Trial and Glory (40 page)

He rubbed his tired eyes with the palms of his hands as a sob caught in his throat.

It had been too long since he last spoke with Lucia. Though he had already admitted much to her, he still could not bring himself to open up about what had truly happened to Kaz.

She will never forgive me for it.

Jober looked up as he heard a door open in the distance. Time passed slowly since his arrest. He kept track of the days by the frequency of his meals. He eyed his untouched dinner from the night before and realized it must already be morning. The guard would be carrying another fresh plate of food to spoil.

He rose to his feet, ignoring the shooting pains traveling down his half-asleep legs as he bent over to pick up his dinner tray. Though the tray on its way would simply take the place of the one in his hand, he knew better than to force the guard to change them out for him. He still carried a bruise over his left shoulder where a strike had reminded him that he did not dictate the rules.

When did I ever? Even in the stables, I was just another hand.

As the footsteps neared, Jober noticed the out of time cadence that signified a second set. Moments later, he blinked in surprise as Lucia appeared. She carried his breakfast plate.

“I didn’t expect to see you again,” Jober croaked through a dry throat. He had drunk almost as little as he had eaten over the last day.

She ignored him and faced the guard. “Leave us. I’ll be fine.”

The guard cast Jober a look then walked back up the hallway. Lucia took a step closer to the cell door, placed the tray on the floor, and slid it inside.

“Eat,” she said.

“I’m not hungry.”

“The guard told me you haven’t touched your food in two days. Eat now or I promise I will leave and never return.”

Panic bubbled up in his gut. He placed the tray from the night before down, and picked up the fresh food Lucia brought, and began to eat. He chewed slowly, afraid how his stomach would react after his fast.

Before he realized it, he had cleaned his plate, downing the remaining skin of water brought to him yesterday.

Lucia nodded in approval. “Good.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about our last conversation.”

“So have I.”

Jober raised an eyebrow at her serious tone. “Oh?”

“Yes, it seems that thinking is all I do these days now that I have someone else’s needs to put ahead of my own.” Lucia rubbed her stomach.

Jober breathed a sigh of relief. A part of him had wondered if Lucia would make the right decision when it came to her relationship with Tobin, but it seems she understood that like Bazraki, Tobin would not be a good father for his child.

I can find peace in that at least.

“You’re making the right decision,” said Jober.

Lucia tilted her head. “I don’t think you understand. I’m going to marry Tobin.”

Her words hit Jober like a hammer blow to the head. Despite having recently eaten, his legs felt weak. He staggered over to a wall.

“Why would you do that?” he finally managed to ask. “Kaz . . .”

“Kaz is dead! Nothing I do will change that.”

“That’s still no reason to make such a huge mistake,” pleaded Jober. “You know what kind of a person Tobin is.”

“Yes. And based on what I’ve recently learned from you and Tobin, I know that Kaz was not much different. Yet, I loved him with all my heart.” She chuckled. “I can’t even hate him now. Despite his flaws, I know I knew the real Kaz. And, I think the same holds true for Tobin. He has his faults, likely from Bazraki, yet he is trying to be someone better. I think I can help him be that.” She looked down at her stomach. “
We
can help him be that. I want my child to have a father.”

“You can’t do this!”

“I can, and I will!” Lucia’s face twisted in anger. She stormed off.

She means it. Nothing I say can change her mind.
His stomach lurched.
There is something. But Hielle and the children. . . .

He felt like vomiting. He had put Hielle and his family ahead of everyone else for too long.

If I had said something sooner, how much destruction and misery could have been avoided?

Jober realized that at least in part, he had justified his willingness to protect Lucia as a form of penance—a way to look out for the most important thing in Kaz’s life.

I have to tell her. No matter the consequences. It’s the only way to make things right.

Jober took a deep breath. “You would change your mind if you knew what really happened to Kaz,” he yelled.

Lucia’s footsteps came to a sudden stop. There was a short pause before the sound of her footfalls grew in volume.

She reappeared outside his cell, her face flashing with every bit of the anger she left with. “What are you talking about?” she snapped. “I was there when you told Bazraki. I heard everything.”

“You heard what I was told to say. Everything I said then and most of I’ve said since about that night was a lie.”

“And how do I know that you won’t lie now?”

Jober shrugged. “I don’t know. Just . . . just let me tell you what really happened. I’ll let you decide for yourself.”

“Fine.”

Jober held nothing back as the words spilled out. He stared at the floor, while telling Lucia the story of Kaz’s disappearance, and all of the events before and after relating to it. Jober had no way of knowing how long it took him to tell the story, but by the time he had finished, his throat felt as dry as tree bark. Lucia hadn’t said a word the entire time.

“I take it by your silence you don’t believe me,” he rasped.

“No,” she croaked. “I believe you.”

Jober looked up for the first time since he began, and saw Lucia’s face contorted in a mix of pain and sorrow. She had been crying for some time. Tears soaked her face. Through puffy eyes, a hateful stare bore into him.

“I had no choice,” said Jober.

She leaned forward, and spat through the bars. “I trusted you.” She shook her head, sobbed, and hurried down the hallway.

Jober plopped to the floor, head in his hands.

* * *

When the last of the enemy soldiers screamed his last breath atop the walls, Tobin allowed himself to relax. Durahn had thrown his best at him, and failed.

Leaning over the parapets, Tobin eyed the broken bodies of warriors and shamans and the wooden debris from the remains of Durahn’s bridges.

They underestimated me. Again.

The sides of Tobin’s mouth twisted upward as he moved his gaze to the last of the retreating army. He smiled wider as he noticed the mannerisms of the survivors.

What is your next move Mawkuk? Beg for mercy as neither one of your children had the sense to do? Or keep fighting until your own men turn their blades on you for leading them to their deaths.

He grunted, thinking about Durahn.

No matter what you do, your life is done. And I’ll take your head myself.

Tobin turned where Teznak waited dutifully behind him at attention. “Check over supplies, especially arrows and quarrels for the archers.”

“Yes, Warleader,” said Teznak with a bow. “Are you returning to the palace now that we can expect another break in their assault?”

Tobin hadn’t considered that option. Mawkuk and Durahn would need to spend time regrouping and licking their wounds. He could afford to spend one night away.

“Yes, I think I will. Kerek is in charge until I return. I want news on anything unusual.”

Teznak bowed again.

Tobin made his way down from the wall. Not long ago, he had wanted a challenge. He should feel happy because of his success. However, the satisfaction of victory paled in comparison to the true joy he had after his night with Lucia. He hung his head, realizing that nothing in life would measure up to that perfect moment.

He hadn’t seen her in days.

I don’t want her to hurt me again. But, am I better like this?

He thought about how little his life meant without her.

And without my child.

He made a choice.

She came to me last time. It’s time I go to her.

* * *

Tobin rapped his knuckles on the door and waited. A deep breath did little to calm his rolling stomach. His palms continued to sweat after wiping them on the legs of his trousers.

“Who is it?” asked a muffled voice.

“Tobin. Can we talk?”

The door swung open violently revealing a red-eyed Lucia. Her hand shot up, and caught the side of his face. The blow snapped his head to the side and his ear rang. He forgot all about his nervousness.

“How dare you show your face around here,” she snapped.

“What did I do?” Tobin asked as he touched the buzzing in his cheek.

“What did you do?” Lucia screamed. “Jober told me what really happened to Kaz. He—”

Tobin barged in, pushing Lucia back, and slamming the door. “I can explain what happened.”

“I don’t want to hear your explanation. You’re just like Jober. You think that whatever you’ve been telling yourself to justify your actions is enough to ease my pain. You’re wrong!”

“It wasn’t me. It was Nachun. I only came in afterward.”

“I don’t care! You still lied to me! And you let Nachun live for what he did,” she cried.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

Lucia’s sobbing stopped. Her eyes widened. She lowered her voice. “You let Nachun take my husband from me. How did you think I would feel?”

Tobin looked away, unable to meet her eyes. She marched toward Tobin and slapped him again, flinging his head to the side.

“Answer me!” she yelled.

“This isn’t how it was supposed to be,” he muttered.

“Yes, you thought I would swoon over you, and that we could live a happy life together until the end of our days. Is that it? All you care about is yourself!”

She lunged toward him, swinging violently.

Tobin grabbed her wrists, suddenly full of rage. “I came here for us. For our child!”

Betrayals of every past relationship he ever had flashed through his mind, every good deed he had ever attempted all collapsing in the end.

Why is it that every good thing I try fails so miserably?

“So . . . are you . . . going to kill me too?” asked Lucia, choking out the question.

Lucia’s words slapped Tobin harder than her hand had. He blinked himself out of his stupor, realizing that he had her bent over a chair. He felt her protruding belly rub against his own.

What am I doing? I can’t even control myself with her. She’s right. I never considered her feelings. Only my own.

He quickly let her go and stepped away. She stood slowly, rubbing her wrists.

A bright flash streaked across his vision.

He and Kaz played as boys. He remembered the satisfaction he felt knowing that his hiding spot was so good, his brother would never find him. But Kaz did, and the two began yelling at each other. Tobin accused Kaz of cheating. Their mother came into the room and she told Tobin to come down from the shelf and then went to Kaz. Tobin kicked his legs out in anger, accidentally hitting a large pot on the shelf. It fell and struck his mother. She crumbled to the ground.

Tobin stared in horror.

Adosh entered the room and grabbed Kaz as his brother lunged toward the ladder to get him. Tobin wanted to say it was an accident, that he was only frustrated things had not gone his way, but the words failed him. He continued to stare at his mother’s lifeless form.

He blinked and was back in Lucia’s room. Barely a moment had passed. He hadn’t murdered his mother after all. He should have felt comfort in that fact, but couldn’t.

Because I still killed her. I only cared about myself. I couldn’t control my anger. Because of that she died.

He glanced down at the growing child in Lucia’s stomach, and then up at the face of the woman he cared for above all else.

How long before I hurt them?

He slowly shook his head. “I’m sorry. For everything,” he whispered before quickly leaving her room.

* * *

Lucia stared dumbfounded at the door. Tobin had looked miserable before rushing out. The sudden change in his demeanor left her more confused than ever.

She turned away and moved to her bedroom. An assortment of clothes and personal belongings sat on her bed. She quickly stuffed them into a bag manageable enough to carry. She took one last look around the room, touched her stomach, removed a note from her dress for Hielle to find in the morning that would explain her actions, and left her quarters.

After her conversation with Jober, Lucia had decided that the comforts of the palace were not worth the stress of being around Tobin and so many others she could not rely on.

Her meeting with Tobin reaffirmed those thoughts.

She couldn’t leave the city yet, not until the siege ended. But she could at least leave the palace and hide with family.

Lucia knew her life would no longer be easy. She touched her stomach.

The safety of my child is worth it
.

Chapter 29

Kaz stood at the sterncastle near the captain. His ship held the center position, with others following in their wake. Distant shouts traveled over the relatively calm waters. They intermingled with the sounds pervading his ship.

Heavy boots beat against the decking. Rope squealed in the pulleys as the crew adjusted the sails. Men bellowed at their mates scurrying up and down the masts. His people had always been masters of the sea so it should come as no surprise how natural everyone seemed. However, Kaz marveled at how quickly the Blue Island Clan sailors had taken a foreign ship’s design and made it their own.

“What are you looking at?” asked Drake coming up on him.

Kaz peeled his gaze away from the mizzenmast where one of the crew scurried upward like a squirrel. “Just thinking that if Nareash did anything positive for our people, it’s that he pushed us even past what my father attempted in innovation. Too bad we couldn’t have come across someone better to expose us to such things.”