Trial and Glory (41 page)

“Would you have accepted anyone else?”

“It would have been my father’s decision.” He paused, thinking. “It would have depended on how the information was presented to him and who that person was.”

“No one not of Hesh, then?”

“We are a close-minded people.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re going home then. It sounds like your people need someone like you to lead them.”

“Perhaps.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

Kaz gestured for Drake to walk with him to the railing, away from earshot of others. He looked out at the white foam trailing the ship. “It would be foolish of me, conceited even, to think that there isn’t someone already in Hesh more capable to lead than I am.”

“You don’t want to lead?”

“No. I thought I did once, but any desire I had was only to make sure my brother was denied the opportunity.”

“Why did you feel that way?”

Kaz opened his mouth, ready to answer the simple question. However, his tongue froze. Of the memories that had returned to him regarding his brother, most had been filled with hate. In those memories, his emotions felt clear, right. Yet now, he couldn’t find the words to express them. The thought scared him.

“What’s wrong?” asked Drake.

I’m about to depose my brother from his rule. I thought I had plenty of reasons to support such a decision. Reports from Itken and the other Kifzo. An entire lifetime of hate. Yet, how can I do this when I don’t know what it was that caused such an intense dislike of him?

A cold chill ran down his back. His desire to return to Lucia had masked the need to confront such feelings about Tobin. Drake’s simple question put things in a different perspective.

I can’t do it. Not like this, anyway.

“Kaz. You don’t look so good.”

He shook away his thoughts. “Sorry. Just a bit seasick I guess. The ocean is getting rougher.”

“Are you sure? I thought you grew up on an island. Being on the water should be nothing to you.”

“Too much time on land, I guess,” he said with a shrug.

“Alright. If you say so.”

He could see that Drake didn’t believe him. However, his friend had the decency not to push the issue.

They stood in silence until Drake changed subjects. “You were saying you didn’t want to lead. Do you know who should?”

Kaz nodded. “I have a few ideas. One in particular. I’m not sure if he would accept it though.” He paused. “I wish I could run off with Lucia where no one would bother us and live our lives in peace.”

“You mean leave everything behind? And have nothing? Trust me. I lived that life. It gets old. I can’t see you being happy with that.”

Kaz smiled. “That’s only because you haven’t met Lucia. She’s not the kind of person anyone would be tired with.”

* * *

Shooting pains in Raker’s good arm shook him awake. He muttered a string of curses, and sat up from his bedroll below deck. Men under his command lay around him.

Senald heaved a heavy sigh.

“Shut up,” mumbled Raker, trying to rub at his good arm with the stump of his other.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“But you wanted to.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“Close enough.”

“Just go see Wiqua.”

“See. I knew you couldn’t stop yourself from saying something.”

Senald muttered under his breath and rolled over.

“What was that?” Raker hissed.

Senald looked over his shoulder, speaking each word deliberately. “I said, either go to sleep or go see Wiqua. I don’t care which as long as you’re quiet. I’ve barely slept since we left Asantia because of your aches and pains.”

A dozen other grunts and “ayes” followed.

Raker spat. “So all of you are against me then? Fine.” He stood up. “I’ll go see the old man.”

He unhooked a lantern next to a post and raised the wick. Another curse from behind started at the increase in light. He ignored them, trying to block out the pain as he shuffled upstairs to the next level. He went straight to Wiqua who surprisingly was up. The old man smiled warmly.

“It’s too late to smile like that.”

“Would you rather I scowl, bark, and swear with everything I do like someone I know?”

“Absolutely.”

Wiqua’s smile grew. “What can I do for you?”

“It’s my shoulder.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It hurts. Can you heal it?”

“The process is much quicker and longer lasting if I have more information about the injury. Tell me what happened.”

“Something popped.”

“When?”

“When we left Asantia?”

“What were you doing?”

“Swinging my mace,” he grumbled.

“I see. It’s not surprising. You don’t use it as often as you used to. Plus, you are getting up in years.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“Sit down, and let’s have a look at it.”

Raker did as he was told while Wiqua examined the arm. A warm sensation began to permeate the left side of his upper torso, starting in the shoulder joint and working outward down his arm and into his neck and back. Eventually, the sensation faded.

“Good as new.”

Raker swung his arm about, rolling it back and forth. It felt better than it had before the injury. “Thanks.”

Wiqua nodded. “It’s what I do. Though the gratitude is appreciated all the same. It isn’t something I hear often.”

Raker started to question that statement but then realized that he had never told the Byzernian thanks after saving his life. At the time, he had been too focused and angry on the fact that he only had half an arm. He hung his head.

“And thank you for this,” he said, raising his stump. “At the time, I hated you for saving my life, but now I’m glad you did.”

“I’m happy you realized your life was worth saving.”

“Things were pretty dark there for a while.”

“It’s understandable. You lost someone close to you.”

“I guess so.” Raker paused. He realized he rarely ever spoke to the old man. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“How are you handling Hag’s death?”

“I miss her like everyone else. Probably more since I knew her in a different way.”

“I don’t see you going through all the crazy stuff some of us went through with Jonrell’s death.”

Wiqua offered a sad smile. “That’s because she isn’t the first person special to me I’ve lost. Remember, I was once a slave. I’ve had practice in handling great losses.”

“I hope neither of us has anymore.”

“I think we both know that isn’t likely.”

* * *

White balls of sorcery floated over the ship, dancing back and forth in the air like a swarm of fireflies. Each of the small balls raced upward, disappearing into the black clouds that had begun to fill the skies days ago. Drake noticed each of the rolling masses lightened to a dark gray.

He joined Krytien who stood alone at the ship’s bow, staring into the sky.

“That seems to have helped. The sky doesn’t look nearly as bad as before,” said Drake.

“It helped some,” answered the mage. “Though not as much as I had hoped. I’ve only tried to affect the weather in small instances. Nothing of this magnitude. From what I gather in Amcaro’s writings, even he had trouble manipulating weather to such a degree.”

“I’m sure every little bit will help. The captain expects the storms to start tomorrow. They were in them for more than a week last time.”

Krytien raised an eyebrow. “You spoke with the captain?”

“Yeah. Why?”

The mage shook his head in disbelief. “One Above, now you’re speaking Heshan too?”

Drake grinned. “Not a whole lot. I had already picked up a good bit of it from listening to Kaz, especially since it shares so many similarities with the Byzernian language.”

Krytien smirked. “Whatever you say.”

“Are you back to full strength?”

“Not completely.”

“Shouldn’t you still be resting then?”

“Nah. Too much to do.” He chuckled, gesturing to the clouds. “Not unless you want to take care of this for me.”

“I wish.”

Krytien paused. “So, what’s bothering you?”

Drake sighed. “Just wondering what we’re walking into.”

“We all are. But that’s how it always is when you first start a job. Even if this isn’t a job in the traditional sense, the basics are all there.”

“I guess. I know you’ve been doing this a lot longer than I have, but this is just so different from when we went to Cadonia. I know we didn’t fully know what to expect then either, but at least Jonrell seemed to have a clue. Kaz however . . .”

Krytien nodded. “I know. Even though Jonrell had been away for years, he knew the players involved hadn’t changed much. With Kaz, it sounds as though a lot has changed. He might be going up against family. If you’ve noticed, he never talks about that. In some ways, I think he might be as clueless as we are.”

Drake sighed. “So, what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Normally, I’d be trying to get ready for battle, but I really can’t do that if I don’t have an idea about what I should get ready for.”

“Take advantage of the time off and study with Mizak then. He seems to be the kind of person you’d get along with.”

“Worth a shot.”

“Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ve got work to do.”

* * *

Forgive me, Kaz.

Those three words, the first three words he heard upon wakening in Cadonia, echoed in his mind. With little to do at sea but think, he considered the magnitude of that simple phrase.

By giving me my name, I never fully lost a connection to my past. What would have happened had Jober not said them to me?

Kaz still did not completely understand his friend’s context for saying those words. He knew Jober had been involved in some capacity in his disappearance, but the details escaped him. He knew the story Jober relayed to Bazraki from Itken. However, Kaz was not convinced of its accuracy. There were too many inconsistencies.

He thought of the regret in Jober’s voice.
Was he coerced into becoming involved?

“I hope you’re not asleep.”

Kaz nearly jumped at the booming voice.
I didn’t even hear him approach.

“No, I’m not asleep,” Kaz answered, staring out at the dark ocean.

“Good,” the Ghal grunted. “You had me worried. You haven’t moved since lunch.”

“I’m surprised Raker didn’t start taking bets on whether I was awake then.”

“He did actually.” Crusher raised his right hand and waved over his shoulder. Several curses mixed with hollers of glee sounded. The giant grinned. “I was sent over as the neutral party to settle the bet.”

Kaz looked over his shoulder where members of the Hell Patrol exchanged coin with each other and surprisingly, several Kifzo. “I guess I should be happy that everyone is starting to get along at least.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” said Crusher. “It might take us some time to get past the differences in color or size or whatever. But in the end, we’re all just warriors.”

Kaz grunted. “Well said.”

Crusher slapped him on the back. “Didn’t know I could be so profound, did you?”

Kaz laughed. “You’re smarter than you like to let on.”

“Good. Then you won’t be surprised when I ask you what in the name of the One Below has been bothering you. All I’ve heard about for the last few months since you got your memory back is wanting to see your wife. We’re finally on the way to see her, and you look more depressed now than before.”

“I am happy. But I’m also frightened. Juanoq is days away according to the captain. There is no way to know what has happened in the half year they’ve been gone. I have no idea what’s going to happen when we reach the city.”

“You mean with your brother?”

Kaz nodded. “I’ve told you what the Kifzo have said about him.”

“Yeah. I kind of assumed you’d just kill him.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Sure it is. You’re returning with over four thousand men. According to Itken, Tobin has less than that among the army and the watch left behind at Juanoq. And even if the rest of his army has returned from the south, they won’t be filed up and in rank, ready to stand against us. We just have to move quickly and get everything under control before they decide to take your brother’s side.”

“I don’t want a civil war among my people. I have to be smart about this.”

“Then why not just sneak in and kill Tobin in his sleep?”

“Because I don’t know if I want to kill him.”

“I thought you two had bad blood like me and Grin had.”

“I thought so too. But now I don’t know. Something is there, but I can’t just kill the man in his sleep, nor have Krytien burn the palace down with him inside unless I know why there is this rift between us. If I do, then it’s like I never really changed. The person I was before I left Hesh would have done that. The one who wants to bring his people peace can’t.”

Crusher grunted after a long pause. “So, what have you come up with after all this thinking?”

“I think I need to talk to Wiqua.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Maybe he missed something when he healed me. Or maybe he could do something more to help me piece things together.”

“I thought there was a risk in that.”

“There is. I’ve been trying to talk myself into taking it since I know for certain what I risk losing if things don’t work out.”

“Lucia.”

Kaz nodded.

“What are you going to do?”

He sighed. “What she would want me to do. The right thing.”

* * *

Wiqua sat near his bunk on the floor. Kaz waited silently near him, holding the Byzernian’s meal. He knew better than to interrupt the man who had become like a father to him when in these moments of solitude. Wiqua claimed the intense moments of concentration later helped him in performing the more complicated healing spells he’d been called to do on occasion.

A deep sigh passed through the old man’s lips. His eyes opened, and a smile crawled across his face. “I thought I smelled something.”

Kaz lowered himself to the floor, handing the stew to Wiqua.

They talked about trivial things while he ate. Wiqua slurped up the last bite and set the dish on the floor.