronger than
him to keep him on top of me. I lowered my voice and spoke with real anger. Whether
the anger was at him for not giving in, or at myself for not being able to control
my own damn body was anybody's question.

“Stop your struggling,” I commanded.
He relaxed a little when he heard my anger but still strained against me.

“Let me go, Kevin.”

“I will not. Not until you admit you
want me.” I had to hear him say it. It hadn’t been part of the plan, but I needed
him to admit that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

“Never. I don’t want this.”

“Hold the fuck still,” I whispered desperately.
He was pushing his luck. The hell he didn’t, and I was going to make him admit what
he really needed, what we both needed. I gathered every ounce of control I had left
and slowed my pace. I wanted nothing more than to take him right then, but he wasn’t
ready. I slid my hand up his shirt again and was pleased when he calmed down and
shuddered under my touch. I demanded with my lips that he open his mouth to me.
I lessened my restraint and his arms found their way around me. “Say you want me.”
I kissed his neck right below his ear, taking my time exploring his taste. I trailed
my mouth down the side of his neck, finding the hollow near his collarbone. “Say
you want me,” I whispered as I traced my tongue back up to his mouth. I pretended
like I was about to kiss him but just brushed his lips gently with mine. “You know
what I want,” I said breathlessly. He needed me to kiss him; I could feel the electric
current pulling me towards him. Again, I barely touched my lips to his but refused
to give him more.

“Jesus, Kevin, I want you!”

His words sounded almost like a sob
of defeat, but the moment his voice mixed with his exhaled breath I took possession
of him again. It wasn’t long before his lips started to explore my neck and my body
went into overdrive.
Shit! Fuck! Shit! Fuck!
I threw my hands behind my head,
jamming my fingers in my hair and pulling as hard as I could. He paused, wondering
why I’d stopped holding onto him.

“Keep going, don’t stop,” I forced out.
If I allowed myself to touch him, I’d tear off his clothes without question. I needed
some motherfucking control. His lips were covering my neck again, and I clenched
my teeth as I allowed him to explore. I’d never experience such agony in my whole
life.

I wanted to fuck the hell out of him,
but my need to keep him from sharing my secrets was much more critical. Forcing
thoughts of completely consuming him out of my mind, I decided to let him do whatever
he wanted without moving my fucking hands from their tenuous grasp in my hair. The
goal was to get him to trust me so he wouldn’t betray me. I’d let him set the pace
and challenge him, making him want me until he couldn’t resist. Then I’d have him—body
and mind alike.